Freeing Starr
Chapter 13 ~ Questions and Answers

I gave Niah all the files that I surfed through and confidently stated that I was caught up on everything I needed to know. She was pleasantly surprised that I didn't need to take any longer and I prided myself on that. Working as the Luna of my father's pack had its perks. I was already experienced so pack management came natural to me.

All I had to do now was to confirm a few things with Zion pertaining to the merging of our packs and then I'll be fully ready to start my Luna duties. The only thing I seem to be struggling in right now was the strength portion. I was still weak...

However, I wasn't going to dwell on that. Zion said he'd help me and so I'd do whatever it is he wanted me to, to the best of my abilities. I'll take baby steps.

That evening, I decided to cook dinner for Zion so that we could sit down and talk when he got home. We've never properly had a conversation with each other since we met and I figured that if we were stuck with each other, I might as well try to get accustomed to the man known as my mate and husband.

As I placed the silverware and plates around the table, the front door opened and I glanced at the doorway, my chest tightening slightly as I prepare myself for the meeting. I knew it was Zion. Our mate bond was beginning to show its effects. My heart rate spiked in anticipation.

Zion came into the kitchen as expected and glanced at everything I prepared.

"Where's T'Niah?" Was the first thing he asked.

I frowned as I got slightly annoyed. Why was that the first thing he thought to ask? However, I plastered a smile on my face and forced myself to walk up to him. I grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled him further into the room, pushing him down into a chair, "Hi, she's already left. She had something to do but I made us dinner and was hoping we can eat together... and talk."

"Did you sort through all the documents she prepared for you?" he asked.

I nodded, setting down the dishes I made on the table, "I did, I've memorized everything already. It didn't take me long since I've already been helping my father manage our pack for a few years now."

He nodded in approval, "that's good. Training starts early tomorrow morning. I will not wake you up."

I huffed and sat down across from him, gesturing towards the food, "I know. I'm very dedicated to getting stronger. Let's eat."

He glanced at me but didn't say anything, picked up his fork and began sharing his food.

I watched him nervously, my heart beating a mile a minute as I contemplated speaking my mind.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked without even looking up from his food.

"Huh? Oh! yeah I'm eating," I quickly took up my fork and began sharing myself food as well.

Then we ate in silence.

Sitting across from him like this actually calmed me somewhat and I was positive that it was our mate bond playing its games. I was still very afraid of him, but the fear seemed to have settled into the back of my mind. I guess my outburst yesterday have a part to play in it. If I was going to get punished for that then he would've done so already so if not then I guess speaking my mind won't make him angry?

I glanced over at his blank expression as he ate and pursed my lips. He really didn't talk much. It unnerved me and calmed me at the same time. One, because I never knew what was going on in that twisted mind of his and two, because I wasn't obligated to speak to him so I was just a lump of flesh and mixed feelings.

"Do you have something to say? Just say it... Staring at me won't give you answers," he said, startling me out of my thoughts and causing me to perk up cautiously.

I hesitated before probing, "you won't punish me for speaking up?"

He glanced across at me blankly, "Is speaking a crime now?"

"Some Alphas don't like to be questioned," I pointed out.

"You're an Alpha," he retorted.

"Not a very strong one," my voice lowered guiltily as I said that and Zion's eyes narrowed in on me.

"Why is that?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "maybe it's how I grew up? My wolf barely shows herself so I never got to explore my bloodline as an Alpha."

Zion tilted his head curiously, "I've noticed... you speak like your wolf and you are separate entities... why is that?"

I furrowed my brows, "what do you mean? Aren't we? I hear her thoughts and she hears mines."

"You hear the thoughts of your wolf?"

I frowned... puzzlement filtering my mind, "Am I not supposed to?"

Zion frowned and shook his head, "the wolf and human are one. There's no seperate entities between them."

I reeled back in surprise then immediately denied, "that's impossible. I've always had my wolf in the back of my mind. I've seen the wolves of others in their eyes as well."

"... you've seen the wolf of others? In their eyes?" Zion repeated me doubtfully as if what I was saying was completely unheard of and impossible.

I placed my fork down as my mind reeled at this revelation and my heartbeat sped up, "you don't see it?" I asked anxiously.

Zion shook his head, "this is the first I've heard of such a thing."

I fell silent and stared blankly down at the food in front of me. I didn't know what to say or think. I've always been like this and I always thought it was normal. Not that I had anyone to confide in about it but I never knew that speaking to your wolf wasn't possible. My mind was a blank of confusion. I couldn't pull my thoughts together at all.

"Interesting," Zion murmured to himself as he fell into deep thought, "I'll look into this and see if I replace something."

I nodded absent-mindedly as I picked up my fork and began picking at my food.

"Besides that though, did you not have more questions for me? Why else would you want to talk?"

I shook myself out of my daze and placed my confusion to the back of my mind. Focusing on the mission I had before me, I looked over at Zion again with renewed interest, "this is the first time you've spoken so many words to me."

"I don't speak unless necessary."

"So it's necessary right now?"

"Would you prefer I ignore you?"

"No..."

"Then speak, but keep in mind that I also have questions of my own."

I perked up at that as he finally showed interest in me as a person and happily replied, "Then let's do it this way. Each of us gets to ask five questions."

He hummed his agreement then nodded at me, "you go first."

I took a deep breath, the fear that I always had when around him overrun by my urge to know more as well as seeing his complacent attitude.

"Why a rogue pack? You're an Alpha. You could've gotten the approval from the Alpha King to create a legal pack of your own."

Zion frowned, "It's not that I haven't thought about it but, it's not as easy as it seems. My pack is open to rogues because I myself, grew up as a rogue. You know this better than anyone. Most wolves that go rogue were either kicked out of their packs, were banished criminals or wolves whose pack got destroyed and left them with nowhere to go. Wolves travel in packs for more reason than one. If they stray outside of a pack for too long, they begin losing themselves and becoming rabid, thus why most rogues form bonds with each other to avoid that. When I built my pack and took in all those willing, I didn't differentiate between the wicked or the good and so because of this many criminals have gathered here and I accepted this. I believe that the societal laws that these "packs" force themselves to follow are wrong. A wolf deserves to be free in their own skin, to let their instincts run wild without being restricted. That's true freedom. We're animals and we need to stop pretending we aren't. The Alpha King included."

My lips tilted into a frown as I thought about what he said but firmly shook my head, "I don't agree."

"Oh?" Zion raised an eyebrow in surprise, since this was the first time I've gone against him directly, excluding my outburst from the day prior.

I spoke my truth, "Everyone needs laws to regulate themselves. Even animals have a structure or code they live by. If we were to all let go of our inhibitions and give into our instincts, it would be chaos. The world is chaotic as it is, we don't need rapists, murderers and psychopaths running loose with no inhibitions because they simply 'felt like it'. Sometimes control is necessary for people to live with a peace of mind."

Zion's gaze hardened slightly as he heard my words, "suppressing our beast does not bring peace. It births agitation."

"There are many things that birth agitation, Zion. If your wolf suddenly gets so angry at your parents that you get the urge to hurt them, will you follow through?"

"Yes and in the process, I'd assume we'll simply fight it out until one side wins."

I stared in disbelief at his reply, "those are your parents! Your loved ones! You'd really hurt them in a burst of anger?"

"They'll heal."

"And what if they don't?"

Zion's frown deepened, "then they die. This world is survival of the fittest. If you're not strong enough to survive it, you shouldn't live in it."

"Now you're just talking with the mindset of a rogue, not an alpha." I declared heatedly.

Zion's sharp gaze bore into me and struck my heart with his terror. I averted my eyes and glanced down at my fingers, fiddling them. I had long since stopped eating.

"I'm a Rogue Alpha. My mindset is justified and I'm sure many in this pack agrees with me." He stated coldly.

That's the problem. This pack isn't a functional one if it has no real structure. I refrained from speaking aloud and changed the subject. I could already sense his rising agitation.

"It's your turn to ask a question."

Zion blew out a puff of air and adopted a thoughtful expression before he asked, "How did you grow up? Why are you like this now? So weak... timid... I didn't want to ask you before because I didn't care but if it affects your job as Luna, I'll need to know."

I stiffened at that and hesitated as memories of my childhood flashed before my eyes. So many scenes blinded me as I recalled all the pain, torture and suffering that I've been through.

My lips tilted up slightly in what was probably a bitter smile. I glanced across at the man who watched me intensely, waiting for my answer.

"Do I have to answer?" My voice came out soft and shaky, the hesitation and fear clear for all to hear.

Zion didn't hesitate, "Yes, from your reaction right now, it wasn't a pretty one. This could be the answer I need to figure out why you're so weak considering your bloodline."

I pursed my lips as I gazed down at the now cold food in front of me.

"Growing up, it was always just my father and me." A shiver ran down my spine as images began circling my mind, "my mother had a naturally weak body and so she passed away after giving birth to me. My father was never the same after that. This is basically from the stories I've heard since I've only ever known my father's authoritative and demented side. Only the older members of the pack knew the good man my father was supposedly before his mate's death. I was an exact replica of my mother and it drove my father wild. Because of this..." I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I was forced to do whatever he wanted me to. I was belittled, beaten and cursed at, but most of all... I was touched and loved in a way that a father should never love his daughter."

A tear slipped down my cheek as my voice broke.

"I was raped."