Gina, And Her Triplet Alphas
Chapter 77

Denver.

They say what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

Honestly, I wish I can believe that currently in my life.

Most times I wonder why I had to survive the poison, why didn’t I just die? I certainly would have preferred to be dead to this person that I have become. I don’t know myself anymore, what is an alpha without his wolf?

I wake up every morning wishing I didn’t have to. I feel I have let myself down and not only that, I have failed my family and my entire pack.

But most painfully, I have let My woman down. God knows I wanted to give her the best life, I wanted to be the perfect mate for her. But all that has turned into a wistful thought overnight.

It is so frustrating when I see her here in my room putting a mask in the guise of a smile when I know deep down she is hurting.

She forgets that I feel her pains, every night she goes to her bed to soak her pillows in tears. It hurts me to know that, she is hurting and there is nothing I can do about it.

I can’t even assure her of protecting her, and taking away her sorrow when I can hardly believe my words.

She is better off without me.

And I am glad, that, despite my misfortune, she is not completely alone. My brothers would take good care of her, I am sure of it. I just need to get out of her way, so she can live her life happily without thinking or remembering anything about me.

That was the decision I made last night, that this morning I was going to do my best to hurt her and push her to hate me.

“Do you need anything else, Alpha Denver,” the nurse attending to my wounds questioned, as she was about to round off her treatment.

I was about to reply to her when the door opened, and I saw Gina and my brothers standing at the door.

“Get out,” I said to the nurse, while I quickly wore my shirt to keep Gina away from seeing my wounds.

I could feel her heartache, and I knew I needed to stiffen my heart in other to achieve what I wanted.

My brothers abruptly stopped at the door after seeing my none approachable demeanor.

God knows how much I have missed them, especially Devon and the little tantrums that he throws now and then.

I could feel Derrick’s eyes on me as if silently wishing that I invite them in, but he notices that I was not going to take my eyes out of the window, and he gives up.

“We will be waiting for you at the reception,” I heard Derrick say to our mate before he and Devon walked off.

Within seconds, I was left alone with her, and I could feel my heart slowly melting towards her. My body craved her touch and f**k, did I mention how beautiful she was looking in the blue dress that I got her?

She had never really worn this particular one since we bought it, but I can vividly remember picking it for her.

It is outstanding how she made the dress look so priceless. I was intoxicated by her mere presence, and that was definitely on my game plan.

I could feel myself failing again, and I didn’t want that, so I pretended not to notice her presence.

“How are you,” she questioned with a smile, as she walked further into the room.

I didn’t answer, but, instead, moved away from her and in silence.

I couldn’t trust my voice at that moment, any little mistake, and she would notice that this was nothing but an act.

I hardened my heart.

“I came to talk with you, keep you company,” she said as she pulled out the chair by my bedside to sit on.

God, she was making this more difficult for me. I wished she could just get angry and leave and not leave her beautiful scent all over the room.

I tried my best not to respond to her, and I knew I was hurting her more just by my silence. I knew she was trying to make me say something, I knew she was trying to help me. Only if she understood that I was trying to help her too.

“Okay, since you would rather not speak with me, I will just talk by myself while you listen,” she said, dropping the bag she had with her on the table.

I wonder why she has to be so stubborn.

Even though that was one of the first things that attracted me to her. I have always loved a person who speaks and stands for what was right, regardless of what others thought.

She was about to open her mouth to say something when I said.

“What do you want,” I questioned, using what was left of my alpha voice.

“To talk. I want to know how you are doing,” she said calmly to me.

“I’m fine, as you can see, you can leave now,” I said dismissively to her.

“I would rather not leave, I came to spend some time with you,” she said, standing up from the chair she sat on and slowly coming to where I was.

But on seeing her motive, I moved further away. I can’t let her touch me, those sparks from her touch would thoroughly ruin me.

“I would rather not talk, please just leave,” I said, moving further away from her.

I could feel her heartbreak, as she tried to fight the pain that was threatening to spill out of her lips.

“Did I do something wrong? Are you blaming me for what happened?” she questioned.

Her eyes suddenly replace the floor before her fascinating to stare at.

Or maybe that was just her doing what she needed to do, so I don’t know that my words were like a dagger to her heart.

“Gina, please, stop making this harder than it already is, I just don’t want to be close to you,” I said.

My words made her subconsciously look into my eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Each of her tears was like an acid drop on my wounds, and it was f*****g unbearable. She searches my cold eyes for an explanation, I knew she was going to depend on the reason I was rejecting her.

“Why? Why don’t you want me anymore? Are you mad at me? Do you blame me for the actions of the evil man I just found out was my father? If you are angry at me, why don’t you say it? I would truly understand your pains,” she said, tears still raining from her eyes.

I could feel my heart getting softened towards her, and the need to comfort her and tell her that I could never want to intentionally hurt her washed over me.

“Gina, stop it, you know all these things you are saying are not true,” I said to her in a slightly warmer tone.

The calmest I have used since she walked in.

“Then, what is it?” she inquired as unshed tears made her eyes glisten.

I could just tell her now that I was pretending and that I truly loved her with every b***d, water, and fire within me.

But won’t that make me selfish?

She will be our pack, Luna, she needs a strong Alpha, or alphas as the case may be. That would stand by her side to rule the kingdom, just like my father.

“I don’t love you,” I blurted out at the top of my voice.

“What?” she questioned, surprised at my words and sudden outburst.

“I’m sorry, I have not always loved you, I was only using you, and seriously I am not sorry about it,” I said to her.

Her right hand hastily collided with my face, and God, I have never been so glad to be hit by someone in my life.

I wished she would do more.

I wouldn’t mind her hitting, punching, scratching, and doing all sorts of hurtful things to me at that moment.

But then she was to ruin it, she was going to apologize when I should be the one apologizing for failing to meet my responsibility of being a true mate.

“Are you done? Now get out,” I said in a spiky, icy voice that impeded her heart and made it bleed.

More tears spilled from her eyes as she stared at me to tell her that I was joking.

But my cold stare notified her that as of that moment, I was done speaking with her.

She slowly wiped off her tears and tried her best to not let her tears show as she walked towards the door.

But the moment she opened the door to replace my other two brothers waiting for her, fresh tears brewed from her eyes.

Derrick and Devon hugged her tightly as she cried on their shoulders.

That moment it hit, the words that Lucas Amel had said to me on the battlefield.

If you kill me, you become me.

I didn’t even have to kill the bastard to become a monster like him.

Yes. I turned into a monster the moment I let my mate down, the moment I made her heartache and made her eyes bleed because of me.

She was better off without me and I am not going to rest until she realizes that.