Goldsin (The Chrysophilist Trilogy Book 1)
Goldsin: Chapter 13

The up and down movement of Aurelia’s chest lulls me all night. Not even sleep is as restful as losing myself to the sight of her.

I can’t bring myself to leave this chair, to stop watching her sleep so peacefully in my bed. The sight of her lost in the serenity of sleep chains me in place.

But as the morning sun creeps into the room, casting golden rays across her beautiful face, I know I have to get up.

Yet I stay still a second longer.

A second longer to feel the echo of guilt as the idea of Aurelia being involved in DeMarco’s death scratches at my insides.

Is it my fault? If I hadn’t pushed her away all those years ago, would she still have done it?

With a heavy sigh, I carefully get up. I take a quick shower, washing the paint off my face and the dried blood from my body. Once the water turns cold, I slip out and dry myself off. I take a new pair of sweatpants and walk silently out of the room.

Why did she do it?

Why can’t she trust me?

Because she’s no fool. Because you took her trust for granted, the voice in the back of my mind whispers.

Padding silently through the hallway, I reach the kitchen. I rub my eyes, which feel heavy as my eyelids drag closed. Like sandpaper, their dryness cuts with each blink.

It must be 5 a.m. Too early for the household to be awake, but right on time with my usual schedule.

That’s why, when I round the corner, I’m surprised to replace Adrian already there, sipping his coffee and perusing the morning paper. He’s already dressed in his usual crisp white shirt and dark blue trousers—a sight for sore eyes this early in the morning.

Now that I think about it, when was the last time I saw him wearing anything but his usual annoyingly formal attire?

He glances up at me with a smirk, clearly taking note of my disheveled appearance—the opposite of his pristine one.

“Rough night?” He raises his brow.

“Something like that.”

I pour myself a cup of coffee, trying to ignore his hawk eyes.

“Speaking of last night, I’ve got some new information on DeMarco’s killer,” Adrian says, setting down his newspaper.

I try to keep my expression neutral as I lean against the counter sipping my coffee. I hope against hope he hasn’t figured out Aurelia’s involvement in his death.

“Really? What’d you replace?”

“Well.” He rests his elbows on the table. “It seems we have a new player in the game. Someone who’s been keeping a low profile but has recently made quite the entrance.”

No.

“Go on,” I urge, my stomach twisting into knots as I brace myself for what he might say next.

“Turns out our mystery man has connections to the criminal underworld. Seems he’s been making moves to consolidate power and take out the competition. But here’s the interesting part,” Adrian continues, pausing for dramatic effect. Dickhead. “He doesn’t seem to have any connection to the Inferno Consortium.”

Wait . . .

Man. He said man.

Momentary relief washes over me, but it’s quickly replaced by an even greater sense of dread. What if this guy is involved with Aurelia? Maybe he helped her kill DeMarco. And most importantly, how long will it be before he leads Adrian to her?

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Adrian replies confidently, finishing off his coffee with a satisfying gulp. “This guy’s been on our radar for a while now, but he only recently stepped into the spotlight. I’m convinced he’s the one behind DeMarco’s murder.”

“All right,” I say slowly, mind racing as I try to process this new information. “So what’s our next move?”

“We need to replace him and take him down.” His eyes darken with determination. “No one messes with the Harrow family and gets away with it.”

“Do we have anything to go by? A name, maybe?”

Adrian shakes his head. “All we know is that he . . . doesn’t exist.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“The Consortium is searching for him.” Adrian looks me dead in the eye. “Has been for years, and they still haven’t caught the man.”

“No one is invisible.” I take a long sip of my coffee, the liquid burning down my throat. “Did he ever kill anyone before DeMarco?”

“That’s the thing. If he ever did, no one knew.”

“Until now.” I echo his thoughts.

This guy isn’t DeMarco’s killer. His killer is sleeping cuddled up under my sheets right now. But it won’t hurt for Lucian to think he’s found him. It’ll give me some time to crack Aurelia open before they figure everything out. Plus, this guy deserves some fair play.

After all, karma doesn’t exist in this life. It’s just a playing card people use to their own advantage.

I’m playing mine on him now.

“Julian?”

Aurelia’s voice rings out from my bedroom down the hall, startling both me and Adrian.

“Is that . . .?” Adrian’s eyes widen with disbelief.

“None other,” I reply, feigning nonchalance as I lean against the kitchen counter. I can’t help but smirk at the look on Adrian’s face. “She stayed over last night.”

“Stayed . . . over?” Adrian echoes, his expression a mixture of shock and anger. He studies me for a moment as if trying to determine if I’m telling the truth. “Are you telling me Aurelia spent the night here, with you?”

“Yep,” I confirm, taking another sip of my coffee. “We slept together.”

My words hang heavy in the air, and I can practically feel Adrian’s rage growing by the second. It’s not like I’m lying. Although she did all the sleeping while I just stared.

“Julian, don’t you dare—” he starts, but I cut him off, knowing exactly where this is going.

“Relax, brother.” I wave a dismissive hand. “It’s not like it’s the first time.”

“Stay away from her,” he bites out, clenching his fists at his side. “She’s not a pawn for you to play with.”

Annoyance flickers in my chest, but I ignore it, keeping my expression cool and indifferent. “And since when did you become her personal bodyguard?”

“Since she started acting suspiciously.” He narrows his eyes at me. “Did you know she was desperate to go to Victoria’s party? I’ve been keeping tabs on her since then. She’s definitely hiding something.”

I freeze on the spot.

Fucking hell, can this morning give me a break?

My mind races with thoughts of Aurelia’s secret. It’s not surprising that Adrian noticed her strange behavior, but hearing him confirm it sends a shiver down my spine. He’s always been more observant than most give him credit for.

His gaze doesn’t waver from mine, searching for a hint of anything. “There’s something going on with her, Julian. She’s not the same girl she used to be.”

“None of us are the same people we used to be.”

“Look, I don’t know what game you’re playing.” His voice is low and intense. “But I won’t let you drag her deeper into our world. Not when I don’t know what she’s hiding.”

“Who says I want to drag her into anything?” I retort, anger finally bubbling to the surface. “Maybe I just want her.”

“Then you’re a bigger fool than I thought,” he snaps.

I don’t respond, letting his words hang heavy in the air between us.

“Stay away from her, Julian,” Adrian repeats, his voice softer now but no less insistent.

As he storms out of the kitchen I bite back a thousand retorts, knowing they won’t change anything.

The moment his footsteps finish echoing down the hall, Aurelia appears in the doorway. Her hair is tousled, and her cheeks are flushed.

Her eyes flick toward Adrian’s retreating figure before settling on me. She arches a brow in a silent question.

I can tell she overheard our conversation from where she was hiding behind the kitchen door, and I relish in the fact she knows Adrian believes we’ve been intimate.

“Good morning, beautiful.” I ignore the daggers forming behind her eyes. “Sleep well?”

“Slept better,” she hums, trying to sound casual as she crosses the room to pour herself a cup of coffee.

I can’t help but stare at her as she moves. Her hips sway with a confidence that seems so natural, so innate, it’s hard to believe this is the same girl who blushed every time we fought; whose vulnerability shone through when she thought no one was watching.

“Is everything okay with Adrian?” she asks, taking a sip of her coffee and grimacing at the taste.

The sugar jar is right there on her left. I know she sees it. But I guess adding some sugar proves her vulnerability? Fuck knows.

I don’t answer her. My thoughts are still caught up in the conversation I just had with my brother. His suspicions about her, his warnings for me to stay away from her—it all feels like a giant weight pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe.

He is so close. Too damn close.

He’ll soon smell the blood staining her hands.

“Julian?” Aurelia’s voice breaks through the fog in my mind, pulling me back to the present. “You look . . . I don’t know, worried. Did something happen?”

I shake my head, not trusting myself to speak. Not that there’s anything to say when she has so much more to reveal first.

“Forget it.” I turn away from her and focus on my own cup of coffee, its nauseating smell a stark reminder of how things usually turn out.

How much longer can I keep pretending everything is fine when it so clearly isn’t?

With that, she turns her attention to making herself some breakfast.

She moves around the kitchen with practiced ease, opening cabinets and drawers without hesitation. It’s obvious she’s been in this kitchen many times before, back when she was dating Adrian and would spend the night in his room.

Those were the days I conveniently allowed myself an extra-long lie-in. It was either that or bash Adrian’s head on the counter every time she blinked her big eyes up at him.

The thought vanishes as I watch Aurelia toast a bagel and spread cream cheese on it, her every gesture familiar and yet somehow new. There’s something both comforting and unsettling about the way she fits so seamlessly into our lives, as though she belongs here more than I do.

But then I remember Adrian’s words—his warnings, his suspicions—and I know I can’t afford to let my guard down. Not now. Not ever. Because no matter how much I want to believe otherwise, there’s a darkness lurking beneath her surface. A secret that threatens to destroy her—along with me.

Because I’ll be fucked if I ever let her go anywhere I am not.

Aurelia finishes preparing her breakfast, adding some smoked salmon, and as she takes a bite of her bagel I admire the way her eyes sparkle with life. She always has been a beacon of light. Whenever I replace myself immersed in my thoughts, she’ll be there for me to turn to, brighter than the city lights.

I want to reach out and touch her, to lose myself in her warmth and forget about the darkness threatening to consume us both, but I know I can’t. Not when there’s so much at stake.

“Julian,” she sighs, pivoting on the spot as she looks at me. Her voice breaks the silence between us. It seems she was debating whether to push further or not and decided to just go for it. “What’s going on with Adrian? You two seemed tense earlier.”

When all I do is gulp down the last remaining dregs of my coffee, she eyes me skeptically. Then she takes another bite of her bagel and presses further.

“Come on, Julian. I know you better than anyone. You’re hiding something from me.”

I’m hiding something from her?

I lose it.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I meet her gaze head-on despite the turmoil raging within me. “I’m not the one who killed a man and is now buried beneath his carcass.” The words slither out, vibrating on my last nerve. “Adrian is just concerned about some things. And he has his reasons to be.”

“Oh, for God’s sake. I didn’t kill DeMarco!” she heaves out, body vibrating with the force she puts into playing the part of the misunderstood victim. Then something switches inside of her. She registers what else I’ve said and asks, “Concerned?” A hint of annoyance creeps into her voice. “What does that even mean?”

“Let’s just say, he’s been paying closer attention to certain people than you may have realized. And he’s starting to put some pieces together.”

Aurelia’s eyes narrow, and she sets her bagel down on her plate, her appetite seemingly forgotten. “Are you saying he’s been spying on me?”

“Maybe.”

Aurelia slams her palm on the kitchen counter, her face a mixture of hurt and something else. “I can’t believe this! What gives him the right to invade my privacy like that? And why are you defending him?”

“Because he’s my brother!” I snap, my own temper flaring in response to her accusation.

And because you. Don’t. Trust. Me.

“And because I know he’s only doing it to protect our family,” I add instead.

“Even if it means treating me like a criminal?” Her eyes blaze with indignation. “I thought we were past all that, Julian. I thought we were . . . closer than that.”

It’s like a punch to the gut, hearing her voice crack with disappointment. But even as my heart freezes over, I know I can’t afford to let my emotions cloud my judgment.

“Sometimes, golden one,” I say, struggling to keep my anger steady, “we have to make hard choices for the people we care about.”

She thinks I’m still talking about Adrian. If only she knew how deeply I’ve thrust myself into this shithole she created; how I’m talking about her and not him. But why give her the satisfaction when she keeps lying to me?

“Is that what this is then?” Her expression hardens slightly as she searches my face for answers. “Just another hard choice for you to make?”

I witness the slow change in her gaze. The spark that was there a minute ago ignites, burning everything softly, leaving only the jagged edge now staring back at me.

“You’re running out of time.” My voice is low and heavy with the weight of my certainty. “Sooner or later, either Adrian or I will uncover your secret, and when that happens . . .”

I trail off, unable to finish the thought. Because deep down I know there is no good outcome to this situation. No scenario where we all walk away unscathed. We’re past that now. The clock has been ticking for far too long.

“Is that a threat?” She stares at me with wild eyes.

“Consider it a warning.” My heart pounds in my chest, freezing as I take a step back from the precipice of our shared destruction. “Because I honestly don’t know which is worse.”

And with that, I grab the half-eaten bagel from her plate and take a bite, the stale taste a stark contrast to the sweetness present last night.

I turn and leave her standing in the kitchen, alone—just how she likes it.

For now.