Grim and Bear It
Chapter Thirteen

Jake

I'd changed three times. What did one wear for a serious, secret meeting with the former love of their life who was also a grim reaper? I ended up in gray joggers and a white T-shirt. They were more comfortable on my sore leg than jeans but they weren't pajama bottoms, and white T-shirts matched everything.

Sebastian leaned against my doorframe, arms crossed, judging me. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Were you this annoying when you lived with Mina?"

"More, likely. She was so emotionally naïve she didn't figure out she was falling into love until it was too late. You know exactly what you're doing." He glanced at the wall above my bed, then back at me.

I ran my hand through my hair to make it sit right. "A runaway car almost turned me into a pancake today. She has insider info. That's all this is."

After Poppy disappeared, I phoned in the accident to SHAP. I had given the credit to Belphegor, saying he stopped the car with a pole he had found in the parking lot. I was going to need to brief him next time I saw him. While having him on the paperwork wasn't ideal, he had made himself invaluable during the initial investigation of the Thinner case, and SHAP had been lenient on his presence in Applechester. It would be far worse to have a reaper on the report.

"I am always deeply impressed by the excuses humans are able to create when it comes to matters of the heart."

I shot him a look. "I'm not Mina. I'm not going to let you be in my business."

He laughed. "I replace it humorous that you think Mina didn't put up a harder fight than you. When you're my age, you'll understand."

I grunted in response, not bothering with the energy to fight him. "You can't be here when she shows up. It'll make you liable."

"Contain your concern. I'm departing momentarily." He gave me a long look. "I know trying to dissuade you is futile, as I know you and Poppy carry great affection for one another, but please proceed with the utmost caution." With a tip of his top hat, he disappeared.

As I moved into the living room, my phone chimed with my Mina and Carma group chat text.

Mina: Why's Sebastian interrupting movie night with Reggie? He said you have a clandestine meeting

Carma: Is this Sebastian code for date?

I knew this chat was going to bite me in the ass.

Jake: Not a date. A work thing.

Mina: At 11:45PM? Alone?

Carma: Mina, weren't our first like 7 dates "work things"???

Jake: I'm blocking you both.

Mina: I'll tell Magnolia.

Jake: If you do, I'll tell her you proposed.

Mina: JAKE!

Carma: Remember how I said I always wanted a little brother? I take it back.

Jake: I give good birthday presents Carma: *thinking emoji*

Mina: Careful what you wish for. This one comes with a side of revenge.

Mina: For real be careful tonight.

Jake: Of course Mom.

Carma: I love you guys.

Mina: *barf emoji*

Jake: *barf emoji*

Carma: *eyeroll emoji*

I nearly dropped my phone when a knock sounded on the wall. I looked up to replace Poppy standing near the front door. My heart thudded hard against my ribcage. "Can I come in?" She smiled sheepishly. "More in, anyway."

"Yeah, of course." I gestured to the couch. I sat down and straightened my leg out with a deep breath. It hurt a little less than yesterday, which was a slight improvement.

Poppy pulled her hood down and tugged at the fabric. "Mind if I take this off?" I shook my head. "You have to promise not to laugh. Remember, I was sixteen and trying to rebel."

I lifted my eyebrows in a silent question. "Promise."

She pulled out her violin and set it on the table, then laid her sword on the floor next to the couch. She shrugged out of her cloak, revealing her bright pink T-shirt and unicorn leggings. I pressed my lips together and put my hand over my mouth to hide my smile.

She glanced up at me as she laid the cloak over the arm of the couch and crossed her arms. "You promised."

I cleared my throat. "I'm not laughing. I'm going to sneeze."

She shook her head and slumped onto the couch next to me. "Fine, just hurry up."

I threw my head back and let out a belly laugh. "How pissed were your dads?"

"So pissed. They had gotten us all matching black outfits. They just made the mistake of not waiting until I was totally asleep before leaving my room."

I thumbed wetness away from the corner of my eye. "Only you would rebel against your family by wearing a pink shirt and unicorns." I had seen her in this outfit before, but twenty-eight-year-old Poppy wore it differently than her younger self. Her shirt was tighter around her chest and hips, and the leggings were no longer baggy around her fuller thighs.

She lifted a shoulder. "It's comfy, and the reaper magic keeps them in good shape." She lifted her arm. "See? No pit stains."

I laughed even harder. That was such a Poppy thing to say.

She pulled at the leggings on her lower thigh. "No saggy knees either."

"Reaper magic keeps your clothes nice, but you can't change them?" I asked, once I caught my breath.

"I know, right? Apparently, that's the limit." She laugh-sighed and shook her head. "Oh well, there are worse outfits to be stuck in for all eternity. Like the distant cousins who died during a costume party dressed as a horse. One was the front and one was the butt."

I groaned. "I c-can't l-laugh at that." I sucked in a steadying breath. "I'll die wearing a clown costume or something."

She nodded. "We have at least three clowns, actually."

"That's terrifying."

"You're telling me. One is from 1812, and clowns back then were freaky."

I pulled out my phone and searched clowns in 1800s, then promptly closed the browser. "Well, I'll never sleep again."

She nodded. "To be honest, I haven't slept since I saw them either." She winked at me. "That's a joke. Because I can't sleep."

"Ha, ha." I smiled and rested back against the cushions. "I really miss you."

"Same." She looked around the room, taking in the gray walls, patterned curtains, and matching armchairs with throw pillows. "Magnolia was here."

"Literally before the moving truck showed up. I walked in to replace the place painted and half furnished."

"Do you like it?"

I bounced my head. "Better than anything I would've done by myself."

She sat up and faced me. "Can I look around?"

I gestured with my hand to the kitchen. "Have at it."

She slid off the couch and walked toward the kitchen, and I smiled at her bare feet with pink toenails. Her floor length robe had covered them, but her leggings stopped just above her ankles. The thought of Poppy walking around collecting souls in bare feet, probably because she forgot to put shoes on when she changed her outfit, was bittersweet. It was so very Poppy, and so very much proof that she had been too young to carry this much of a burden.

She stuck her head out of the kitchen doorway. "Why's your kitchen so clean?"

"Because I don't like mess," I answered, shuffling toward her.

"You would not like my room in the barracks. It has stacks of books and sheet music everywhere."

I shook my head. "Of course it does."

"Let me guess," she said, opening the oven door, "I could eat off any surface in this house?" She leaned in to inspect the oven. "Have you ever even turned this on?"

I rolled my eyes. "Two days ago."

"Sure." With a cheeky smile, she closed the oven, then slid past me and moved down the hall, pausing to open my hall closet. "Even your fitted sheets are folded in perfect squares!" "They aren't hard."

"You would say that. My arms are too short."

"Do you fold many fitted sheets as a reaper?"

"I ruled it out as a hobby my first week. I mostly stick to small throws and towels." She stuck her tongue out at me and I laughed deep.

My hand pressed to my stomach as the tension eased, a feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time. Was it the laughter? Or was it just being near Poppy?

She moved across the hall and into the combination guest bathroom-laundry room. "There is not a speck of lint anywhere." I could hear her remove the lint trap on the dryer. "Did you clean this with a toothbrush? Why are you like this? You didn't used to be. At least not this bad."

I didn't answer. I didn't have a way to explain my need to control everything I could. That real life was messy and emotional and the more organized and clean my space was, the safer I felt. I couldn't tell her it all started when she disappeared. "Just habit," I answered, dismissing her questions. "We should probably talk about why you're here."

She leaned against the doorframe. "With your bedroom right there and completely unseen? Not a chance."

She scooted by me, so close her clothes brushed my skin, and moved toward the darkened doorway. As she reached for the light switch, realization dawned as to why I should've exercised more caution before letting her explore. "Poppy, wait

The light flipped on. She gasped. I covered my eyes with my hand for a moment, feeling like a silly teenager who just got caught writing a note to his crush. Except I wasn't a teenager anymore, and this wasn't a note.

It was an extravagantly large acrylic painting above my bed that depicted a field of poppies. The petals of the flowers were textured, giving the painting a three-dimensional look. Rows and rows of poppies made a half moon around one large flower in the center. In a room of cool grays and whites, the petals' vibrant red was the only bright color.

She stood in the doorway, one leg tucked behind the other, her arms around her middle, except her right hand, which was pressed to her mouth. Emotion clogged my throat as I watched the woman who had changed every aspect of my life bear witness to how much she still affected me. I never dreamed this day would or could happen and had never stopped to be self-conscious.

Somehow this felt like saying "I love you" all over again. As if I was still sixteen, awkward and unsure about everything in my life except her. Teenage Jake had gotten a bouquet of fake poppies from the fabric store and squeezed them tightly as I paced the small treehouse, keeping my head bent low to not bang it on the low ceiling. The moment she'd gotten to the top of the ladder, I just blurted it out without any pretense. Thankfully, she laughed, told me she loved me back, and kissed me.

Now, present-day Poppy unfolded her body and walked on the balls of her feet into the room, approaching the painting like she would a frightened animal. I felt like that animal. She skirted in between the bed and the side table and stood in front of the canvas.

I had found the painting when I was on a mission in Grand Rapids. It was in the window display for a small gallery and stopped me dead in my tracks. After staring at it for an hour, I purchased it and carried it with me from hotel room to hotel room for forty-three days, until I finished the mission. It was the most expensive thing in the condo that wasn't an appliance.

Poppy reached up and traced a petal with a delicate finger. She studied her finger, as if searching it for answers.

I moved into the room behind her, leaning on the edge of my bed. "You aren't the only one who can't figure out how to move on." My voice was barely louder than my heartbeat. "It was supposed to be you and me."

She turned to face me. "Do you think we would've made it?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I used to stay up all night wondering why our parents were so against us being together." I scrunched my nose. "Which makes a lot more sense now. I mean, I know my dad was worried about our age difference, but my guess is your folks were worried about you being a reaper."

She nodded, looking down at her feet. "They always had serious talks with my siblings' partners, but they were all adults then. I think they weren't sure how to explain it to another kid and that kid's family."

I looked up at the painting, then at her, the juxtaposition making my chest warm. They were both breathtaking. "For what it's worth, I would've come with you," I whispered.

She shook her head. "You would've had to give up everything, Jake. You wouldn't even know Daisy. Eliza wouldn't have her older brother."

"Do you remember the night we saw the shooting star?" She bit her bottom lip and nodded. "Do you remember what we wished for?" We had been wrapped around each other, whispering dreams about the future, kissing each other every few minutes until the sun came up.

"We wished for forever."

"I'd still make the same wish today," I admitted. I didn't want to leave my sister and definitely not my niece. The thought tore my heart in half. But Poppy was my person, the other half of my heart, the soul who understood mine without words. She unlocked and ran over to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and burying her face in my neck. I put my forehead on her shoulder and held her against me. She was cold, as if she'd come inside from a winter day with no coat on. I smoothed my hand over her long hair, trying to calm the way her arms trembled.

"I know I need to stay away from you," she whispered, "but I don't know how. My heart may have stopped beating, but it never stopped loving you."

"I don't know how to do this either." I lifted my head and raised both my hands to cradle the side of her face. "Twelve years later and we still have bad timing."

"And I have the unfortunate problem of being dead." She said it with a smile, but her voice was thick with emotion.

"Death doesn't stop love."

"Don't I know it."

I slid my hands into her silky hair, and then she slid hers over mine, our fingers entwining. "Kiss me, Poppy."

Her eyes widened, then moved to my mouth. She pressed her forehead against mine and bit her bottom lip. "I can't," she breathed and pulled my hands away from her face. "I'm barely hanging on as it is. If I kiss you..." She pressed her lips together then took a deep breath. "If I kiss you, and something happens to you, I don't know how I'd go back to just being a reaper. Honestly, I'd probably jump into the River Styx and swim to the Isle of Exile and call it a day." "What's the Isle of Exile?"

She shook her head and gave me a sad smile. "Long story." She took a step back, allowing the real world to fill in the space between us. "We should talk, Jake. Try to figure out what's going on."

I pressed a fist to my chest for a moment, the ache greater than the pain in my leg. "I'll meet you back in the living room."

She nodded and turned on her heel, pausing for a moment to take one last look at the painting before walking out.