Hatred With Benefits
S E V E N T Y - T H R E E

EVA.

"Emerson."

My eyes open to the while ceiling and my hand move on its own across the bed, but end up with nothing.

My chest drops as I sit up on the bed, my eyes glancing at the clock by the side which reads almost ten. And Emerson is yet to be back.

I lift my body to grab my phone, and there are no new notifications from him.

"Where did you go?" I mumble as I stare at the numerous messages I've left him before I climb off the bed and head out of his room. The uncomfortable silence in the house swims around me as I stride to the kitchen to get a glass of water. After having a sip, I take the glass with me and pace to the living room, dropping on the couch as I place the glass in front of me.

Silence. A drop. A swallow. A heartbeat- the cycle goes on and on with my feet tapping against the floor and my phone in my hand, and when my thoughts go to the point of almost driving me insane, I move from the couch and place a call to Aliya, chewing on my lips as the line rings once and twice before it connects.

"Eva?" Her voice sounds tired as it comes through and I part my lips, "Did I wake you? I'm sorry. I just need to talk to someone or my thoughts will get out of hand."

"Did something happen? Are you back from home?" There's a sound of ruffling sheets as she asks the question and I say, "I got back a while ago, and I can't replace Emerson. " "Did you leave texts?"

I nod. "And calls. I got no response, and I'm about to lose my mind. It's unlike him and the possibilities I'm thinking of are so damn wild that I just need to stop them." "Where could he be?" She asks and I rub my eyes as I take a step forward. "I don't know, Aliya. I don't know, but if I don't wake up to that boy by my side, I will-"

"Don't." She shushes me before I can finish my words. "You shouldn't think that way. I'm sure he's fine."

"Then why isn't he taking my calls? If he's fine, then why's he not responding to my texts?"

"Think positive, babe. Maybe he misplaced his phone." She suggests and I say, "With his car too?"

"I-I don't know what to say, Eva but don't think negatively. Don't do that to yourself. He'll replace his way back to you; believe in that." Her words aren't as convincing as they sound but I take them either way. Aliya stays on the line for a while before there are no more words from her end, and amidst the yawns and the tired voice; I know she must have fallen asleep. When I move the phone from my ear, it's almost eleven and I walk to take a peek through the window before I stride back to the couch.

I take another gulp of my water as I put my gaze on the door, and mumble silently for Emerson Ford to walk through it. He doesn't need to say a word, I just need to see his face at this point.

I take my eyes back to my phone when Hanna crosses my mind but I ignore the thought before I send the message. There's no way he's home; he would have showed up to mine if he were. Deciding to try again, I contact his call and for the first time, it goes from unanswered to unreachable and fear consumes my trembling being as drop after drop of my tears falls to the phone screen.

"Eva. Baby. "I groan, turning to the other side at the sound of the voice. It takes a second before it comes again, "Carson. Look at me." Knowing there's only one person who calls me by that name, I jump out of bed, my eyes wide as they meet the brown ones by my side. He puts on a smile as he drops his hand on my shoulder.

"Emerson? Oh my God. "I move closer to his side and wrap my arms around his neck, throwing my face to the side of his neck to press my lips to the skin. "Where were you? What happened to you? Why didn't you " I'm unable to finish my words as I close my eyes and let his presence calm my raging heart.

"Did I get you worried? I'm so sorry, baby." His soft voice speaks near my ear as he strokes my back, and the words coming from him have me pulling back, a frown taking over my face. "Why didn't you come?"

"I was on my way." He assures me as he moves on the bed completely and takes my hands in his, his thumb caressing the back of my palm as he speaks, "I was. I was on my way to you, Eva. "

"So what happened?" I lift a brow and there's a shift in his bob as he takes a big gulp, his eyes flickering from mine to our hands before he opens his mouth, "I got distracted."

"What?" My confusion is clear from that one word, and Emerson sighs, rocking my hands slowly. "What happened at home?"

"You tell me what happened to you, Emerson. I left tons of messages and calls, and none got a reply. I was so fucking worried when I got home, and didn't meet you here. I was losing my mind, Emerson. What happened? Why did you do that?"

"I'm sorry," he whispers, lowering his gaze from mine. "I'm sorry, Eva. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm just― I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." He keeps repeating and I furrow a brow as I drop one of my hands from his to touch his chin. Lifting his gaze to mine, his eyes are not the usual ones I'm used to. They're warm, but there's a strong emotion that he doesn't let me decipher as he puts a smile on.

"Emerson, "I start in a low voice. "Is there something you want to share with me? Please talk to me."

"Why'd you think that?" He asks and I say, "Because I can feel it. Did you do something? What is it?"

He shakes his head, and I drop my hand from his chin for him to palm my cheek. His thumb soothes the skin as he says, "Did you cry?"

"No." I lie and he chuckles. "You did, Eva. You can't lie to me. Why did you cry?"

"You weren't here. "I tell him, pushing my face into his palm. "I got scared that something bad might have happened. I didn't know where to look to. I didn't know who to call, and that truly scared me. " I hold a hand over his. "Don't do that to me, again. Promise me; promise that you'll never do that to me again."

"Come here." He responds, gesturing for me to move closer and I crawl across the bed and onto his lap. His hands stay at the small of my back as he looks into my eyes, "I'm sorry, baby. "I open my mouth to speak, but Emerson doesn't allow it as he closes his lips over mine. His lips are unhurried against mine. No tongue. No teeth. Just his lips and mine, and it's almost like he's taking his time to savour the taste.

He withdraws after a while and holds his hand over my head as he leans forward to press his lips to my forehead and then he states to back away.

"Where are you going?" I ask Emerson, taking his hand when he tries to slide off the bed and he turns back to me with a bright smile on his face, "I just need to change my clothes. "

"Don't leave me. " I whine and he moves on the bed again, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear as he presses his lips to my cheek. When he pulls back, he says, "I'm not, baby. Come here." I throw a hand around his neck as Emerson carries me from the bed and into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist to steady me as he walks us to his closet.

He takes a few seconds to grab his shirt before he walks to the other corner and he drops me to the desk, caging me in his arms as he lowers his gaze, "I need to get into this, and I can't do that with you in my arms. "

I hum in response to his words and he pats my hair before he takes a step back, and I watch him undress, leaving his boxers on and throwing the new shirt on. He ruffles his hair over his head before he strides back to me and gestures for me to raise my arms. When I do, Emerson removes the sweater I didn't bother taking off along with my bra before he throws me in his shirt.

"Did you eat already?" He asks as I move from the desk to get rid of my pants, tossing them to the side of the room before I answer him, "I don't feel hungry.'

"You didn't eat much before you left for school." He reminds me as he carries me back into his arms, and I drop my head on his shoulder, "I just want to feel you like this; I'm not hungry. Are you?"

"I'm not either, but I do want you to eat. Should I make you something?" He asks as he lowers me on the bed, throwing the blanket over my body before he slides next to me, his arm moving around my shoulder to bring me to his chest. "I'll be quick with it. I don't want you to go to sleep on an empty stomach."

"I think we should just go to sleep. " I tell him and he frowns, "I'm not letting you sleep without dinner, babe. Stay here, I'll go make something.

"No!" I'm quick to object, tossing the blanket from my body and a laugh falls from his lips. "Baby, I'm just going to make food. "

"I'll go with you. "I suggest and he says, "No, I don't want you to come with me. I want you to rest. "

"Emerson, it's either we leave together or we go to sleep. "I tell him sternly and he sighs before he gives in. He grabs my hand as he pulls me out of bed, and we walk out of the room with me hugged to his side.

Emerson walks to the refrigerator when we step into the kitchen while I stand behind him and watch. When he turns back to me, he says, "What should we make? A fast food, right?"

"How about omelet? I love your omelets. "I confess and he throws me a kiss before he turns back to the refrigerator and gathers the necessary ingredients for the meal.

I rush after him as he strolls to the counter and I throw my head on his shoulder, watching as he cracks eggs into the bowl.

"Those are the last set, when are we getting groceries?" I ask Emerson and I angle my head to get a better view of his face when he gives no response. "Emerson?"

"My baby?" He answers as he turns his head to my side with lifted brows and I say, "What are you thinking of?"

"Nothing. Why did you ask?" He says as he turns his attention back to the eggs and I say, "I was asking you when we'll do the groceries.

"Oh, right. We're almost out." He mutters and I nod. "We should get them later. " He pinches my cheek before he turns to get the vegetables. When he returns, I jump on his back with my arms locked around his neck and Emerson laughs as he slides one hand around my thigh to keep me from falling while he works with the other hand.

"Do you think this is enough?" He asks as he shows me the bowl of mixed eggs and I hum. He drops the bowl and moves to the stove, and my lips stretch into a smile as I watch each movement of his hand.

"I'll never get tired of watching you cook. "The words fall out of my mouth without much thought and Emerson gazes at me over his shoulder, "Is that because you love it when you get to do nothing, or do you just genuinely love the meals I make you?"

I lower my head and press my lips to his neck, before I say, "It's because you look sexy when you do it."

"Are you complimenting me, Carson?" He teases me and I respond with, "Do you want me to take it back?"

"No." He shakes his head, tightening his hold. "They're mine to keep. "And he rubs the back of my thighs teasingly, creating tingles and I'm unable to hold back as I laugh and throw my legs to the back. "Careful, baby. I won't be responsible for it if I drop you. "

"You won't. I trust you not to drop me." No long after those words, he repeats the action and the sound of my giggles is loud in the air, taking the space around us along with Emerson's soft laugh.

As the sounds slowly die down and Emerson returns to his cooking while I remain on his back, I know that I'll never let anything take this away from me. Not my father, and definitely not Mason Ford. I don't care what cost comes with that; I just want to be with him for what's left of my life.

When I bring my attention back to Emerson, he's covering the pan and I open my mouth, "Can we watch a movie while we eat that?"

"I thought you wanted to sleep?" He questions and I say, "I'm not feeling so sleepy anymore. Let's watch a movie. "

When he turns his head, I close my lips over his for a short kiss and when I pull back, he smiles and says, "Go for it.

EMERSON.

"

I hold a hand over the headboard as I stare at her in her sleep. A small frown rests on her lips as her eyelids flutter, and she only wraps her arms tighter around me as a groan leaves her lips, and gorgeous blue eyes meet mine, head tilting to the back a bit to take in my features.

Even with the clear exhaustion on her face, she remains the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on.

"Morning." I smile at her and it's as if my voice gives her the confirmation that I'm right beside her as she matches my smile with one of hers, "Morning. "

"You look tired. "I tell her as I drop my hand to her cheek and she lets out a sigh, "I feel tired. "

"Something happened back home, didn't it?" I ask her and she looks away from me as she moves up a little. When she looks back at me, she says, "Dad got mad cause you didn't show up. It was a mess before I left."

ו"

I got distracted. I was almost there. "I tell her and she lifts a brow, "Distracted by what?"

"My brother. He called, and we talked about things. I was on my way to you then I just lost it, and had to take a pause. I didn't realize it was getting darker or my phone has been ringing until it got late because placed it on silent. I'm sorry I screwed it up, Eva. I know how much it means to you. "I say and she shakes her head, "It's as important to you as it is to me, and it's proving harder than I thought, but we can always try again. Why didn't you come to replace me? I would have left my parents to come to you. We're each other's home, aren't we?"

"We are, baby. We are. " I whisper, my chest falling in a sigh and she says, "Come to your home next time."

"I will. " I smile as I lower my head to press my lips to her chin before I say, "Do you want to go make breakfast? I feel famished. "I tell her and she groans, "I don't want to get out of bed. "

"We have classes today, babe, "I remind her and she blinks twice, pushing her lips forward as she mumbles, "Can we not go? I just want to lay here in your arms."

I smile. "Of course, we can have that, baby. We should have that. "

"Stay. Here. Me. You." There's a pause between each word as she moves closer, bringing her warmth with her and I drop a hand over her waist while the other stays at the back of her head. "You'll get through it. We'll be fine. " I assure her and she hums, nudging her head against my chest while I stroke her hair with thoughts racing through my mind.

I don't want to do this, Eva. I don't want to do this to us. I don't want to do this to me; not now. I don't want to do this to you.