Heart Of A Lycan King
Chapter 16

NATASHA.

“Hey Nala,” his voice drifted swiftly into my ears. I froze for a moment, then the loud pounding in my heart began.

My heart skipped a beat. Then it started galloping. Then it slowed down to a crawl. And then I felt my b***d pulsate in my chest. Hard and fast. In the span of a microsecond my entire brain burst into flames, and then crumbled into ashes.

“Nala?” I heard him whisper, bringing me out of my reverie. This was the second time I was talking to him today, but the effects his voice has on me still hits hard each time he speaks.

“Mama is…she’s with the doctor,” I mumbled, looking over to where Mama sat just a bit beside me with a large grin on her face. She nodded her head, as though encouraging me to continue with the lie.

“The doctor? Are you already at the hospital?” he asked, his voice sounding as though he was closer.

“Yes. Mama got a call and Donald drove us here. She said she’d call you after she had seen the doctor and then you…you called,” I finished.

He chuckled, a deep throaty chuckle that set my insides on fire, and just for a tiniest moment, I saw a flash of myself pressed against him as I kissed him yesterday.

“I’m glad I did. I needed to hear your voice but was worried you wouldn’t like me to call after every few hours. But I’m glad you picked Mama’s call now. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” I replied quickly, trying to mask the flush on my cheeks as Mama looked at me with an amuse expression in her eyes.

She found this amusing, and for the love of the Goddess, I don’t know why I had agreed to do this when she told me to.

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes at most. Wait for me at the private reception with Mama, okay?”

“Sure,” I murmured, eager to slip the phone off my ear so the crazy wild images running through my mind would vanish. And perhaps, Mama would stop looking at me as though I had wet my pants right before her.

Or maybe I did? Because listening to his voice right now was certainly doing things to me. Terrible tremors. Insane urges.

“I’ll see you soon,” he mumbled, a bit throaty as well.

“Well, that went well, didn’t it, my child?” Mama asked with a wide grin. “See? It wasn’t too hard talking to your mate, was it?” she continued, searching my eyes for the answer.

“It wasn’t,” I replied quietly while a different response filled my mind. ‘It certainly wasn’t hard, Mama. But I’m not ready for these foreign feelings threatening to take over my sanity. Plus, I make everything awkward,’ I wanted to add.

“You don’t have to be scared of him. Aiden would never hurt you,” she whispered, taking my hands into hers. “I’m not trying to force you to accept him, I just want you to learn to open your heart just a bit, trust me, it does wonders.” Then she stood up, adjusted her head gear and looked at Donald, who was sitting across from me. “I’ll go see Phil before he arrives. Keep her company, okay?”

Donald simply nodded.

We had arrived at the hospital just ten minutes ago after Doctor Phil had called Mama. At first, I was skeptical of coming, in all honesty, I do not think I need the therapy or anything else they might think I want. But after a few talks with Mama, I agreed and Donald drove us to the hospital.

Doctor Phil led us to a room down the ward with a bold sign written ‘Private Royal Ward.’ The room was furnished lightly with a three settee cushioned chair and one single settee. A coffee table and a small fridge at the far end. My tummy was still full from Mama’s morning meal that I skipped her offer for lunch, especially since I wasn’t used to eating three square meals.

As I watched her leave, closing the door softly behind her, I leaned my head against the chair, and closed my eyes. I couldn’t help recalling how she had pleaded with me moments ago to pick Aiden’s call instead of her. According to her, she knew he wanted to talk to me but didn’t want to overwhelm me, and so, she asked if it wasn’t too much as I wouldn’t mind picking the call.

I have to give her some accolades for that, because truth be told, I also wanted to hear from him, but didn’t want to accept that I did. If anything, I’m certain I would only end up disappointing myself. Nothing about this seems to be something that would last forever, perhaps, I may be tossed aside once they figure how useless I am. Or maybe, when the curse finally embraces me.

‘Natasha!’ Erin hissed.

‘What? I’m just trying to be realistic!’ I hissed back.

‘Well stop. That isn’t going to be our reality, this will be. Start learning to accept it,’ she grumbled.

I ignored her, focusing my attention outside the single window in the room with its curtains drawn. The hospital was buzzing with activity as patients were brought in. I could see the urgency outside, as men and women in white gowns run or walk fast.

“Will those scars ever heal?” I suddenly heard Donald say. I swept my gaze towards him, and found that his eyes were pinned on my wrist. Although I still had the shawl wrapped around me, it was impossible to always remember to cover my wrists with it.

I should’ve changed the dress before we left.

“I don’t know,” I replied truthfully. “And to tell you the truth, I really do not care,” I added, staring at the scar. “I’m just ashamed of them,” I mumbled as I tried to hide them again.

“You shouldn’t be though,” he replied quietly, not moving from where he sat. “Those scars are a part of you, and while they do not identify you, they give you a reason to fight,” he finished.

“To fight what?” I asked, my brows knitting in confusion.

“Fight the demons within you,” he replied grinning.

I stared at him, not blinking at first before a small smile danced on my lips.

“You should smile more often. It fits and radiate your face,”

I scoffed, but it was impossible to hide how shy his words made me feel.

I was about to reply when his phone buzzed, and I watched as he smiled.

“Hey, Lace,” he said.

I didn’t know what she said but I saw him sigh, then he shook his head before he stood up, waved at me and pulled the door open, then closed it behind him.

I was left all alone, with so many thoughts drifting through my mind. First, it was the thought of how awkward seeing Aiden would be after what I had done yesterday, albeit me not being in my right senses. And two, how my encounter with the therapist would be like.

However, I couldn’t help feeling a small smile when I recalled the picture of Aiden with the cake smudge I had hidden. Perhaps, one day, I may tease him with it.

One day…

‘Want to know something?’ Erin’s voice filled my mind, cutting me off my thoughts.

‘What?’ I asked absentmindedly.

‘You know you asked why I was so open to accepting this now, right?’ she said.

‘I did,’ I mumbled. ‘What does that have to do with this situation now?’

‘Well, here’s the thing. You took all the beatings, the pain, the emotional damage. During that time, the only goal I had in mind was to save you, to protect you, which I couldn’t. So I did the only thing I could,’ she said.

‘Erin…’

‘Let me finish, Nat,’ she chided. ‘Because I couldn’t protect, nor was I strong enough to withstand all the pain with you, I focused my attention on healing you from within. It may have been little, but that was the one thing I had set on my mind. I wish I could erase those scars from your body, or heal them completely and have them disappear. But I can only do so much with silver, and for that, I apologize, Nat.’

‘Erin…’

‘I was so overwhelmed with all that, that I didn’t care about anything anymore. Most times, I tend to block you off when you need me the most, but know that it was never intentional. I mostly do that because I’m ashamed of myself. I should have been strong enough to fight for us. But I couldn’t. I stead, I mostly hid in the darkest depths of your thoughts and questioned myself. Question my existence. Most times, I wonder if I’m truly a cursed wolf, and my curse is affecting you. That I am making you suffer on my behalf. And after the rejection with Matteo, I thought that was the end of it for us. However, Aiden came when we least expected, and I was gobsmacked in the guts, unable to understand what was going on,’ she rambled.

‘Erin I…’

‘At first, I didn’t know how to react except to bring out my defense mechanism, which was the dark thoughts I had hidden. I also didn’t want to believe this was something that could work out because I never thought it would. But trust me when I say I feel the safest around Aiden now. It might all be new to you as it was to me, but I was easy to accept this because you took all of it for us. Because you endured it. Now you understand why I have accepted this. It’s because I’ve realized that regardless of the damage done to us, we are still us, and we deserve to be happy like everyone else.’ She continued.

Yes, we are still us. That much is already evident. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that we aren’t just as good. Erin may have believed we do deserve happiness right now, but to be sincere, I’m not exactly sure about that.

I was about to reply when a movement outside caught my eyes, and somehow, as though I had been told to keep my eyes fixed, I saw Aiden helping a woman out of the car, with her body unceremoniously leaning into his.

My face contorted with rage and my nostrils flared as I stared at them both, her palm in his. I clenched my fists, and suddenly found myself walking to the window to have a good look at them both.

‘Who’s that b***h holding our mate?’ Erin snarled angrily, almost at the same time as when Aiden looked up and our eyes met.

Time seemed to have slowed as we locked eyes, then his eyes widened after a few seconds before his jaw dropped. I stared back for a few seconds before I turned and walked back to my seat.

I felt numb, the erratic thudding in my heart reminding me why I shouldn’t have trusted this was going to work. Shoulders slumped, a tight squeeze in my chest, and one more look at the scars on my wrist, I lost it all.

My hands flew to my mouth as I covered it, then I sat back on the chair with a heavy thud, allowing the tears to roll down my cheeks. Why does it hurt? Why should it bother me this much? It shouldn’t matter, I mean, why should it matter? It’s not like I care what he does or whom he stays with, in the long run, I had told him I didn’t want to do this.

So why am I sitting down crying right now like the pathetic excuse of the wolfI was?

‘I’m sure it’s not what you think it is. Aiden would never do that to us. I’m certain.’ Erin said, her voice sounding rushed.

Should that have made me feel better? Possibly. If anything however, it made me question if I truly do deserve him.

The loud thud from the door made me look up however, and I found myself looking at a panting Aiden. My mind was highway, way worse than it was seconds ago; more like a garbled mess of thoughts. Really. And yet, sitting there in front of Aiden, the inside of my head went uncharacteristically quiet, and several thoughts stacked themselves neatly into place in my mind.

I could smell him, the woodiness of his shampoo, his body wash, and something dark and good and clean. Powerful.

Perhaps, he was here to let go of me.

I knew I’d never be enough…