Heart Of A Lycan King
Chapter 79

NATASHA.

“You cooked this?” I asked in shock, as I swallowed another handful of the wheat staple and vegetable soup Mav made.

“It’s nothing really,” he shrugged absentmindedly, before he scratched his head and turned away.

“Oh, it is something! Your brother nearly burned down the whole house in his attempt to cook,” I laughed. “Twice!” I added.

“Aiden never liked to cook though. But he’s my first tester every time I try a new recipe.” Mav replied, as he took a seat opposite to mine on the dining table.

“Oh he does like food. That much is already obvious,” I smiled, swallowing another mouthful of the staple. “You’ll have to teach me how to make this soup. I love its texture. Not too watery and not too thick. It allows enough space for the protein and vegetables to connect.”

“Connect indeed,” Mav laughed. “But yeah. I managed to learn a way to balance the soup. I used coco yam to thicken it. But I added only enough to thicken it to a certain degree.”

“I always struggle to replace the balance,” I licked my fingers clean now that I had finished the staple. “What better way to learn than from my brother?” I grinned.

Mav smiled back at me before he began eating his. He had been at our house for over three hours. Tiffany had left to visit her parents because Aiden had planned that again, and Donald was the one who came to pick her up. He still looked a bit sick, but other than that, he was fine. I tried to convince him to let the men Aiden designated for the job take Tiffany, but he insisted he needed some air, and doing that would give him some.

So, I was alone. At least, not until Mav had arrived thirty minutes later with some groceries.

“How about a little show off to my darling sister?” He had said with a grin when I opened the door.

I tried to help, but he insisted he didn’t need it, and had me sit in the living room while he cooked. I used that time to reply to Aiden’s good morning text. Because I had ignored it for three hours, at least, until he sent another one.

Yesterday, after the little game we played together, I slept with a dull ache in my heart. I didn’t only try to mess Aiden’s head with the things I said, but I messed my head as well. Because while the scene was meant for him, it was etched in my head as well.

So, another terrible night without proper sleep: check!

Which was why, when I woke up this morning to a morning text from him, I couldn’t reply. I was afraid the hole I was digging would drown me in its depth and that would make ‘mission crumble Aiden’s walls’ impossible. But after Mav had arrived and he sent another text, I decided to send a reply. Which ended up with us exchanging text messages for over an hour.

Playing truth and dare.

“I’ll wait for you in the living room,” I said as I pushed my chair back and stood up.

“Okay,” Mav replied.

I settled on the two settee sofa, turned the television on and put on a sports channel. However, instead of watching, I pulled my phone out from the pocket of my ankara and scrolled up to the first text we exchanged today.

A- ‘Good morning, Nala.’

A- ‘You have me thinking about you while I was training. Are you still asleep?’

N- ‘Morning Rabin Rai.’

A- ‘You make my heart flutter ten times more than it always does every time you call me that, Nala.’

N- ‘Same way mine does when you call me Nala. How was your night? Slept with that image in your head?’

A- ‘And woke up with it. The image never left since you didn’t replace it with a new one.’

N- ‘Ahh, I see. Do you want me to replace the image?’

A- ‘(Laughing emojis). You’re going to ruin me, Nala.’

N- ‘I beg to differ. You are the one ruining me. Are you done training already?’

A- ‘Yes. Currently taking a one hour break before we resume. Our game is tomorrow so the coach is being extra hard today.’

N- ‘Tell him not to stress my man or he gets it from the queen.’

A- ‘As her majesty wishes. Truth or dare?’

I continued to scroll down, laughing at the silly dares we gave to each other. I don’t know how I managed to do it, but it seems I’ve managed to start breaking down whatever wall Aiden has put up between us. And it made me exceptionally glad that I didn’t let my emotions about what he did guide me, else, the first thing I’d have done after calling him yesterday was yell and snap at him then end the call.

But at some point in our life, we all hit that invincible wall that stops us from moving forward, and we mostly replace ourselves stuck in a single place. And so, we need that push, that gentle push from another person to get out of that hole. Aiden had helped me through mine, and I came out stronger than I ever thought I would.

I should do the same. It was why I chose this approach, and it seems to have worked just how I wanted to. Just like he taught me to trust him, I was teaching him to trust me as well.

I stopped at a part of our conversation that had hit a nerve. I had chosen the truth, and his question was not what I had expected.

A- ‘What do you do when you feel like a failure? Like s**t?’

N- ‘I think of you. Of all the memories we shared. The good and the bad ones of course. And I try to look at the positivity in life and not the negativity.’

A- ‘What happens when that doesn’t help?’

N- ‘I’ll normally let the feeling flow and just accept it. But recently, I’ve learnt that thinking of positive things helps.’

A- ‘I see. That’s a great answer.’

N- ‘Truth or dare?’

A- ‘Truth.’

N- ‘Do you feel like a failure?’

A- ‘I do.’

After a moment, another text.

A- ‘I want to hold you in my arms. Again, I’m sorry for being selfish.’

That part knocked me over and over again. And it made me feel even worse than I already did. My man was hurting too much. But I sensed he didn’t want to continue talking about it so I changed the topic and we continued our game.

My thumb hovered over his picture. The one I had dared him to send after he had told me he needed a shower. Hair wet, water trickling down his bare chest, towel tied on his waist, and a sinful grin that set my insides ablaze. Attached to the picture was a caption.

A- ‘Hot enough for my teasing Queen?’

N- ‘Me? A tease? (Gasps). Oh, you wait till you see how much of a tease I am!’

A- ‘It’s a dare then.’

I recalled how I had rushed to change from the ankara I was wearing, leaving Mav in the kitchen. I tied a single towel over my body and snapped a mirror picture like his. The towel barely covered my thighs, but I secured it enough around my breast, leaving the top a bit visible. I tousled my curly locks around, covering a better part of my face but leaving my mouth visible, where I bit my bottom l*p in an attempt to look seductive.

Well, I didn’t regret doing that. I’ll go to any length possible for my man.

N- ‘I’m not as sexy as someone so it was a struggle to fix this mess. So, dare failed. Maybe next time.’

A- ‘F*****g hell!’

N- ‘What? Do I look that bad?’

A- ‘Nala! That was one heck of a tease!

N- ‘(Laughing emoji). I’ll take that as a compliment.’

There was a few minutes’ interval before he sent a reply.

A- ‘I’m sorry for being a fool. I’ll apologize properly when I return. For now, how about a picture of me pulling my ears and pleading?’

N- ‘That could work. We’ll discuss that when you get back so no worries. Don’t dim the mood by bringing that up. I know you aren’t ready to discuss it.’

I stopped at his last message, my eyes welling up with tears for the second time that afternoon.

A- ‘I love you till the sun dies.’

He had said the words back. In this case, he’d written them. When was the last time he told me that? During the council meeting ten days ago? Not even when I said it during the punishment ritual, or during the phone call and text messages yesterday had he said the words back. But today, without me even saying them first, he said them.

I was slowly getting my man back.

“Are you okay?” Mav tapped on my shoulder from behind.

I dropped my phone beside me and nodded. “I’m fine. Just a bit emotional.” I answered.

Mav looked at me thoughtfully before he took the seat beside me. “You looked like you were about to cry,” he said.

“Don’t mind me. I get overly emotional sometimes,” I laughed. “Thanks for lunch, bro,” I grinned.

“Anything for my sis,” he winked.

“Soooo…we can keep this as our little secret. I promise I won’t tell anyone about it. I’m good at keeping secrets.”

“You are?” His body shook from laughter, as both sides of his cheeks dipped in to produce dimples. “What do you want to know?”

“Who your mate is. Pretty please?” I clasped my hands in front of me and blinked at him rapidly.

Every single emotion on his face instantly vanished, replaced by the cold face of someone who doesn’t want to talk about anything.

“What’s the point of knowing? No one would want a b.astard for a mate after all,” he laughed. The playful aura around him had completely vanished. Replaced by something dark and dangerous.

I knew exactly how that felt. I’ve been there once. At a point where I didn’t feel I deserve anything save for pain. A point where I knew nothing but pain. A point where I was a closed off shell from the world. It was why I understood Aiden, and why I understood what Mav felt right now.

But it didn’t stop the hatred I feel towards Baba to get to me. Maybe hatred is a strong word, but I hate that Baba is responsible for breaking his son this way.

“You don’t say that to a sister who dotes on you. We won’t drag this issue, but this sister here wants you in any way you feel comfortable. Okay?”

He stared at me for a brief moment before he smiled. I have no plans of pushing him to talk about what he doesn’t want to.

“Now about my gift…” I trailed off, changing the topic of discussion.

He chuckled, scratched his head again as his cheeks dipped in. He seems to like scratching his head.

“You seem distracted, and I have a feeling you won’t appreciate the gift right now that you’re focused on my brother’s s.hit,” he replied quietly.

I shifted nervously on my seat, a bitter taste resting on my tongue. I didn’t like that he knew, and I was exceptionally sad that I let my emotions out enough for others to notice. This was my problem with Aiden and I wanted to fix it without anyone replaceing out.

“You knew,” I murmured, shifting my gaze towards the television.

“It’s not like you’re the only one. He’s that way to everyone now,” Mav answered.

“How so?” I asked, furrowing my brows. “It wasn’t just me?”

“No,” Mav shook his head. “He does that every time he feels guilty for something. Or when he feels wronged.”

“So he just blocks everyone and hides all the pain?”

Mav nodded.

“That’s unhealthy,” I heard myself say. I felt it. The way a large part of my heart cracked at the knowledge that Aiden had been doing this for years. It wasn’t just a crack, though. It was a huge gash, one that reaches to the deepest core and squeezes it.

I was not the only one dealing with some stuff, but he was as well. And yet, he set aside all of his issues to be there for me. Besides, ever since he and Dr Lily taught me to express myself, I found it hard to hold back. Which was why it hurts even more now to replace out he had been struggling with something similar.

“This is not the first time he’s done that. I came here to spend some time with you so you can take your mind off him for a few hours. However, I also want to plead with you in his stead. Aiden loves you. Everyone around him knows that. Trust me, you’re not the only one hurting in this, I’m certain he’s hurting as well. This has been his coping mechanism for years and he’s always been like this .

“Growing up, I’ve always seen him this way. Especially when he got hurt during playing and Baba deemed it fit to punish me in his stead. Aiden always punishes himself by shutting off. He doesn’t talk, nor eat, nor show any emotion. It’s like he completely shuts himself down.”

“And that’s just it?”

“Well, mostly. Yes. He may think he’s doing the right thing, at least, that is what his mind tells him. And I think it’s worse because Leo does this with him. Both of them normally go through this so it’s hard to tell if any of them is reasonable enough to know how much they are both hurting.”

“And…how…how…” I tried to ask, but my throat was clogged.

“We always just have to wait till he’s ready to mingle again. Mostly a week or two. Nothing less.”

‘But you got through him in a day, Nat,’ Erin whispered. ‘He’s opening up to you faster than he ever did. You are doing the right thing.’

Yes. I was. But it didn’t make me feel any better. Instead, I was filled with the urge to just see him and reassure him that everything is fine.

‘It doesn’t make me feel better, Erin. I wish I could just hold him and tell him everything is fine.’

‘You made progress with him yesterday and today. You can give him a call later tonight and maybe another date night?’

I liked the idea.

“Right now, I’m sure he’s blaming himself for what happened to Donald and what almost happened to you. He may think this is the best way to keep you safe, at a distance. That way, you won’t always get hurt on his behalf.”

“But I don’t blame him…”

“You’ll have to show him that,” Mav smiled. “And I’m counting on you to help him get rid of this habit. It does not benefit anyone in the end.”

As I sat there, listening to Mav tell me more about Aiden, I came to a decision. And I pray to Nyala for this to work. But before I could speak, Mav beat me to it.

“So, no family around? No one you can remember?”

Oh, that. It sucks that I have no family members around. But what can I do about it when the only family I knew was from my maternal side and now nothing.

“I don’t. But I have you.” I answered, trying to keep the mood light.

“You do,” he said a bit strongly. “You have me and Aiden and Mama. And everyone around us. That will never change. I only asked out of curiosity.”

“That’s fine. It just hurts to know I have no b***d relation around,” I replied with a small smile. “But having you all around makes it bearable.”

“How would you feel if you were to replace one of them?”

I was startled by his question, because I have never thought of that. But now that he asked, I couldn’t help picturing the scene. Me having any of my relatives around.

“I would be happy,” I sniffed, cursing my watery eyes. “I will be very happy.”

Silence stretched between us after my response. To fill it up, I decided to ask Mav what I wanted to do a few minutes ago.

“Mav, can you help me do something a bit crazy, please?”