Heart Of A Lycan King
Chapter 98

AIDEN.

I hate silence.

No, not the normal comfortable silence you ease into, but the nerve damaging silence that flushes down all sorts of thoughts through your brain. The type that continuously gnaws at you raw, while you stare at your s**t screaming to your face? Yeah, that.

That kinda silence is the one I hate. The one that sucks.

It was the same silence reigning in the car as I drove Mav back to his lodge. He wasn’t looking at me, no matter how hard I tried to catch a glimpse of him, he didn’t allow it to happen.

Ever since I mentioned Sherneil being his mate, which was totally a guess as I had no idea, he’s been closed off. Completely. His once playful aura turned sour immediately, and I could see how he struggled to continue laughing with Nana before he finally decided to leave.

He was hurting, so much so that I was hurting too. But if he doesn’t let me in, I can’t help.

“Sooo…”

“I don’t want to talk about my mate, Aiden,” his gruff tone cut me off the moment I started to speak.

“I wasn’t going to talk about her,” I replied quickly, my brain was already spinning for something to say. “I was going to ask what your plans are now that you’ve returned…”

“I’m not staying,” he cuts me off again.

F**k it!

I hit on the brakes and brought the car to a stop by the roadside. I exhaled in and out, working to calm my breathing. If it was a few weeks back, I’d have felt the stinging pain in my back. But it was gone now, and there was nothing. It was as though I never had it.

“My burn mark has disappeared,” I finally said, and Mav turned instantly to face me, his eyes lighting up.

“Are you serious?” He exclaimed, his eyes shone with hope and fear. “You don’t have it anymore? No more pain?”

I nodded, and a forceful jerk pulled at my heart when he sighed heavily.

“Oh thank you, Nyala. Thank you so much.”

It was obvious how much he had been blaming himself for the burn, and I knew my brother enough to know how much that had been disturbing him.

“You know it was never your fault, right?”

“Aiden…”

“I mean, I was the one who stepped into the barrier, and it was a mark they gave me. It wasn’t as though you deliberately poured the content on my back and…”

“I saw them coming though,” he said in a muffled choked voice. “I saw the whirls of the shadows coming but I was too angry to warn you. In my head, I kept telling myself you’ll get scared and stop yelling. But look what happened,” he covered his face with both of his palms and sucked in another long breath.

The confession didn’t make me feel any less of the love I have for my brother.

“It wasn’t deliberate, and I’m sure if you knew that would’ve happened, you’d have spoken up, so no hard feelings…”

“Don’t you get it?” He yelled. Now, he wasn’t hiding, he was facing me square in the face, his eyes red and glowing. “There were days I silently prayed you’d disappear so Baba would look at me. There were days I wished you never existed so I could at least get a share of the love Baba showered you with. There are days I prayed silently to Nyala to take you away. I was that selfish, Aiden. I was that much of a b.astard. It is no wonder that no one wants to ever have something to do with me. Not even my mother.”

I sat in my seat unable to move or say anything. I was simply trying to process what Mav had said. Which was valid.

His feelings were valid, and I’m sure, if I were in his shoes, I’d have wished and prayed for all that at some point. I would’ve probably done worse. Baba’s affection towards me was shown openly, and he made sure to always shove that to Mav’s face, always reminding him he was unwanted. And how much he regrets giving birth to him. Baba never hesitates to tell Mav that he was keeping him only because Mama had threatened to leave the moment he sent him away.

Yet, that didn’t stop Baba. At the end, he still sent him away. Made him a rogue.

“I don’t hate you, Mav.” I finally said, and I heard his sharp exhale. “I know what you are trying to do, but more than anyone, I know how much you adore and love this brother of yours. Your thoughts are valid, Mav, after all, we aren’t perfect. Some days, we have those kind of thoughts not because we want to, but because the situation puts us into it. Regardless of what you’ll say, or how much you’ll try to convince me you’re bad, I’ll never believe that. A bad person wouldn’t go to the length you went for Nala. And that alone, let’s assume it is the only good thing you’ve ever done, says a lot about you.”

This time, the silence that settled in wasn’t as uncomfortable as it was before.

“Remember the first time I watched you shift?” Mav suddenly said. “I had shifted six months before you did, so I met Leo first and we were always together. The first day you shifted to your human form, you couldn’t walk for hours, and I found it interesting to carry you around, even if I couldn’t lift you up completely.”

I laughed at the memory, even if I couldn’t recall it. I was just three years old, and that may have been my first shift, but we hardly remember what it felt like because our mothers carry a better part of the pain. After our first shift, we don’t shift again till we turn six. So I consider that my first shift.

Mav remembered that and how it felt because it was one of his gifts. Memories. He can stir memories in someone and he hardly ever forgets his.

“Did Mama scold you?” I asked.

“No. She encouraged me to teach you to walk, and I recalled how I found you sticks to walk with,” Mav answered, laughing. “You were a sight to see. Holding two sticks with both hands, and taking one step at a time every time I clapped my hands.”

“That sounds embarrassing,” I winced, covering my eyes from the headlights of a car that just passed us.

“Trust me, you looked ridiculous, but I loved every moment of that.”

“Way more than the first time we met Donald and David?” The twins’ father, who was Baba’s cousin, married before Baba in hopes of getting the throne passed to him. After the birth of the twins, as Aunt Vivian had told the story to us, he left and never returned. Baba took care of the twins, because one, they were the children of his cousin, and two, the nephews of his wife. He married a few weeks after they were born. The twins are older than Mav by a year, and me by a year and six months.

“That was absolute chaos,” Mav’s body shook with laughter. “I can’t believe Baba let us off the hook for breaking his ceremonial staff.”

“You broke it though.” I chuckled.

“I did? I thought you did?”

“Well, maybe I did and my older brother decided to take the blame,” I said quietly. “See, you’ve always cared about me right from the start.”

Mav didn’t speak after that.

“I know you’re hurting, and what Baba did to you is unfair,” I’m not about to tell him that I had spoken to Baba about this, or that I had threatened to also leave anytime he treats Mav differently. I don’t care about the throne, I’ll step down if I need to but I won’t watch my brother hurt anymore. “And that’s fine. But don’t shun away your mate.”

“Who wants a b.astard for a mate?” He growled. “She doesn’t deserve someone like me.”

“Don’t f*****g tell me you rejected her!” I thundered.

He turned his head to the side, his fingers tapping his bottom l*p. “I didn’t. And I should’ve done that…”

“I’ll make you regret that the moment you try it, Maverick. I don’t care that you are older than me, but the moment you let those sick thoughts into your head to control you enough to make you reject your mate, you’ll replace yourself a new brother!”

“Is that a threat?”

“Anyway you want to take it.”

“Trust me, Aiden, she also doesn’t want me. She looked at me blankly when I went to meet her, and I wasn’t blocking the bond then. It was like she didn’t get it. And when I finally explained what I wanted, for us to forget being mates, she simply nodded. She asked me only one question: Why forget it when we can simply reject each other. And the thought of rejecting her made me sick to the guts!”

“Well, what did you expect? For her to kneel and beg you not to go? For you to accept her? Take her in? If you don’t want her, why stick to the bond? Her question was valid!” I snapped.

I know I was being harsh on him, but I need him back to his senses.

“She’s not ready for someone like me…”

“Only because you didn’t give her the chance to!”

“She didn’t care, Aiden. She didn’t care one bit when I said I don’t want this, and that no one should replace out and…”

“That is because Sherneil is…” I trailed off, shutting my eyes. It’s not in my place to share her personal information, especially not to someone who thinks he doesn’t deserve her. “Is that why you want to leave?”

“No,” he sighed. “I work there as a private detective. I’m sure my mother isn’t in this kingdom, else I’d have found her already. So I guess she may be there, hence why I decided to move there after Baba has…you know…” he trailed off.

“I can take you back if you’d allow me, and…”

“There’s no point. I don’t want it, Aiden. At least, not now.”

“So, you’re just going to run away from your mate?”

“No, I’m giving us space to understand each other. To decide if we truly want this. Without the effects of the mate bond.”

“And how would you do that when you’re leaving? Will you come visit her?”

He shook his head.

“Bloody h.ell! Maverick, don’t you think you’re being unfair to her?”

“I told you she doesn’t want this either. It’s better if I give her some space.”

“I see,” I murmured quietly, then after a while, I spoke again. “Let me have your phone.”

He unlocked it and handed it to me with no questions. I pulled out my phone and searched for Sherneil’s contact, before I typed in the number into Mav’s phone and handed it back to him.

“Make sure you keep in contact with her. I’ve been taught the value of communication, and I’ll be damned if I watch you ruin your relationship because of that.”

“Will you keep her safe for me?”

“You bet I would without questions, Mav. Always.” I smiled sadly. “And the pain of the bond…the pull…”

“She’ll hardly feel it. I blocked it off completely, enough for her to not feel the hurt. It’s as though she doesn’t have a bastard man for a mate so she won’t feel anything, not until I open it up.”

“So the bastard of a mate is going to take in all the pain. ALONE,” I stretched on the last part, and he winced.

“I can handle it. I deserve the pain, Aiden, trust me. It is my language.”

“No one deserves pain though.”

“I do. Baba believes I do for wrecking his family so I’ll take it all. Every single pain thrown at me. It’s okay, don’t worry.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, because that f*****g hurts!

‘I wish I could talk to Amadi,’ Leo murmured. ‘With him being rogue now, we have no connection unlike you and Mav.’

“Leo sends his regards to Amadi.”

“He hardly ever talks to me,” Mav laughed quietly. “He only does when he’s totally pissed, so, yeah.”

“He’s still dealing with the pain of being a rogue. I can end it, Maverick. If you’d only let me…”

“I already said no!” Mav snapped, growling at me.

A beat passed before I spoke again. “Is Amadi also on board with leaving your mate? Blocking off the bond and enduring the pain alone?”

Mav simply nodded. If Amadi is on board, it’ll be harder to convince them otherwise, because Amadi is a stubborn Lycan, way more stubborn than any Lycan I had ever met.

“You do know she may decide to have some quality time with another man and…”

He growled loudly, the car shaking in process and I knew instantly that it was Amadi. “That’s fine,” Mav said in a strange voice. “If she likes him, I’ll just let her go.”

“And suck in the pain alone. Again.”

“It doesn’t matter.” After a while, he continued. “I appreciate your efforts, Aiden. But I’ve made up my mind. I’ll be leaving in two days and that’s it. But I’ll keep in contact, and I’ll always go to your matches. Maybe I just need some time to reflect and who knows,” he shrugged, “I may get back to my senses then.”

“Let’s just hope it won’t be too late,” I grumbled, starting the car.

Knowing Mav, since he’s already made up his mind, it’ll be hard to dissuade him. But he’s going to keep in contact, and that is one way to make him see reason.

And I’m going to do that. I’m going to make my brother see reason, and one day, I’ll probably hold a child of his and Sherneil’s.