Hearts On Fire
Chapter 27:

Azar: “Are you okay, doll?”

Amaya: “I just rejected your proposal and you're asking me if I'm okay?”

In Azar’s head: For days I've been thinking of what should be the perfect gift for Amaya's birthday. I was planning to throw a big party, invite all the pack members like we always do on this day every year because it's my birthday too but I knew she grew up completely different and I knew she has nothing but painful memories from her past. Thankfully, Miranda was there to guide me not to organize anything because it would only trigger her so I didn't. I couldn't just leave this day pass without anything. I wanted it to be the two of us and the idea of proposing to her came to mind. I was ecstatic. I was certain she'd say yes because why wouldn't she? I knew her feelings for me were as strong as mine for her yet she said no. Why? I felt my heartbreak and after asking her if she was okay, I couldn't utter anything else.

In Amaya’s head: Azar took me to the most beautiful place I've ever seen. It was more beautiful than the lake he took me for our first date. It was great. I was in my own bubble of joy forgetting about the past. Thinking nothing can ruin this day for me but how long was I. It wasn't Azar who ruined it…I did. I watched in complete shock as he got on one knee and took out a small velvet box from his pocket. Everything around me became blurry. I could see a diamond ring and how it was shining in the sun. I was completely petrified. I could barely hear what Azar was saying. Then his words started echoing inside my head. ‘Marry me, my little flame’? Marry him? Moments passed and I couldn't say anything. After he asked me again, encouraging me to say something…I said no and just like that with one word I ruined everything. I destroyed everything we had. Azar stood up and asked me if I'm okay. Always selfless, always putting me first. Even after what I've done. My gaze fell to the floor. I just couldn't look up and look him in the eyes. I was ashamed and I was afraid of what I'd see. We stood there in complete silence. He was still holding the ring in his hand. He was gripping it and I wondered how it didn't shatter into pieces. I hurt him. Even though all I wanted to do was run away and hide somewhere and cry for days. He needs to hear my explanation.

Amaya: “Azar?”

Azar: “Yes?”

Amaya: “I'm sorry, please don't be like that. I can see it in your eyes how broken you are. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.”

Azar: “It’s okay, doll. I'm okay.”

Amaya: “Stop lying. You can't lie to me, I know you.”

Azar: “Don't worry about me, just don't cry.”

Amaya: “Why are you so good to me? How can you be so concerned for me after what I've just done?”

Azar: “Because you're my mate and because I love you…no matter what you do. You can do no wrong in my eyes.”

Amaya: “I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I'm so sorry.”

Azar: “There's no need to apologize, I'm sorry. I know this day brings you so many painful memories, I shouldn't do anything.”

Amaya: “No!! It's not that.”

Azar: “Shh…you don't need to say anything. just calm down.”

In Azar’s head: It was true, I was hurt that she didn't say yes and so was Blaise. He was howling and squealing. Ready to take over and take us somewhere far away from here but we both knew better. I know Amaya's heart and I can feel her love every second of the day. That's something that I'll never doubt. I knew the real reason for her saying no was something else. Something more deep. She didn't have to say a word. I understood it. She feels like she's worthless. That she's not good enough for me. That she doesn't deserve me. I was so mad that her own family made her feel this way. It all went straight to her head and buried so deep that even now she can't free herself from those words. Tears on her beautiful face hurt me more than anything else in this world. I was wrong. I should’ve waited for a better time but it doesn't matter. All that's important is that she needs to be okay. As I held her in my embrace her whole body was shaking. I swear her crying was tearing my soul into pieces. Her eyes were falling one after the other and I knew I couldn't do anything to stop her. She needs to cry it all out. Let her pain. She was too brave for too long so I just held her.

In Amaya’s head: Feeling like I was choking I didn't know what to do but run straight into his arms. Even though I hurt him, he was still trying to put his strong face on and act like nothing happened. His eyes were filled with concern, it only proved my point more. How can I say yes to this man? Even though my whole heart was aching to do so I couldn't. I'm not good enough for him. I knew why he was doing this…protect me more. Make me feel more secure. How stupid am I? He held me like he was holding his whole world in his arms and it was true. I knew I'm his whole world…is everything and he was mine. I buried my face in his chest as my tears were soaking his shirt. He didn't mind. He kept holding me slowly caressing my hair trying to soothe me and comfort me. Even now after everything. Just when I started to calm down I began to feel worse. Realization hit me like a ton of bricks. this man that loves me more than his own life, my mate, the man that I love more than anything…he proposed to me. he really did and I said no. Now tears were flowing like a river and there was no stopping it anymore. We were both completely silent for God knows how long. Our souls were so connected since the day we were born and most probably even before that. Our bond only became stronger after we gave ourselves to each other for the first time. Now no words were needed. I knew he could feel me. I knew he understood everything but I regretted it so much. I let fear and doubts cloud my mind once again.

Amaya: “Will you forgive me?”

Azar: “I told you, doll…there's nothing to forgive.”

Amaya: “You see…that only proves that I'm right. I'm not good and I never will be. I don't deserve someone like you.”

Azar: “That's far from the truth. I just wish you could see yourself how I see you. How you truly are just for one second. Then you’d realize that you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

Amaya: “I know you understand but I'll understand if you wanna reject me after this.”

Azar: “How could you say something like that? Me to reject you? Never. You're mine and that's how it’ll stay forever. I told you this before. We’re joined in life and death. Look at me, doll. I know why you said no. I know all of your fears and your doubts. I know you believe you're not good enough but you're my everything and nothing can change that. I just wanted to show you…prove to you that when I say forever, I mean it. I know how hard it is to trust someone. I know how hard it is for you to even let me in. Especially because I didn't mark you yet. You don't want to admit it or say it but I know you like I know myself. There's a small voice inside your head always telling you that maybe I didn't mark you yet because I don't actually want to spend my life with you. That I'll change my mind. That you'll become boring to me and I'll just throw you away. You feel my love for you and I hate myself for not marking you but I just can't…not yet. I can't imagine doing something that will cause you pain…or even worse. You worry if you'll be able to give me pups. You're scared of what my family will think. What my pack will think. I know It all. I know everything that clouds your mind even when you put the brightest smile on your face. Of course I propose to you out of pure love but I also wanted to do it so that you can finally have some peace so that when the day of me taking over the pack comes you can be proud and walk by my side with your head up. marked or not. You’ll be my wife and you’ll finally realize that nothing could tear us apart and that I'll never leave you, that I'll never turn my back on you, that I'll never stop loving you. That I'll never stop fighting for you against the whole world if I have to. I don't care, no matter what happens I'll always love you with everything I have inside me.”

Amaya: “I can't believe this, I'm so sorry for hurting you. I promise I wanted to explain. I wanted to say that I didn't mean to reject you but I guess you already know it all.”

Azar: “How many times do I have to say this for you to realize that it's true?”

Amaya: “I'm sorry.”

Azar: “No. Don't…I'll spend eternity repeating to you how much I love you. I'll repeat it over and over again. My little flame…you're my mate. My soulmate, we share a soul. Don't you see? We’re one soul split into two bodies. I was born to love you like no other. To understand you like no one else could. To hold you forever when you laugh and cry. To wipe your tears. To soothe every pain. To hold your hand forever. No matter what.”

Amaya: “I know it all. I wouldn't be able to breathe without you. I wouldn't be able to exist without you. I’d give you my whole life. I can't even imagine the things I would do only to protect you and keep you safe. My home is in your arms. I’ll love you with my whole being until the day I take my last breath.”

Azar: “Those words sound like the most perfect vows…don't you think?”

Amaya: “They do. You always leave me speechless. But this…I'm sorry I ruined your surprise. I was shocked and I started panicking.”

Azar: “You didn't ruin anything. I told you before. We have time, I can wait. I don't wanna rush you into anything.”

Amaya: “I'm an idiot.”

Azar: “You're my idiot.”

Amaya: “This is the part where you should say no, you're not. (both laugh)”

Azar: “That's better. I already missed your little giggle.”

Amaya: “How can I make this right now?”

Azar: “There is a way…”

Amaya: “Yes? (Azar picks up Amaya)”

Azar: “I didn't have time to tell you how much I love the outfit you chose. Especially the easy access it gives me.”

Amaya: “Kiss me.”

Azar: “Uh huh. Not so fast, little flame. You really do deserve a punishment today.”

Amaya: “I accept it.”

Azar: “There's one more place I wanted to show you, let's go. (in a cave with water)”

Amaya: “This place is literally magical.”

Azar: “It really is.”

Amaya: “Thank you.”

Azar: “For what?”

Amaya: “For reacting the way you did. I'm sorry.”

Azar: “Please stop apologizing.”

Amaya: “But I ruined it all.”

Azar: “You didn't.”

Amaya: “I did. I know I did. You did nothing but love me and I said no out of stupidity.”

Azar: “You know it's not too late.”

Amaya: “What?”

Azar: “There's still time if you want to change your mind and say yes instead. You don't have to give me the answer today. Whenever you're ready.”

Amaya: “Yes.”

Azar: “Are you sure?”

Amaya: “More than ever. I wanna marry you, Azar. You're my mate, the love of my life, I wanna be your wife.”

Azar: “So that's a yes then?”

Amaya: “Yes. A million times yes. (they kiss).”

Azar: “I love you.”

Amaya: “I love you too.”