Hell Of A Marriage
Chapter 21

"No, but I think you deserve something more than this and if you don't tell yourself that, you would never care how you get treated. When a man does not love you he isn't bound or obligated to put you first, he'll put himself and his needs first and you have to accept it or deal with it."

Bethany

~

"Where are you?" Bethany demands over the phone, "we are almost leaving and the kids haven't seen you yet."

After waiting and listening for a while, she rolls her eyes. "No don't give me the bullshit excuse called work 'cause we both know that is not it."

"Good better gets your a*s here or I'm gonna have to come and drag it from where ever you are." After the hard threat, she ends the call and turns to me with a mischievous look, "He's on his way."

I give her a sceptical look, as I approach my make-up mirror where she's standing, "Are you sure?"

She grins wickedly, "Well of course! I know Keenan well and if there someone he tries not to get angry, it's me." She answers, "I wish I could just threaten these fats on my skin and have it be how I want though." She sighs sadly as she stares at herself in the mirror in before her.

Although anyone who sees Bethany would consider her mature and yes she is, but most judgement would be based on her size. She isn't the average size, she is twice that size, probably around 180 pounds and I'd like to blame it on the fact that she has had three children, but while I worked with her in the office I heard rumours that it was her keenness to food was the reason she added so much weight.

"You want to lose weight?"

"Yea, but I can't work out, I'm too lazy." She whines out her admission with a silly pout. "Can you believe that Keenan didn't recognise me three weeks ago after seeing me for the first time in four years?" She tells me with a roll of her eyes. "Really?"

She nods, "He was like; where is Bethany momma and who is the woman sitting over there?" She adds, mimicking Keenan deep voice and I chuckle. "I can't blame him, I had to replace something to take the place of John and the food was there." She sits down, "I do regret it though, I just want a place I can go that won't put too much pressure on me and I won't have too much attention."

Losing weight can be a challenge, a very difficult and I may have never been in that position before, but I've seen shows and read true stories of those that had to battle with weight loss. Some give up along the way while others persist until they reach their goal, Bethany doesn't look like a quitter to me, not from everything I've learnt about her today "I'm not sure about the attention, but I can show you to a gym where there will be less pressure on you." and suggest to her.

"Really?" her blue eyes light up with a heartwarming hope as they stare at me through the mirror.

I nod before answering, "Yea."

"Do you know the owner or have you worked out there before." She inquires curiously.

I bite my lips and nod again, "Levi Playa is the owner, he used to be my boyfriend, before I got into this marriage." I answer awkwardly forgetting with my fingers.

"I'm sorry for even asking," she apologizes looking regretful.

I walk over to my bag where I'm sure I kept Levi's business card, "No it's okay, he's one of the nicest people I know and would not pressure you too much." I replace it and bring it to her.

She smiles and collects it. "Thanks, I'll sure check out the gym."

"No problem."

"Uncle!" We hear the voices of the boys call out in glee and we share a glance before Bethany gets up and we walk out of the room.

I see Keenan surrounded by the three warriors and he is bending down to have a close discussion with them. He asks something and Seth answers and Keenan smiles and ruffles his hair lightly.

I smile at how good he seems to be with the boys and wonder if he will ever want to make babies one day.

Stop that vary we know he might, but 98% sure they won't be with you.

I brush the tears that prick at my eyes away and follow behind Bethany who walks over to where Keenan is with her children. He's wearing a grey three-piece suit and a black tie and black pair of shoes. His hair the same way it was when he left this morning, but his face looks worn and his eyes appear tired from much stress and he seems to require much rest.

I wonder how bad his day was that worn him out this much.

"Where have you been?" Bethany who doesn't seem to have taken into account theses little details demands in a little hard tone.

He gets up from the floor and stares at Bethany before replying instead, "Good day to you too." There is a little sarcasm in his voice but his eyes hold an acute grimace.

She rolls her eyes, "I asked a question, you kept us here all day and almost didn't even show up and I hope it's not because you were with another woman."

"Can we talk about this privately?" He asks, his voice pleading and silent.

She stubbornly shakes her head in plain refusal to cooperate with him. "No, you can say whatever you want to say here, after all, she's your wife! So where were you?"

"I was with Rory okay?" he replied with a little angry look on his face as if he isn't supposed to tell, "I had to see him after work.""

"Why?" She asks slowly, the strength of her voice reducing.

From the expression on his face, he looks like he is about to lose the last grip on his nerve and snap at her, "Taylor threw him out of the house." He answers before harshly asking her, "happy now? I wasn't with any woman and like you said I already have a wife." With that, he walks away from us and climbs up the stairs.

She sighs deeply before turning to me, "Sometimes I push him too hard for his own good," her remark comes, breaking the silence Keenan's words seems to have cast us both into. "but I hope you can talk to him about what we talked about earlier okay?" I don't think I can face him and tell him the things she told me earlier about putting myself first, but I just nod. "Okay," I nod quickly, "I try and do that."

She says and kisses me on the cheek, "Goodbye Varisha, take good care of yourself." she murmurs, before walking to her kids.

After seeing them out, I make my way to Keenan's room so I can talk to him and get a little reassurance that he's okay after everything that had happened with his sisters. I knock on the door a few times and I get no response from inside and I realise that it's never going to get opened and I turn the knob and luckily, the door opens. I quietly walk in and I see Keenan laying on the bed with his eyes closed as though in closed meditation, but soon opens his eyes as he senses another presence in the room.

I notice that he's changed from the grey three-piece suit he was wearing and now he's in a white singlet that hugs his body perfectly and a grey boxer with black stripes.

He pulls himself up to a sitting position on the bed covered in peach bed sheets, making those fine muscles he breed bulge as he ushers me to come closer with his large hands and I obey and walk over to him, stopping when I'm just inches away from him. He stretches his hand and pulls me even closer and I lose my balance and collapse on top him and he falls back on the bed.

I try pulling myself up, but his hands tighten around my waist and as I realize how foolish it is to try and fight, I stop trying to and stare at him.

"What's do you want?" He asks, his eyes fixed in mine and his voice low and sensual and his hot breath brushes over my face and my eyes almost shut close, but I force myself to keep them open and not get too comfortable with my current position even though it feels so good.

"I wanted to talk to you." I begin to say, looking around his room and realise I have never really been in his room before.

It looks really big and well arranged and though a lot of things have pointed to this, the organization of his room shows that he likes things in order even though he loses his cool and wrecks them sometimes.

His hands begin to lower from my waist down to my butt and he squeezes me hard and I bite my lips to stop the squeaky sound that almost leaves my hand. "Then talk." He prompts as he releases his grip and begins to fondle my bottom.

His touch weakens my senses and I begin to feel myself give in. "Not when you are touching me like that." I am surprised that I can even reply.

He smirks and fondles my b**t as he grinds us together, "You want me to stop?" he asks, and I know for a fact that he's just teasing me.

I don't want him to stop, not when he is getting hard and I am slowly getting wet, but I need to learn to put myself first, just like Bethany said. "Yea," I answer and he let me go and I pull away from him and get up and he does the same and sits down.

I force myself to the bed stand and lean on it and this makes him chuckle and give me a wary look, "I'm not going to attack you, I'm not that wild even though you are as tempting as hell." he points out as his eyes take in my body and I begin to feel naked under his eyes and knowing that he's already hard doesn't help my sense of reasoning one bit.

She rolls her eyes, "I asked a question, you kept us here all day and almost didn't even show up and I hope it's not because you were with another woman."

"I didn't put Bethany up to say that," I quickly and nervously ramble out and he nods.

"I know you didn't, you are a good girl," he gets up and walks towards me and I begin to step back. "What did she tell you?"

"N-nothing," I stutter, my eyes dimming a little, how did he even know Bethany and I had a talk? Does he have the house wiretapped or something?

Why am I overthinking this? "We just talked about family and the kids."

Okay, can he stop coming closer? He's hard and I can see that through his boxer briefs and that is bad, really bad.

"You are lying and you wanna know how I know that? Because your eyes are saying otherwise." He coos and his finger strokes my cheek lightly and I fight against the feeling to lean in even more.

"Keenan," my words are kisses back into my mouth and I swallow them as he backs me against the wall.

"Tell me what she said." He moans out, biting softly into my lower lips. He releases my lips and his tongue lick over my neck and weakness floods all over my body.

"It's hard to when you are doing that." I point out, my breath going weak and shaky at the end.

"Yea? Well as you already know, I'm hard." He informs and grinds his hips against me to let me feel his need and desire. "We can do so much in three minutes Vary." He mutters as he takes my lips into another deep seducing kiss. "Just tell me how you want this."

I close my eyes and endure the pain of having to resist him and his advances because I know I want him more than anything too. "Keenan," I pull away and walk further away from beside him, trying as much as possible to avoid contact or gaze lock. "We can not keep this up, what -whatever it is we seem to have." I begin to say then realise I'm not saying it the way I should, probably because I didn't even practice the words to say.

"What does that mean?" he asks, his tone demanding an answer and I don't need to see his face to know he's frowning.

I swallow nervously and blink rapidly, "I don't think I can keep this up Keenan, I need to put myself first, think about myself, my heart."

He turns around and leans against the wall and from the corner of the room where be still is, I can barely see his eyes, "And I'm not making you put yourself first?" "That's not what I meant." I deny although it is what I mean if he puts it out plainly.

He steps away from the wall towards me, but I don't step away from him, "No, that's exactly what you meant, this is what Bethany told you isn't it?" "Keenan -"

"Isn't it?!!" He shouts at me and my breath ceases in my throat as I stare at him in fear and utmost surprise.

I haven't seen him snap or lose so much control before and panic grows in me and my legs grow weak and I begin to tremble in fear. I cannot

"Yes." I nod before I can take the next breath, "I don't want to just be someone you come to when your body needs attention or release, I want to mean more than that."

"How you quickly forget I never forced you into any of this." He reminds me and my eyes lower in the admission on my part. He's right this has been my choice all along and blaming him is not fair.

My eyes become blurry and I try to control my emotions, "I admit you didn't, it was my choice but I've seen the error of my decision and I'm taking it all back now." I reply, lifting my chin and staring into his eyes.

"No, you are not!" He says, pulling me closer to him with the helm of my shirt and my body comes in contact with his and his hands grab me by the hips and pull me closer to him bodily.

"Keenan, please Keenan!" I plead, my hand trying to make him let go and fumbling greatly and I suffer the feeling of pain and pleasure, pain because I have to resist him and pleasure because my body wants to give in more than anything. "You want to fight against something? Then fight against your own, lust, need, desire and weakness towards me, fight against this." He locks his lips in mine and fiercely devour my lips with puree hunger and need and I respond. He pulls back to stare at me but I pull him closer and kiss his lips, giving in to my feelings, matching his own needs with mine and his hunger with mine. He pulls off my shirt and pulls me even close and grind his body against mine. "Don't fight it, you want this more than you admit it." He whispers and he trails kisses down my neck. I bite my lips and my eyes close, I may not admit it to him, but I do want this, I want him. And this is a nightmare.