Her Graceful War Song (Carissa Sinclair) -
Chapter 872
Barrett's eyes darkened with sorrow. "I know I've disappointed you, Sebastian. I regret my choices deeply."
"When the Duke of Northwatch's family was choosing a son-in-law, they set the bar so high. Yet, they chose you. Do you know what Madam Sinclair saw in you?"
Barrett's voice got stuck in his throat as Sebastian mentioned his late former mother-in-law.
"I do. She said I was eamest and honest, and that I promised I would never take a concubine.... It was my fault. I broke that promise. I let her down."
"That's part of it,' Sebastian said. "The second reason is that, even though you're the second son, you were willing to shoulder your family's burdens. It showed you had a sense of responsibility. To put it bluntly, it was going to be hard to restore your family's reputation then, and even harder with just you at the helm.
"In the struggle to carve out a future, she believed you would have the same tenacity and focus as the late General Sinclair. People who are solid and responsible act that way. With you managing the outside affairs and Carissa handling the home front, you might not achieve great heights, but securing a military honor and a position in the capital shouldn't be out of reach. While you may not live a life of grandeur, you would at least have stability. What she desired was simply a smooth life for her daughter.
"However, she was mistaken in assessing you through the lens of her worldly experience. Your ancestors were once prominent, but by your father's generation, the family had declined. There was a lack of strict family teachings and a nurturing mother, so you never really gained much experience or encountered significant temptations. Your self-discipline is lacking, and your ability to discern right from wrong is insufficient.
"The burdens you carry are solely the heavy expectations forced upon you by your family, and you yourself wish to bring your family back to its former glory. To be frank, you have talent, but you're not exceptionally gifted.
"If you had taken one step at a time, with General Sullivan and Carissa to assist you, you would have ultimately achieved something worthwhile. While your family may never have returned to the heights of the past, you could have at least carved out a place for yourself.
"When you met Aurora, you were taken aback by her supposed strength as a woman. If only you had more insight, you'd have realized her words were all misguided. When a woman belittles others to elevate herself, she inherently disrespects all women. And after she achieved her success, you were further enamored by her. Back then, Aurora stood out brilliantly among the officers, and you thought Carissa could never compare to her. "Your mistakes stem from your youth, your lack of experience, your muddled thinking, and your blindness to the corrupting influence of wealth. You naively believed you had found true love. At that point, you weren't beyond saving. If you had returned to the capital and had elders to help you analyze your situation, you should have been able to regain your clarity.
"But your mom's short-sightedness led her to repay kindness with cruelty. Instead of comforting Carissa, she oppressed her as her mother-in-law. She tried to force Carissa to give you and Aurora money for the wedding. When that didn't work, she plotted to have you divorce Carissa and seize her dowry.
'Surprisingly, you didn't stop her. Instead, you actively took part in her schemes, and one misstep led to another. When you all acted that way, the dead end was laid out before your mom. It was only because of Amelia that she managed to survive this long."
After finishing his remarks, Sebastian drained his cup and turned to Barrett.
"She should have been long gone, yet she lives on thanks to the devotion of her two daughters-in-law. She should have considered it a blessing. But now, one is no longer part of the family while the other is dead, and that blessing has vanished.
*And you... You're not innocent in this at all. Didn't you realize that some things were fundamentally wrong? You knew they were, yet you still did them. While you may not have committed great evils, the things you've done are utterly repulsive. Because you haven't engaged in truly monstrous acts, you still have a chance to redeem yourself. I hope this heartfelt conversation will wake you up."
Barrett trembled, his face pale.
Each of Sebastian's words struck him like a hammer, forcing him to relive his past mistakes. Step after step, he had gone wrong. Just as Sebastian had said, he did know some things were wrong, but why had he chosen to act that way?
"Go home. There's no need to kneel in this freezing weather. You're the dignified commander of the Crown Guard. Do you have any idea how much trouble you're inviting by kneeling in front of my shop? You're dishonoring General Wyatt, who sacrificed an arm for you."
Barrett felt a deep shame and a dull pain in his heart.
Ultimately, Rebecca was still his mom. He had no choice but to plead once more.
"Sebastian, just one pill. Let her get through this New Year, please?"
"She doesn't deserve it! Sebastian snapped, then gestured to his staff. "Escort him out!"
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