Her Volkovs #Book 4
Chapter 39

Belle's POV

I'm lying in bed while Alexei is on the other side obviously distancing himself from me. Nikolai just got out of the shower, now changing to his nightclothes inside our closet. I then felt Alexei got up from the bed while his brother did not even bother looking at my direction. I just heard a click and then I'm all alone in the room. I did not even have to guess because I know in my heart that they went to Yelena's room. They did not want to be with me. They are so convinced that I cheated on them and made them look like fools in front of their men because I went with Artan on the day that they are remembering her death anniversary-- on the day of my birthday.

I did not go to sleep yet because I waited for them to go to bed thinking that perhaps emotions have subsided and I could ask them the truth about Yelena before I even jump to conclusion and make a decision that could change our lives. I want to give this relationship a chance, no matter how minuscule it might be. We have been through so much and most importantly we have twins to think of. My happiness could go second or even last, I don't care, just as long as I could make sure I put the welfare of my babies first. I do not want them to grow up thinking that their mother did not fight for them and our family. I want to hold on for as long as I can. No matter how painful it is for me to do this.

I lay on my back feeling the emptiness of our bed and the vastness of our room. I have never felt so alone until now. I have never felt like a stranger in this mansion until now. Suddenly, I do not feel like I am home anymore.

I went to our closet to look for my luggage because it contains the things that I can call my own. I undressed and changed into the clothes I brought from Palawi. I then removed every single piece of jewelry I have on my body; the ruby and diamond earrings, the diamond bracelet, the engagement rings, and our wedding rings. I had to wipe my tears as I place them inside a box. I know at this point, I am holding on to a very thin thread in our relationship and quite honestly, I can already see the end.

I woke up the next day around lunch -- still alone in our room except for the wolves on my feet. I took a cold shower to somehow remove the puffiness of my eyes because I cried myself to sleep last night. It fel like one of the longest nights of my life. It was exhausting both physically and mentally and it wasn't helping my pregnancy at all.

I did not expect to see Nikolai and Alexei still in the mansion. They are in the dining hall ready for lunch. Nikolai is still in his house clothes and his robe while Alexei is wearing a casual tee and pants. I did not want to be with them because I know that we are all in no mood to talk to each other. However, Matushka Irene has already noticed me. She waves at me with a smile on her face signaling that I join them. I almost drag my feet going towards the dining hall. I took as much time as I can because I am really in no mood for my husbands right now.

It is the maid who placed the food on my plate and not Nikolai or Alexei, which I did not mind. I do not fancy being treated like a baby anyway. I just signal her to stop as I will be the one to get my own food which I realized was a mistake because Nikolai instantly noticed my hand without the rings.

"You checked in a hotel with the Albanian last night and now you're not wearing our wedding ring. That was fast." Said Nikolai as he folds the newspaper in front of him.

I did not even want to respond so I just removed the napkin from my lap and placed it on my table and excused myself. The moment I stood up from my seat, Alexei with a firm voice exclaimed, "Sit down and eat your food Belle. Stop thinking only about yourself and start acting like you have responsibilities in this family."

I halted and did not know what to say or do. This is the first time that I have been talked down like this by Alexei and Nikolai. Even Matushka looks so surprised by how her sons are treating me. All because I went with Artan on the day that it was supposed to be for Yelana, their most beloved. Everyone on the table is now looking at me in absolute silence.

I did not want to make a scene so I swallowed the lump in my throat as I sit back and not say a single word. Nikolai then signaled the maid to continue putting food on my plate and placed the small platter with my prenatal vitamins on the side.

Matushka spoke to the two in Russian and I can sense that she is arguing with them. This is the first time that I have seen Nikolai and Alexei reason to Matushka ever. They usually just listen to her as she scolds them and still do whatever they want, but never talk back.

"Matushka, it's okay. I will finish my lunch and take my vitamins."

I thought that would somehow pacify the situation but then I notice that one of Nikolai's men whispered to his ear about something as if it's an urgent matter. I instantly got my answer when Amy suddenly appeared holding a cake and balloons with her. She had a beaming smile on her face as she sings happy birthday, oblivious of the tension simmering in the air.

And to make matters worse, my parents came with her bearing presents. I feel like I wanted to puke because of how bad my day has quickly turned. The people in the mansion looked at me like I grew a horn as the realization hit them. It was my birthday yesterday and not one person in the Russian Mafia remembered or even cared.

Matushka got teary eyed, covering her mouth with her hand as she looks at me. I lightly shook my head and mouthed it's okay. Alexei instantly stood from his seat and went to my side while Nikolai attempted to hold my hand.

"Not now please, my parents are here." I said, standing up from my seat to get Ma and Pa.

"Surprise! Belated Happy Birthday B!" Amy said gleefully and kissing me on my cheek. "You probably had so many candles to blow yesterday but this one is equally special because I baked it myself." "Thank you A. What a surprise."

"Uh, you look weird. What's up?" She looks at me and then my husbands. Her eyebrows wrinkled obviously noticing how dumb stricken the rest of the boys are.

"Oh my god! Tell me you knew that it was her birthday yesterday? Tell me you remembered her 27th birthday?!" Amy is already about to explode so I had to do something lest she runs amok and make a scene in front of my parents.

"That is such a silly question A." I quickly answered, grabbing her towards the table.

"Oh thank heavens! That would be awful if you and Alexei forgot her birthday right? Can you imagine? A husband forgetting his wife's birthday? That's probably one of the worst things ever! It's unforgivable." She said with such spite I am not even sure if she's actually innocent or just playing innocent.

"Papa, I did not know you were in New York. I would have sent the plane for you and Mama." Said Nikolai.

"There is no need Nikolai. Mr. Bogdani was generous enough to arrange our travel. He and Amylinda planned this surprise for Arabella." Replied my father.

"We would not miss Ara's birthday for anything. We were coming to the US sans any offer from her friends anyway." Inserted my mother, speaking with her usual soft voice.

Nikolai clenched his jaw every time my parents mention the Albanian Mob Boss, especially when he knew that Artan took charge of the things that they were supposed to do.

"So, how was your celebration yesterday? I am sure you had a huge party for my best friend. Right Nikolai? Alexei?" Asked Amy, this time though her questions are more probing and definitely malicious. Yep. She knows. She knows the whole truth and this is her punishing the two for what they did. I looked at her sternly hoping she would stop but she was already on fire. She probably figured it out herself or Artan told her about it, either way, I have to stop her before things go out of control.

Nikolai was speechless --- and his brother more so. I can see from the corner of my eye that they are still looking at me intently. The awkward silence is lingering in the air so I had to say something. "We had a party yesterday A." I answered, which is technically true because we had a party although it wasn't for me.

"Aww look around, the whole mansion is still brimming with red daisies. B's favorite! I wish I was here. FYI to everyone, we did not celebrate B's birthday yesterday because we thought that she would not be home and she'd be celebrating with you guys and if she were home the General and the family were stranded in Japan." She continued.

At this point, I can't even decipher the expression on the faces of Dimitri, Andrey, Boris, Matushka Irene, most especially Nikolai and Alexei. They look like they have been drenched in cold water. The disapproving look on their faces when I went home late last night now turned into remorse.

This is exactly why I did not want them to know about my birthday anymore. I do not want them to feel bad about missing my birthday.

"Ara?"

"Your mother was asking you something Arabella." Said my father.

"Are you okay B?" Amy asked looking at me worriedly. Even my parents are looking at me with puzzled look on their faces.

"Uh, yah. What was your question ma?"

"I was asking if you attended mass?"

"Yes ma. We went to church in the afternoon." I answered without looking at her eyes. I swear my heart cannot take it anymore if I lie one more time to my parents. Truth is, I do not want my parents to know that Nikolai and Alexei actually forgot about my birthday because of shame. I am ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I am in a relationship grounded upon a lie.

After our small reunion, my parents had to leave because my father was not feeling well. Nikolai offered my parents to stay in the mansion, thankfully my father declined, saying that they have already settled in the hotel. Staying in the mansion is not a good idea because I do not want them to witness how miserable I am right now.

Devon arrived only to fetch my parents. He and my husbands are not necessarily in good terms so I understand his refusal to stay longer in the mansion. The moment he saw me, he instantly knew that something was going on. I told him it wasn't the right time to talk. He said they will be staying in New York for quite a while because my father has to see a cardiologist.

Nikolai and Alexei however insisted on taking my parents back to the hotel. I did not even care or think about it because my mind is already set on the decision I have to make tonight.

Before I went back inside the mansion, Andrey came up to me and handed me an envelope wrapped in gold ribbon.

"Madame, I am sorry but I forgot to give this to you last night. My brother left this for you before he left. It went over my head, I'm really sorry." He said with his thick Russian accent sounding sincerely apologetic.

"It's fine Andrey. Thank you. Is Yuri okay?"

"He's okay. Pardon my cursing but my brother is a tough motherfucker."

"Do you get to see him?" I asked while I open the envelope.

"Sure. He's just around, being an ass to his brother." Andrey replied playfully.

The envelope has a piece of cream-colored stationery inside with words written in calligraphy. It looks like a hall pass but way cooler.

Unlimited access to beard. No brushing of the birthday girl's hair required.

His message instantly put a smile on my face -- my first ever genuine smile for the day. I remember that time I asked to brush his beard and in return he wanted me to brush my hair first. It was embarrassing, to say the least but it was one of our most memorable moments.

Turn to the other side.

When I flipped the paper over I saw the wire transfer receipt to St. Mary's School for abandoned special children in the amount of $100,000.00 from Yuri's personal account.

Oh my goodness. This is honestly one of the best gifts I have ever received. This amount of money will go a very long way for the care and education of our kids at St. Mary's.

I asked Andrey if I can talk to his brother. He thought of it for several seconds before the man gave in.

"Hello. Yuri?"

It took him a while but when he finally answered I felt like I wanted to burst out crying. Perhaps deep in my heart I know I was the reason why he is not in the Mafia anymore. "Belle." He said, his voice feels like he's just behind me, gently calling my name.

"Thank you for this Yuri! You really know your way to my heart." I myself was taken aback by the words that rolled out of my mouth. I just bit my lower lip as I did not know what to say next.

"I must admit, I wasn't sure if you're going to like the beard access." He replied lightheartedly, stirring clear of the awkwardness that was about to happen.

"I do. Your beard is quite phenomenal." I heard him soft chuckle the moment I said the last word. Even Andrey who is listening had a smirk on his face. "I hope you're okay and you're safe Yuri."

"I am from the Volkov Mafia. I should be fine." He paused for a few moments before speaking again, "Belle, about what happened in the boathouse- "

"No. You can say whatever you want to say to me in person. I want to see you before I - "

"Before you-what?"

Before I go back home to Palawi, is what I want say. I just do not trust him enough to keep this to himself if I tell him about it. I know that no matter what, his loyalty will remain with the Russian Mafia, and Nikolai and Alexei are the Russian Mafia.

"Before I completely not forgive you." I continued.

"Belle-"

I ended the call and handed the phone back to Andrey so as not to give him the chance to deny my request.

Andrey: (Turns around while looking at a silhouette by the window in the mansion.) Please tell me you're not going to see her?

Nikolai on the phone with Dimitri. They are in the SUV tailing the car where Belle's parents are riding.

Nikolai: Da'.

Dimitri: You are right Boss, Madame's belongings are already packed. She's prepared to leave.

Nikolai: (Clenches his jaw) Take her things and keep them where she cannot replace them. Tell everyone not to let her leave. If you see the Albanian come to the mansion, shoot at sight. Whatever you do, do not take your eyes off of her until I get home. Alexei and I just need to fix something with the General.

Belle's POV

I was informed that Nikolai and Alexei are on their way back home. He texted me that the three of us will talk things over when they arrive. They thought I did not know that my luggage has suddenly vanished from our closet. At this point, I literally could care less.

I feel like I am looking at the ghost of Yelena as I see myself in the mirror after putting on Yelena's clothes, the exact same dress she's wearing in the picture used in the church service. I wore her make-up and made sure I applied it right to mimic her face. I pinned her hair clip on my hair exactly how she styled it in the picture. All I have to do now is to spray on her perfume to look and feel as close to her as I can.

All this time, it was you Yelena. It was never about me or for me. Nikolai notice me that day because he saw you in me. Alexei fell in love with me because he believes that heaven-sent him someone who resembles you. Matushka accepted me with all her heart because she sees her princess in me. Artan and Aria want me to be in their lives because I will complete their family once again. Every single person in the mansion was so protective of me because in their minds, I am the Yelena to their Bosses, the Yelana in their lives. Axel wants to protect me because I resemble Yelena, his lost love.

I spray on Yelena's perfume before comfortably sitting on the chair directly facing the door. I dialed Nikolai and Alexei's numbers and when they answered I played the video where Yelena was telling Nikolai that she loves him, on repeat in full volume. I did not speak a single word so that the only voice they hear is that of Yelena.

That should do it. I just have to wait for them to come to the room.

I glanced at Yelena's picture on the table as I count the few remaining moments of my life here in the mansion, in the Russian Mafia, as Nikolai Vyacheslav Volkov and Alexei Viktor Volkov's wife.

I thought I could somehow make things work but then I realized that no matter how hard I try, no matter how strong I hold on, I will always stand behind Yelena's shadow. That kind of life is not for me. I am in love but I am no martyr. I am done taking one hit after another.

As expected Nikolai and Alexei came barging in the room like it's a matter of life or death. They halted the moment they saw me stare blankly at them. I then slowly walked towards them, offered my hands and told them to come by the bed.

I looked them in the eyes as I guide both their hands to hold my face. I kissed Nikolai on his cheek to make him smell Yelena's perfume on me and then did the same to Alexei.

The look of longingness in their eyes makes me want to break down and cry. Alexei held my face with both of his hands and kissed me on my lips while Nikolai's arm intertwined around my waist as he stood behind my back. I can feel his breath behind my ear as he slowly kisses the back of my neck down to my shoulder.

I had to catch my breath because I feel like I'm suffocating. This is the confirmation that I needed to see with my own two eyes. This gave me the closure to finally decide to leave.

"I am not your Malyshka." I whispered.

The moment they both heard the last word, they froze and then let go of me like they just got out of a spell. At this point, my eyes welled with tears. I wasn't able to hold it in anymore. My knees are trembling; tears came pouring down knowing fully well that it is indeed over between the three of us.

"Baby, no no no. Listen to me, okay? We need to talk." Nikolai said as he steps forward to hold me.

"Princess, please! I am sorry. Let's talk please?" Said Alexei offering his hand to hold me.

"Stay away from me! Both of you! I don't want to be with you anymore. I don't want to be here anymore!"

"Baby, just calm down. I know this is hard for you but please listen to us first. I love you so much please don't do this."

Nikolai grabbed me around my waist so I pushed him away, "No! You never loved me! You see Yelena in me that's why you noticed me in the first place! You had a relationship with Yelena Nikolai! With your own sister! You sick bastard! And you Alexei, it was always Yelena for you! You just used me! Both of you used me!"

I felt terrified when I noticed Nikolai and Alexei appear stunned while looking at my legs. When I looked down, I realized that there is a thin stream of blood flowing down my legs.☐☐☐☐☐☐