His Christmas List: – Naughty Stories For Your Stocking
His Christmas List: THE CHRISTMAS ANGEL: Chapter 5

We lie in the darkness, a tangled mess of naked skin. It’s late and we’ve been making love for hours, each time I can feel us get a little closer.

My head is on Dylan’s chest, his lips are at my temple and his fingers trail idly up and down my arm. He seems distracted, as if miles away.

“Christmas makes me sad,” he says softly.

I frown, “Why?”

“It reminds me of what I don’t have.”

I kiss his chest and remain silent as I listen.

“When I was a little, I used to pray that the Christmas angel would come and save me and give me a family of my own.”

“You don’t have a family?” I whisper.

He pauses as if getting the wording right in his head, “I was a ward of the state. The government took me from my parents when I was a baby, they were drug addicts. I bounced between foster and group homes until I was old enough to do it on my own.”

My heart constricts, I imagine him as a little boy praying for a Christmas Angel who never came, and my eyes well with tears.

“When you wanted me to decorate the tree…….”

“It’s okay,” I cut him off. “I get it.” I trace my finger on his chest as I try to think of the right thing to say.

“It’s impossible for me to believe that living with my parents could have been worse than the places I grew up.”

I can feel the sadness seeping out of him, it’s overpowering, and suddenly I feel like an entitled princess by getting upset that he didn’t want to decorate a stupid fake tree.

“Your family would have been so proud of you, Dylan. If only they could see how wonderful you turned out,” I whisper into the darkness. “Look at you, you’re a cop.”

I feel him smile above me, “I probably would have busted their ass.”

“Or changed their tire.” I smile.

We fall silent for a while, and I want to change the subject, he doesn’t have to explain himself any longer, I get the whole traumatic picture now, and I don’t want him to think about it.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said to me,” I whisper.

“About what?”

“About living a lie and doing a job I hate.”

“And?”

“And I think you’re right.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, but I’m going to think about going back to school.”

He smiles proudly as he brushes the hair back from my face, “Look at you.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming to replace me tonight.” I kiss him, my lips linger over his. “I feel like I know you a lot better than I actually do.”

“Same.”

I smile broadly, “Maybe we were destined to meet.”

“I don’t believe in destiny, but I am glad that you got a flat tire.”

“I’m glad you had to search my premises.”

He chuckles, “I’m glad about that too.”

I hug him tightly, “This Christmas will be different.”

“I’m working.” He kisses my temple as if to soften the blow. “I always offer to work on Christmas, I’d rather the people with families get the day off.”

I stare at him in the darkness, always putting others first.

“You don’t work all day, do you?”

“I usually do a double shift.”

“Just do the day shift this year and then we can have dinner together.”

“Zoe….. I just,” he cuts himself off. “Trust me, my company is not good on Christmas day.”

“But mine is.” I smile hopefully up at him. “Maybe I can blow you under the tree. Give you some new memories to keep.”

He chuckles, “Now you’re talking.”

I smile as I lie on his chest and eventually, I feel him relax, “Good night my beautiful Dylan,” I whisper.

He kisses my temple, “Goodnight, baby.”

How do you describe the best week of your life….. when you’ve hardly left the house?

It’s the strangest thing, Dylan and I have done nothing special and yet it’s been everything special. We’ve cooked, we’ve laughed, we’ve watched movies. He’s grumbled about Christmas while I put up more decorations.

But more than anything, we’ve listened to each other, and for the first time in a relationship, I feel seen.

My opinion matters. My feelings matter to him, and dear god, how did a man who had such a hard upbringing, turn out to be so beautiful?

He is the opposite of what he should be, or perhaps he’s so good because he takes nothing for granted.

Either way, there’s one thing I know for sure.

It’s him, it’s always been him. Even before we met….. it was always going to be him.

And that’s why tonight, I’m going to the wedding with Rodney to end it forever. I need to walk away with dignity, and a shitty phone call can’t end a six-year relationship, I owe it to myself and his family to end this the right way. In person, with the truth.

“You have that family dinner on tonight, don’t you?” Dylan says as he dries himself.

Guilt fills me, I should tell him. Tell him what…. that I’m going out with my ex. No, I don’t want to make him feel insecure. “Yes, but I’ll be home here by ten, you’re coming over after, aren’t you?”

He kisses me, “Try and stop me.”

I hear the car pull up and I cringe, I just want this night to be over. I really don’t want to go, but I feel that after all these years I owe it to Rodney to finish us forever with dignity.

I’m going to tell him on the way to the wedding that I’ve moved on, and he will tell me he has too, and then hopefully, we can go tonight as friends.

If he doesn’t want to take me as his date, I’ll completely understand. But at least I can hold my head high because I stayed true to my word, I did promise to go with him after all and I’m not one to break plans for something shiny and new.

Dylan is so shiny and new.

“Knock, knock.” Sounds at the door.

I exhale heavily and open it; Rodney’s eyes drop down my body. “Well, hi,” he says all sexy like.

Huh?

“Hi.” I fake a smile.

Oh no, I know that look.

“You look fucking hot.” He steps forward and makes a grab for me, and I take a step back. “What are you doing?”

“Kissing my girl.”

“I’m not your girl, we should get going.”

He leans in to kiss me, and I quickly turn my head, I’m not kissing you.

“Now, now, look who’s playing hard to get,” he teases.

I stare at him, shocked. Is he kidding me right now? It isn’t an act, asshole. Why the fuck am I going to this wedding? I’m beginning to regret it already.

“Hardly,” I fake a smile. “We should go.” I grab my purse and shawl; I walk to the front door as his hungry eyes look me up and down.

Ugh…

How times change; for years I’ve wanted him to look at me like this and now that he is, I don’t want a bar of it.

I just want to see Dylan.

Focus.

Tell Rodney that it’s over, give him an out option of tonight and then call Dylan.

Right, I can do this.

We walk out the front door and look out to his car and stop on the spot.

What?

Rodney’s mother is sitting in the front seat of the car, she waves, and I fake a smile.

What. The. Actual. Hell?

“Your mother is coming with us?”

“Isn’t she your best friend?” he mutters deadpan.

Not tonight, asshole.

I get into the backseat and shuffle over. “Hi Mary.”

“Hello, Zoe, you look lovely.”

“Thanks. So do you.”

Rodney starts the car and pulls out onto the street.

Is this a joke?

I want to talk to him, but I can’t do it in front of his fucking mother.

Unbelievable.

What if I really was planning on this being a romantic get back together night?

Ugh, this is the night from hell already.

I take out my phone and text Dylan.

I wait for a reply, but it doesn’t come. He must be busy.

I really did miss him today, and I smile as I picture his beautiful face. Maybe I should call and ask him to come and pick me up, would that be weird?

Rodney and his mom chat happily in the front seat, and I stare out the window as we drive along.

I have this sick sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I’m feeling guilty for not telling Dylan I was coming here tonight, but I didn’t want him to think the worst. I wouldn’t be happy if he was going to a wedding with his ex.

Fucks sake.

Why is Mary in the damn car?

“The church service is private,” Rodney says.

“Oh, is it?” I reply, distracted. I’m trolling my brain for a plan.

This is not going how I want it to, it’s a nightmare.

“Yeah, only the bridal party and their parents are attending. We are going straight to the reception hall,” he replies.

“Okay, that’s different.”

Good for them, doing what they want to do. An intimate wedding would be nice.

“Rodney told me the exciting news.” Mary smiles over at me from the front seat.

“What news?” I ask.

“That you two are getting back together,” she gushes in an over-excited way. “The future is so bright for you two.”

“What?” My eyes flick to Rodney in the rearview mirror, and he winks.

“Oh….. that’s.” Words fail me. Fuck, all I’ve wanted is for this to happen and now that it is, it’s my worst nightmare. “Rodney and I are just good friends,” I tell her.

“Yeah right,” Rodney laughs, “If you say so.”

“Rodney…..”

“We were always getting back together, babe,” he cuts me off. “Like you said, it was just a break,” he says as he drives along.

“It’s been a long time and things between us have changed.” I fake a smile, take a hint asshole.

“You missed me, I know you did.” He winks all playful-like again.

I did…. but now, I don’t.

Awkward.

What do I do? If I tell him now in front of his mother, I look like a raving bitch.

Shit.

“Zoe is playing hard to get tonight, Mom.” Rodney smiles over at her and then his eyes flick back to me. “It’s kind of a turn on, actually.”

What?

You idiot.

My god, this is going from bad to worse. Okay, what’s the plan?

I begin to sweat.

I think of all the times I’ve cried to his mother about my broken heart and now, when I finally realize that we are not meant to be together, it’s come to this case of the worst timing ever…… oh hell, this looks so bad.

“This is turning out to be the best night, isn’t it?” Mary says happily from the front seat. “Our family is getting back together.”

I fake a smile.

Fuck.

The ballroom is grand and beautifully timeless.

There are huge bouquets of white flowers, candelabras with white candles, and the finest silver dinnerware on the perfectly set tables.

Mary smiles and waves at a friend.

“Wow.” I smile as I look around, “This is beautiful.”

“Meh,” Rodney says as he looks around. “How much would this crap cost?”

“Rodney, it’s a wedding. The most special day in a person’s life,” his mother says.

He rolls his eyes and curls his lip, “I’m not into it.”

I stare at him as I have an out of body experience.

The statement that cements it all.

Everything in Rodney’s life is about Rodney, and all the insecurities I’ve been feeling for years, was just my gut warning me that something wasn’t right.

That he wasn’t the one.

I smile, and for the first time ever, my future feels crystal clear.

Unencumbered.

“Oh, look. There are the guys,” says Rodney. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Okay.”

I watch him walk away to the other side of the room, and I look around at the beautiful room and then I see a familiar figure talking with a group of men.

The blood drains from my face.

Dylan.

What the fuck is he doing here?

He catches sight of me at exactly the same time, and his face lights up in surprise, he makes his way over.

“Hi, baby,” he gushes as he kisses me softly on the lips. He’s wearing a tux.

“What, what….. are you doing here?” I stammer.

“I’m a groomsman, I knew you had a family thing on, I can’t believe it’s the same wedding as mine.”

Oh.

My.

God.

I awkwardly fake a laugh.

“You look breathtaking.” He puts his arm around me and kisses my temple, “I just got your text, I missed you today too,” he whispers in my ear.

“Dylan…”

Oh no.

“Who’s this?” Mary asks.

I swallow the lump in my throat as I look between them.

This can’t be happening.

“This is Dylan. Dylan, this is Mary.”

She fakes a smile as she looks him up and down, she knows something is up by our familiar greeting.

Please earth, swallow me up.

Dylan smiles proudly over at me, and I feel the blood start to drain out of my face.

“You’re in the bridal party?” I ask.

“Sure am.”

“How do you know the groom?” I squeak as I try to think of an escape plan.

“We went to the Police Academy together, been best of friends ever since. What’s your connection?”

I hesitate,

“Dylan,” I hear a familiar voice yell with a laugh.

“Rodney,” Dylan smiles, he and Rodney shake hands.

Oh fuck, it gets worse, they know each other. This can’t be happening.

“This is my mother, Mary, and I see you’ve met my girlfriend, Zoe,” Rodney smiles as he puts his arm around me.

Dylan’s face falls as he looks between the two of us.

“I’m not your girlfriend, Rodney,” I say uncomfortably as I step out of his grip. “We’re friends, we’re just friends,” I stammer in a panic.

Dylan takes a step back as if hit by a physical blow, his eyes flick between the two of us. “So…. you are here together on a date then?” he asks.

“Just as friends,” I snap.

“Now, now,” Rodney smiles. “Zoe and I dated for six years and we’re just getting back together. Aren’t we, Zoe?” He puts his hand around my waist, I inwardly die a little,

Dylan tips his head back and drains his glass. “Excuse me,” he says before rushing out of the room. I stare after him as my heart races in my chest.

“Rodney,” someone calls from behind us, Rodney turns and shakes his hand, and my eyes go to Mary.

“This isn’t how it looks,” I whisper.

She raises an unimpressed eyebrow, “How do you think it looks, Zoe?”

My eyes dart to the door to where Dylan has disappeared, I need to speak to him. “Excuse me,” I say.

I rush out and look around, it’s just on dusk and getting dark.

My heart is hammering hard in my chest.

Where is he?

I walk through the car park over to a Gazebo.

I catch sight of him in the garden staring out over the pond, and I tentatively walk over.

“Dyl?” I say softly, “I can explain.”

“Don’t.”

“He’s my ex, and I was going to tell him tonight that we’re not getting back together and it’s just…… complicated.”

“Okay.” He looks straight ahead, cold and hard, seemingly unaffected.

“What do you mean, okay?” I ask.

“It’s fine, Zoe, go back to your date.”

“What do you mean?” I stammer as I begin to panic. “I’m with you. I just.”

“Have you told him that?”

“I haven’t had a chance to yet, his mother was in the car.”

“Well…. that just sounds like a great family date, doesn’t it?” He smiles sarcastically, “See you around, yeah?” He walks back into the reception area.

“Dylan,” I call, “Can we talk about this?”

“Nothing to talk about.”

“Dylan.”

He disappears into the function center without another word.

I put my head into my hands, “Oh my god.”

I walk back to the ballroom to see Dylan sitting alone at the bridal table and my heart breaks. I can’t talk to him up there and I don’t want him to have to watch me all night while I sit at a table with Rodney and his mother.

What do I do……? What do I do……?

I’m going to leave, I have to. It’s the only way.

I weave through the crowd and up to Rodney, “Can I speak to you for a moment please?”

“I’m talking.” He frowns, annoyed at my interruption.

“Now,” I whisper angrily. Fucks sake don’t give me your crap Rodney, you asshole.

He follows me outside, and I turn to face him. “I’m leaving.”

He screws up his face. “What?”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t feel the same way about you as I used to.”

He stares at me.

“And I shouldn’t have come here tonight, but I wanted to end it as friends.”

“Has Dylan got anything to do with this?”

I stare at him, fuck.

“Why would you say that?” I ask.

“Because my mother just told me that you two were very cozy.”

Mind your business, Mary.

“Actually….. yes. I’m seeing Dylan. It’s very new and unexpected and the good news is that you were right all along, we don’t have that zing anymore.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Zoe?” he explodes. “We love each other,” he cries.

I look around at all the people staring. “Sshh, keep your voice down,” I whisper angrily.

“What… so he doesn’t fucking hear us?”

“Rodney,” I whisper. “This isn’t about Dylan, the truth is that our relationship had run its course a long, long time ago.”

“Bullshit, I’m going to fucking knock him out.”

“Who?” My eyes widen as I connect the dots. “Dylan?” I gasp.

“That’s right.” He goes to march back inside, and I grab his arm. “Are you crazy, don’t be ridiculous, Dylan would kill you in a fight. Have you seen the size of him?”

“Not if I kill him first.”

“Stop it,” I cry.

People really are watching now.

“He can’t have you, Zoe, you belong to me.” He marches off inside.

What the ever-loving fuck?

Oh.

My.

God!

I put my hands over my mouth in horror and take out my phone and call Dylan, I need to warn him that Rodney is acting like a psychopath. Ring ring…. ring, ring….. “Pick up….. pick up.”

No answer.

I dial again and this time it goes straight to voicemail, he’s declined the call.

Fuck.

What the hell do I do?

I have to go, no good can come of my staying here. My presence is just going to escalate everything.

With my heart pounding hard in my chest I walk out the front gates and down the road, and I call an Uber. I stand in the dark as I wait for it, and I can hear the laughter and music in the distance.

Why didn’t Dylan tell me he was in a wedding today?

Why did I come?

Why is Rodney acting like a caveman?

Why am I such a fucking idiot?

The questions are endless.

The Uber pulls up, and I jump into the backseat, “Please, get me out of here.”

I pace back and forth in my kitchen, it’s 12 a.m. and Dylan’s phone is still turned off.

Maybe he’s still at the wedding?

I text him again.

It’s 2 a.m., and no word from Dylan.

I know the wedding is definitely over by now.

Is he out? Is he in jail for killing Rodney? What the hell is going on over there, why hasn’t he got back to me?

I’ll try and call him again; I dial his number.

The number you have called is not available from this service.

Huh?

I dial his number again.

The number you have called is not available from this service.

What? Why am I getting that message?

I type into Google;

why am I getting the message, ‘the number you have called is not available from this service’.

The answer loads.

Your number has been blocked.

The air leaves my lungs, he’s blocked my number.

I try again,

The number you have called is not available from this service.

I screw up my face in tears, “Dylan. Don’t do this.”

I sit at my desk and stare into space.

Life gives out hard lessons, the kind that break your heart.

I’m a broken mess, a shell of who I thought I was.

I think this is my saddest heartbreak because I know I’ve lost something really special.

It’s been five days since Wedding Armageddon and not a single word from Dylan.

He left me.

He left me because I lied, and I really can’t blame him.

And the joke of it is, as connected as we are, I don’t even know where he lives. With my number blocked, I can’t track him at all.

“You coming for Christmas drinks tonight?” Marla asks, interrupting my thoughts.

“Oh…. Umm, no I can’t. I’ve got something on. Sorry.”

“Well, I hope it’s fun.” She hugs me from behind. “I’ve never seen you so flat.”

I fake a smile, “I’m fine.”

I watch on as the office packs up their desks and one by one leave for the office drinks.

I stay seated.

Because if I go home then I’ll just cry, and damn it, Marla is right. I’ve never been so flat.

It’s Christmas Eve.

The twinkling fairy lights light my living room and the carols are on the television.

I wonder what Dylan is doing.

My heart constricts, I was just another person who let him down.

Being sad at Christmas is nothing new to him.

He’s used to it.

I’ve never been so regretful of anything in my entire life, and I just want my mom. I drag a chair over to my Christmas tree and get up and take down the Angel, and I sit back on the couch and stare at her for a long time.

Dylan’s words come back to me, When I was a little, I used to pray that the Christmas angel would come and save me, give me a family of my own.

I run my fingers over the Angel’s wings, “Send me a miracle Mom, tell me what to do.”

Dylan

I slowly pack up my things and make my way toward the door. I’ve lingered as long as I can in the office, it’s time to go home. Well, I’m not going straight home, I’m going to the gym, I’ll run for a few hours on the treadmill. The plan is to be too exhausted to notice that I’m having takeout for Christmas dinner. It worked last year; no doubt it will work this year too.

“Merry Christmas,” I smile to Rowena on the desk as I walk past her.

“Merry Christmas, Dylan.” She smiles warmly, “Big family celebration tonight for you, I guess.”

“Aha,” I lie, “and you?”

“Me too,” she says with a smile, “big family dinner planned.” But her smile doesn’t touch her eyes, and I get the feeling that she’s lying too.

“Have fun.”

“You too.”

I walk down the front steps and through the parking lot to my car and as I get closer, I see someone sitting on the hood of my car.

Zoe.

My step falters, she is the last person I want to see today.

Fuck.

She sits up when she sees me coming, and I drop my head, I don’t even want to look at her.

I can’t.

I unlock my car and throw my bag onto the backseat.

“Hi, Dyl.”

“Hi.” I twist my lips annoyed. “What are you doing here?”

Her face falls and she jumps down from the hood, “I came to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” I snap. “You needn’t have bothered.”

Her eyes search mine. “Can we talk?”

“Nope.” I go to open my car door and she pushes it closed. “Dylan I just went to finish it with him, that’s all. I mean…. we were already broken up, but he wanted to get back together, and I had said that I would go with him for months.”

“So why lie to me?” I yell as I lose control.

Her eyes well with tears. “I was trying to protect your feelings.”

“By lying?”

She angrily wipes a tear as it escapes from her eyes. “I know, this doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t.” I push past her to get into my car, and she steps in front to block me.

“Goodbye, Zoe.”

“Will you listen to me for a moment, you stubborn fuck.” She cries. “The truth is, I was getting back with Rodney and then I met you and everything I thought I wanted wasn’t true anymore.”

I stare at her.

“Because even though I’ve known you for two fucking minutes, I fell in love with you.”

“Don’t.”

“And I know you don’t love me because you wouldn’t have blocked my number if you did. But what if it’s me Dylan?” She hits her chest. “What if it came true? I asked my mom for a sign last night and it came to me. It’s been there in front of us all along.”

I frown in question.

“What if I’m her?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“What if I’m the Christmas Angel that you prayed for to bring you a family of your own.”

I take a step back from her, shocked by her declarations.

“We could have it all, Dyl, love, marriage, a future so bright. A family of your own….. just like you prayed for.” She smiles hopefully.

My nostrils flare as I try to keep it together.

Her teary eyes search mine, “Tell me that you love me too….. please. I’m begging for forgiveness.”

Her silhouette blurs.

“Dylan?”

“I can’t,” I whisper.

Her face falls. “Can’t or won’t.”

I can’t do this.

I push past her and get into my truck, “Goodbye, Zoe.” I start the engine and pull out of the parking lot.

I keep my eyes on the road, I can’t look into the rearview mirror.

I won’t.

Zoe

I carve the turkey; my father and brothers are at my house for dinner. I wanted to have it here this year because I thought Dylan would be coming.

I was wrong.

It’s hard to love someone who’s damaged, it’s even worse to lie to them.

I brought this on myself.

After Dylan left me in the parking lot today, I cried a river and then an ocean.

I really thought………

Knock, knock sounds at the door.

“That will be Rodney,” my father says as he steals a piece of Turkey from my platter. “I knew he’d turn up,” he teases.

I roll my eyes, “He’d better not.” I flick him with the tea towel, “Don’t even say such a thing.”

Turns out, Rodney is a douche, the truth is, he has been sampling every single girl in town. Even my cousin….. just what the hell?

I dodged a bullet with that one, I’m going to push that fucker down the steps. I march to the door and open it in a rush.

“Dylan,” I gasp in surprise.

His eyes search mine, “Hi.” He holds out a bunch of tacky flowers that he’s obviously bought at a gas station.

Hope fills me, “Hi.”

“Can I….” He frowns as he tries to replace the words. “Can I stay for dinner?” he asks softly.

I smile through tears, “You can stay forever.”