His Secret Obsession
Chapter 78

(Asher)

After our seven-hour flight, we finally landed and I swear Emery slept through most of the damn thing..I'm not complaining because she slept on me the whole time and I love just watching her sleep..it's one of my favorite things to do..yeah, creepy I know but I can't help but stare at her. I got us first class and at one point she was lying with her head in my lap because she is so f*****g small and adorable. She just curled right up in her seat and I couldn't help but gaze down at her. Damn, I love this woman so much. I never thought it would be possible to feel this way about someone. I never thought it would happen. Well, maybe I never wanted it to happen.

To be honest, I was always afraid to fall in love...like true raw f*****g love. I have seen what divorce is like firsthand, and how it can affect everyone involved. After my dad left, I realized life wasn't one big fairytale and I lost all hope in happily ever afters. My dad wasn't the best father, I can't honestly even remember one time when we were all happy as a family. It was just constant fighting and arguments from the get-go..my mom wanted to fight for their marriage but my dad had other plans. He moved to a completely different state and once he met his current wife, Jen, it was over and I learned all too soon that I wasn't even a piece of that puzzle.

Oh, don't get me wrong, in the beginning he put on the front that he was a great dad..he had me come to Montana and meet Jen and her two boys, Colt and Mason, who were around the same age as me. That's what really f****d me up..watching how my dad treated those two boys better than his own flesh and blood. The pictures they had on the walls and the memories they had already made. I was ten at the time and I knew at that moment I meant nothing to that man.

I asked my mom to never make me go to Montana again and she somehow made it happen..I guess things went in my favor when my dad didn't seem to give a shit either way..only when he was told I got a scholarship to WSU for basketball did he finally reach out when I was eighteen. Yeah I got birthday cards and he was in town on the rare occasion but that's the extent our relationship goes. Kevin McNeal is just another man to me who just so happens to share my DNA and that's all he will ever be.

So you can see why love and marriage were always at the bottom of my list. Of course I had a few girlfriends and slept around when I was single, but I went for girls I knew I would never want to settle down with. Girls who were so self-absorbed that they didn't give a shit about feelings and only cared about s*x, money, and appearances. That all changed the moment I started talking to Emery. I knew the Em in real life..I knew she was shy and mostly kept to herself. She was the opposite of any girl I ever dated. She didn't want people to notice her. She wasn't seeking attention or looking for approval. Emery is just a beautiful, kind, and loving person with the purest soul.

I fell in love with her through a damn computer and the random times I got to see her in person. That's when I knew I was in trouble..not only was she beautiful on the inside..but Emery was gorgeous on the outside too. She always was but Mack had the outgoing personality to steal that light away from her..plus the whole Carson cock blocking thing which didn't help. I guess I'm thankful for that though because as bad as this sounds..Emery was always meant to be mine, I just feel it deep down. Every single part of her.. mind, body, and soul..all of it belongs to me and I want that forever. I always felt a weird pull to her but fought it for the longest time. I guess I just couldn't fight it anymore, that's why I talked to her as Ronan..because I got to show her the real me. Before we left for this trip, I made sure to call my mom. I needed her to know what I was about to do. My mom knew about Emery, she knows who she is obviously, and was pleasantly surprised we were dating. She said she knew one day I would open my eyes and see what was right in front of me..and I guess I was the only one who was oblivious.

My mom, Tina McNeal, works in the local hospital as an occupational therapist. Her hours were always long but she did the best with what she could for us. She actually came from a very wealthy family whereas my dad didn't at the time. I can still remember nights when my mom would be working late and I feel like I lived at the Prescott's half the time. Mom didn't have to work, but I knew she struggled with depression after Dad left so she threw herself into it by taking extra shifts and working overtime.

I think it didn't help that I looked just like him. I could see the pain in her eyes and that's why I know she was more closed off.nl can't blame her though..but honestly, being loved and cared for by Emery..this is the first time in my life where I actually feel wanted. Where I feel like she isn't just with me for my looks or the fact that I have money and play basketball. She is with me for me..she makes me laugh and smile more than I ever have in my whole damn life. She makes my heart full and I can't imagine a single day without her. That's why I want to ask her to marry me..I want Emery Lewis to be Emery McNeal, I want her to be my wife.

I told my mom I was going to propose and I thought she would be against it, I thought she would say we were too young and I was about to be drafted, but no..she said something that blew my mind..she said something that made me realize this is the right decision. She told me that she had never seen me so happy, that even as a child I never smiled much. That I always had a seriousness around me, but she could tell just by the sound of my voice alone that I was in love. She told me to hold onto it..to never let it go because even with Dad there were doubts and sadness before they got married. She asked if I ever doubted Emery..if I ever felt it wasn't right and there could be something better and without hesitation, I knew my answer... Emery was the best there would ever be. She was my damn soul mate..that true love so many hunger for. That feeling that makes your heart race and your palms sweat..those flutters in your stomach that makes you feel alive..I feel like that every moment I am with her. Honestly, most people don't replace their true love..most people settle in life and go through the years never feeling whole, but with Emery, I had never felt more whole..with Emery, I feel alive for the first time in my life.

I used to have dreams and goals, and they all centered around Basketball. Yeah, I figured one day I would settle down and replace someone along the road..but even looking back it is almost painful to know I was planning a different life without her. Now I want my world to be centered around this woman. I want to give her the whole damn thing like she deserves.

I want the big wedding, I want the big house with the white picket fence and most importantly I want the kids..I want so many damn kids. Just picturing little Emery's running around makes me fucking giddy..what the hell is wrong with me? I feel like the roles have been reversed here or something..like I am the love-sick one that is planning the damn wedding and picking out my fucking tux already. Fuck..okay..I can't lie..I might have created a vision board...

See! This isn't fucking normal! If any of the guys knew, I would never live it down..fuck..if Emery knew I would probably freak her the fuck out. Yeah we will keep that one hidden for a while. But that's how ready I am to start my life with Emery as my wife. That's how much she has changed me and opened me up. She was always there in the back of my mind, that little girl with those big hazel eyes, but now she has just blossomed into a woman. She has become my woman, my sweet and sexy girl who drives me insane with one damn look, which I might add she is giving me right now.

"Are you excited baby?" I smiled happily, my hand gripping her waist tightly as we waited outside for the car to pick us up. She just nodded her head before lifting on her tiptoes and placing a sweet kiss on my lips.

I planned this trip to be absolutely perfect. I even asked her dad for permission and he said yes...I went through all of the necessary steps and will make sure that in three days Emery will experience a day like never before and I hope with all of my heart she feels the same way I do..I pray to God that when I get down on one knee she says yes..because if she doesn't, it might just shatter me completely. She is it for me and I will never love another. It just isn't possible..she has ruined me for life in the best damn way possible.