His Soul & His Shame
His soul & His Shame

What is it that you have wanted all your life and when you finally get it, How do you feel?

I felt like I was going to pop out with happiness and my cheeks hurt so much from grinning ear to ear and I couldn't stop my heart from galloping whenever I thought about the second Ezra would introduce me as his Fiance in front of everyone.

I will ask again,

What is it that you have wanted all your life and You stood there watching it ruin your happiness, future and your whole damn life!

No one prepared me for this and I should have listened to my gut when it told something was going to happen.

AN HOUR BEFORE:

"Wow! Look, Our princess is finally here!" Daniel teased me when I entered the hotel which Ezra had booked for the party.

Daniel is not alone, Alex and my Dad are standing with him with stars in their eyes but eyes searched for him frantically wanting to see him, feel him, touch him and taste him. I don't know why I am feeling restless to see him but I desperately want to have Ezra near me.

"Thanks, Daniel! Did you see Ezra?" I asked, Mom and Joanna went to meet some ladies they knew leaving me with the boys.

"You look pretty, Sweetheart." My dad walked towards me with his wide arms engulfing me in his warmth. I relaxed my tense body and enjoyed his warmth.

"Thanks, Dad!" My arms tightened around him and I felt myself choking back the tears. I Am so lucky to have a Dad like him who always supported me and pampered me like a princess.

"I talked with Ezra and he said he will be here in fifteen minutes." Dad said, erasing my worries but still a voice in my head banging and yelling to call Ezra and talk to him but my attention was snatched away by Joanna who dragged me towards our high school group.

The entire time I mingled with the guests my concentration and eyes were on the entrance looking for Ezra but he didn't come yet making me worry every second of it and i dialed his number too but he didn't answer nor his secretary.

"It's been an hour, Fay! Where is Ezra? Everyone is asking for him and whispering among themselves." My eyes burned with tears but i didn't let them water knowing people will see something is up and i don't want to make a scene. "I think he is stuck in a meeting, I will go and check. tell mom and dad that I will come back with Ezra." I didn't wait for her to call on my stupidity and stormed off from the hotel gulping down the tears and worry.

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts pulling me deep into the dark hole. I don't want to go there and misunderstand the situation Ezra may be in.

There was a taxi waiting when I walked down the lane. I slipped into it and told the driver the address of Irwin towers. No one in this city didn't know Irwin towers and who the Irwin's were.

He drove to the building in fifteen minutes and i'm standing in front of the elevators thinking, what the fuck am i doing here? How did everything change from the party to this! I should have been in the party with Ezra dancing, eating and kissing him but life and destiny doesn't want to give me what I want but rather wants to make me work hard for it! Beg for it! Cry for it! I never understood why it was always me!

Why is my life full of drama and pain!

Gritting my teeth to stop my thoughts from wandering in unwanted thoughts I entered the elevator which is as empty as most of the building.

Ezra's office is on the third floor, the door of the elevator opens and I exit. My hands are shaking, and my legs are wobbly too, making it hard to take steps towards Ezra's cabin. There is no one in the sight but my same stupid gut is telling me to proceed.

My Brain already knows something is up but my heart! She just wants to be with the person who is the reason I am going through with all these phases.

I stood in front of Ezra's cabin, contemplating whether to open or not and most probably Ezra is not in his office but maybe he is in his penthouse he never used after he moved in with me but there are chances he could be still here. I'm having a battle within my head and losing it very badly.

A feminine voice reached my ears through the door calling Ezra's name and the voice sounds familiar but unable to name it.

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I pushed the door open but my legs are rooted to the ground and I am unable to move as the view in front of me robbed my breath and I am gasping for air.

No! This is not happening again! No human being can have this much bad omen in her life. I Am sure I am just imagining things but I can't forget her familiar pretty face and I just can't imagine her wrapped around my Fiance. "M.. Mitchell!" I called her name wanting to know that she is real and my head is not playing games with me and she proved that she is real by turning her head and making eye contact. I stumbled back with shock and horror. My eyes moved towards Ezra who still sits on the couch with Mitchell wrapped around him with no emotion on his face. He wiped everything clean from his face and he is looking at me with indifference like he doesn't know why I am here and why I am disturbing them.

He is hurting me again and this hurt and pain is much more than the pain he gave me in the past. I feel like I am going to die with the way my heart is twisting so painfully.

"Oh! You always butt in between us, Fay! You didn't learn to never barge in all these years." Mitchell taunted, snaking her arms tightly around Ezra's neck and gluing her chest to his. My tear filled eyes are in their closeness wanting to wipe the view with my tears but they are still in each other's arms.

"H.. Ho.. How Could you do this to me, Ezra?" I choked out the words feeling like a fool for the nth time trusting Ezra Irwin and giving my heart to him again on a silver platter to stomp and throw away.

He just averted his eyes and his jaw clenched tight but he didn't answer nor he removed her from him nor he came towards me to tell me that whatever i'm seeing is nothing and Just Mitchell being Mitchell but he sat there with a coldest expression he can muster while i stood here breaking and dying.

I sucked a deep breath when I didn't get any answer from him and turned around leaving him and her alone like I always did.

He broke me again.

He hurt me again.

He stabbed me again.

He embarassed me again.

Like a fool I trusted him and forgave him. I was never enough for him and today again he proved that. He thinks I'm a heartless and lifeless doll he can use and throw away and I will always go back to him but this time I will just vanish where I will never have to see Ezra Irwin.

He is dead to me as much as I am dead to him.

"Fay! Wait!" Mitchell's voice stopped me in front of the elevator and I wiped my eyes not wanting to give her any more satisfaction of seeing me break. I didn't turn around to face her, I rather looked at the wall while she spewed nonsense. "I'm sorry that I am the reason for your breakup but I hope you understand that I have to come between you and Ezra for my kid. I hope you forgive us and move on." Her tone didn't suggest that she is sorry nor she is feeling bad for me but what made my ears ring is the word kid.

What the hell is she talking about?

"Kid?" I asked, dumbfounded, looking at her for the second time this night.

"Yes, Ezra and I have a kid together." My already broken heart broke some more hearing her words and the fact that Ezra has a kid with someone else.

I always dreamed about having his kids and raising them together but someone else is going to do that and I can't breathe.

I dashed towards the stairs not listening to her or the words she was still spewing. My head feels like it's underwater and I'm trying and gasping to come up but it's of no use, I'm drowning and there is no one to pull me up. "Fay! Oh my god! Are you okay?" I don't know how I am looking but with the horrid expressions on Alex and Joanna's I may be looking like a fool and shit.

"E...E...Ezra, H.. He...Is W...with...M... Mitchell." I don't know how I uttered these words as my eyes are closing on their Accord and all I can see is blackness and their voices are absurd. I welcomed the darkness which was calling me and I happily welcomed it and kept falling and falling till I felt peace.

"Ezra Irwin is not only an addiction but also a parasite who will kill you even after you are dead and I hope I have met my death."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: GOING TO MAKE A SEQUEL SO IAM ENDING THIS FIRST PART HERE.