Human(MxM)[UNEDITED]
Chapter 13

Asgeir POV

"I mean he says he's sorry for calling me a slut! Like really now." I said and drank the rest of my wine and leaned forward to take the jug and pour more into my goblet.

"But that's not all, he actually says says I'm the most beautiful thing he ever saw. Am I thing?" I said giggling and drinking more of my wine.

"Okay okay, I think you had enough now, don't forget you're getting married tomorrow." Arkyn said and took my goblet from me, despite my pouting.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked after a few moments of silence between us.

"Of course." He said and sat down next to me.

"That story you told me about Aron. Why didn't you try to replace love again? I know he meant everything to you, but he wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life alone." I said and looked at him with my eyes slowly closing.

He chuckled and made me lay down and place my head on his lap. He lowered his head and placed a kiss on my temple and ran his fingers through my hair.

"You were enough for me. I didn't need anyone else when I had you." He said smiling at me and running his palm across my forehead.

I thought about what he said and I wondered if I could ever bring myself to love Gregor. And if I couldn't, then I would have my child. Just like Arkyn had me to fill that void, my child would fill that void for me.

I wouldn't need anyone when I had my baby. He would become my everything and all I ever needed. Even if his father would be an asshole, which I'm guessing he would in the future despite all that tears he showed earlier, because he was a self absorbed person who always jumped to conclusions before he actually took the time to ask first.

And when I had kissed him earlier, I was hoping that I would feel something else besides that bothersome feeling inside my gut. I was hoping to feel a fraction of what I always read about in books.

That feeling of warmth that emanates from somewhere inside you and fills you. That tingly sensation that spreads goosebumps all over your skin when their skin touches yours. That rapid beating your heart makes when they're close to you..

I felt nothing of that sort, in fact, all I felt was the need to get away from him. Never in my life had I ever wished I could turn off that ability of mine. That ability to warn me when something was about to happen, because all I wanted was to feel all those things for even a brief moment, even if it wasn't real.

I wanted to know what it felt like when someone genuinely loved you, but instead I was among those unfortunate people that was going to be tied to someone who only saw me as a means to carry his children. Even if he wouldn't outright say it, I knew it. And the words a drunk man didn't matter when all he did when he was sober was look at me like I was something filthy and call me a whore.

If he wasn't truthful when he was sober, then his words weighed nothing when he was drunk.

"I still can't believe you're going to become an adult tomorrow. Sometimes I look at you and I still see my baby boy." He said smiling at me.

"Well you sheltered me so much growing up, that I actually feel like I'm still a baby. I forget that from tomorrow, I can't come crying to you anymore, and that I'm going to responsible for myself from now on." I said leaning into his hand that now rested at the back of my head.

"You can always come to me whenever you need anything. In fact I'd be upset if you didn't." He said smiling at me.

"And I don't give a shit about Father or Dad is going to say, if that asshole ever calls you a slut or anything of the sort again, you had better tell me so I can beat the shit out of him. That is no way to talk to someone that you supposedly love" he said rolling his eyes and making me laugh.

"He never said he loved me Arkyn." I said chuckling.

"Well he was trying to imply it, that son of a -"

"Will you relax for one bit, it's pointless getting angry about it, we wouldn't want to start an unnecessary feud among our kingdoms." I said.

"I just wish it didn't have to be you. Out of all of us, you're the one who deserves someone who'll love you for the amazing person you are. I mean you're the only who kept yourself pure, waiting for your other half, only to be stuck with that." He said lookin down at me.

I tried to mask the look of hurt I knew was forming on my face. Because he was right, I hadn't been intimate with anyone like my brothers did, wanting my first sexual experience to be with the person I was going to spend my life with. I wanted to be pure for him, and I wanted him alone to give me that ultimate pleasure.

I even went as far as reading every book in our library that contained the different methods of having sex, just because I wanted to be prepared and I wanted to give him just as much pleasure as he was going to give me, but now, I felt so utterly exhausted emotionally whenever I thought of sex, knowing who I had to do it with, to such an extent, that I was prepared to just lay there and let him do what was needed.

"I am curious about something though." I said trying to lighten the mood and not let Arkyn see my face, knowing he would worry again.

He looked down at me and smiled, asking me what I was curious about, he raised an eyebrow at me when he saw me smirking, and burst into laughter when I asked him my question.

"Who is my child going to call Grandfather, you or Father and Dad?"