I am Sam
Chapter Thirty-One

CALEB

The way Sasha’s looking at me right now after I drained all the puss from Atlas’s wound like I just fucking performed a miracle or something; those adoring universe eyes of hers, blue’s and green’s swirling around with this splash of deep red only has me getting hard for her; and I have to remind myself that I’m here to help get her the fuck out of this realm, not to keep her for myself and fuck her brains out every night of her life.

What an intriguing idea, though, to have her all to myself, the things I could do to her, the many different ways I could make her scream my name. ‘Fuck, stop it, Caleb,’ I internally scold myself as I groan; the fact that I grew a conscious because of this girl pisses me off. I wish I could switch it off, but because Sasha managed to replace a way of crawling through the very cracks of my stone-cold heart, she will now forever and always have a place there, safely tucked away, her being the only other person besides her brother, that I give a fuck about.

Speaking of which, Atlas is looking a shit load better after Sasha could finally heal him; I guess now all we have to do is get on with it, replace Lisbon, break this curse on Wolf and then I’ll be done with this; I will be able to go back to my life, the one I had before Sasha came crashing into it like a clumsy little puppy, and I don’t know why the thought of her leaving suddenly has this fucked up feeling happening inside my chest like I’m somehow going to miss her annoying ass being around or something, or something... Smirking, I look down, my arms resting on my knees as I stare at the ground between my legs; an all but strange realization forcing its way into my chest, and I have to push it back physically.

She’s not mine, and I have no right to feel a fucking thing the moment she goes; that’s the bottom line.

“So Cal, you gonna tell me how you ended up becoming the leader of the Wendigo, or are you going to keep us all in suspense?” Looking up at Atlas as he cocks me a curious brow, I can’t help the smirk I give in response as I shake my head,

“What do you wanna know?”

“Where did you go after you left Aeonian?” Sighing I sit up a little straighter when I shrug,

“I had a run-in with Wendigo once before, about a year back after I shifted into my dragon for the first time; it wasn’t the most pleasant experience, so I knew they wouldn’t let go of Sasha once they picked up on a scent they wanted, once they lock onto someone, they won’t let go.” Turning my head to look Sasha dead in the eyes, I can see the mere mention of her nightmare experience still has her shaken up to this day, “So I did what anyone would have done, I killed the leader of the Wendigo to stop the hunt on Sasha’s head.”

Sasha’s jaw drops as she stares at me in complete disbelief; even Atlas has this dumbfounded smirk on his face; Asher, however, scoffs as he shakes his head at me,

“So you had to be the fucken hero,” And Asher narrows his eyes on me. There it is, the reason, the reminder of something that happened that shifted my entire life from that moment onward, Asher’s old man took something from me, and I ended up taking something from Asher when I killed him; it’s something I’ve got to live with, a deviation created in our realm over what I did, all because of how Eris fucked up.

“I’m no hero,” I retort, my demeanour utterly indifferent to his hostile one,

“You fucking right, you’re no hero; you’re a murderer,” He growls, and even though he helped me earlier when I asked him to get stuff to heal Atlas, I knew it wouldn’t mask the true ill feelings he harbours towards me for long, hatred. Do I blame him? No. Do I wish I could go back and change things? Yes, but life doesn't work that way, you can never go back, you can only go forward, that's it.

“You want to do this right now, Asher?” Another growl reverberates through his chest as he glares hard at me, and both Atlas and Sasha are now quietly observing from the sideline; better they don’t get involved in this.

“I can’t think of a better time. Actually, we might all die in this fucking place, so yeah,” The swirls of his Ultima burning red in his eyes, and I know what comes next with his kind, barbaric slaughter; the thought only has a grin creeping up at the corners of my mouth as I shake my head at him. So the moment he launches himself at me, I’m not surprised as I grab for him, gripping his throat, twisting and pinning him down beneath me. He’s strong, fucking strong actually; he’s an Ultima after all, but he's still inexperienced in the ways of fighting, and I’ve caught him off guard as I stare down hard at him,

“Get the fuck off me!” He screams in my face, with the Wendigo groaning and grunting from outside the salt ring because they can’t get to me to protect me, not that I fucking need they're protection. My forearm is pushed up against his throat as I keep him pinned down,

“I did kill your father,” My voice is low and deep as I speak, my eyes piercing his own, “But your father killed my brother,” And I watch as Asher’s jaw clenches, his lip wobbling as I push off him and get up, extending my hand to help him up. Swallowing hard, he reluctantly takes my hand as I pull him up to stand.

Atlas suddenly gets up and comes to stand beside me as he furrows his brows questioningly,

“You killed the Ultima King?” My jaw clenches as I turn my head to look at him, and this, right here, is a conversation I’ve been dreading for the past year.

“He killed Cole; what the fuck did you expect me to do? Just let him walk away?” And I can feel the darkness wanting to consume me as it begins to vibrate through my veins, burning like acid as it tears at the place where my heart used to be.

“None of it would have happened if it wasn’t for Eris,” Asher spits out, his entire body vibrating with rage. Turning his head to look at Asher; Atlas clenches his jaw tightly,

“What do you mean if it wasn’t for Eris? What does she have to do with this?” Gulping, Asher suddenly looks down, and the hurt on his face takes me off guard when he speaks of Eris,

“It wasn’t meant to turn out this way, and it doesn’t even fucking matter anymore; the damage is done, and nothing will undo what she did,” And that’s one thing both Asher and I can agree on; because what Eris did not only resulted in both Asher and I losing the people we cared about the most, but it resulted in the banishment and ultimate extinction of the Ultimas within our realm.

“Is someone going to tell me what Eris has to do with this, or will I have to go replace her and strangle it out of her?” Both Asher and I turn our heads to look at Atlas, and I’m surprised by how pissed off he is all of a sudden. Turning my head back at Asher, I groan. Fuck, why not, right.

“Eris stole the Ultima firestone and gave it to the Unseelie Queen,” There’s this moment of complete silence, a small gasp coming from Sasha somewhere beside me, when Atlas suddenly shouts,

“What!?”

Asher grinds his teeth, his eyes narrowing on me like it’s my fucking fault the dumb bitch decided to go through with one of Circe’s stupid drinking dares; another reason why I don’t play her truth or dare party games anymore, because unknowingly, Circen fucking played a hand in this whole thing, in a moment of fun and games, a stupid dare turned into a nightmare; And I guess maybe that’s why I kept fucking Circen all those times in the past year because she jokingly planted the seed which ultimately ruined all our lives; so does that make me sadistic for fucking the girl who started it all, maybe.

Atlas’s hands fly up into his hair as he pulls back hard at the roots,

“Eris stole the firestone; why?”

“A dare,” I mumble,

“A dare?” Atlas repeats, and all the while, my eyes remain on Asher, the hurt in him so evident as his body trembles; huh, why is Eris affecting him so badly, I wonder?

“Yes,” I turn my head to look at Atlas, “One of Circen’s fucking drinking game dares,” And Atlas suddenly blinks back, his jaw going slack as it finally all comes back to him,

“You mean...” And I can’t help smirking as I watch the penny drop in his head, “But that was just a fucking game, Cal; why would Eris do something like that?” Scoffing, I roll my eyes at him,

“What’s the one rule of Circe’s truth or dare games, Atlas?” But Sasha is the one who answers me,

“If you don’t go through with it, your head gets shaved,” As those words leave her lips, the horror on her face mimics the stupified horror on Atlas’s, and he suddenly sits down right where he stood clearly in a bit of shock,

“She fucking stole the firestone and gave it to Malvessa because she was scared of having her head shaved,” Hearing it come out of his mouth like that suddenly makes it sound even more pathetic than it did before, and a deep growl explodes from Asher,

“A dare, I was nothing more than a fucking dare to her. She used me to get close to the firestone, cuffed me in my sleep all because of a stupid fucking dare!?” He bellows out, hands fisted as he heaves heavily, “She told me she loved me; I thought she was... I mean, it felt like she was...”

“What?” I ask him now curious, and he looks up at me through narrowed eyes,

“I thought she was my fated mate; it felt like it, when we were together, the connection; and then it just changed the day she stole the stone, and my father died; the feeling died along with his death.” It’s then that I see tears welling up behind his black eyes, fuck, he really did think he was fated to Eris. Fuck.

“This is all too much to take in,” Atlas says, shaking his head, “Eris stole the stone, gave it to Malvessa, tricked Asher, and lied to everyone, which led to the deaths of Cole and the Ultima King,” Looking up at me there’s suddenly so much hatred in his eyes, “The penalty for what’s she’s done is death, you know that, right?” Clenching my jaw, I look down,

“I know, but so is mine because I helped her cover it up.”

“She’s your mate, man; we do strange things for the ones we...”

“Don’t,” I mumble so threateningly as I stare hard at Atlas, “Don’t you use the word love and Eris in the same sentence because I will never love her.”

There’s a long moment of silence that stretches out as Atlas looks from me to Asher and back at me again, clearly deep in thought,

“Eris has a lot of explaining to do when we see her, that’s a fact, and we’ll deal with all this then; but right now, we’re just fucking grateful to you for killing a Wendigo and ultimately saving our lives.” Smirking, I shake my head,

“Anyone would have done the same,”

“Nah, man, not just anyone, that’s just you; anyone else would have avoided the Wendigo, not gone looking for them; you’re just insane,” Atlas says with a dry chuckle.

“Yeah, suppose I’m insane then.” I shrug as I go to sit down, gingerly running soil through my hand, fuck, opening up all this shit with Cole’s death isn’t something I want to do right now, and I refuse to go there and dwell on it; I’m not ready, and I don’t think I ever will be. Raw fucking anger and hatred towards the person responsible works so much better in my eyes, way more productive.

Sasha is suddenly right on her knees in front of me, completely taking me by surprise when she tenderly brushes away the strands of my hair that are covering my face, and I can’t help the moment I look up at her, our eyes locking in that instant; emotions swirling around in those beautiful eyes of hers like an ocean,

“You killed a Wendigo for me?” And before she can move her hand away, I grab her wrist, just holding it there as my eyes drink her in, fuck, I wish I didn’t care so much about her, then I wouldn’t care whether or not she ever saw her mate again. I have to remind myself that she’s not mine, though, as I finally let go of her and look away,

“That’s what friends do,” And I hear her take a sharp breath, holding it there before slowly exhaling,

“Thank you,” Her voice is so small at that moment that I instantly look up at her, only to see tears shimmering behind her eyes, “Not just for killing a Wendigo, but for everything you’ve done before that and after, thank you for never going easy on me, and for everything you’ve taught me.” She wipes away the first tear as it falls, and my chest suddenly constricts, tightening in response. Fuck, I can’t do heavy emotions right now, not with how vulnerable she makes me feel.

“I think you should hold off on the gratitude until you’re actually walking through a portal and going home, don’t you think, little one,” And I watch as her brows furrow, nodding when she breaks eye contact and looks down. I wish I knew how to respond to gratitude, but honestly, it’s not something I’m used to, so I tiptoe around it nervously, instead avoiding it because killing; I’m good at, fucking; I’m good at, but emotions and letting my guard down, not so much.

“So, you hear about Liam?” Atlas says, suddenly somewhat enthusiastically, which instantly pulls me from my dark thoughts as I look away from Sasha and up at him, my brows furrowing in response,

“What about Liam?”

“He’s in the Seelie kingdom,” And I smirk in response,

“And Ronan’s fine with this?”

“Well, I’m not sure if Ronan even knows, but Liam claimed Lana, and I doubt he will be leaving her side any time soon, if ever.” He scoffs, and I can’t help chuckling at the irony; Ronan separates Liam from Lana for two years, only for Liam to finally have a pair of balls one day and tune fuck it,

“It’s about fucking time he stopped letting Ronan take away what’s rightfully his,” Nodding Atlas shrugs as he scrubs a hand over his face,

"Yeah well now I'm going to be sitting without an air element on my team," Scoffing I shake my head,

“Yeah, you know any other earth elements?” Atlas suddenly gives me a questioning look,

“No, why?”

“Because I’m not going back to Aeonian after this either,” And all three of them suddenly give me a strange confused look,

“Wait, what do you mean you’re not going back?” Atlas says furrowing his brows,

“Exactly that; I’m not going back; I’m done with Ronan,”

“You can’t just leave; I mean, Eris is still your fated mate, regardless of how badly she fucked up.” Scowling at him, I’m grinding my teeth in response,

“Eris is nothing of mine,”

“Look, I of all people can understand why you would feel that way, but you can’t run away from fate,” Atlas’s words irk at my inner darkness when I narrow my eyes on him,

“Fuck fate, there is no way that Eris is mine,” And Atlas narrows his eyes questioningly,

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that if a fated mate feels like Eris, then fuck fate, I don’t want it.” And I’m deadly serious as I stare hard at him before getting up, “Now come on, let’s get going; we still have a few hours of sunlight before it’s dark,” Sasha’s voice comes through small and unsure when she speaks,

“Shouldn’t we wait until morning before we go?”

“No,” I grumble as I shake my head once, “We keep moving, even when it’s dark,”

“When it’s dark?” Atlas asks suspiciously, “You realize where we are, right?”

“Are you afraid of the dark, Atlas?” I ask him sarcastically as I cock a brow at him,

“No, I’m just not stupid enough to go wandering around the Unseelie desert at night either,”

“Well, luckily, we have Wendigo to lead the way; they have excellent night vision,” I shrug nonchalantly, and with that, I’m walking out of the salt ring; the direction is straight ahead for us now.

The hidden.

~

SASHA

Following behind Caleb as the Wendigo leads the way, both Atlas and Asher are right by my side. We’ve been walking for about twenty minutes, maybe thirty when I suddenly stop.

“I need to pee,” Those four little words instantly have all three guys stopping, almost freezing in their strides.

I’m about to drop my pants and squat down behind a bush when something catches my eye up in a nearby tree, it’s that same raven again, the one from before with the white spot on its head.

Caleb immediately follows my line of sight; being as super observant as he is, he doesn’t ever miss a beat. He silently stands and stares up at the bird when Asher pipes up next to me,

“It’s Vanya’s raven again,” And I watch as Caleb slowly turns his head in Asher’s direction, furrowing his brows in response,

“Who?”

“Malvessa’s daughter, Vanya,” And there’s a strange look in his eyes as he slowly tilts his head while again staring at the raven,

“Vanya,” Her name rolls off his lips like he’s committing it to memory for some reason; in the next breath I suddenly gasp when the raven swoops down and comes to rest right on Caleb’s arm, cocking its head like it knows him or something,

“What the heck?” My jaw is completely slack as I blink back in surprise, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who replaces this all super strange; even Atlas and Asher look gobsmacked; but not Caleb; he, on the other hand, looks entirely enthralled by the raven as he tilts his head while staring intently at it, gently running his fingers down its chest.

“How did you...” Atlas begins to ask when suddenly a loud cracking sound has both the raven flying away and our heads snapping back to watch as a black portal opens up not too far from where we are. The moment a woman steps out from inside it a fearful shudder instantly runs down my spine, and I now know what Atlas was talking about when he said I would feel darkness like no other if I came into contact with the likes of Malvessa.

She casually steps out of the darkness and cocks her head as her eyes come to finally rest on all of us standing there, a devious grin creeping up at the corners of her mouth,

“Well, well, well, I was merely out taking a stroll in my wilderness, looking for some tidbits for my tarantula, and look at what I’ve found. Some elemental witches, monster additions to my Kingdom and a very cursed Ultima wolf.” Grinning wickedly from ear to ear, Malvessa raises a devious, sinister grin at Asher, “Hey, big boy; somehow, I’m not surprised to see you still breathing.”

Asher suddenly growls, a deep threatening rumble reverberating from him, but Malvessa merely chuckles in a creepy sinister way as she cackles like it’s the funniest thing to hear Asher’s wolf growling at her,

“Asher, oh Asher, when will you learn that you can’t intimidate me with your wolf,” She suddenly flutters her lashes at him as a sinister grin creeps up at the corners of her mouth. And all I can do is stand there frozen as I stare at her; she’s not what I was expecting; she’s beautiful. Long black hair reaches right down her lower back, dark eyes, and a pale complexion complete with deep red lips. She’s dressed in a long shimmering black dress that hugs her curves in all the right places; she screams confident darkness and evil seduction as I’ve never felt before. We’re in trouble.

Her dark eyes rake over us once more as she tilts her head like she’s deep in thought,

“So, what are you all doing here in the Unseelie realm? I can’t remember extending an invitation to any Aeonian or Wendigo,” Caleb suddenly narrows his eyes on her,

“We’re here to replace Lisbon,” Her eyes dart over to him in an instant,

“Lisbon. And why would she be in my Kingdom exactly?” She asks, now amused,

“We know she’s here, Malvessa,” Atlas says, staring hard at her, and she suddenly narrows her eyes on him for just a moment before switching her expression like a psycho person, a broad smile and big eyes drinking in Atlas as she cocks her head,

“Atlas is it; you’re Ronan’s son, prince of Aeonian and next in line to become King. Are you calling me a liar, young Atlas?”

“That depends, are you lying Malvessa?” And I watch as a twitch in her eye suddenly has a snarl escaping her lips,

“You would do right to remember who I am, young Atlas and that I do not take kindly to those who disrespect or falsely accuse me.” The sudden darkness in her eyes shimmers with a kind of madness, which suddenly has Caleb stepping in between Atlas and her, glaring hard at her as he cocks his head.

Malvessa shifts her attention from Atlas to Caleb, a devious grin spreading up at the corners of her mouth as she drinks him in with her eyes,

“Well, who do we have here, so willing to jump into the line of fire for the prince, such a valiant sacrifice.” And I suddenly leap towards Caleb as I grab his arm,

“Caleb, no,” My eyes are still on him when Malvessa narrows her eyes in response,

“Caleb,” She drawls out his name painstakingly slowly like she remembers something that instantly annoys her. “I think you...” She says, shifting her attention from Caleb to me, “You can all accompany me back to castle Mirk for dinner; perhaps we can continue this conversation regarding Lisbon and exactly why you might be looking for her.”

“With all due respect, Queen Malvessa, I think we’ll have to decline your kind offer,” Atlas says in a low tone; and she suddenly narrows her eyes on him, evil daggers shooting at his head as she smirks,

“Oh but I insist, young Atlas; and you would think wisely not to offend my hospitality ever again.” She sneers. Gulping, I suddenly tighten my hold on Caleb’s arm, for the first time since I arrived in this realm, I’m suddenly feeling genuinely fearful for our lives.