I am Sam
Chapter Three

Another week has gone by, and I’m locked away in this room awaiting the inevitable. I'm losing my goddam mind, I can’t take this anymore, if Ronan plans on killing me then just kill me already. Stop prolonging it, it's torture. Waiting is far worse, it’s like my mind keeps putting together different scenarios of how I'm going to die, not being able to break the curse, never seeing Wolf again, feeling like a failure and not knowing how to undo what happened a week ago.

Looking down at the wolf cuffs around my wrists, I slowly clench my fists, my wolf shimmering behind my eyes. She's losing it, pushing, clawing in desperation to get out, to get to her mate. She doesn't understand, to her, this is the worst kind of torture.

Circen hasn’t been allowed in my room, by orders of Ronan, of course, he's trying to get me to go insane.

No one is allowed to come inside my room, no one except one guard and one maid once a day. I get fed three meals a day, my linen and towels changed daily, fresh flowers placed on the mantle piece closest to the fireplace. It crackles on, the flames licking the air, and I wonder for just a moment, would Ronan be pissed if I started a fire in his castle. Smirking I dismiss the idea, he would probably get Noah to extinguish it or something, with him being a water element and all.

I'm aimlessly still staring at the flames on the other side of the room, my back pressed up against the door as I sit down with my knees drawn up under my chin, when suddenly something Circen says on the other side of the door catches my attention.

“Wait, you and Caleb, seriously?” The question suddenly snapping me out of my moment of inner turmoil when I ask it, Circen is sitting right on the opposite side of the door. She's been chatting away aimlessly, but the moment she mentions her relationship with Caleb, it seems to get my attention, what an unlikely pair.

“Yeah, it’s been this on again off again thing over the past two years.” She quickly responds,

“Are you fated mates?” I ask furrowing my brows as I rest my head against the door,

“I don’t know, I mean, we could be, it hasn’t been confirmed yet. Caleb, Noah, Eris and I are late bloomers if you want to call it that.” Smirking I'm suddenly trying to wrap my head around this.

“How would you know if it's confirmed, I mean, how does it work with witches?”

“I only know from watching Kris and Miera. The moment it kicked in for them, I mean, the moment they knew. It was just as if time stood still, which is funny because the twin bond and the mate bond aren't exactly that different in how it makes you feel, but they were just always in this bubble I guess.”

“What do you mean the twin bond is similar to the mate bond? You weren’t crushing on your brother were you?” I'm suddenly feeling horrified as I wait for her response.

“Eww, no way, nothing like that. From the moment twins are born they are connected, so this incredible need to be close to each other can sometimes be confusing and overwhelming, I can see how some might mistake something like that for a mate bond. But, because we are born with it, we learn to understand the difference at a very young age. So when the actual mate bond kicks in with someone, we can tell the difference in how it makes us feel.” And a sudden question pops into my mind that has me feeling nervous,

“Circen, how do witches you know, mark each other?” Thinking about how us wolves do it, I’m suddenly feeling an onset of panic. Giving a small chuckle, she sighs with amusement when she replies,

“Don’t worry, it’s not as intrusive as you wolves do it. And not all witches mark one another, that’s just us. We are element powers, it’s kinda just how it works I guess."

"Okay, so how does it work?" I ask leaning my head to the side as I wait for her to respond,

"So the mark is a symbol, the first theban letter of the star you were born under that gave you your ability. You’ll burn that symbol letter onto your mates skin, on his or her left wrist.”

“Oh, is that it?”

“Pretty much, I mean you have to chant some words at the same time, but yeah, it’s pretty straight forward. No biting each other, so don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t worried.” I quickly respond,

“Sure you weren’t, you were thinking about what it would mean if Atlas marked you, weren't you?”

“That will never happen, if he ever comes anywhere near me again...”

“Yes?”

“It just won’t happen, okay.” I say rolling my eyes in annoyance.

“Okay, whatever you say.” She finally scoffs, and I can practically feel the eye roll from the other side of the door.

We sat like that for another ten minutes or so, but then Circen soon had to go, she had some duties to attend to. She said she would come and stop by again later, and that either Noah or Liam would probably stop by as well. We have all kind of become sort of close this week, sitting and chatting through the door for long periods of time.

The hard truth however was the moment they would have to leave, I was again left with the deep aching loneliness that crept right back into my heart like it never left, my new found friendship with Circen, Noah and Liam however, somehow made it a little bit more bearable.

~

I was still sitting propped up against the door when I suddenly heard a key move into the slot of the lock, jumping forward and away from the door, I'm suddenly standing as I turned to face the door, the anticipation for what I expect to see the moment the door opens, the guard and maid bringing me either lunch or supper like normal.

The moment the door swings open however, the blood suddenly drains from my face when I look right into Ronan’s face.

He has this satisfied narcissistic smirk on his face when he looks at me,

“You look incredibly worried to see me at your door.” The fake concern suddenly has my wolf showing through the irises of my eyes.

“Are you here to do it yourself?” I suddenly growl at him in defense, to which he merely gives me a smug innocent smile.

“What are you talking about?” Narrowing my eyes I grit my teeth,

“You know, to kill me, are you here to do it yourself?” Scoffing he suddenly rolls his eyes seemingly bored with my accusation,

“If I wanted you dead dear girl, I would have done it a week ago, not waited until now, I don’t have that kind of patience.”

“So why are you here then?” Cocking a brow at me I suddenly see a red shimmer in his eyes that instantly disappears the moment he speaks,

“To ask you to join me.”

“Join you," The words leave my lips with such confusion, "Join you in what?” Snapping his fingers a guard suddenly appears from outside my room holding a smallish square looking wooden board. He enters the room and I immediately move to the side to avoid him coming close to me, the moment he places the board onto a small table near the french doors overlooking the garden far bellow, he suddenly works like lightening to assemble pieces onto the board, wait, are those chess pieces? I suddenly think to myself.

The guard swiftly leaves the room as I watch him shut the door behind him, and I can’t help but instantly get this panicked feeling the moment I look up at Ronan, realizing in that moment that I'm all alone with him. I'm in trouble.

He however seems completely unphased when he suddenly starts moving in my direction, my whole body instantly tensing, going rigid in that one moment knowing that I can't even shift into my wolf to defend myself. And what I’m expecting and tensing up for doesn’t come, he moves right past me and goes to stand by the small table. Looking up from the ready set chess pieces, he gives me another smug smile when he gestures for me to join him, pulling out a chair for me, it's like he's replaceing this whole situation amusing. I can only eye him warily the moment I hesitantly begin moving towards the chair.

“Do you play?” Looking down at the chess set in front of me, my brows suddenly furrow in response. Slowly looking back up at him, I smirk as I narrow my eyes,

“You mean, does a filthy wild animal such as myself know how to play chess?” My narky response suddenly has Ronan chuckling in amusement.

“You are more like your mother than you know.” He replies bemused. And as he moves the first chess piece, he looks up at me and nods with that same smug grin on his face.

“Your move, my dear.”

Slowly sitting down opposite to Ronan, I keep eyeing him suspiciously.

“So you don’t plan on killing me then?” Sighing Ronan sits back in his seat and clasps his hands while resting his fore fingers against his chin,

“How can I kill such a rare creature as yourself?” Gesturing for me to make a move, I cautiously look down at the board long and hard before finally moving my pawn forward one space.

“Rare creature?” I ask questioningly, although I know what he’s revering to before he even says it.

“Your wolf, I’m curious, did my son know about your white wolf before last week?” Clenching my jaw I quickly divert my eyes, only confirming what he clearly already suspects. Smirking he sighs, “And yet he decided to keep it from me, I wonder why, it would have granted you an audience with me a lot sooner if he had just told me the truth.”

“I’m sure he had his reasons,” I say through gritted teeth, only to watch as Ronan moves another pawn, a sudden tick in his eye revealing his irritation with my response, but he brushes it off within an instant. His cool and self confident mask right back on,

“Well, regardless of his reasoning, his loyalty seems a bit obscured. Making me question his ability to lead my kingdom one day. He’s lucky he’s a spirit element, speaking of which," He says as he suddenly looks up from the board with a surprised grin, "It seems that you inherited the same elemental power as your mother.”

“She was a spirit element?” I ask curiously, nodding Ronan goes to make another move on the board, and this is how it goes, he speaks, makes a move, I respond and make a move. Back and forth we go, and I'm suddenly feeling a bit more relaxed and less on edge the more that time goes on.

“The combination of your wolf and spirit element is truly something remarkable, how exactly have you been able to hide it for so long?” The sudden painful memory of my childhood makes me swallow a lump in my throat.

“My father wouldn’t allow me to shift in front of others, he always said it was too dangerous. I guess he thought he was protecting me, and as for my... ability," I say slowly looking up at him from the board, "He didn’t approve of me using it, I was made to suppress it.” I suddenly see a look of something that looks like sympathy in his eyes, but that's absurd, especially with a man such as Ronan.

“Suppressing your spirit element, that must have been difficult for you.” Another move on the board has him sitting back with a questioning look,

“Spirit element, fire, earth, what’s the difference?” I shrug as I go to move my bishop, instantly realizing I'm running out of moves.

“There’s a huge difference actually, spirit elements are only granted to royal blood, like your mother, she was of royal witch like descent. Her children would have inherited her royal stature and element.”

"Children?" I'm suddenly frowning at him, "She only had one child, me as far as I know." And Ronan quickly looks down as he nods,

"Yes, that's correct. She only had one." Making another move, he swiftly takes my knight. Damn.

“Are you a spirit element?” I ask as I look up at him curiously, smirking he raises an amused grin at me,

“I’m something a little different.”

“Different how?” I respond suddenly intrigued.

“Let’s just say, that I don’t adhere to the pheeble ways of the witches,” furrowing my brows questioningly I’m suddenly confused by his cryptic response.

“But you are a witch right, within the witch’s realm, your kingdom filled with witches?”

“I am a King, and I rule my kingdom. My obligation is to rectify and purify our realm, to only have pure blood witches roam in it. Witches such as Lisbon, the Unseelie, they are not pure blood. And don’t forget, this realm isn’t only coveted by witches my dear girl, we have all sorts of interesting creatures that roam here.” Smirking I'm slowly starting to piece together the puzzle pieces, but it's like I'm missing at least half of them.

“And the witches under your own roof?” I go to move my queen. At this point I’ve lost almost half of my pieces, where as Ronan has only lost five.

“They are elemental powers, there’s a difference. You may refer to them as witches if you like, they do practice incantations, spells and all sorts of various methods of sorcery. But, at the end of the day, they are more than mere witches, and so are you.” He says as he slowly looks up at me, cocking a brow earnestly.

“I don’t know what I am, a hybrid." I say shaking my head, "I sometimes wish I could have just been one thing, life would have been kinder if I had been born just one thing, a wolf or a witch, but both, why would anybody want that kind of instability for a child.” Giving me a quizzical look he suddenly shrugs,

“If you were but a mere wolf, I would have to agree with you on that, but your not. You are a white wolf with spirit powers, the pure blood of your mother in this situation can overlook the blood of your father.” And I'm suddenly wondering what Ronan's angle is with this?

“Yes well, if I was only a wolf, then my mate wouldn’t be sitting with a curse over his head.” I suddenly retort irritably.

“By my understanding, your wolf mate isn’t just an ordinary wolf, he’s an ultima wolf, the last one of his kind.” He says suddenly moving his rook,

“Yes, and?”

“All I’m saying is, don’t wish away your elemental ability to be a normal wolf, when clearly he isn’t either.” And my brows furrow as I try and process what he’s getting at. “Instead consider becoming part of what I’ve established here, become one of my elemental powers.” And there it is, his angle, hes trying to get me to join his witch club.

“Part of your witches?” I respond completely taken aback.

“Part of my elemental powers, and yes, what’s so wrong with that?” Scoffing I cock a brow at him,

“For one I don’t like being controlled, and you are all about control.”

“Do you see the others complaining?" He asks raising a questioning brow at me, "And besides, they are not as controlled as you might believe, I do pull in the reigns whenever I see fit, can you imagine a bunch of teenage children being able to run completely rampant within this realm, with they're abilities, it would be catastrophic, they need guidance.”

“Guidance, or dictatorship?” Smirking he slowly sighs,

“You know, my elements are stronger with they’re twins by their sides. I’ve already lost two, it only weakens my defenses if I lose the strongholds within it. I only want what's best for them.” Frowning I'm suddenly wondering who the second element is that he's lost, making another move on the board I sit back and eye him warily, realizing quickly that I'm losing this game.

“Well I’m not a twin, so sorry, I don’t think I’ll be of much use to your stronghold.” Giving me a thoughtful look he suddenly smirks. The game continuing quietly for a few seconds longer before he suddenly speaks,

“My son broke every law by bringing you here without permission,”

“He didn’t bring me here, I came on my own.” I quickly retort.

“Regardless, he should be punished for his actions, don't you agree?” I’m suddenly glaring as I look up at him, uncontrollable blue swirls instantly dancing across my eyes.

“You will not touch him.” And instead of being infuriated by my sudden outburst, Ronan merely smirks smugly.

“You are so protective of him, aren’t you?” Swallowing hard I’m suddenly lowering my eyes, feeling instantly irritated by my own realization that I keep doing it, I keep sticking up for Atlas and wanting to protect him against my better judgement.

“You know why.” I softly mumble.

“Oh do I, how about you enlighten me as to why it is that you would so easily lie and place the death of my fire element on yourself for Atlas?” Suddenly looking up at him, I’m blinking twice in surprise. “What, you think I didn’t see right through you. I know a lot more than you think, dear Sasha.”

“It’s because he’s my fated witch mate, isn’t it?” Looking up at him I’m suddenly feeling very unsure, and irritable. His brows furrow in response as he watches me, and then, he suddenly sighs as he looks out towards the open french doors to his left.

"Atlas has grown up an only child, where the others have all had they're twins around them, he didn't have that privilege." Looking back at me he suddenly furrows his brows, "I do not have much faith in Atlas being with his fated mate one day, so I've taken it upon myself to choose him a mate and a bride, someone who is fitting for the role of Queen." Smirking I shake my head as I lower my eyes,

"You mean anyone but me, his true fated mate, is that it?" And it's not that I want to be fated to Atlas, but it's kinda pissing me off how Ronan in one breath refers to me as this rare creature who he wants to have join his witches club, and yet, I'm not good enough to be with his son, what a hypocrite.

“My son is already spoken for Sasha, now if you are looking for a witch mate in order to feel complete, I can suggest a few others, Noah, or perhaps Caleb?” And my head suddenly snaps up to him in shock and confusion,

“What, no, I wasn’t... that’s not what I meant. I don’t want a witch mate, I already have my...” Letting out a low chuckle he suddenly looks amused.

“What’s wrong with Noah, he seems to have taken quite a liking to you.” Gulping, I’m suddenly feeling this strange twist like feeling in my gut,

“As friends, yes. And there’s nothing wrong with Noah, we’re friends, but I don’t want him in that...”

“How about Caleb then?” He instantly cuts me off with a smug grin.

“What? No...”

“He’s a bit dark and mysterious I’ll give him that, but he’s one of my best elemental powers, obedient and trustworthy, always willing to get the job done at whatever cost.” My jaw suddenly drops as I stare at him in shock,

“I don’t want any of your elements as a mate, that’s not what I meant...” I'm suddenly sitting up straight, a slight bit of panic and frustration coursing through my veins all at the same time. Is it suddenly getting hot in here?

“So what did you mean?” He’s suddenly bemused.

“I only meant that I think that’s why... with Atlas, I don’t want him as a mate. I just can’t help feeling protective of him, it’s all very confusing.” And I’m suddenly rubbing the wolf cuffs which are pressing against my wrists, which only irritates and confuses me more.

There’s a long unspoken moment between us, I’m merely sitting there agonizing over what this thing with Atlas means, because after what he did to me, the only thing I want to do is punch him in the face. And yet, I can’t bring myself to hurt him. Confusing. Sighing deeply Ronan's brows furrow when he looks at me,

“I tell you what, I’ve got to leave for a week, urgent matters with the Seelie court that needs my attention. When I return, we can further discuss this matter. In the meantime, I will ask Circen to take you and show you around the castle, I’m sure you’re probably feeling the onset of cabin fever in here by now.” Nodding, I’m clenching my jaw when I look up at him, my brows knitted together in confusion.

"Ronan, I need to free my mate from Lisbon's curse. He can't change into his beast, he can't run a pack like that, and it's all my fault." His brows suddenly come together as he thinks it over for a few seconds,

"When I get back, we can discuss your wolf mate, and Lisbon." Mouthing the word "Thank you," I suddenly have this burning question lingering at the back of my mind,

“Why are you being nice to me all of a sudden?” Smirking he grins devilishly,

“Don’t make the mistake in thinking I’m nice, dear Sasha. Besides, nice guys finish last.” He winks, the moment he moves his queen right up to my king, gently knocking him over. only then do I realize that he’s completely blocked me in.

“Check mate, my dear.” He says gingerly before getting up and giving me one last lopsided grin before excusing himself and leaving the room, and I’m just sitting staring at my king laying on it's side with a frown.

Something tells me that I just lost to something far more complicated than a chess game.