I am Sam
Chapter Five

I’ve been standing in front of him for the last few minutes contemplating whether or not to poke the bear; Atlas passed out on the couch after downing his umteenth drink of choice.

He was pissed over me not telling him about Ronan coming to see me, but what I said when he put me on the spot got to him when I told him the fabricated lie about Noah and me.

Noah reassured me that I didn’t need to worry, that Atlas wouldn’t do anything to him. But honestly, after seeing the look in his eyes and how he was glaring at Noah, I couldn’t help but feel concerned and worried.

Circen and Caleb were the first to leave here after quite a few drinks; dark and mysterious does seem to have a lighter side to him it seems, not by much, but I saw a smile under that hooded veil of hair covering his face.

The moment he scooped Circen up onto his back, he even chuckled, albeit it was still a dark chuckle that would otherwise scare the crap out of anyone who didn’t know him, but at least he’s not a complete dark force. And by the way he was holding onto Circen; it was obvious that things were back on with those two.

Noah draped his arm over my shoulder as we both stood staring at Atlas, wholly passed out, looking down at him. He looks so peaceful and innocent, and the feeling I get deep in my belly instantly irritates me; the damn mate bond I guess.

“Well, I’m not moving him.” He says cocking me an apologetic look,

“Me neither,” Liam grumbles as he comes to stand right beside Noah. Rolling my eyes at them, I suddenly let out a puff of air,

“You guys can’t leave him here; what if he wakes up?” The thought of him waking up in my room has me feeling uneasy. Great.

“If he wakes up, then just tell him to leave, but Atlas isn’t someone you wake up from his sleep unless you want to risk losing your life,” Noah says, scoffing. Groaning, I’m suddenly leaning into him because, let’s face it, I’m stuck all alone with Atlas in my room if I can’t get him to move. Pulling me close to him, Noah places a soft kiss against my head,

“You could always come sleep in my room, really give him something to explode about when he wakes up,” He teases, and I'm pulling away to give him a questioning look; when he suddenly gives me a cheeky wink and a smile. Letting out a chuckle, I roll my eyes at him,

“And risk world war three breaking out in the castle, I think I prefer your head stuck on your body if it’s all the same.” nodding, he shrugs with that same goofy smile on his face,

“Well, the offer still stands if you need it.”

“Thanks, but I should be able to throw him out when he wakes up; now both of you get going, I need to sleep.” shoving his arm, I start walking them both to the door; Noah suddenly turns around and catches me off guard when he pulls me into a warm hug,

“Just don’t let him mess with your head, okay?” He whispers against my ear, nodding. I pull back slightly to plant a soft kiss against his cheek; the concern in his eyes when I look up at him instantly warms my heart, Noah is quickly becoming like a brother to me, and I’m suddenly missing Don, the ache of losing my brother still fresh in my mind.

~

Smirking to myself, I’m swaying a bit off balance as I watch Atlas; he’s still passed out, and I’ve had way too much to drink for my first time. I can’t see him waking up soon, but I need him to leave. I’m suddenly yawning, I want to sleep, but I can’t. Should I wake him and tell him to go, or; suddenly looking down at the cuff around my wrist, I clench my jaw tight. Disdain suddenly rises in my throat like a hot iron when I think about what he did; the moment I look back at him, I suddenly have an ominous grin creeping up at the corners of my mouth. ‘You took something from me; now I’ll take something from you.’

The moment I stagger back from the bathroom, I’m clutching onto my weapon of choice, the cogs turning into motion. My body feels a bit heavy, and honestly, I should laugh off this crazy idea, I know I’m going to regret it come morning, but he was the one who made the mistake of passing out in my room, right?

Bending down, I slowly slide closer to him onto my knees; suddenly right up close to him; and I bite my lower lip as I gently move a strand of his hair away from his face. An instant tingle of energy flowing down my fingertips when the soft strands touch my skin elicits a small gasp from me; if I’m going to do this, then I better do it now before I lose my nerve.

~

“What the fuck, Sasha, what did you do?!”

I suddenly jolt up in bed at the sound of Atlas’s voice thundering across the room; my head is spinning like I have vertigo or something; the moment it all comes crashing down on me, my eyes widen in horror. Atlas, his hair, shit, what have I done?

My eyes collide with him coming at me with a fierce driving force, and I’m suddenly bolting out of bed and sprinting for the door. Noah’s offer suddenly sounds like a pretty damn good idea now. I’m seconds away from freedom when he grabs hold of my arm and slams me up against the door with force, caging me in with one arm right beside my face.

My eyes are wide as I stare into his; he’s pissed, scowling and glaring at me through his dark hooded eyes.

I’m suddenly regretting my foolish idea until my eyes drift up to his hair, and I suddenly can’t help the fit of giggles erupting from me, I’m trying to hold them in as I cup my hand over my mouth, but I can’t. He looks so... I mean, even with fierce anger spread across his face, I still can’t take him seriously.

A glint in his eyes suddenly has me pinned when the corners of his mouth turn into a sarcastic grin, “Oh, you think this is funny, do you? Is this some pay pack?” And I’m doing all that I can to stop myself from smirking. Giving me another pinning stare, he suddenly shakes his head as he scoffs before letting go of me; he’s scrubbing his hands through his new shorter hairstyle, groaning, “I’ve never had short hair,” when I suddenly see an opportunity and gap it for the bathroom.

I’m suddenly sprinting; I’m almost there, but it’s like Atlas has super speed or something; what the hell? He grabs my leg, which instantly has me losing my footing and falling to the floor; he’s on top of me in an instant, pinning my hands down just above my head. I’m squealing as I try and break free, but he holds me down, pushing himself forward against me; we’re both a panting mess when he let’s out a low chuckle,

“You’re something else; you know that?” And the moment I snigger, he suddenly does too as he lets go of my wrists and reaches for my sides, “I’ll show you funny,” he murmurs as he suddenly starts tickling me, I’m shrieking with laughter as I wriggle around, and he’s laughing just as hard with me. I can’t take any more when I suddenly shout,

“Okay, I’m sorry, I surrender, please stop, please...” The moment he stops, his forehead presses against mine, and we’re both panting as we look into each other’s eyes. Swallowing hard, I suddenly can’t ignore the tingly sensation running up and down my body, his body is pinning mine down to the ground, and I can feel his hard-on pressing against my inner thigh.

“You cut my hair,” He breathes against my ear, swallowing hard. I can only nod. “So now I want something in return,” His breath gently fanning my cheek suddenly sparks something deep inside my belly,

“What do you want?” I whisper, regretting the question the moment it leaves my lips.

“A kiss,” he breathes as his lips hover ever closer to mine, and a sudden jolt of energy ignites within my core.

“I don’t want to kiss you,” I breathe, but the sudden blue spark in my eyes betrays me. His lips turn into a confident smirk when they slowly brush up against mine, “Liar.”

I’ve suddenly got heat pooling between my legs, and I can tell that he senses my arousal the moment I see a power blue shimmer dancing across his eyes.

“I’m not lying.” I say breathlessly, smirking; he gives me a teasing grin, “Prove it.”

“W-what?” I’m suddenly blinking back with uncertainty,

“Prove that you don’t want to kiss me.” I’m giving him a questioning look as my brows draw together, “H-how?”

“Kiss me, prove to me that you don’t like it,” He breathes against my lips, and a sudden spark shoots right down to my belly, which instantly has a small gasp escaping my lips.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how that works.” I groan, trying desperately to cling to any form of self-control while keeping it light-hearted, but my head is still swimming from the amount of alcohol I consumed, and my body still feels like it’s floating in the air, so every rational part of my brain that’s telling me no, is being drowned out by the desire just to let go.

“Are you scared?” He suddenly breathes against my ear, and the sudden jolt of tingles from that one action instantly sends shivers down my spine; shaking my head, I swallow back that building desire, “I’m not scared."

“Then prove it.” And I know I’m in trouble the moment the word “Fine” escapes my lips in a breath; I quickly recover with, “One kiss and then you get off and drop it, okay.” Grinding my teeth, I’m hanging on to the last threads of my resistance right now.

“Deal.” He grins, softly nudging his nose against mine.

Taking a deep breath, I try not to think as I quickly push my face forward, pecking him on the lips and pulling away so fast that it hardly leaves any chance for either of us to feel a thing. As I pull away, I slowly open my eyes to look at him; blinking back a bemused look, he scoffs at me,

“What was that?” The sudden exasperation in his voice has his brows furrowing in response,

“What you asked for.” I breathe, biting down against my lower lip with a grin.

“I said a kiss Sasha, not a peck; that doesn’t count.”

“What more do you want?” I breathe out, knowing all too well what he wants, but trying to feign innocence as I pretend I have no idea what else he’s after. Giving me a willful grin, he gently runs his fingers down the side of my jawline, a soft gasp escaping my lips when he whispers, “This,”

His lips suddenly brush up against mine, soft and warm as I taste his breath. He smirks with a cheeky grin when he gently bites down against my bottom lip, eliciting a soft moan from my throat, my body’s betraying me, and I know I need to stop this, but I just can’t.

When his lips finally touch against mine, an electric spark suddenly shoots to my core. I’m instantly wet between my legs when his tongue starts tracing along the outer edge of my lips, and a soft gasp suddenly has my lips parting in response. Do I want this? Do I want him in this way?

My lips part, and it’s like an open invitation for him as he suddenly claims my mouth, his tongue diving in and coaxing mine to come to him. Moaning into his mouth, I suddenly breathe his name, and I suddenly have the strangest feeling come over me; it’s hard to explain, especially with how he’s kissing me, it’s like standing outside of your own body looking back in, I’ve never felt anything like it before in my life.

Soft tingles suddenly have my body moving in response, my lips moving on their own accord, my own lips softly tasting his. Every part of me wants to let go, explore where this could go, and know what this is with him. But something keeps pulling me back, an image, it’s Wolf.

Suddenly breaking the kiss, I push against his chest, gasping for air. My bottom lip suddenly begins to tremble as I stare bewildered into his lust-full eyes. Swallowing the sudden lump in my throat, I’m shaking my head, my face contorting like I’m in pain.

“I can’t, I’m sorry, I can’t...”

Pushing him away, he suddenly rolls onto his back with a groan of frustration, scrubbing his hands over his face as he lays there. I’m up on my feet, and I’m suddenly furious with myself, clenching my fists tightly by my side as I take a few steps away from him; I’m trembling with anger; what am I doing? What the hell am I doing?

“This isn’t why I came here, Atlas, making out with you on the floor of my room,”

“I would hardly call this making out, Sasha.” He huffs irritably, and I’m suddenly spinning around to face him as he stands up and turns to face me,

“Is this all some joke to you? You ignore me for two weeks, cuff my wolf and then kiss me like we’re...”

“Mates.” He finishes my sentence with an indignant stare, “Because that’s what we are, Sasha, that’s who we are to each other, like it or not, I’m your mate, and I’m sorry if that doesn’t gel with your perfect happily ever after, but it’s what it is.”

“I’m not yours, Atlas. I have a mate, I have Wolf,” I’m almost shouting the words at him in frustration. He’s suddenly in my face as anger rolls off of him in waves, his eyes pinning mine hard when he shouts back,

“Then fucking reject me, Sasha, do it, tell me you don’t want me. I’ve waited all these two weeks for you to do it, anticipating the gutwrenching pain to slice through me at any moment, but it never came because you never did it; there’s a reason for it, you want me, and you know it!”

“Stop it!” I shout back as tears suddenly spring from my eyes,

“No! I won’t stop until you admit it; you feel it, the bond we share, it’s real, and you feel it, admit it!” I’m suddenly blinking back the tears as I take a step back, shaking my head. I’m pleading with him to stop; it’s all too much. I can’t do this; this isn’t fair.

“No?” He asks in aggravation as he steps towards me, “You don’t want to answer me. You’re going to play that childish game.” He’s closing the gap between us, and I feel like I can’t breathe,

“Please, stop; I can’t...”

“Then do it! Reject me if you don’t want to admit it.” He’s staring me down as his entire body tenses in anticipation. Shaking my head, I’m suddenly screaming in his face,

“I HATE YOU!” I’m sobbing as I stand there, expecting him to back off, but he doesn’t. Instead, he comes at me and grips me around my throat, suddenly shoving me against the wall behind me as he rests his forehead against mine,

“You can’t say it can you? Because you know it’s true; you feel it.” Gripping my hand with his, he forcibly intertwines his fingers with mine. “Feel it, just feel it, Sasha.” And he suddenly has tears shimmering behind his eyes,

“Atlas,” I breathe as my hand reaches out to touch his cheek, “I don’t want to hurt you,” My voice suddenly sounds small as it breaks; looking up at him, my bottom lip is quivering as I suddenly feel his heartache as if it’s my own.

“You don’t want to hurt me,” He scoffs as he shakes his head in irritation, “Every fucking day I’ve spent without you has hurt me. Do you know what it feels like to know that someone is out there linked to your soul? To replace your fated mate and be told you are not allowed to have her, that was my reality from the moment I learnt that you existed.”

“I...” But he suddenly cuts me off as he shakes his head,

“All the others had their twins for comfort, and I had you; even though I couldn’t physically be with you, you were still there until Ronan forced me to stop linking you. The moment I finally broke away to come and replace you, I replace out that you are mated to someone else.” Looking deep into my eyes, he suddenly swallows down hard, like it physically pains him to think about it. “It’s not fair; you were mine long before you became his. And I know that you belong to him, but you belong to me too, and why should I have to be the one to walk away.” Slowly coming to rest his forehead against mine, he slowly sighs, “I’ve loved you longer, but who the fuck cares right, because he loves you more.”

My mouth suddenly goes slack, a deep raw ache slicing through my chest; I can feel what he feels because we’re connected, and I suddenly feel like I’m the monster. He’s about to pull back and move away when the sudden emptiness between us has me launching myself toward him in panic, my hands flying up to his hair as I smash my lips to his with urgency.

He stumbles back, entirely taken by surprise, but he quickly recovers as he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me into him as he steps forward to slam me back against the wall.

“Sasha...” He groans into my mouth as he begins devouring me, a clash of lips and teeth as his hands suddenly replace their way under my shirt, cupping my breasts and squeezing. I’m suddenly moaning into his mouth. Our tongues are tasting and exploring each other’s mouths like we’re trying to map out our souls somehow. I know him, and he knows me; we’ve known each other since we were born; the thought of it sounds so weird.

And as he pushes up against me, his one hand slowly begins to dip below my naval. I’m swallowing hard. Can I do this? Can I give myself to him when the only man my soul truly belongs to is Wolf?

But Atlas is my mate too; he’s also mine; how can I push him away and force him to spend the rest of his life without this? He swallows my moan as he starts grinding up against me, and I know I shouldn’t want this, should I? I don’t know what to think at this moment; my mind is too clouded right now; the moment his hand dips into my sleeping shorts and replaces my most sensitive spot, he slowly starts circling it with his thumb, and my legs lift to wrap around his waist as I moan into his mouth, he’s still grinding against me when a sudden electrical swirl of blue begins to form around us, it’s in his eyes, coursing through his arms and all around, I can feel it, it’s so warm that it’s almost burning as it’s zapping sparks of electricity through me.

“Ronan said I couldn’t have you, that I wasn’t allowed to claim you, fuck Ronan,” He groans into my mouth as he keeps drawing circles around my most sensitive bit, I can feel myself climbing higher and higher, my breathing getting more difficult with every second.

Something strange begins to happen, I can feel my wolf pushing to the surface all of a sudden; I’m suddenly feeling confused as to what she’s doing. It’s like she’s creeping closer and closer, and I can suddenly feel my canines begin to descend as she suddenly peers through my eyes, holy shit, does she want to mark him?

I’m still trying to process what’s happening when I suddenly hear her snarl as she bears her canines. A sudden jolt shoots through my body the moment my wolf explodes against my ribcage, slamming forward as hard as she can, and I can feel two of my ribs snap with the impact.

“Urgh!” I suddenly groan out in pain, but she doesn’t let up. She lunges forward at Atlas with everything she’s got, a deep and threatening growl suddenly erupting from my chest as I bear my canines. Atlas staggers back and almost falls on his behind as he blinks back the shock and confusion in his eyes; I’m unable to control her, unable to reign her in; it’s like she’s taken complete control and shoved me so far back that I can’t even reach her.

I’m screaming at her in my head, yelling for her to stop, but the only thing she keeps chanting in my head over and over is,

‘WOLF, MATE, WOLF...’ She’s right there in my eyes as she growls at Atlas, the utter shock on his face as he stares at me, at her. And I’m helpless to stop her. Her growl is deep and threatening, yet she’s not attacking; it’s like she’s holding back, and I realize she does not want to hurt him, just keep him away from me.

Atlas is still standing there frozen when he calmly speaks to her,

“Hey girl, it’s okay; I know you’re pissed off with me over the cuffs. It’s alright, calm down.” He’s trying to stay calm, trying to mollify her, but she instantly growls again, and he suddenly pleads with me, “Sasha, you need to calm your wolf down,” His hands are up in what looks like surrender as he lowers his head slightly and takes a slow, steady step towards her, But she refuses, Atlas’s presence only irks her more, to the point that she suddenly attempts to shift. The agonizing pain instantly shoots through me as I scream at her to stop.

A guttural scream suddenly erupts from my throat as I go to drop to my knees, but Atlas suddenly grabs me as he presses his thumb to the centre of my forehead, whispering the word, “Smiriti.” She instantly begins to calm down and I’m finally able to take back control as I shove her back hard.

“Sasha!” Atlas suddenly scoops me into his arms as my entire body goes limp, soft whimpers escaping me as tears suddenly begin falling from my eyes, sobs and confusion swirling around my head as I try to make sense of what just happened.

“Atlas, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why...” My voice is hoarse from all her deep growling, but instead of being mad, he’s cooing softly against my ear as he pulls me up into his arms, cradling me against his chest. He slowly stands up.

“It’s okay,” He says, trying to soothe me, but I’m suddenly feeling frantic.

“It’s not okay, she nearly attacked you.” I sob, wiping away at my tears as I shake my head,

“But she didn’t; she’s pissed off with me about the cuffs; it’s fine, shh, we’ll just take things slow with her,” he whispers into my hair, holding me tightly against his body as he slowly begins moving towards the bed.

My wolf has never done that before; never has she shoved me aside like that and claimed dominance in that way; it was terrifying; she wanted to rip Atlas’s head off if he dared to touch me, but why, he’s my witch mate?

Atlas carefully lays me down against the bed, so I’m lying on my back; I feel the pain of my cracked ribs, groaning my hands instantly wrap around to where the pain is.

“Keep still,” He says calmly as he lifts my shirt just enough to replace the purple bruising against my ribs, wincing back the pain; it hurts like a bitch, I won’t lie. He slowly places his hands against my ribs, and as I focus on him, I suddenly see the power blue begin to electrify his hands; his eyes are also shimmering as he concentrates on where his hands are.

I’m still confused when he suddenly pulls his hands away, and my eyes widen when I notice that the purple bruising is all gone, wait, did he heal my ribs faster than my shifter power could?

Looking over at me, he slowly smiles, “Better?”

Nodding, my brows are furrowed in confusion, “How did you...?”

“I’m a spirit element; remember, you can also do it; we can heal people.” And my jaw goes slack as I stare at him, no way we can heal people.

He slowly pulls away like he’s about to get up, and the sudden loss of contact instantly has panic creeping into my chest; I’m suddenly pulling him back to me, my eyes widening as I stare up at him.

“Don’t leave me,” I’m still completely freaked out by what my wolf just did; Atlas merely gives me a reassuring smile,

“I wasn’t going to leave,” He says softly before climbing in next to me; wrapping his arms around me, he firmly pulls me against his hard chest. The heat of his body instantly soothes me, and my breathing begins to slow as my body finally relaxes into him. A calm begins to take over my body as my eyes start to close; I’m suddenly feeling completely drained, my eyelids feeling so heavy as I listen to Atlas’s steady heartbeat beating against my ear.

I’m slowly drifting off to sleep when I feel his lips come close to my ear, his breathing soothing me even more when he whispers,

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”