I am Wolf
Chapter Nineteen

SASHA

I watch him walk away, and a sudden ache begins to form with every step he takes; the second he rounds a corner and I lose all track of him, I blow out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I swallow hard at a lump forming in my throat, and being alone like this suddenly forces me to think about what happened. Wolf’s presence has been the only thing distracting me from the horrific events that have me hating myself.

I’m the reason they’re gone; it’s because of me, what’s inside of me, the damaged part even my father felt repulsed and disgusted by. Closing my eyes momentarily, I try to block it out as I push my back against the closed door, but I can’t. I should make a run for it; I have a good enough idea of where exactly I am, not that I’m all too familiar with this old mine shaft. Still, home isn’t too far away from here; if I shift and make a run for it now, I’ll be gone before anyone even notices. I mean, no one is even around to watch over me, and Wolf so quickly left me here by myself, trusting that I would do as he said and lock myself in this room.

Every inch of me wants to run, shift, and disappear, but I can’t; where would I go, back to Erebus, back to where my father kept me under house arrest for being different? It rips me apart over and over as I relive the events from last night, but what hurts the most is that my father has always resented me for what I am. The truth is, I don’t even know what I am; all I know is that I’m broken. Because of it, my father would have gladly offered me up to become mated to someone in our pack who could contain what’s inside, someone I could never love.

Chandler.

My soul is already connected to Wolf, and I don’t care that he’s a mutt. There’s something inside him, something I trust, and as broken as my heart is, as much as I want to break down crying over everything that’s happened, it’s Wolf who is keeping me together; he’s the only one who calms the madness in my head.

I’m still lost in the inner turmoil of the devastation I have brought upon my pack when an eerie feeling of being watched has the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.

I’m suddenly feeling scared and alone. Having Wolf with me is helping to keep the broken, shattered pieces together somehow; however, without him, I’m nothing but the girl who doomed her entire pack because of what lurks inside.

I suddenly feel uneasy, so I quickly turn to open the door to Wolf’s room; it’s then that I sense her, the other she-mutt from before. She’s behind me, and my first instinct is the growl of my wolf that suddenly reverberates through me; I’m the daughter of an alpha, and it’s just instinct for my wolf to react this way.

Turning around to face her, I’m suddenly met with a cold, hard stare as she stands with her arms crossed over her chest; she’s a little bit taller than I am, but not much. Her dark hair hangs down her back, and I suppose she could be pretty if it weren’t for her resting bitch face, but it’s her cold dark eyes that suddenly have my wolf on edge.

“Bet you think you’re exceptional, huh?” Her voice is laced with such disdain that it has me tilting my head bemused as I furrow my brows; what exactly did I do to her for her to look at me like I’m the dirt under her shoes?

“If being held captive against your will is what you define as special, then you and I have a different perspective of the word special.” Scoffing, she steps toward me, and her wolf begins swirling around in her eyes.

“Don’t try and act smart with me; you know exactly what I’m talking about,” She sneers as her wolf swirls violently behind her eyes,

“No, actually, I don’t. Why don’t you enlighten me?” I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest. She stares at me long and hard for a minute and then scoffs when she shakes her head,

“I’m just going to tell you straight: Wolf is mine. I don’t know what you think this thing is you’ve suddenly got going with him, but the only reason he’s being “nice” to you,” She sneers while making air quotes, “Is because he’s being forced to. If he doesn’t, Caius will kill him.”

Smirking, I can’t help narrowing my eyes on her as I clench my jaw, so that’s her angle. She has a thing for Wolf, and that’s why she hates me; it all suddenly makes sense,

“Oh, really?” I finally mutter in amusement because if she thinks I’m about to back down, she has another thing coming. I am alpha blood, and Wolf is my mate.

“Yes, really.” She snaps. “He’s just doing it because Caius cursed his ass with that dog tag around his neck. He’s not really into you, honey; you’re just a bit of fun on the sideline until Caius takes what he wants from you.” That part gets my attention, and my wolf ripples beneath the surface of my skin. I stare her dead in the eye as she glares daggers at me; the thing is, I’m an alpha female, and I won’t be intimidated by her or her delusional fictional claim over Wolf.

Mine.

“Shouldn’t Wolf get to decide what he wants?”

“He already has, and he chose me.” She smirks wickedly as she narrows her eyes, and I’m expecting her to at least make a move to come at me if I piss her off so badly, but she doesn’t, and I can’t help wondering why that is?

“Of course,” I finally nod, raising a quizzical brow at her. “And that’s why you’re standing before me now like an insecure she-mutt who doesn’t stand a chance against an alpha female.”

That suddenly pushes her over the edge when a growl reverberates through her as she glares at me, which only makes me smirk with amusement. I’m not a pushover; I may be smaller than her and look timid, but my wolf bites hard.

“Talk all you want, but Wolf has been mine since we were kids; who do you think taught him how to fuck... wild and rough, just the way he likes it.”

Swallowing a sudden lump in my throat, I feel a pang of hurt in my chest. To imagine Wolf being with this she-mutt has a sting of jealousy coursing up in my chest. I guess she has one up on me in this case because I haven’t been with a guy, and I can’t even lie and say that I have. Instead of backing down from this bitch, I decided to take a step towards her, to challenge her and see what she does. I refuse to back down from her; I wasn’t raised that way. I’m still lost in thought when she grumbles,

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already gotten what he wanted from you and comes knocking on my door again tonight because you couldn’t satisfy him like I do.”

My head snaps up to hers when my eyes narrow, a low growl rumbling up my throat as my wolf swirls around in my eyes. Glaring at her, I feel my wolf rippling through my body; I’m shivering inside, forcing all the inner strength of self-control to the surface. Right now, all I want is to gauge her eyes out.

Giving a cackling laugh, she suddenly spins around, clearly satisfied by the reaction she got from me, or lack of. I’m not too sure, and I’m instantly feeling sick to my stomach.

Is it true? Is Wolf just being nice to me because he has to? Is he sleeping with this she-mutt and just having fun with me?

Forcing those thoughts into the back of my head, I quickly open the door and enter the room. Closing the door, Wolf’s strong musk, iron, and oak scent completely engulfed me, making me feel safe and calm within seconds.

I let out a relieved sigh as my wolf began calming down, and I knew I was in uncharted territory. Still, I have to believe that fate brought us together for a reason and that Wolf wouldn’t just use me like that she-mutt said.

My body is still shaking as I force my wolf back; taking slow and deep breaths, I move towards his bed and don’t even think twice before climbing under the covers as I wrap them around myself. I need to calm my breathing down for a second; envisioning Wolf with that she-mutt has bile rising up in my throat as flames burn all the way up into my chest.

I close my eyes for a moment, breathing in his scent as it engulfs me completely. It’s like a drug to me, and I can’t help but fall into a deep sleep as I force all the hurt I’m feeling to the pit of my stomach. I want to leave this place and go home, but I’m not going anywhere without Wolf.

He’s the one my soul craves more than oxygen.