I Dare You To Meet Me
Chapter 10

-Natasha White?

The teacher’s voice made me stop taking notes and look at her with irritation.

-Kozlov, my name is Natasha Kozlov, my mother and I changed my last name last year.

I push my glasses up on the bridge of my nose as I answer the bitter old woman who has been boring me with her lesson for the last hour.

-Miss Kozlov, the principal demands your presence in his office, so take your things and go.

My brow furrows at his words, but I shrug my shoulders before I begin to pack my things in my backpack. Once I finished that task, I stood up from my seat that was at the back of the room and headed for the door, without saying goodbye to anyone, since I didn’t really have any friends at school, I started walking to the office.

Without any haste I took my time getting there, I swayed through the halls as my hands caressed the lockers as I passed by, my eyes wandering over the posters and banners supporting the school’s football team who had a very important game this Friday.

I couldn’t stop my lips from twisting into a grimace, it seemed like a waste of time, unless my classmates were planning to dedicate their whole lives to the sport, I couldn’t understand how anyone would waste their free time like that, apart from putting their health at risk.

I shook my head, I would never be so stupid as to put my future at risk, as the only daughter, granddaughter, and direct heir of the Kozlov family, it was my duty to take care of all the family business when the time came, so unlike the others, I could not afford to slack off like a teenager.

I wasn’t just anyone, and I couldn’t wait to teach the world everything I was learning.

-Good morning, how can I help you, miss?

The voice of the secretary took me out of the cloud in which I had my head, I put my backpack on my shoulders and answered.

-The director sent for me.

The smile disappeared from the lady’s face.

-Are you Natasha White?

My teeth clenched and I gave her one of my deadliest looks.

-Kozlov, my name is Natasha Kozlov, I only use my mother’s maiden name.

I emphasized the words to make it clear to her, she nodded.

-You can come in, the director is waiting for you in his office.

-Thank you.

I turned on my heels and followed my way to the wooden door at the back of the office, I didn’t waste time, I knocked firmly to announce my arrival and without waiting for an answer I opened the door.

-You sent for me, director?

But the words died in my mouth when I saw my old director sitting behind his huge mahogany desk, surrounded by two men, one wearing a state police uniform and the other an impeccable black suit. All three had serious faces, and it set off alarm bells for me.

-Is everything all right, what happened? I asked with my heart pounding in my chest.

-Sit down Natasha. My director spoke with an affable voice. But I shook my head and dropped my backpack on the chair in front of the desk.

-I would like to stand. I murmured worriedly.

The officer cleared his throat and gave me a soft but firm look.

-We ask you to please take a seat, miss.

I swallowed the lump in my throat but stood to my full height and swept my eyes over the three men in the room before answering.

-Whatever you need to communicate to me I will hear it while standing, as far as I know, standing here does not impede or obstruct my hearing in any way, so I ask you to please stop all protocol and tell me once and for all what is going on. I said it without hesitation although my voice was cut off at the end of the sentence, I knew that if grandfather had heard me he would be proud of not letting me be scared by the situation.

The director opened his mouth to reprimand me for my comment, but the man in the suit cleared his throat to get my attention, his chocolate eyes scanned me up and down and gave me a look full of pity.

-Miss White, my name is Aleksei Romanov and I am an agent of the Russian Central Intelligence, the officer with me is Domenico Vulgarov, and we would like to ask you a couple of questions.

I went through his words one by one trying to guess the reason why I was taken out of class but I couldn’t guess so I could only nod.

-Kozlov, Natasha Kozlov, I just use my mother’s maiden name, but everyone calls me Tasha, you can do that too, officer.

He nodded once, his body moved and soon he was in front of me with his h*p resting on the edge of the desk.

-Who are your legal guardians?

-My mother. I answered quickly.

-And his father?

-I never knew him. I lied, no, I had no relationship with that man. The agent looked at me not very convinced but continued with his interrogation.

-Do you have any relatives besides your mother?

I saw him not sure where he was going with this conversation, I didn’t want to answer but I knew that was not an option.

-My maternal grandparents.

-Anyone else?” He continued to press.

I gave him a hard look before I shook my head, the officer sighed and shared a look with the officer behind him who quickly communicated some sort of code through the radio he was carrying.

-What is going on, why are you asking about my family? I felt my breakfast come back to my throat. Little did I know that the next words that would come from the agent’s lips would change the course of my life forever.

-I regret to inform you that this morning, at approximately ten o’clock, the cars in which Miss Kozlov and Mr. and Mrs. Kozlov were traveling were involved in an accident on the highway. Before he finished his sentence my head began to spin and an annoying buzzing sound was drilling my ears, my hands held the back of the chair in front of me while I took a deep breath trying in vain to control the panic that was whipping my heart.

-My mom, my grandparents, where are they, are they okay, what happened? The questions came pouring out. The agent looked at me with pity before shaking his head.

-There was an accident, a truck in the oncoming lane suffered a flat tire, due to the high speed at which it was going, the driver lost control of the vehicle, it derailed towards where the caravan of his family and others were traveling. The impact knocked them off the road, while others were crushed by the weight. There were not many survivors, I’m sorry.

Tears were already spilling from my eyes and sobs escaped from my mouth, I felt torn, my heart ached, my hands and legs trembled, I was unable to formulate a thought.

My mom, my grandmother, my grandfather, dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead, dead, dead, dead.

DEAD.

ARE DEAD.

The next thing I knew the officer was hugging me, and my throat hurt, I didn’t know when I started screaming, but the echo of my voice still echoed in the small space.

-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you are lying, my family cannot be…- My tongue failed to say the word as more sobs came out of me- It is a lie, it is a lie, they were just going to a meeting as usual, I will see them in the evening, and they will prove how you are just telling lies-.

I spoke with desperation.

-Tasha, we are really sorry. I don’t know who said those words to me but my head was shaking frantically as I shook in the arms of Agent Romanov.

-What about the driver, the people who accompanied them, my family never went out without proper security, there must be a mistake. I said in despair.

-The security agents died with them, only one survived, but he is seriously injured in the city’s general hospital, the driver who caused the accident also died instantly at the beginning of it all.

My head was spinning as I worked at full speed. It was all over, the afternoons cooking with mom, the wise advice from my grandfather, the afternoons shopping with grandma, the family meals, the k****s on my mom’s forehead, the words of love from the three of us.

All of it.

I had lost it all.

An idea flashed through my mind. The company, my house, everything that belonged to us. My eyes were still shedding tears, but now that my mind had something to hold on to, I began to make a plan.

I needed to talk to the family lawyers, I needed access to the bank accounts, I needed to give them a proper funeral, I needed to see them with my own eyes, I needed to say goodbye, I needed to get everything in order, I needed to make sure they had everything they wanted, I needed, needed, needed….

I needed a hug from them and to be told that everything was going to be okay.

But that would never happen now, would it?

-Officer Vulgarov will take you to the station, we need to take the data and then recognize the bodies of your family, do you feel able to do it or would you prefer an acquaintance of your family to do it? My head shook in a negative.

No no, no one would touch them, or see them in that state but me.

…We Kozlov are a powerful family, we must always be at the height of any situation Tasha, no matter how gray the sky is, a Kozlov never bows before adversities, he faces them with his eyes up high and pride in his heart…

My grandfather’s words echoed in my mind, looking for strength where I had none, I sat up and gave a serious look to agent Romanov, my eyes did not stop shedding tears, but my voice came out firm and confident.

-I am an agent Kozlov, and I will not allow anyone but me to see my family in such a state, I ask you please to be so kind and let me communicate with our lawyers, if what you say is true, I need to keep the paparazzi at bay, I do not want this to become a scandal. My mother and grandparents will be treated with the utmost respect at all times.

I could sense a spark of pride in the three men, but I didn’t care, I wasn’t doing it for them. My family would have expected me to behave up to par, and that’s exactly what I was going to do.

I was going to honor them in every step I took, in every breath I inhaled, in every decision I made.

I was going to honor their memories forever.

The agent and the officer led me out of the school, and as I walked through the halls I couldn’t help but see everything around me with different eyes.

Everything seemed so different now, so distant, so opaque.

But nothing had changed for the world.

The one who was different was me.

And even if I was never any good for nothing, I didn’t feel ready to face the reality that would hit me when I arrived at the morgue and saw them lying there, lifeless.

How would I get home while waiting for them for dinner knowing that they would never come, how would I get over the fact that I would never hear a scolding from them again, or that I would never feel safe and loved in one of their embraces again, how could I get over the fact that I would never feel safe and loved in one of their hugs again?

How could I get over the fact that I was now alone?

All alone.

My father’s face flashed in my eyes, but I dismissed the image in a second, no, that man was nothing to me, he had abandoned me once, he no longer wanted to know anything about me and I had no doubt that things would stay the same.

I no longer had anyone.

I never had a boyfriend because no one ever called my attention, I had no real friends, everyone approached me out of interest, the associates of my family were opportunists.

Alone.

Alone.

I was alone.

And that tore my soul.

A wound that would never heal, even if years and decades passed.

I would never forget that feeling.

The feeling of incompleteness.

It was something that would stay with me for the rest of my days.

Alone.

I was alone.

ALONE.