I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him – Chapter 5

No sound comes out of my mouth, you could say that her almost perfect beauty doesn’t help me pull myself together. The faint light of the moon delicately illuminates his face despite the darkness, I can clearly see his steel blue eyes, he scrutinizes me for a long time waiting for me to speak.

— I.. uh,..I wanted to.

Awesome ! I can no longer string two words together, a grin appears on his thin lips and he growls shamefully.

— Thank you for helping me earlier…

He tilts his head slightly, his hands in his pockets, he is so tall that I have to straighten my poor little head as much as possible.

– It was a pleasure but I don’t think that’s why you’re here… he retorts.

I bite my lower l*p nervously, I suddenly hand him his jacket.

— I also wanted to thank you for lending it to me, I didn’t have time to wash it, well, I assure you that it is clean and… I could

n’t finish my sentence as he draws suddenly his jacket still in my hands making me get closer to his body.

A gasp of surprise leaves my throat, my chest brushes against his imposing chest and our faces are only a few meters away, his breath falls deliciously on my face, we are too close for my taste.

His face slowly approaches mine, my heart beats much faster, my breathing accelerates. He moves closer until his lips brush against my ear, causing thousands of shivers to run through my body.

I face his neck and discreetly I fill my lungs with his masculine scent.

— I would have preferred you to keep it than to dirty your little feet, he murmurs.

His breath pleasantly warms my ear and then…I realize his words. …. I’m barefoot and outside. I think I’m crimson red. He moves away from me and delicately places a k**s against my red cheek

. It’s only a little touch, this little contact is so normal but puts me in all sorts of states. He pulls away this time for real and takes the jacket from my hands.

— You have to go home, you risk catching a cold, good night Liya,” he says, gently ruffling my hair. I do

n’t answer, I’m too upset by what has just happened, he heads towards his car. , elegantly gets into his vehicle which he starts, he gives me a little sign which I respond and he leaves.

I do the same and rush into our little house, I rush up the stairs in order to avoid any discussion with my

kindergarten and I lock myself in my room.

I jump on my bed and lie down on my stomach.

I don’t know, it’s probably me who’s weird, he’s devilishly handsome and intimidating, which explains the strange feelings I feel towards him, yes that’s probably it.

*** A week later ****

— Liya my darling, I’m home… my mother writes from the living room.

Hey, she decided to come home early today, the previous days, she spent her evenings with Xavier…..and even her nights.

I blow loudly as I slam my constitutional law book shut and join her downstairs.

—How come you came home early this evening? I asked with my arms crossed against my chest.

She looks at me excitedly, a big smile hanging on her lips.

— I have a surprise for you… she said, looking for something in her bag.

I approach her, curious to know what she has in store for me. She takes out a small envelope and hands it to me. I quickly take it, tear it up and read what is written.

As I read, my mouth and eyes opened wide.

“Oh my God, mom, that’s not true. how did the most famous university in the city accept me? They started classes a few weeks ago, it’s impossible, and it’s way too expensive for you… I said quickly, almost choking.

— My darling, breathe,” she says.

She approaches me and places her hand against my arm.

— To tell you the truth, it was Xavier who took care of it.

At these words, I step back from her surprised by what she said to me.

— But…but mom, why? We could get by on our own like we’ve always been able to do since dad died, why will that change?

This time she takes me in her arm.

— I know my darling, put it into your head that from now on Xavier is part of our lives, there is no harm if my future husband wants to help us.. she whispers tenderly. — Thank you mom

, I can’t believe I was accepted, I’m so happy…

She moves away from me and frowns slightly.

— I think it’s him you should say thank you to. I’m going to tell you give his number so you can call him.

I think it’s a bad idea.

The next day

It’s 7 o’clock, 7:02 to be exact, I’m on the balcony and smoking a nice little cigarette.

My phone against my palm, I I still haven’t called him, I don’t know but I can’t do it, I’m quite a shy girl and I’m not ready to hear his voice, plus what can I say to him? Finally I prefer to send him a message, It’s simpler, no need to rack my brains.

I thank you for what you have done. There is .

My heart beats faster and I finally deign to click send. That’s it, all that’s left to do is wait for him to answer me.

In less than a minute my phone rings, it’s him, he’s calling me.

Why didn’t he just send a message?

I prefer not to answer, I don’t want to talk to him but the ringing persists.

– He doesn’t give up either… I shouted angrily.

Finally I answer on the second ring.

– You don’t want to talk to me, I see… he said in his hoarse voice.

His simple voice brings strange sensations to my body.

– Hm…maybe…I replied.

— I see… I, on the other hand, wanted to hear your voice… he retorts.

I roll my eyes at his unpleasant reply.

— did you read my message? I asked, ignoring what he said earlier.

– Yes and I want to tell you that I did it with pleasure, he whispers.

A goofy smile appears on my lips.

— You’re early for a Saturday… he remarks.

— I’ve almost gotten into the habit of waking up early, I spend my time on the balcony, my little routine that I like..

– I see… he simply retorts.

I notice he inhales and exhales loudly, his breathing sounds like a melody in my ears curious as I am I ask him.

– What are you doing ?

— Um, a morning run… he replied

— I imagine with a suit.

Oops! It came out on its own, shit, he laughed at my inappropriate remark, I wanted to catch up but he was quicker.

— I would like it if it could be possible but unfortunately I only wear sports shorts.

I bite my lower l*p and imagine him shirtless and dripping with sweat. Is he hairy? Does he have chocolate bars that would damn a saint?

– And you ? he asks suddenly, bringing me back to reality.

– What, me ? I say lost

– What are you wearing? pajama bottoms that are twice your size? he said in a

mocking tone.

– Oh you will be really disappointed, my body floats smoothly in a nightie I replied defensively.

After releasing my last sentence, a long silence ensues on the other end.

From the thread, I notice that his breathing is accelerating, who knows why? I’m starting to panic have I gone too far?

– How is she ? he asks harshly.

– Pardon ? I shouted, I wasn’t sure I understood his question.

— Liya answer me, what’s your f*****g nightie like? he growls, making me jump slightly.

Very good, he wants to play that, he’ll die.

— If you really want to know, um… it’s quite short I would say, it’s white and transparent, that suits you or you want to know if I’m wearing a thong while we’re at it? I said in a seductive voice.

The silence that follows is worse than the previous one, then in a furious voice he shouts at me.

— Do you realize your outfit?

you are on the balcony and anyone can see you?

– I don’t see anyone at this time, everything is calm, I said as innocently as possible.

—And perverted neighbors don’t count, perhaps? he writes to himself.

What possesses him to change his mood like that?

– But shit, it’s absolutely none of your business as far as I know, you’re the pervert in the story… I said beside myself.

— Be ready at 6 a.m. tomorrow, we’re going to run together.

I’m dreaming, does he change the subject?

— But you don’t care about me. ?

Beep…..beep.beep.. He hung up, that’s not true, I think it’s the weirdest discussion I’ve ever had….

The next day

I wake up in startle ,

I angrily wipe away the shed tear, readjust my tank top and throw my blanket at the other end of the bed which is suffocating me. I glance at the time, it’s 4:17.

I breathe loudly knowing in advance that I won’t be able to go back to sleep. I massage my neck and pull my long blonde hair to my shoulder, I really need to think about cutting it. After several hours of lying on my bed unable to sleep, I finally got up to get ready.

I put on a white t-shirt, black jogging pants and my sports shoes.

I don’t even know why I prepared, I don’t have to go but there is something that pushes me to do it, who knows what it is.

It’s 5:58 a.m., I decide to leave my room, I go down the stairs, I take my phone and a bottle of water and leave my house. I lock the door, all I have to do is wait for him. I turn around suddenly when I see him right in front of me and I scream in fright.

— But you’re sick, my word, have you got into the habit of scaring me or what? I said in a low voice to make as little noise as possible.

– I’m sorry… he replies with this smile that annoys me.

I roll my eyes and take a closer look.

Mr. handsome guy without a suit, um… it’s quite strange, his outfit looks like mine, and he looks devilishly attractive in sportswear.

My eyes meet his which display a satisfied look.. Absolutely not wanting to chat with him, I put on my headphones and

start my playlist.

I go around him and start walking without really knowing where we are going, finally he follows me silently and we start running side by side in silence.

It is still dark, only the faint light of the street lamps illuminates us. The sun is starting to rise, I am out of breath which is not the case for Xavier since he breathes normally.

After a good hour of running, we start walking, I realize that we are now in a forest, the same one where I picnicked with my father, where we camped together and where I also took refuge to mourn his loss. dead . I haven’t set foot here again in a long time.

It stops abruptly, I take off my headphones and try to resume normal breathing.

— we’re going to rest a little… he says, sitting down on a rock and I sit against a tree.

Xavier’s POV..

The sun has already risen, I want to continue my race but I can see that she can’t take it anymore. I drink a few sips of water, out of the corner of my eye I see her finish her bottle at once, this vision makes me smile,

—Why didn’t you suggest it to my mother instead? she asks in her sweet voice.

— We already went jogging together but unfortunately she didn’t like it at all… I replied without taking my eyes off her.

She sits carelessly on the ground not paying attention to the insects or complaining about the blisters on her feet, or whatever else which was the complete opposite of her mother. They are absolutely not alike.

I replace Liya’s unkempt style and indifference to everything around her to be her charm.

Her eyes are staring at an imaginary point, they are empty of all expression, it is almost disturbing, she seems far, far away, I would like to know what she is thinking.

– How old are you ? she asks, staring at me this time.

— Hmm, how much do you give me?

She places her index finger on her chin, pretending to think.

— Uh, I would say forty… she said in a provocative tone.

— Ouch! I would have preferred that you made me younger, to answer your question I am thirty-four years old.

— Hmm, you’re really old, tell me..

— Don’t exaggerate, young lady, and stop yelling at me.. I said annoyed.

She gets up suddenly and puts on her headphones.

“That won’t happen anytime soon,” she replies.

Without further ado, I also get up and snatch away his phone and headphones. She glares at me, she tries to get back what’s hers but I raise my arm high enough to make it difficult for her. She looks at me impassively, I wait for her to jump to try to get it but instead she gives me a beautiful smile and places her hands on my shoulders and without me expecting it she kneed me

on my private parts.

– Oh shit I shouted, withdrawing into myself.

She retrieves her device without any difficulty, walks around me and leaves. I pull myself together after his inappropriate and unexpected gesture.

– Run Liya, run… I threatened out loud.

She doesn’t need to be asked and takes her clothes around her neck. Without further ado I pursue her.

Unfortunately for her, she is not fast enough.. I circle her waist making her scream and suddenly slam her against a tree.

She breathes noisily and swallows her saliva with difficulty, she wanted to free herself but unfortunately her wrists are firmly imprisoned.

The proximity of our bodies is very reduced. his chest rises and falls rapidly, brushing against my torso with each movement, which is not unpleasant.

— you were naughty Liya..

— What are you going to do to me? she whispers innocently.

His innocent wishes, his half-open mouth, his breath mixed with mine and our proximity prevent me from thinking normally. I have a crazy desire to smell her, so I lean towards her and nestle my face in her neck, I breathe in her delicious natural smell mixed with her sweat and her fruity shampoo, the smell is simply delicious .

— You deserve a little punishment…

She doesn’t push me away, she’s just frozen, I move away from her slightly.

— Stop… she whispers unconvincingly.

I place a soft k**s on her neck making her shiver all over. It is

not indifferent to me, should it please me or frighten me? I do not know .

Her skin is so soft, it is as tender as I imagined, yes because this devil sometimes haunts my mind.

She stares at my lips, now damp from her perspiration, and slowly she brings her index finger closer to my face. Her finger rests on my forehead just at my hairline, she slides it gently, I close my eyes and savor this gentle contact. Her index finger slides up to my wet lips which she brushes lightly as if to wipe away her perspiration and suddenly I replace myself propelled violently backwards.

— You big pervert..

She doesn’t wait for my response and turns her back on me to continue on her way.

—Why didn’t you push me away from the start? I asked while

following her.

“Because you scared me,” she replies.

I know that’s absolutely not true, his eyes expressed everything except fear.

I grab her firmly by the wrist making her turn around but she pushes me away violently.

“Don’t touch me,” she threatens.

— Liya, we’re going in that direction, come back right away.

She turns a deaf ear and continues her path opposite to mine. With a determined step, I walk towards her until I am at her side, I pick her up by the waist and place her quickly on my shoulder.

– Let me go, put me down I tell you… she cried agitatedly, hitting me everywhere.

I give her two light taps on her perfectly plump bottom and

she immediately calms down.

— I’m dreaming, don’t you dare touch my butt?

— You deserve this little spanking, I can do it again if you don’t stay still.

— Help, help me, he wants to rape me. she cries hysterically.

– Scream as much as you want Liya, there’s no one here” I said simply.

She breathes loudly and mutters “idiot”, which made me smile.

– It’s okay, I’ll be quiet now please take me down, I just want to go home… she begged me.

— Okay, I’ll let you go but first we’re going to eat, I’m extremely hungry.

— But I’m not hungry, take me down ” she protests.

At the same time her stomach gurgles loudly, she tenses up embarrassed by the situation and I burst out laughing.

— I hate you… she whispers.

— I think the feeling is shared.

I take her down under her protests and then we take the shortest route to the bakery. We arrive after a few minutes, we go inside under the curious gaze of the customers.

— Hello, I said to the baker.

— Hello sir, what would you like to have for today?

— As usual and…what are you taking Liya?

“Two pains au chocolat,” she replies.

We take our orders after a few minutes and then I go to the cash register to pay. I notice that it’s a new cashier who is quite beautiful, she makes

eyes at me, she gives me the amount and deliberately bites her lower l*p, I hate that kind of woman.

Suddenly, Liya snaps her fingers in front of the young girl’s face.

– Maybe I won’t bother you, have you finished watching MY man? she said with furrowed eyebrows.

I look at her just as surprised as the cashier. This one, red with shame, stammers out apologies and we leave after paying.

— I can tell…

– Stop, don’t say anything, I’m not going to let someone flirt with you without reacting when you belong to my mother… she cuts me off quickly.

— Young girl, why don’t you admit that you were jealous?

— Why should I be? You will be my father-in-law, it’s absurd that I am, don’t you think? she replies, the insolent little one.

In response, I ruffle his hair.

During the return trip, we walk in silence while eating. We arrive in front of her house after a few minutes.

She goes to open the door but I hold her back.

— This afternoon I will take your mother to a nice restaurant, would you like to come with us?

She looks at me with an arched eyebrow.

– No, see you soon… she says in a dry tone.

She comes home leaving me speechless outside, plus she didn’t offer me to come home, what a nasty character this girl is.

She will always amaze me…