I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him (Book 2) – Chapter 65

Manning

Tiffany bounces on the spot, her eyes closed and her big smile. She had pulled her hair back into a twisted bun and kept it simple in a loose summer dress and a little makeup. She was a natural beauty.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked.

It wasn’t like I had the world at my fingertips, just a few places where no one was. I took her out of the dining room, where all the other counselors were hanging out, to a staff dining room off the kitchen. Gary and I had set it up earlier with a black tablecloth and a large white candle.

Tiffany opened her eyes when we entered.

“Oh my God,” she said. “It’s so romantic.”

I pulled out a chair for her, then put my hand around the candle and lit the wick with my Zippo.

“You went through all this for me?” she asked.

I sat down opposite her.

“you wanted me to prove it.” I did.”

She studied me.

“You’re really old-fashioned, aren’t you? For a minute, I was afraid you wouldn’t like me

. likes.”

At least, I was beginning to like some things about her. She was adventurous and daring. No girl I knew was so adamant about her sexuality. And, she was beautiful. I hated myself for thinking that, but it was true. All the counselors knew it. I had stopped some of the guys who were talking about her, I had heard jealous snipes from the other girls.

“I like you too,” she said , looking surprised.

It occurred to me that she might like other guys too. I’d never had trouble replaceing women, but maybe I couldn’t hold on to a girl like Tiffany for as long as I wanted. And now what? I would go back to being alone, trying to keep the past at bay. Drinking, smoking, using my hands to build things for others. It wasn’t a bad life . I slept with whoever I wanted. I didn’t have to watch my mouth or not light my cigarettes.

“Are you seeing anyone else?” I asked.

She cast her eyes on the table.

“And you ?”

“No and you?” I asked again.

“Well…not really. I didn’t think you’d mind if I did, though.

Bucky strolled out and made no secret of the fact that he was looking at Tiff.

“Dinner’s almost ready. I asked him what do you like in your spaghetti but he didn’t know.

How does a man not know what his girlfriend likes?

D**k, I had the feeling he’d been waiting to talk like that ever since I’d asked him for a few seconds the day before. I owed him for making us dinner, but if I hadn’t I would have told him to f**k off.

“Meatballs, I guess?” » said Tiffany with an encouraging smile. “What else is there?”

“Whatever you want. Mushrooms, eggplant, grilled peppers, chicken…”

“Would you mind calling her name?” I asked.

“We have a date here.”

Tiffany’s eyes sparkled.

“I’ll have some wine if you have some,” she told him. “Otherwise, everything you did was good.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Bucky sucked his teeth and walked back into the kitchen.

“You are . .” She shook her head. “Not like anyone I’ve ever dated.”

“Same for you.”

“Is this a good thing?” she asked.

“I don’t know, Tif. Most girls, I tell them something once and they listen, not three times. Even if Bucky flies to Italy and brings us a bottle, I already told you, we don’t drink wine.

I prepared myself for her to argue, but instead she sighed.

“I know. I’m just nervous.

“No, you’re not.”

She smiled, looking at me from under her eyelashes.

“Yes.

Usually when I’m alone with a guy, we’re either drinking or smoking or there are people in the other room. It’s weird being out here in the middle of nowhere on a real date.

Huh That was something we pretty much had in common. When I brought a girl home, it was probably after a drink or four at my house.

“Is that weird?”

“No . .”

She didn’t pick anything from the tablecloth.

“Just different. Why did you ask me if I was seeing anyone else?

For a conversation like this, I needed a f*****g cigarette. I guessed that’s what Tiffany was talking about, getting too intense without something to dull the effect.

“Maybe it’s too early for that.”

“Yeah.” She unfolded her napkin on her knees.

“Maybe.”

“When I’m with a girl, she doesn’t sleep with anyone else. Do you understand?”

“No. You don’t want me for yourself, but you don’t want me with someone else?

My stomach growled.

“I guess. I mean . . It sounds crazy.

What do you want?” “I haven’t been in a serious relationship since high school…”

She shrugged her shoulders.

It wasn’t much of an answer, but she didn’t say anything else, just swirling a salt shaker on the table.

Maybe she was really nervous. I put my hand over his to stop him from fidgeting, and I think that surprised us both a little. She raised her palm and flexed her fingers, intertwining them with mine. Tiffany sat across from me, but she wasn’t quite the cheeky girl I’d seen so far.

“Your hands are rough,” she said. “It’s work ?”

“Yeah. It’s definitely not baseball.

She chuckled.

“I guess not.”

Corbin had left camp, but not before beating my a*s on the diamond. I had to go through nine innings of baseball against him tonight. I had played a little in high school, so I had been chosen to coach the opposing team. Corbin had been in and out of baseball camp all summer and had destroyed us while Tiffany and Lake were watching us from the grass. Smug satisfaction was on Corbin’s face as we shook hands after the match, but completely disappeared as soon as Lake arrived.

I released Tiffany’s hand.

“What’s the problem with him? I asked.

“Corbin.”

She crossed her arms on the table.

“He’s a good guy, he comes from a good family. Kind of heartbreaking.

“So it’s a little shit.”

She laughed.

“No. He doesn’t do it on purpose. That’s why I was worried about Lake. Like if Corbin had a crush on me and thought he could get closer to me through her or maybe Lake was, like, a substitute for me, so I would worry that he might hurt her. But he wouldn’t do it on purpose, you know? He’s not like that. He’s just a boy who thinks with his… You know .”

The brave and bold Tiffany couldn’t come out and say what she wanted. That made me smile. Part of me wanted to hear it, just to tease her, but there was a bigger part of me that wanted to know more about Corbin.

“So you think this is a problem?”

She tilted her head.

“How?”

Did I want him to be a problem? Maybe a little bit. This way I would have an excuse to keep him away.

“I don’t know. Is he going to try to pressure your sister into doing anything?

“He’s not like that.” She rolled her eyes. “But maybe he should.”

“What”

“Just kidding. Of course, I don’t want Lake to do anything before she’s ready, and she won’t. She’s too uptight. I swear she’s the youngest sixteen years old that I know.

“That is?”

“When it comes to boys, she acts like she’s twelve, but she’s not. When I was his age, I wasn’t so naive about these things. None of my friends were.

I shifted in my seat. It was like on the horse earlier, Lake trying to convince me that she was older when I wanted her to remain innocent.

“Maybe you were like that and just forgot what it’s like to be that age.”

She laughed.

“My first year, my first boyfriend was the quarterback of the varsity football team. A senior. Do you think he treated me like a kid? No. He taught me and my kids friends, how to sneak out of the house. How to party. Before him, I had one beer in my life. At the end of the year, I took beer bongs as an appetizer. I could

n’t I couldn’t imagine Tiffany at sixteen, which left me imagining Lake. They shared certain expressions that made me wonder if Tiffany had ever been as sweet and pure as her sister or if Lake had to become like Tiffany. Lake was sure the right path. USC would open all kinds of doors for her. Nothing should stand in her way, especially not someone like me who had no steady job, a troubled past and barely more than what could fit in a room .Tiffany, however, was going through something she probably couldn’t recognize, not being motivated to replace work or do anything substantial. She needed a hand, and her father was too busy with Lake. Even his mother didn’t seem to want to help him, more interested in getting me to go out with Tiffany.

There was a good chance that I would be good for Tiffany, and an even better chance that I would be bad for Lake.

Bucky came back and set both plates down.

“It took some negotiating, but I got your wine,” he told Tiffany. “

. I hope you like red.

“We don’t want any wine,” I said. “She’s a minor.”

Tiffany nodded.

“I changed my mind.”

With a visible sneer, Bucky muttered something under his breath that sounded like an a*****e. I had no idea what the f**k his problem was, but I didn’t ask him to repeat himself. I couldn’t control my reaction if I was right.

“It feels so good,” Tiffany said when we were alone again.

The food smelled damn tempting, but our conversation still weighed on my mind.

“You don’t think she’ll go down that path, do you?”

Tiffany cut her meatballs in half.

“Who?”

“LAKE.”

I was pretty sure I knew the answer, but I wasn’t very present in the grand scheme of things.

“Parties and sneaking out and all that.”

“Oh no.”

. Lake had a good head on his shoulders, and I had to trust him. I went to get my fork.

“she should but she absolutely wouldn’t

. ” “What do you mean should”

“It makes me a little sad that she does everything daddy says all the time. Like he’s so perfect? ​​He’s not, you know .

There I had to agree.

“Still, that means she stays out of trouble.”

“She doesn’t have fun. I’m not saying she has to be like me. I don’t want that ‘she is. I just don’t want her to look back. I don’t know. What if she had a little too much to drink one night and embarrassed herself while doing karaoke at a party? Or is the cover missing? -fire because she lost track of time while talking to a cute boy? Or ditched a class to go get ice cream at the mall?” She took a sip of water. She’ll be eighteen in a few years anyway.

I looked at her. I hadn’t even taken a bite. Was she saying that Lake was almost eighteen? From my point of view, she still had two long years to go her, to change, to become who she was supposed to be.

“Why do you talk about her so much?” Tiffany asked.

It was simple.

“I’m worried.”

“But why?”

Her tone was casual as she twirled noodles on her fork. She raised one shoulder.

“You have a weird friendship.”

A shiver of panic rose in my chest. Couldn’t I have just kept my f*****g mouth shut? No, because that’s what Lake did to me. The truth was that I had good reason to be concerned. A reason that would silence Tiffany. I just didn’t want to share it. I sat back in my seat, staring at my food for a minute as I got nervous.

“You’re not eating,” Tiffany said, blinking her big, pretty eyes at me, seemingly worried.

“I told you you’d ruin your appetite if you had dinner with the kids.

Tiffany stopped chewing. “What?”

“I had a little sister. I can’t . . talk about that. I do not want. But that’s why I’m so protective of Lake. I never want you or your family to go through what mine did.

“Oh, my God,” she whispered, letting her fork clatter on the plate. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. When you mentioned your sister, I thought. . I thought-” “It’s okay.” I needed her to stop talking. “It’s been years, then.”

“What was his name?”

I swallowed. I didn’t talk about Maddy. I would never say his name to a stranger, and that’s how most people had felt about me since it happened. “Can’t.”

She took my hand. “Was she sick?”

My head started to spin. I nodded just to end the conversation, even if it was with a lie.

“Manning?” » Tiffany got up and came towards me.

I tried to stop him. “You really don’t need to—”

She moved the table, actually moved it back a foot, so she could sit on my lap.

“Tiff,” I said, but I took her in my arms. “I do not wanna talk about it.”

She touched my cheek, running her thumb over the corner of my mouth. “I’m sorry.”

I didn’t really know how to feel. I didn’t want to talk about it, period. But it was nice to be touched. It was something I hadn’t had in a long time, the calming touch of a woman who cared. “THANKS.”

She ran her long nails through my hair and my eyes closed. “That’s why you’re so protective.”

“In part.”

She took my face with both hands and kissed my forehead. “I can’t imagine if this happened to Lake. I was dying.

My throat thickens. To think that this could happen to Lake, but also that Tiffany cared a lot more about her sister than she let on. I wish I could promise Tiffany that this would never happen, but that was the problem with Maddy’s death. I didn’t even realize that was a possibility until it had already happened. If I had, I would have done anything to stop it. I patted Tiffany’s a*s. “Come on. Let’s not ruin the date. It’s going well.”

She stepped back and looked me in the face. There was no minty breath, no cigarette smell clinging to her. Just the earthy tomato sauce and the wooden cabin. She stood up and returned to her side of the table. “Do you want to finally eat something?”

I picked up my fork and took a bite. “You should know,” I said, “that I eat a lot.” I shoved noodles into my mouth and my words came out muffled. “A lot”

“Yuck.” Tiffany chuckled. “It’s disgusting.”

I rinsed my bite with water. “You should see me with lasagna.” F*****g massacre.

She laughs harder. Tiffany took a fork, pursed her lips, and sucked in a noodle. Tomato sauce splashed into her mouth, and instead of wiping it away right away, she just smiled and chewed. She was doing well when she left the show. His attitude might even be cute. The highlights, the pink nail polish, the low-cut tops, they didn’t appeal to me. No more than any girl I might meet in a bar. This side of her I could spend time with.

Dessert was store bought chocolate cake with raspberry drizzle. Tiffany took two bites and slid her plate away. “I’m on a diet.”

“You don’t need to be on a diet.”

“That’s because I’m on one.” She raised her eyebrows as if she had beaten me. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t look this good.” I wouldn’t argue with that. She looked good, and I liked that she knew it. This was a difference between Tiffany and many of the girls I had met over the past few years. I ate half of his cake in one bite and gulped down. “Do you think I should go on a diet?”

She smiled. “No. You’re a guy, and a big one. You can eat as much as you want. You work out too. Right?” “

The construction demands it.”

She looked at her plate, which had become the mine, and frowned. “I meant…I’m sorry if my dad made you feel bad about what you’re doing.

“I understand. He wants you to be taken care of. I loved construction, but not that my next job was still up in the air. I saved every penny I could just in case. I never wanted to be left with nothing to offer. In this way, I understood Tiffany’s father. When the time comes, no one can ever accuse me of not taking care of my family.

“Well, I don’t care. Money isn’t important.

“You say that because you have it. Living without it seems glamorous.

She waved me off. “I’d rather be in love than rich.”

It was becoming clear that Tiffany didn’t expect much from me as far as earning potential. And that she didn’t know herself as well as she thought. A girl like her would always need money. “Are you saying you’re okay with spaghetti and meatballs in a small room with a crappy candle instead of a fancy restaurant?”

“I’ve been to a lot of fancy restaurants. You can’t do the slurp-y thing with your noodles. She might think she would choose love over money, but I didn’t. Not when it came to this. “I get the feeling you’re not really enjoying this. Rough it out.”

She shrugged, her stupidity fading. “It’s fine.”

“That wasn’t convincing.” I said to myself. sat back in my chair. “Is it the girls?”

“They hate me. I hate them. I can not even. . I don’t know how to deal with them.

If I didn’t think it would hurt her, I would have laughed. Tiffany surely understood why she was having so much trouble. The girls were mini versions of her. I rested my elbows on the table. “Do you know what I think?”

“What?”

“There’s no one here who could handle them better than you.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s because you haven’t spent any time with my cabin.”

“These kids, they’re just starting to learn about makeup and boys and clothes. Who knows more about this girl shit than you?” “

No one,” she said.

“Exactly. People have different skills, Tiff. Use yours. It must not be easy to get that black shit on your eyelids.

She giggled. ” Eyeliner ? It’s not. It’s hard, actually.”

Did I think that twelve-year-olds far from home should learn how to do makeup? Not really. But in the grand scheme of things, I guessed it wasn’t so bad if it meant it would change their experience here for the positive, and Tiffany’s too. “Teach them a lesson.” “

Okay,” she said. “I guess I could try that. Then, I will teach them to be stylish, even in hiking shoes.

“There.” I finished the two desserts and got up. “I’ll take you home.” She also got up. “It’s still “

Not during camp. It’s like I need twice as much sleep here.

As we were walking out, she grabbed my hand, but when I squeezed hers, she relaxed. My palm was probably sweaty. The site was quiet, especially as we headed into the woods. I could have used a cigarette, but I didn’t want to stop. Better, I took her to her cabin quickly.

She took it upon herself, though, not that it surprised me. She stopped, making me look back with a gentle tug on my hand. “I want to thank you for dinner.”

“How?” I asked, but I knew.

She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to mine. I stood still like a statue, just like her. This was the point where I was supposed to take over. I put my arm around her waist. For all her bravado, she melted against me faster than I expected, dissolving into our k**s. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t sure I wanted it. It was happening. Any guy in this camp would have killed to be in my place.

I tried not to think about the horse earlier, about the defiant pout I’d left behind when I picked Tiffany up for our date tonight. I hadn’t realized my hand was on the back of Tiffany’s head until I pulled her hair, and she m****d, bringing me back to the present moment. She pushed her tongue against my lips and I opened my mouth. I owed her my attention, but she also demanded it. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me harder. I followed his lead, going through the motions, trying not to give in to the wet, willing mouth attached to mine. She took my lower l*p between her teeth and pinched it. My c**k woke up. Damn, this girl knew what she was doing.

An owl hooted so loudly that I jumped back as if we had been caught. I held her at a distance by the waist.

“What?” she whispered.

“I . . should make you come back.

“Seriously?”

She walked over to me and trailed her soft fingers along the back of my neck, playing with the ends of my hair.

It had been months since I’d last kissed someone. Two seconds later we had undressed and jumped into bed.

“I’m just getting started”

“I know.” Between being turned on and needing to keep our bodies apart, I was a little out of breath.