In The Name of Love
53: Frustration

Minna’s head is pounding from exhaustion and irritation before supper with the Earl of Lyrnola and his family is even half over. Minstrels play too loudly in one corner, and the flutist cannot seem to match key with the others. The meal consists of dozens of rich dishes and expensive foodstuffs that are rare to see outside of holiday celebrations, and all the cutlery is gold-plated. The Earl and Countess take turns trying to impress Minna with talk of their sumptuous lifestyle and grand house and how much of an asset Lyrnola is to Aethyrozia. All this would be more than irksome enough for Minna, but the fact that Fifi and Kai are seated next to one another, a few seats away from her, is the most painful thorn in her side of the night.

But they’re not talking much, she observes, glancing sidelong at them with every other bite she takes. In fact, Kai and Fifi look more uncomfortable than anything, and what she can hear of their scant, stilted conversation seems to be shallow, related to the weather and traveling. At least, from what I can tell. But that doesn’t mean anything. She snuck out to see him as soon as we got here! How much has she been hiding from me?

The idea that Fifi has been keeping secrets from her makes Minna’s heart ache. She longs to be alone, or else back in the carriage with her sister again to question her until she breaks and reveals everything she’s been hiding. Instead, she must sit at the Earl of Lyrnola’s table, smiling and nodding and feigning interest in the constant inanity spewing from him and his wife. No one else can get a word in edgewise. Minna would love to hear from the adorable twins sitting next to the Countess, who steal food from each other’s plates and play at sword-fighting with their knives when they think no one is looking. They would at least have interesting things to say, I’d warrant, Minna reflects, straining her cheeks in her efforts to maintain a polite smile.

As the meal goes on, Minna replaces it harder and harder to bear acting like a perfect princess. Every time she looks at Fifi, anger and hurt and betrayal threaten to overwhelm her. The prattling of the Earl and the Countess saws at what little is left of her frayed nerves. Although the food tastes as good as anything she ate at home, thoughts of the miserable villagers in Lonyr make it turn to sour lumps of regret in her stomach.

When the servants start to clear away the fourteenth course, Minna rises to her feet.

“You have been most gracious, Your Lordship, Your Ladyship,” Minna interrupts her hosts in the middle of an epic saga of how they acquired the finest rugs in Lokva for their manor house. “But I am exhausted from our travels, and we have many more long days of traveling ahead of us. I fear I shan’t be able to stay awake much longer. Pray, excuse me, and enjoy the rest of your evening.”

To her surprise, Fifi gets up to leave, as well. Kai stands a moment after, looking every inch the solicitous host.

“Your Highness, will you permit me the honor of escorting both of you to your suite?” he asks.

“If you wish,” Minna replies after a moment’s contemplation. It can’t do any harm, and he’s much better company than his parents, however angry I might be with him and Fifi, she reasons.

“Very well, then. Good night,” the Earl says with a crafty look on his face. Minna stifles a shudder—what is he hoping for?!—and quickens her steps to leave the great room where they have been dining. In moments, Fifi and Kai have joined her and they have made their way into the corridor leading towards their suite. Oaken doors fall shut behind them, muffling the poor playing of the minstrels and making all three of them sigh in relief.

“I’m…terribly sorry, for all of that.” Kai looks as though he wishes the floor would swallow him whole. “They’re never good company, but tonight they were unbearable.”

“That’s…certainly a way to describe it,” Minna answers, unable to replace anything more charitable to say of their hosts. Fifi walks ahead of her and Kai, admiring the tapestries on the walls and humming to herself. Minna wants to call her back, to confront both of them here and now, but Kai doesn’t give her the chance.

“And I’m sorry, too, for what you must think of me and your sister, Your Highness,” he continues, his voice low.

Minna can hardly believe her ears. “What are you—”

“I told you and your sister, at your Quest for Favor, that my father and stepmother forced me to compete. Their avarice and ambition are known throughout Aethyrozia, and now tonight you have seen it on display.”

“In exquisite clarity.”

“It will not surprise you, then, to learn that they insisted that I spend my evening in the gardens tonight, in the hopes that your sister, known as she is for her love of being outside, would come out and we might meet by chance.”

“And you agreed to do such a thing, knowing it might be interpreted to compromise her virtue?” Minna’s voice is as sharp as her glare; she hopes to cut her way to the truth, whatever it might be.

“The same servants my father is paying to make sure I comply with his schemes will attest that there was no unseemly conduct between us. And I will swear the same, on my mother’s grave.” His face is serious and earnest.

“Have you met like that before?”

“A few times, at Court. I don’t like to be indoors when the weather is fine. And you said yourself that…Princess Josefina and I have that in common.”

He used her given name. Why would he do that? She would have asked him to call her Fifi the first time they met, or else when they danced together the first time. Minna frowns. “Will you compete in her Quest for Favor?”

“I doubt I shall have any choice in the matter.”

“Do you fancy her?”

The dim light of the corridor makes it difficult for Minna to be sure, but she could swear that Kai blushes at the question. “She is admirable in every aspect. But I am not blind to my own unsuitability as a match for her. This family is not a burden I would wish on anyone. And…if you will pardon my saying so…. I would expect the King to have rather strong opinions about where her favor falls, and he has made his dislike of the house of Lyrnola no secret.”

“As you say. That is no secret.” Minna doesn’t know what to think, other than that she’s heard these lines of reasoning before, from her own sister. Did they plan what to say? she wonders. But Kai shows no signs of deceit, and he, at least, admitted to liking Fifi.

“I simply…wanted to assure you that—”

“I believe you.” Minna isn’t sure whether that’s the truth or not, but Fifi has already reached the door of their suite, half a dozen paces ahead, and it’s the right thing to say to end the conversation. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course, Your Highness. Is anything amiss in your chambers?”

“Everything is perfectly adequate, thank you.”

“Then I bid you both good night. Sleep well.”

Minna offers him a half smile before following Fifi into their suite and closing the door behind them.

“He likes you,” she blurts out.

Fifi turns to face Minna, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“He told me. After he apologized for the two of you being in the gardens together.”

“I told you I didn’t know he’d be there. I just wanted to stretch my legs and smell the roses,” Fifi grumbles.

“You haven’t directly answered my question, about whether you like him.” Minna’s voice is soft and gentle, but Fifi flinches at her words. “And he said that tonight wasn’t the first time you’ve met by chance outdoors.”

Fifi sighs and shifts from foot to foot. Her mouth opens and closes a few times before she finally replies. “Yes. I like him. But nothing I’ve said when you’ve asked before has been a lie. It doesn’t matter whether I like him or not, because never in a hundred thousand lifetimes will Father agree to let me choose him. So what’s the point of saying it?” Fifi drops into one of the chairs by the fireplace, clutching her head in her hands.

“We used to tell each other everything, Fifi. What happened? Why would you keep this from me?”

“I didn’t want you to worry about me. I didn’t want a servant to overhear and start spreading rumors that would get back to Father and cause a huge argument. You’ve had enough to deal with, getting ready for your wedding, and….”

“Just because I’ve been busy doesn’t mean I don’t have time for you.”

“After that first note from Didier—”

“Don’t.” Minna takes a deep breath, then settles in the other chair by the fireplace and pulls it closer to her sister. “I know. And I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“You’ve already apologized. More than you should have for his mistakes. I never should have suspected you. I knew better.”

“I felt like you didn’t trust me, anyway,” Fifi admits in a small voice. “And I wondered if you would keep a secret from Father, and decided it wasn’t worth the risk.”

“I won’t tell Father anything about you or Kai. No good could come of that,” Minna promises. “But I am going to write to him tonight, before we go to bed.”

“About the Earl and the Countess?”

Minna nods. “Do you want to help me write it?”

“You’re better at those sorts of things than I am, and he listens to you sometimes.”

“But you’re more observant than I am. And I want your input, if you’re willing to give it.”

Fifi smiles, and there’s a mischievous twinkle in her eyes that warms Minna’s heart. “Let’s ruin every hope those two miserable braggarts have for advancement.”