In Your Dreams, Holden Rhodes (The Queen’s Cove Series Book 3)
In Your Dreams, Holden Rhodes: Chapter 45

“I HEARD the creaking noise and then it was crashing through the window.” I shrugged at the bar patrons. “It was kind of scary.”

“And you were standing right beside it?” Miri asked, eyes wide.

I nodded. “I thought the raccoons were back.”

“You were so lucky.” Don scribbled another note as I talked. He glanced at the bandage on my arm. “Victim sustained minor lacerations.” Off my confused expression, he explained, “I’ll be including this in the Queen’s Cove Daily.”

Behind him, Holden watched and listened, eyes on me the entire time with an amused smile.

Our eyes met and my pulse stumbled.

I couldn’t wait to get back to his place after the bar. It was mind-blowing, how good we were together. Holden touching me changed my DNA. Every time he made me come, he cracked me apart and put me back together in a new formation, better than before.

In the bar, I did another round to check if anyone wanted another drink before I leaned on the counter in front of him.

“Hi,” I said, smiling at him.

“Hi, honey,” he said back in that low voice of his. His eyes were steady and warm.

“How’d it go with the arborist today?”

“She’ll be out next Monday. You get everything you need from the inn?”

“Yep.” He had dropped me off at the inn to pick up my car and another bag of clothes and toiletries. My brain prickled at the thought of staying with Holden for the next week. His home was beautiful, and the second I stepped across the threshold, I felt like I belonged there.

When I spoke with Willa on the phone today, we decided which furniture we’d keep for the new apartment. She was so excited.

I didn’t belong in Holden’s home, no matter how much I wanted to. I belonged back in Toronto. I owed it to Willa, so she could pursue her career as an artist. After how she had supported me when Grant left, I couldn’t bail on her like that.

“We got that project.” Holden’s mouth turned up. “The apartment buildings.”

I gasped, lighting up. “You did?”

He smiled wider, nodding.

“Holden.” I walked around the bar to him before wrapping my arms around his neck in a hug. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, honey,” he said into my hair. He was so warm and solid, I could sink right into him. “I gave it to Aiden.”

I leaned back to study him. “Aiden.”

He nodded, something sweet and interested growing behind his eyes.

“I thought you would run that project.”

His throat worked and he dragged in a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m trying to cut back. I can’t work like this forever if I want…” He cut himself off before he shrugged. His careful gaze returned to mine. “If I want other things.”

I chewed my lip. If he wanted a wife and a family.

He must have really wanted those things if he handed off that massive project at work. My throat constricted, and I didn’t know why. I knew he wanted those things. He had been upfront from day one.

So why did it stab me in the heart a little to hear him making steps towards them?

Because I wanted him to want me.

Ugh. Sadie. You pathetic fool.

His goals hadn’t changed. I was the one losing focus over here, getting swept away by secret libraries and yellow raincoats.

I studied him, threading my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, wondering what the hell his big flaw was. I tried to picture myself staying and Holden flipping the tables on me, ruining my life like Grant had.

I came up with nothing. He didn’t have it in him. He’d drown me with all the teas he brought me, give me a stroke from having too many orgasms, or I’d go missing because him and I were still walking in the forest, holding hands, twenty years later.

A customer caught my attention and I offered Holden a quick, tight smile. “Be right back.”

“I’ll be here.”

I sighed as I walked over to the customer to take their order.

Why couldn’t he be awful? Why couldn’t he be slimy and chauvinistic and arrogant? Why did he have to be steady, kind, thoughtful, protective, and handsome as hell?

I felt like I was being tested, and I had no clue what the right answer was.

“Sadie,” a customer said a few minutes later. “I heard about the tree. Are you okay?”

Over the rest of the night, I told the story of the tree falling at least a dozen times. Everyone had heard and the bar was busier than usual.

“If your arm hurts, you let me know, okay?” Olivia said later. She hadn’t wanted me to work tonight but I insisted I was fine.

Besides, if I wasn’t at the bar tonight, I’d be at Holden’s place, which meant he’d be there too, and that was risky. Warm, inviting, and super fucking dangerous. I liked the idea of having him all to myself in his gorgeous home too much.

Elizabeth took a seat beside Holden and waved at me. I hustled over, and when I arrived, she stood and gave me a big hug.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said, squeezing me, and my eyes welled up with tears. I blinked them away as fast as possible. Elizabeth was so freaking nice. She made me miss Katherine.

“I’m fine,” I said, laughing lightly. “I’m totally fine.”

She pulled back to search my eyes. “I know. I was just so worried when I heard what happened.” Her gaze dropped to my arm. “You’re hurt.”

“No.” I rolled my eyes and laughed. “I’m fine. I promise. Please, sit. Do you want a glass of wine?”

“That would be lovely.” The worry lingered in her eyes.

“I’m fine,” I said with emphasis. “Ask Holden. He’ll tell you.”

“Oh, yes,” she said, beaming at him. “I heard.”

He pretended to watch the TV above the bar and I smiled and walked away to get Elizabeth’s drink. As I found the wine and poured her a glass, my heart squeezed thinking about how concerned everyone was for me. At least two dozen people stopped in to the bar to say hi and ask if I was okay. My arm was totally fine and the cut was minor but people treated me like I had been stranded for days and had to chop my own arm off.

I snorted at the ridiculousness of it. People cared about each other here. This town was weird and strangely obsessed with my alien dildo—not my alien dildo—but they took care of each other.

Holden’s family treated me like I was one of them. Emmett and Avery rushed to the inn last night and insisted I come over to their place like it was nothing, like it wasn’t the middle of the night. They were worried about me and wanted to make sure I was safe, just like Holden.

I knew how rare this was, and how unlikely it was I would ever replace this little bubble of love and warmth ever again.

Where would I even work in Queen’s Cove? I loved working at the bar but I missed interior design. The inn was filling that void for me right now but once it was finished, I’d want something creative and challenging to fill my time. The bar was fun but it wasn’t a forever thing.

I realized what I was doing and frowned at the wine glass in front of me. Holy shit. I was thinking about moving here? I had wanted to work for Claire for years, and now I was giving that up while fucking over my best friend?

It would be for him. I clenched my eyes closed as I scolded myself. I was doing it again. Deeper and deeper I sank. I was staying with him. I dragged a breath in and anxiety constricted my lungs.

I wasn’t moving here. I wasn’t giving up my entire life for a guy, no matter how much I liked him. It wasn’t happening. I’d have no one to blame but myself and we weren’t going back to that.

I took one more deep breath before I brought Elizabeth’s drink over.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” she said and I couldn’t help but beam back at her. She put me in a good mood. Her gaze snagged on Olivia passing behind me with a plate of wings for a customer. “Hi, honey,” she said to Olivia.

Olivia stiffened and shot her a wary look. “Hi.”

Elizabeth rested her chin on her palm and studied Olivia’s pink hair, loose around her shoulders. “Your hair looks lovely. Did you color it recently?”

Olivia squirmed under Elizabeth’s perusal. “Yep. I gotta run these to a table.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Okay. Bye, sweetie.”

Olivia hurried off like she couldn’t wait to get away from Elizabeth, and I frowned.

A few minutes later, I paused while helping Olivia haul another keg out of the back room. “Why were you so weird with Elizabeth?”

Olivia didn’t meet my gaze. “I wasn’t.”

My eyes narrowed. I’d never seen them interact before, I realized. “Yes, you were.”

Her throat worked and she shrugged, picking at her nail polish. “I don’t know. She’s like, always trying to talk to me and make conversation and stuff.”

“What an evil bitch,” I droned.

She sighed and met my eyes. She pressed her mouth into a tight line and my heart twisted. Her eyebrows pinched with worry.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered.

She closed her eyes for a minute. “Don’t talk to anyone about this, okay?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“I think Elizabeth still thinks Finn and I are going to…” She trailed off but I nodded with understanding. She swallowed again.

“Oh.” I tried to summon Holden’s calm, steady nature. “And that’s not happening.”

She studied the keg at our feet but I had the sense her mind was very far away. “Nope.”

“Okay.” I straightened up. “What do you need from me? You want me to go out there and slap her?”

Olivia snorted and I grinned back at her.

“I’ll do it. Doesn’t matter if she’s Holden’s mom.”

Olivia laughed. “No slapping people in my bar.”

I put my hands up. “Fair. You’re the boss. If you change your mind, let me know.”

“Can you handle her orders tonight?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.”

Our eyes met and I felt the sweet twist of female friendship rise up in my throat. This tiny slice of vulnerability from Olivia deepened our friendship a notch.

“You should stay,” she said, suddenly.

My eyebrows shot up. “Huh?”

She nodded, watching me, before she shrugged. “I mean, if you want to. You should stay here. I know you don’t want to work at the bar forever and you’re an interior designer, but you could figure something out.”

I stuttered. Could she read my mind? “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

How could I explain that my life here was too good to be true? That it couldn’t last forever and something was bound to go wrong, and I had surely missed all the signs? If I stayed, I’d be giving up so much without any guarantee. It was too risky.

“I have a whole life waiting for me in Toronto,” I told her.

“Right.” She watched me. “Well, I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”

Emotion pinched me above my lungs and for the second time tonight, I blinked hard. I pointed at the keg at our feet.

“You’re just going to miss me helping you with the kegs.”

She snorted. “Yeah. That too.”

I pictured Olivia and me hanging out at the bar, ten years from now, and my heart panged. It felt so real and seamless.

“I’ll miss you, too,” I told her.