Indebted to the Mafia King
Bad Feeling

Eleni

The next morning, my vibrating phone wakes me before my alarm. I shoot up in bed, immediately certain Dante snuck out, that he's captured or bleeding out at Henry's feet.

He lays in bed next to me, his dark hair rumpled. As I watch, he rolls over to reveal a dent from the pillowcase in his cheek. I exhale slowly and pick up my phone.

Mama's calling. I glance at Dante one last time, then grab a robe and pad out into the hallway.

"Hi, Mama," I say.

"I am very disappointed," she says severely.

I rub my eyes, check the time. It's barely six-thirty. What could I have done already?

"I told you I was going out to Staten Island," I say.

"Pah." She huffs a breath. "You think I'm worried about that? No, zouzouni, I want to know why I just had to replace out the date of your wedding from some woman"--she says the word like it's poison-"showing up at the door to ask you about something called a save-the-date. Am I not your mama anymore?"

"What?" I freeze at the top of the stairs. "We don't have a date for the wedding. What woman?"

Mama rattles off a description that matches Nicky to a T, down to the suit. "She seemed very confident, zouzouni. She said Dante picked it out."

So, not some ghost of Camila, returned to torture me. That's great.

"Uh, you didn't hear from me because I heard it from you," I reply. "When did she say?"

"Next weekend." The edge leaks out of Mama's voice. "You really didn't know?"

"Nope. I don't even know when Dante would've-" Dimly, I remember the mattress shifting in the dead of night. I assumed he just needed to go to the bathroom. Was he meeting with someone? "Sorry, Mama, I would've told you if I'd known."

"I'm sorry too." She sighs. "I should've known. You are under so much pressure, but you wouldn't forget your mama."

Pressure's one word for it. I continue down the stairs to make one of the million identical herbal teas I have to drink now instead of coffee. "Of course not. What did you tell Nicky?"

"That you would call her after your very important classes."

"Thanks," I say, but my voice is dull even to my own ears.

"What is it? Do you not like the date?" Mama asks.

"No, I" I start the kettle and lean against the counter, staring at the kitchen that holds so many of my memories. "I don't know, I'm looking forward to being his wife, but with everything going on right now, a wedding just seems...silly." Mama scoffs. "There's nothing silly about a wedding. You'll remember it for the rest of your lives. And if everything is so 'going on,' then do you not deserve a chance to stand up in front of your loved ones and tell them how much you love each other?"

I smile. "You just don't want your first grandchild born in sin."

"I will have that if I drive you to the courthouse myself," Mama says stubbornly. "You are thinking about too much. It's not good for baby."

Both of us make the spitting noise in unison, and I smile.

"Take Dante away from his work for a day. Spend it together. Stop your worrying," Mama says. "Or I will make you."

Her threat rings true. I have one midterm today, but then the rest of my classes are basically just study periods. It wouldn't be hard to blow off the rest of the day and spend it with Dante. That is, if I can pull him away from his worrying. "Thanks, Mama," I say. "And I'm sorry about Nicky."

"Stop that." I can picture her shaking her head. "Be happy, zouzouni, and make me happy."

I hang up with my mind whirling. By the time Dante wanders down, I've over-steeped my tea and brewed a new cup. His pajama pants hang low on his waist, exposing a tantalizing V of muscles, and I wonder for a moment if I could forge a doctor's note good enough to make up my midterm.

"What are you thinking?" He smiles as he starts the coffee pot. "If you're worrying about getting to class, I'm happy to drive."

I shake my head. "About us."

He sucks in a breath. "I should tell you something. Last night-"

I put up a hand, and he stops.

"Is this about the wedding?"

He nods.

"Mama called to yell at me for not telling her."

He winces. "I'm so sorry. Mikey dragged an answer out of me last night, and I forgot to tell him not to tell Adri until the morning."

I shake my head and smile. "It's okay. She responded better when she realized I didn't know."

"Thank God." He sits on a stool. "What do you think about the date? Is next Saturday too soon?"

I blow out a long breath. "It's definitely soon. But I kind of feel like there's no point in wasting time."

"Exactly!" Dante grins. "I asked Mikey the earliest he thought the wives could have it together. I'm tired of calling you my fiancée."

My chest warms, and I fidget with the mug of tea I don't really want to drink. "With that...do you think we could spend some time alone together this week? Like, maybe out here?"

I didn't intend to add that last part. When Dante's eyebrows flick up in surprise, I know I've made a mistake.

"Is this about Henry?" he asks slowly.

I shake my head. "Not really. It's just about everything. I feel like we're both running in a million different directions. I just woke up next to you, and I miss you." I run my hand over my stomach. "We miss you." Dante hops off his stool and wraps me in a hug. "I'm right here, El. Or wherever else you want me. Always."

I nod against his skin. Like this, a wedding doesn't seem so silly at all.

"But I have to ask," he says. "You've been wanting to be out here a lot lately. Any reason why?"

In the safe harbor of his arms, everything pours out. "I feel like I have everything I've ever dreamed of, but it's like the pieces of a dozen different jigsaws. The Tandon pieces don't match the Saints pieces, the baby pieces don't match the city ones, and every time I feel like I've figured out what someone wants me to be, I'm suddenly somewhere else and they want another person entirely."

Dante squeezes me tighter. "Do you know what puzzles you want to finish?"

After a long minute, I nod. "The one with you and me and baby."

"Nothing else?" There's a soft note of surprise in his voice.

"Maybe not." I slump against him, weak with relief. I finally said it. I worked so hard for a life I don't know that I want. Maybe that's not the worst thing in the world. Maybe I can work just as hard to change it.

He kisses the side of my head. "How about we get dressed, I drive you to school, and then I pick you up after your midterm and we talk more?"

I pull back and grin at him. "That sounds perfect."

He swats my ass lightly. "Then get going."

I scurry upstairs and dress quickly. Amando will bring my books from the apartment. Just one midterm, and then Dante and I can figure out our lives.

When I come back down, I hear voices in the kitchen. Is somebody here? I creep down the hall, just in case, and see Dante on the phone.

"Wait for me." He sighs. "I know, just fucking wait!"

He hangs up.

"Dante?" I ask.

His body tenses. Then, he turns to me slowly. "Saints piece. Leo's going to drive you in, but I promise I'll pick you up." He grabs my hand, kisses it, and marches past me up the stairs. I've got a bad feeling he's not going to keep that promise.