Ivan's Queen
Chapter 24 - Bittersweet

January 10th

It’s been almost one month since Ivan went missing. Christmas and New Years came and went but not one person celebrated in the Lycan Kingdom. The news of what occurred on a mid-winter night spread like wildfire throughout the land and devastated its people.

I walk through the quiet hallways towards Ivan’s office. Ever since he went missing it’s like the castle lost its life and color. Everything seems dull now and every corner I turn I’m met with nothing but silence. The staff members and guards send me small and reassuring smiles as I walk past. I return the action like always.

The hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do is put on a strong facade in front of my people when inside I’m breaking every second of every day. Every time a report comes back stating that Ivan hasn’t been found the news chips away at my soul. Our mate bond feels non-existent because ever since that night, I haven’t felt him. Not even a flicker of emotion. Nothing.

I can barely sleep at night without him by my side. The scent of his cologne has faded from the bed sheets and I have now resorted to smelling his clothes in our wardrobe just to remember him. I think I may have stained them with my tears as well.

Every day I wake up and throw myself into work. Today will be the same. Most of my time is taken up by managing my duties and the rest is focusing on the ongoing search. Thankfully, uncle Vulcan and my dad are leading the search parties so we’re getting more area covered in a shorter amount of time.

“Good morning, Amelia.” I’m brought out of my thoughts by Lazarus who meets me half way.

“Morning.” I smile before opening the door to the office and letting him in. “How are you today?”

“Nova tried to make us breakfast this morning so I could be better.” He grunts with a cheeky smile as we take our seats.

I crack a grin as laughter escapes me. Nova can’t cook to save her life but she had a grand idea to try and learn. We all tried to talk her out of it when she almost burnt the castle’s kitchen down but she was having none of it. And when Lazarus, Benno and Hendrix had taken their teasing too far she became determined to prove them wrong.

“What did she make today?” I ask as I take out my files.

“I wouldn’t know since she burnt everything to a crisp!” He exclaims with a huff. “And then she got mad and stormed off when I asked the cook to prepare something.”

“Ooh, bad move.” I wince as I imagine how upset she must be.

“Amelia...” He leans forward with wide blue eyes and his hands outstretched. “It’s been two weeks of eating either burnt or raw food. I can’t take it anymore!”

“Sucks to be you I guess!” I snicker when he groans in frustration.

“Right, let’s get to work. Next thing you know she hears me somehow and kicks me out of the castle this time!” He rolls his eyes playfully as he takes out a familiar map of the kingdom.

“Don’t worry, these walls are soundproof so your secret’s safe with me.” I wink as I place a paperweight on one corner. He grins at me before standing and getting serious.

“Okay, so Ivan was heading here and this is where the car was found.” Lazarus points to two locations in the eastern region of the Lycan kingdom. “We have finished searching all of the southern area. The search parties are heading east today.”

I slump instantly in my chair and feel my resolve crumble. All the regions in the Lycan kingdom are quite large so it takes weeks to search each one thoroughly. The kingdom is divided into north, south, east and west regions. Each of those regions are then further divided into north, south, east and west areas. Since the mountain path that Ivan was on is in the southern area of the eastern region, we started with that first. But we didn’t replace him.

“Dad was telling me that it would help if they had extra trackers to cover more ground. It would cut down the search time by a few hours.” I relay the conversation I had with my father yesterday.

“Yeah, I’ve gathered ten more and Asher is sending five from his kingdom. They should be arriving in two hours and I’ll send them out right after briefing them.” He explains while glancing at his watch.

“Any update on Liev’s whereabouts?” I ask and instantly feel hatred course through my veins at the thought of him.

“Last seen entering the dragon’s kingdom. We’re closing in on him and if he doesn’t catch on like last time he’ll be here in two days.” He replies before a dark glint flickers in his eyes. “Even if he does Ira will snatch him right up.”

“Good.” I smile as I remember the dragon pledging to help me replace Ivan.

After discussing more details about the ongoing search, we make a start on the pending paperwork. The fact that Ivan and our men were so easily pushed off the edge of the mountain angered me beyond belief. Lazarus and I have been working hard to put in safety measures wherever needed. In addition to that we’ve had some rogue wolves who have been going around and spreading word that “the king is dead.” They’re also not being discreet in telling people that Liev will be the new leader soon.

Over my dead body, I scoff mentally. I’d fight tooth and nail before I ever let that bastard take over the throne.

Sighing heavily, I resume my work before looking at photographs of the safety measures that have already been installed in some areas. I tell Lazarus to go down to the current site that is being worked on so that he can check if everything is up to standard. I had taken uncle Vulcan’s advice seriously and not left the castle ever since Ivan went missing. But it’s been hard not to run out there myself to search for Ivan every time a negative report comes back.

Sometime later, Lazarus and I look up at the sound of a knock before Nova peeks in with a bright smile. “I got you some lunch!”

She starts making her way in with two plates of what seems to be chicken sandwiches and chips. However, as soon as she gets close the smell of chicken makes me nauseous and I immediately run to the office’s bathroom. Nova rushes in behind me as I start to empty my insides and holds my hair up. Lazarus helps me stand when I’m done and I make my way over to the sink so that I can clean my mouth.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Nova asks worriedly.

“N-Nothing, I’m fine. It’s just the smell.” I exhale deeply before walking back to the desk. “Thank you for bringing us lunch Nova and I’m sorry I had such a reaction.”

I smile sheepishly as embarrassment colors my cheeks. She grins but it falters when I can’t seem to eat the sandwich no matter how hard I try. The smell is just so strong and I can’t take it. Her eyes narrow thoughtfully as she takes the plate away from me before mumbling that there’s also pasta. Using her speed, she returns to the office with a plate of hot pasta in her hands and thankfully it only has vegetables in it. I thank her as I dig in, feeling much better.

As soon as I’m done, I take some more paperwork and grab a pen so that I could get started again. However, Nova instantly snatches the pile away from me with a wiggle of her finger. I frown in confusion as she stares at me in a stern manner.

“You’ve been working since seven in the morning, Amelia. It’s six now, take the rest of the evening off.” She suggests but her eyes glint dangerously as if daring me to argue.

I look at the clock hanging on the wall and realize that she is right. “I’m okay. I’ll just finish some paperwork and then –”

“Amelia, you need to rest. You’re obviously getting sick with worry.” Lazarus sighs heavily as I lean back in Ivan’s chair. “I can handle the search and report to you every day, please just take a break from all this.”

I shake my head vehemently, knowing that once I’m left to my own devices all I’ll think about is Ivan. “I’m fine, guys. I’m sure it was just a one-time thing.”

Lazarus stares at me silently for a moment before his eyes land on Nova’s restless form. I frown as I take her in, it’s like she’s bursting to tell me something. Lazarus takes her hand and pulls her down onto his lap, encouraging her to speak what’s on her mind. She nervously glances at me before exhaling deeply.

“Amelia, I...I think you could be pregnant!” She blurts and the unexpectedness makes my eyes widen in alarm.

“Nova...” I trail off, not knowing what to say.

“Your period is late by a week, remember?” She reminds me in our private mind link.

“That’s because I’ve been so stressed.” I shrug in reply but frown when she shakes her head.

“Why don’t you take a test just to be on the safe side?” Lazarus interrupts as his wide eyes flicker between Nova and I.

I nod mutely as Nova says she’ll run out to get some pregnancy tests from the castle’s infirmary. Lazarus and I wait in silence mainly because I’m lost in thought. Ivan and I had stopped using protection but having a baby is the last thing on my mind right now. And how would I ever get through it without Ivan by my side? I think to myself before stopping my train of thought. There’s no way I’m pregnant.

Nova comes back into the office and I take the three tests with me to the bathroom. When I’m done, I leave them there and sit down in one of the armchairs. My leg bounces nervously as I wait and wonder what the results will be. I really hope that I’m not pregnant as I feel like now is not the right time to bring a baby into this situation. With Ivan missing and Liev wanting to become leader, it’s dangerous.

After the time is up, I ask Nova to tell me the results. She heads inside and comes back out after a moment with the three tests in her hands. A smile lifts her lips as she looks at me and I immediately know what they say. Strong emotion rises within me alongside utter despair and I replace tears streaming down my cheeks. My hand is shaky as it rises to cover my mouth to stifle my sobs. I’m so happy but terrified at the same time.

“How will I do this without him?” I cry as Nova pulls me into a comforting embrace.

“You’ve got us.” Lazarus squeezes my shoulder in reassurance and Nova nods with a smile. “And I’m sure your family along with the Romanovs will be with you every step of the way.”

“Thank you.” I smile shakily as I look down at my tummy where a baby is growing.

“Amelia.” Nova whispers as she crouches before me and wipes my tears away. “We will keep searching no matter what.”

I nod and sniffle quietly. “I just want him to be here with me. What if he misses my entire pregnancy, the birth and everything after?”

“Then we’ll film it all for him to watch when he comes back!” Lazarus grins boyishly which makes me half laugh, half sob.

“Alright, we’ll do it.” I nod before standing. “I should probably go to the doctor to confirm it.”

“We’ll come with you.” Nova grins excitedly before looping her arm through mine.

We leave the office and make sure it’s locked before making our way downstairs to the infirmary. Everything passes by in a blur as we wait for the doctor, who then takes me inside and soon confirms that I am indeed pregnant. I’m three weeks along.

He tells me that my pregnancy will be three months which I was aware of since my mother went through the same when she had my siblings and I. After he prescribes medication for me and schedules in another appointment, I thank him and leave the office.

I can’t believe I missed all the signs and now that I think about it, I should have figured this out weeks ago. But because I’ve been so stressed and focused on work I put my health and well-being on the back burner. I can also feel that my tummy isn’t as flat as it used to be. I’ve been so oblivious! I think to myself in slight shock.

“I remember reading that a woman’s scent would change if she’s pregnant. Has mine?” I ask Nova and Lazarus once I meet them in the waiting room.

“We all noticed it at the start of this month but it’s a very subtle change. The change in scent is stronger for your mate.” Nova explains as we wait for the nurse to get my medicines and vitamins. “We didn’t think anything of it until I started noticing some signs. You missed your period, you wouldn’t eat certain foods but would crave others and you mentioned that you get frequent headaches. You also get tired quicker now and sometimes you have strong mood swings. But because Ivan is missing I couldn’t be certain whether it was a pregnancy or the mate bond affecting you.”

“Oh...” I mutter as I process everything that’s been happening to my body over the past few weeks. “Well, thank you for telling me Nova.”

“Of course!” She smiles as we collect my medicines and make our way upstairs. “Will you be telling your family and the Romanov’s soon?”

“Yes, I think I’ll call them now.” I nod as we reach my room. “I’ll see you two at dinner?”

“Yes! I’ve found a new recipe that I think you guys will love!” Nova squeals excitedly while Lazarus grimaces behind her.

“That’s great, Nova! I can’t wait to try it.” I grin and struggle not to laugh at Lazarus’ panicked expression.

She smiles widely and with a flutter of her beautiful wings, she bids goodbye and drags her husband down the hallway. I can literally feel his dread and it makes me laugh as soon as they’re out of earshot. Making my way inside my bedroom, I grab my phone and take a seat by the window. I call home first and as the ringtone blares I gaze at the barren trees. There’s still snow on the ground and more flakes tumbling down from the sky above. I wonder how he is and if he’s warm. I wonder if he’s watching the snowflakes just like I am.

“Hello, darling. How are you?” My mom greets in her comforting voice which instantly brings tears to my eyes.

“I’m good, mom. How are you and everyone else?” I sigh as I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes. Hearing my mother’s voice instantly takes all my worries away for a moment.

“Everything’s fine here. Any luck with the search?” She asks with a worried undertone.

“No.” I wipe away a traitorous tear. God, all I’ve been doing is crying lately, I think to myself.

“We’ll replace him Amelia, don’t you worry. He’s a fighter and a lover. I have no doubt in my mind that he’ll fight heaven and hell to come back to you.” Her words make me laugh and bring me hope which I appreciate.

“Thanks mom.” I reply softly as I pick at the hem of my jumper. “I’ve got some news...I’m pregnant. Three weeks along.”

“Honey, that’s amazing news! I’m so happy for you! I’m going to be a grandmother!” She immediately starts crying which makes me laugh again. “Oh, I just wish...”

“Yeah, me too mom.” I sigh as my heart aches painfully. “Me too.”

We talk some more before I bid her goodbye and call aunt Aurora. Like my mother she cries as well, not just because she’s happy but because she’s sad that Ivan isn’t here. It’s honestly the most bittersweet moment.

“I’ll be there soon, okay? I’m going to take such good care of you that you’ll be sick of me by the end of it!” She laughs through her sobs and I replace myself in the same state. “And don’t you dare stress out, you hear me? Ivan will be back but until then you need to take care of yourself and your baby.”

“I will, I promise.” I smile as I wipe my wet cheeks.

After talking some more about the time Ivan was a little baby and the things he would get up to, I bid her goodbye. Next, I call Ayla before calling both uncle Romanov and my dad. As expected, everyone becomes quite emotional but are happy for me nonetheless. Ayla promises to come over as soon as possible while uncle Romanov and my dad say they’ll be back for a quick rest after the search of the east area.

I stay by the window after I’ve talked to everyone just processing the fact that I’m pregnant. I’m going to be a mother and I already feel so protective of the life growing inside of me. I hope it’s a baby boy who looks just like his father. He would be such a heart-breaker.

I’ll do everything in my power to keep him safe and loved.

But just as I think that I’m reminded of the person that attacked Ivan and is gathering people on his side so that he can take over the throne. If he hears that I’m pregnant I’m more at risk. Liev will want to make sure I don’t bring my child into this world and he will stop at nothing. I can’t let that happen!

I mind link Lazarus immediately and give the order. “Find Liev and bring him to me.”