Jaded Hearts
Chapter 18

Taylor

Morgan and I were sitting at the island and eating some sliced fruit when the guys came in from training. They looked filthy and exhausted and ready to pass out, but when Kade saw Morgan, he immediately perked up. He walked over and lifted her up, placed her on the counter, and stood between her legs.

He kissed her neck and pulled her forward flush against him. “You’re all sweaty, and you stink. You need a shower, Kade.”

“I do, and you’re coming with me.” Before she could answer, he had her wrapped around his waist and was running upstairs. All I heard was her giggling the entire way.

Xander and Alexi waved at me as they walked by and went to their room. It looked like this would be the new normal for us now.

“Gimme some … please.”

I turned my head slightly to see Matt leaned dramatically over the island, looking at my bowl of fruit. I smiled and picked up a chunk of pineapple and offered it to him.

He opened up and took the entire piece, sucking my fingers into his mouth along with it.

He licked each one of my fingers clean while looking me in my eyes. “Mmm, that’s so good. Sweet and juicy. Give me more.”

My eyes were focused on his mouth when I reached back to my bowl and grabbed a piece of mango. Once I offered it, he bit down and pulled it from my fingers, then stepped behind me and rubbed its juices all along the back of my neck.

I could feel the cold liquid running over my skin before he leaned down and licked it up.

“Oh my god,” I whispered.

“Do I stink, Tesoro? Do I need to go take a shower?”

His warm breath was at my ear, giving me chills. “Yes, but I love the way you smell.”

“And I love the way you smell; sweeter than that entire bowl. Can I taste you, baby?”

“Yes.”

“That’s my girl. Let’s go to the room. I’ll need a shower to wash off all the filthy things I’m about to do to you.” He picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder, caveman style.

These men were animals, and I wasn’t complaining at all.

* * *

Matt

Kade was smiling all through training this morning. He’s usually only this happy when he’s screwing with one of us, but not today.

It was nice. I was happy that he finally had what the rest of us had, even though I was jealous that he got it so quickly. “What made you just blurt out that you’re a wolf? Weren’t you worried you’d scare her off?” I asked while pumping through push-ups.

“She’s my mate, so she has to be like me in a way, right? Straight forward, just tell me what’s up, and let me make a decision. I figured she’d probably want the same, and it turns out I was right.”

“So, she’s totally cool with being this pack’s Beta female and living with hundreds of wolves? She accepted it, just like that?”

“Well, we haven’t gotten that far yet. Besides that first talk in the restaurant, all of our conversations have been had while naked. We’ve been more than a little distracted.”

“Kade, stop thinking with your d**k and talk to your mate. You have to explain our world to her so that she can be a part of it. The Moon Goddess didn’t give her to you just for s*x,” Xander stated.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll talk to her today. Maybe she can spend some time with Taylor and Alaia too. I’m sure they can explain things that I can’t. I’m just happy to finally have her. She’s a female version of me, so you know she’s perfect,” he said with another huge smile.

That had me rolling my eyes. “Great. We couldn’t get enough of your mouth, so why not add another ‘you’ to the mix?”

“Exactly.”

When we made it back to the house, all thoughts of talking clearly went out the window when Kade snatched Morgan up and ran her upstairs. I knew he’d eventually come up for air, but I really hoped it was sooner rather than later. Morgan meant the world to Taylor, so if she was hurt, so was my princess, and I couldn’t have that.

* * *

Taylor

After our very dirty shower, Matt and I were in the room and getting dressed for a walk to the waterfall. He wanted to take me somewhere quiet so that we could have some stress-free alone time—something we really needed after the insanity of the last few days.

“Matt, I need to ask you something.”

He looked up from his phone and focused his beautiful baby blue eyes on me.

“My god, you’re gorgeous. It’s really distracting sometimes.”

“Well, I’m both happy and sorry to hear that, sweetheart. What did you want to ask?”

“Right! So … why does a wolf mark its mate?”

He scrunched his nose for a second while he thought about the answer.

“It sounds bad, but it’s basically marking your territory. It lets other wolves know that you’ve been claimed, and it also deepens the bond between the pair. Once I mark you, we’ll be able to mindlink one another. I’ll be able to feel your emotions too. If you’re ever in pain, I’ll feel it as well. Marking makes us a complete pair.”

“So, why haven’t you marked me yet? Do you not want to complete that bond with me?”

“You know that’s not it at all. You’ve just had a crazy few days; I didn’t want to add anything else right now.”

“If I’m a human, I can’t mark you, can I?”

“Not in the traditional sense, no.”

“So, the shewolves will think you’re still available?”

“Taylor, the pack knows I have my mate. They know that I’m not ‘available.’ I’ve actually never been available to any of them.”

“But what about shewolves from other packs? They see you as an incredibly attractive unmarked male, right?”

“I guess so?”

“Thought so.”

“Taylor, what’s wrong, baby? What’s this all about?”

“You can claim me, but I can’t claim you. I’ll be yours, but you won’t be mine, not completely. Our bond won’t be as strong as it should be. I’ll be the weak link, Matt.”

“I’ve always been yours, tesoro. A mark doesn’t change that. It doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter? Really? Then why are you planning to mark me if it doesn’t matter?! Just admit that this is important to you. Please!”

Matt growled deep in his chest and stood to pace the floor.

“Don’t you growl at me, damnit. Answer the question.”

“Yes, it matters. You belong to me; you’re mine! Every f*****g wolf needs to know that if they touch you, I’ll kill them. It’s important. My mark will protect you, and I just want to keep you safe.”

“I appreciate that, but I want to be able to keep myself safe too. You can’t always be next to me. I want you to turn me.”

“Taylor, please.”

“I want them to know you’re mine. I want to feel what you feel; I want our bond to be completed. Don’t just give me half of you, please. I know we can do this.”

I walked over and took Matt’s hands. “One day, I want to become your wife and the mother of your children. Don’t you want that?”

“Of course, I do. More than anything.”

“Then turn me, Matt. We can’t have the future we both want if my body isn’t strong enough to allow it.”

He crumpled to the floor, pulled his knees up, and hung his head. I had promised him that I wouldn’t make him do anything that would hurt him, and I was breaking that promise. “I can’t lose you. If you don’t survive this, that’s it for me, tesoro.”

“You can survive anything, baby, I know you can.”

He lifted his head and looked me in the eye. “No. I won’t. I will die with you. That is a promise.”

The seriousness in his eyes scared me. Was he saying what I think he was saying? “Matt …”

“Is that a risk you’re willing to take, Taylor? Is this that important to you?” That sucked the wind out of me, and I fell to my knees next to him. I couldn’t imagine a world without Matt in it. And I couldn’t imagine him being taken from his family because of me.

The thought crushed me.

“No. I won’t take that risk. It’s too much.”

I broke down crying. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I’d never have the family with him that I wanted. I’d never feel what it was like to be totally complete. Matt pulled me into his arms and cradled me against his chest while I let all the pain out.

I could hear him sniffling, and I looked up to see that his face was wet with tears of his own. I wiped them away and gave him a gentle k**s. “I’ll never ask again. I promise,” I whispered to him.

He smiled and kissed the top of my head. “I love you so much, baby. So, I’ll do it. I’ll turn you.”

“No! Please, Matt. I don’t have to have children. I can just adopt or something. This family needs you.”

“And they’ll have me. And you too. You’re stronger than either of us knows. You’ll survive, and when you wake up, I’ll wear your mark, and you’ll have my babies.”

* * *

Matt

Watching Taylor break down the way she did ripped my heart out. What she wanted, she didn’t want for selfish reasons. She wanted to be able to give me babies, something I wanted more than anything. Taylor would be an amazing mother to our children, and she wanted to fully bond with me.

She was trying to be the best mate for me, and I was allowing my fears to cage her in. There was no way I was ever letting her go, but was I willing to keep her with me, knowing that I could be stopping her from becoming a mother one day?

That wasn’t fair to her.

But then she gave it all up for me. She was willing to leave that part of herself behind just to be with me. I couldn’t let her do that. She deserved for me to at least try, and I would. I would try, and I would succeed. I would make her a wolf.

“Taylor, if we’re going to do this, we have to do it soon. Like, tonight.”

Her eyes got huge, and she jumped back a bit. “Tonight? Why?”

“For a few reasons. First, with Drew still out there, this will make you safer. Your safety is still my priority. Second, you could already be pregnant. It’ll take a couple of weeks to know for sure, but if you are, you’ll need to be turned to carry and give birth safely. Plus, if we do it now, it wouldn’t harm the baby. And third, if I don’t do it now, I’ll talk myself out of it.”

She looked around the room, then focused her attention back on me. “So, what do we need to do?”

“Nothing special. I think it’ll be best if we do it down in the pack hospital, though. That way, you can be monitored closely and have an IV to keep you hydrated.”

“And you’ll be there the whole time?”

“Of course, I will. There’s nothing that can take me away from you, especially during something like this.”

“Okay.”

“Good, now let’s go on this waterfall date because tonight is going to absolutely suck.”lm