Jaded Hearts
Chapter 58

Taylor

I always knew that my parents would go before me, but that doesn’t make the situation any easier. For the past few days, I’ve been numb. That’s the only way to describe it. I haven’t wanted to eat or drink much of anything at all. I didn’t want to talk to anyone; I just wanted to stay in bed with the shades drawn and wallow.

It was selfish, I know it was, but I just couldn’t make myself move.

I was so happy that I had Matt, Alaia, Morgan, and Giana to step in to care for Genesis because I had been an extremely shitty mother. When Morgan came into the room carrying the baby, I was preparing myself for another round of questions.

Had I eaten? Did I need anything? How was I holding up?

That’s not what I got. At all.

“Get up, Tay. We need your boobs.”

I rolled over and just stared at her.

“Excuse me?”

“Boobs! Pull them out, now.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Your daughter is hungry, and she’s not a fan of the bottles. She wants the real thing. So let’s go.”

She snapped her fingers at me, signaling me to hurry up. At the same time, Genesis let out a small cry and wiggled in Morgan’s arms, making my breasts instantly hurt and leak. Damnit. My body knew what my own child needed better than I did.

I sat up and reached for the baby, who Morgan gladly passed over to me. Within seconds, she had latched on and was greedily filling her little tummy. Morgan plopped down on the bed beside me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you have to. You’re an only child, so this all falls to you. What’s the move?”

“I don’t know, Morgan. How am I supposed to do this?”

“Easy. You put on your big girl panties and get to work. Your parents didn’t raise you to sit in the corner and mope. They raised you to ‘do,’ so get your a*s up and honor their memory.”

“I’d love to, but I don’t even know where to start. I can’t do this.”

“Bullshit, Tay. You start at the hospital. You need to fill out the paperwork, call funeral homes, and go to the house and replace their insurance documents. What you can’t do, Matt or I will. You know what you need to do. You’re not an i***t; you’re just scared.”

She could be harsh sometimes, but it was always when I needed it the most.

“You’re mean. I thought best friends were supposed to love each other.”

“I love you plenty, and that’s why I won’t let you sit here in a dark room anymore. We’ve got work to do, and Nancy and Robert deserve your best.”

“I miss them so much.”

“I know you do, sweetie, and you probably always will. But life has to go on. You’ve got to keep moving and take care of that little angel of yours. Do it for them.”

I sighed and laid my head on her shoulder. She was so right, and my parents did deserve for me to take care of them this one last time.

“Did Matt send you in here?”

“Nah, I came on my own. He loves you way too much to hit you with tough love. He’s just too sweet, so I knew I had to do it.”

“Thank you. You always know when I need my a*s kicked, even if I don’t.”

“Hell yeah, I do. Now hurry up and finish feeding the baby so you can take a shower. You seriously stink.”

* * *

A few hours later, I was at the hospital filling out paperwork for death certificates and where I would have their bodies transferred to. Somehow, I was able to push down my sadness and just focus on the task: taking care of them. They had cared for me my entire life, and now it was my turn.

“Taylor, baby? Do you know where you’d like them buried?” Matt asked as we drove to my parents’ house.

“They didn’t want to be buried. They both always said they wanted to be cremated and sprinkled somewhere special. So that’s what I’ll do.”

“Okay. That’ll make things a little easier for you. Did you want to have a memorial service?”

“Yes. I’ll do something small at their place. That seems like the best idea.”

He took my hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. “I’m really proud of you, Taylor. Your parents would be too.”

“I really hope so.”

We pulled up to the house, and it was strange walking in and not smelling my mom’s coffee that was always brewing or hearing ESPN blaring on the TV. The house was so empty without them. It made me miss them even more. I had a lot of decisions to make in the next few weeks, and some of them would be really tough, but I knew I could handle it.

“So, what are we looking for?” Matt asked.

“I need their important documents. Mortgage info, life insurance policies, that sort of thing. My dad kept a safe in his office, so I’m sure it’s probably all in there.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Nothing, babe. Just have a seat, and I’ll be right back.”

He pulled me in for a hug and kissed my temple. “Let me know if you need me. I’ll be right here.”

I walked up to the second floor and into the guest room dad had made into his office. On the desk was a shiny new picture frame with a shot from the baby shower of Dad, me, and James, all with huge smiles on our faces.

That was an amazing day.

Then there was another picture of Mom, Dad, and Genesis on the day she was born. I couldn’t help the few tears that fell while looking at it. They were so proud of their granddaughter, and they’d had so many plans for how they were going to spoil her.

“I’ll make sure she knows all about how amazing you guys were. I promise.”

I put the frame down and went to the closet to open the safe. Dad was so predictable, so I knew the combination would be a birthday or anniversary. Once I was in, I was happy to see that all the documents I needed were right there and neatly organized.

I took them to the desk and began to shuffle through. They had more than enough in life insurance to pay off their credit cards, car loans, and the house if I wanted. Or I could sell it and put all the money in an account for Genesis.

Choices I would make later.

Matt knocked on the door, then poked his head in. “I just wanted to check on you, angel.”

My god, he was the sweetest man alive. “I’m doing alright. Dad had OCD when it came to keeping important documents organized, so it was easy to replace everything.”

“I called a few places to see about their cremation services. I can take care of that part since you’ve already done most of the paperwork, and you and Morgan can set up the memorial. How does that sound?”

And once again, I was crying.

“That’s perfect! Thank you so much. I didn’t know if I was strong enough to make those calls yet.”

He wrapped me in his arms as I sobbed into his chest. “You could have done it. I just did it before you got the chance. That’s all.”