Jaded Hearts
Chapter 60

Taylor

What had I just gotten myself in to?!

I was always honest with Matt. No matter how difficult a conversation was, I promised myself that I’d always tell him the truth, so there was no way that I couldn’t tell him what I was feeling.

But now I was in the most uncomfortable situation I’d ever been in.

“Please don’t read too much into what just happened. I’ve had an emotional few days, and I think that a lot of bottled-up thoughts and feelings are trying to spill out. When death hits this close to home, you realize just how short life is and that you shouldn’t live with regrets.”

“You regret your life with me?” Matt asked.

The hurt on his face broke my heart. I was seriously screwing this up.

“No! I don’t regret a single moment I’ve spent with you. You are my very best friend, the father of my child, and the other half to my soul. You’re everything to me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. If my life isn’t spent with you, then I don’t want it.”

“Then, can you explain what just happened?”

“Sure. You two are very handsome and attractive men. Yes, my heart belongs to you, but I still have eyes. All day I’m surrounded insanely beautiful men. It can be distracting for sure. I just got distracted.”

“So, by ‘distracted,’ you mean you were imagining both of us touching you at the same time?” Tyson asked.

Matt growled and made a move to attack him, but I stepped in the way before he could.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Am I not a part of this conversation?” Tyson sarcastically asked.

“You are.” I pushed on Matt’s chest when he tried to advance on Tyson again and looked him in the eye.

“He is a part of this, so he has the right to speak. Calm down.”

He took a step back and let out a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m calm. Could you give us a minute to talk? Just me and her?” Matt asked Tyson.

“Sorry about this. Can we try training again tomorrow?” I asked him.

“Of course we can, gorgeous. I’ll see you two later.”

As soon as he left the room, Matt grabbed me and pulled me in for a crushing k**s. His lips easily overtook mine, and his tongue invaded and touched every surface of my mouth. My lungs burned from lack of oxygen, but I didn’t want to break the k**s, not yet.

When he pulled away, I sucked in a deep breath and tried to slow my heartbeat.

“You’re mine, and you’ll always be mine. My life is nothing without you.”

“I know, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise me, Taylor. Promise me that you’ll always be mine, no matter what. I can’t lose you.”

The way he was holding the sides of my face and looking deep into my eyes made me so sad. Was he actually afraid that I would ever leave him? My world would stop turning without him.

“I swear to you, Matt. I’m yours. Until my last breath, I’m yours.”

He pulled me to his chest, and I rested my cheek against his bare skin.

“I’ve never hated Tyson, you know. In Rome, I didn’t like him because he was much too comfortable with you, and I knew how dangerous bears could be, but I didn’t hate him. When I thought he was sent to kill you, I think I skipped right past hate to murderous rage. Then I was much more comfortable with him when it came out that he was planning to kill me instead. Then he helped with Drew. He didn’t have to, but he did. And he’s still helping with anything we ask of him. I respect him—a lot. Six months really can change your perspective on a person.”

“He’s a good guy.”

“He is. So, have you thought about it? Having two mates?”

I knew the question would come.

Honesty.

“Yes. It’s hard not to, seeing Alaia, Xander, and Alexi. And now the babies. It’s all around me.”

“Then tell me, and answer honestly. You’ve never lied to me before, right?”

He cupped my face again in his hands and held eye contact.

“I’ve never lied to you, and I never will.”

“Good. Do you want to have two mates?”

* * *

Matt

“Besides you and our daughter, I don’t know what I want. My mind is a mess. My emotions are a mess. I couldn’t possibly try and make a decision like that right now.”

“I understand, sweetie. I do. Let’s go upstairs and get cleaned up. We can talk about this some other time, okay?”

She nodded her head then wrapped her arms around my chest.

What was with this f*****g pack and having to share our mates? Who came up with this s**t? I needed to talk to Xander. If anyone could help me wrap my mind around this, it would be him. I dropped Taylor off at the room and went to check on Genesis. When I walked into the nursery, Morgan was there, changing her diaper.

“Hey, Morgan. How’s my little princess doing?”

“She’s good. She just woke up a few minutes ago. I’m going to feed her, then take her down to hang out with her boyfriends.”

“Not her boyfriends. Let her at least learn to hold her head up all the way before we start using that word.”

Morgan laughed at the look on my face, then sat down with the bottle, which Genesis happily accepted.

“Taylor and I just finished training with your cousin, so she’s in the shower now. She’ll probably come join you ladies soon.”

“Training, huh? How did that go?”

Morgan had a smirk on her face that was identical to the one Tyson had when we were in the gym. The Frederick family was a pain in the a*s, I swear.

“Shut up, Morgan. You probably already knew how it would go.”

“I didn’t know anything. But I do know that I love all three of you, and I want you guys to be happy. With all the pain she’s been through in her life, she deserves all the happiness she can get.”

“You’re right about that. I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you later. And no more ‘boyfriend’ talk around my daughter.”

“Sure, sure,” Morgan said as she waved me off.

Walking down the hall, I sent Xander a link.

Hey, are you busy? I really need to talk to you.

No, I’m just finishing up some paperwork in my office. Is everything alright?

I don’t know, but I’m coming up to you. I’ll be there in a minute.

When I got to his office, I walked right in and paced the floor. Xander watched me for a bit before he finally spoke. “Tell me what’s wrong, Matt. Your pacing isn’t going to fix anything.”

I stopped and looked at him.

“How did you do it? How did you make the choice to step back and share Alaia? And with Alexi, someone you wanted to kill on more than one occasion. How did you put aside the jealousy and possessiveness and come to the conclusion that this was the right move to make?”

I knew the question would come.

Honesty.

“Ohh, I see now. I figured we’d have this conversation sooner or later.”

“WHAT?! You knew too?”

“Stop f*****g yelling and sit your a*s down. I don’t know anything, but it’s not like I didn’t see the similarities. I know you have too.”

I sat on the couch and threw my head back. “What do I do, Xan?”

“I don’t know.”

I lifted my head and looked at him. “That’s all you have to say? You’re supposed to have some words of wisdom. You’re my Alpha. You’re supposed to guide me and lead me and all that shit.”

He laughed and shook his head.

“Yes, I’m your Alpha, but it’s not my job to guide you in something like this. I don’t hold dominion over your entire life, especially not your love life. This is for you to figure out.”

I stood up and stormed off towards the door. “Wait! Just wait a minute, sit down.”

I walked back to the couch and sat.

“I can’t tell you what to do. I can just tell you why I did what I did.”

“Fine, I’ll take what I can get.”

“Alaia grew up with Alexi, and she loved him that entire time. Even if they didn’t know it, their entire pack knew they would be mates; they were just drawn to one another. Yes, he was an i***t who rejected her, but that didn’t break the love she had for him. He was her first love. He was special to her, and he would always be special to her. I wanted her to be happy. No … I needed her to be happy.

She was given to me by the Goddess, and I was going to cherish that gift. So, I thought about it. What is the best way to truly appreciate someone you love more than anything else in the world? You give them any and everything they could ever want and need. For her, it was having both me and Alexi.

When I piss her off, which I often do, he’s there to calm her down and make her smile again. And vice versa. She’s never angry or upset for too long. She’s always smiling, and she’s always happy. My life is full of joy because I chose to overflow hers with it.”

I wasn’t expecting such a deep and real answer. Xan has never been the type to express himself this way.

“So you just loved her more than yourself?”

“Pretty much. Look, I know it’s a hard thing to do. As wolves and men, we are naturally protective of our women. We want them to be ours and ours alone. But I don’t think the gods and goddesses or the spirits make mistakes. They know things that we don’t. So, you can either trust in their plan or make your own. But whatever you do, just make sure it’s done with both of your best interests at heart. If sharing her will hurt you, then don’t do it. You deserve peace and happiness as much as anyone else.”

I took a few minutes to digest all he’d just said. This was heavy, and I didn’t know what I would do.

“You should start charging for these sessions, man. You’re a damn good counselor,” I said with a laugh.

“I’m just a good friend, that’s all. Now get out of my office and go figure your life out.”

When I walked out, I pulled out my phone and sent Tyson a text.

Now it was time to talk to him man to man.