Jaded Hearts
Chapter 63

Matt

“How is she doing, sweetheart? Do you need me to do anything?” My mom asked through the phone.

“She’s good. Better than I expect her to be, but she’s got a ton of distraction here in the house. No one lets her stay down for too long.”

“That’s good to know. She needs plenty of love and support right now. I didn’t want to ask while I was there, but should we move forward with the wedding plans? Everything can be put on hold if you’d like, or we can make changes if we need to. Whatever is best for you and Taylor.”

“Yes, we’re still having the wedding. But now the date is set in stone. If anyone can’t do April 11, then we move on and replace a different vendor. I want to honor Nancy at the ceremony, and this is a great way to do it.”

“Alright. Well, the baby and I are home now, so I’m going to get her fed, then put her down for a nap. Text me what you want on the new invites, and I’ll get them ordered right away.”

“I just sent it. Thank you, Mom.”

“You’re welcome, baby. Have a good night.”

I hung up and leaned back in my chair. Life was currently kicking my a*s, with no sign of reprieve anywhere in sight. With everything that was happening, I was beyond thankful that this house was full of so many different personalities to keep Taylor busy.

It reminded me of what Xander had said about Alaia. Alexi was always there to make her smile when he couldn’t. Our family here was doing the same thing. It would take all of us together to keep each other strong.

We needed each other, whether I wanted to admit it or not. I couldn’t do it all by myself.

Hey, you sexy, sneaky, blabbermouth!

Tesoro? What did I do?

You told him, didn’t you?

Told who what, baby?

Tyson! You told him what you overheard about the date.

I did. Is that a problem?

Maybe! I don’t know if I even really want to figure this out. What you and I have is perfect already. Why change that?

It wouldn’t change anything between us. You’ll still be my fiancé and soon-to-be wife. You’ll still be the mother of my child and my entire world. It would just make your life fuller if it’s what you want.

I don’t know. But I do know that I don’t want to hurt you. Ever. I’d give up everything I have if it would guarantee that you would never be hurt.

You won’t hurt me, I promise. Why don’t you talk to Alaia? She’s been where you are before. Maybe she can help you get your thoughts in order.

Okay. I’ll go replace her when I’m done. I’ve got to go now. We’re about to start self-defense training. I love you.

I love you too.

I put in my headphones, tuned out the world, then dove into work. I was going to catch up with everything that was past due or almost due, so I could take the time to be with my family.

Everyone I loved was safe and secure, so I could focus my energy elsewhere and take care of my other responsibilities.

* * *

Taylor

“Alright, sunshine, this is hand-to-hand, but not on my part. When I tell you to hit, I want you to actually do it. As hard as you can, okay?”

“Why? What if I hit too hard and hurt you?”

“I can take it. Just do what I’m telling you. You need to know how it feels to actually hit another person.”

Why?! And he didn’t have on pads or anything. What if I kneed him in the crotch and ruined his chances of having children? Did he want children? I just pushed out a wolf; a bear would destroy my honeypot.

Focus!

“Fine, but put something on to protect that general area,” I said, pointing down below his waist.

“This ‘general area?’ Is that what you learned in med school?”

“Just do it, please. I can’t be comfortable unless you do.”

“Aww, I didn’t know you cared so much, gorgeous.”

“Listen, if Tyson Jr. gets damaged, don’t blame me. I tried to warn you.”

“I’ll look out for Tyson Jr. You ready?”

I was more than ready; I was excited as hell. Finally, I’d learn how to protect myself. I was done being seen as weak.

I nodded my head and held my hands up.

In a flash, Tyson smoothly moved behind me and pinned me to the floor with my arms behind my back.

“Ahh! What the hell was that?!”

“Not all attacks are head-on. You need to be prepared for anything.”

He let me go, then helped me to my feel. I was already frustrated, and we’d just started.

“This is going to be tough, alright? You have to learn how to anticipate someone’s move before they even know they’re going to do it. I’m going to push you—hard. You’re going to be sore and tired and pissed off with me. But I promise that when we’re done, you will have no problem protecting your life or the life of your daughter if you’re ever cornered and alone. Trust me and focus. You can do this.”

“Fine, but you have to show me how you did that one day. That was insane.”

He laughed, then nodded. “Deal. Now, let’s go again.”

We went at it for two solid hours, and I was beyond exhausted. All my muscles were tight and burning, but I was proud of myself for sticking with it and learning. And Tyson was a really good trainer. He made the whole thing fun, but that was probably because I was being allowed to kick and punch him as much as I wanted.

It was cathartic. I was working through all the hate and resentment I held for Drew and getting stronger in the process. I was finally freeing myself from him and his demons once and for all.

“How do you feel? You’ve got a decent right hook,” Tyson said, smiling down at me.

“I had to use it a few times when I worked at Eden, but I’m sure it’s much better now. And I feel good, I’m sure I look like roadkill at the moment, but I feel good.”

“You’re perfect, Taylor. Do you even realize how beautiful you are?”

I tilted my head and looked up at him. “How beautiful am I exactly?”

“Beautiful enough to make a man like me change my entire life just to be able to spend time with you. Enough for me to give up the idea of dating and trying to replace the smallest bit of happiness with someone else because all I want is you. You’re beautiful enough to make me do anything you’d ask if it would make you smile.”

“Really? Do you honestly feel that way in your heart, or do you feel it because the Mother Spirit told you to? Do you see me and just see my looks, or do you see the person I am? Who is it that you want? And are you totally sure that you want a life with me, for me, and not to atone for past mistakes? You figure that out and let me know when we have dinner. Your answers will go a long way in helping determine where the two of us will end up.”

* * *

Tyson

Sunshine gave her speech and walked out of the room, leaving me more than a little bit shocked … and turned on. I’d never had to work for a woman before, and never thought I’d have to work for my own partner, but Taylor wasn’t your average woman. She was so much more. The questions she asked did get me thinking, though.

I didn’t think that I was only drawn to her because of the Mother Spirit. I’m pretty sure I loved her the moment I met her, well before she was revealed to be mine. But I would take the time and think about everything she’d said. She deserved that. And when the time came, I’d tell her how I felt, hoping that she felt at least a fraction of it.

I wouldn’t force her to love me if she didn’t want to; I wouldn’t force anything on her. But if the seed was there, I’d spend my life nurturing it and watching it grow.

* * *

Taylor

After my shower, I found Alaia in her dressing room, looking for an outfit for a date she had with Xander.

“You’re just going out with Xander? What about Alexi? I thought you three were always together.”

“Oh, no. That would be a disaster. Xander and Alexi feed off each other, and they’re insanely competitive. If we spent all of our time together, they would kill each other.”

“Really?! You guys seem so happy.”

“We are. I love them, they love me, and they respect each other. But they aren’t married to each other; they’re married to me. It’s my job to keep both of my marriages strong, so I like to spend time with my husbands individually whenever I can. Just because I have two mates doesn’t mean they should have half of one. They each deserve my full undivided attention, and tonight, Xander’s going to get that.”

“Mind blown, Alaia. I think that’s something that has bothered me so much; the thought of having two men in my life is daunting. And Matt is too good to be cheated out of love. He deserves the world.”

Alaia smiled and closed her eyes.

“I had the same thoughts. When I found Xander, he took over my existence. He became my everything. How could I split my heart with him and Alexi, when Xander owned all of it? But then I realized, I’m not splitting my heart. They both get all of me. When I look in Alexi’s eyes, I just see him and the love we share. I see our journey. When I see Xander, I see the strong Alpha he is, and I’m so proud to be the Luna who supports him. I love them both fully, without fault, and show it every chance I get. And they know it. It’s hard and tiring sometimes, but knowing that my men are happy makes it worth it.”

“Okay, but what if they both want you at the same time?”

She smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Are we talking s*x or just quality time?”

Hell, I’d come this far. I might as well get all the info I could.

“Both.”

“Let’s start with s*x. You better start doing some yoga or gymnastics ‘cause you’re going to need to be extremely flexible. s*x with one wolf is athletic enough, but you’ve got a wolf and a bear. Damn. Anyway, most of the time, I’m having s*x with one or the other, but when it’s both at the same time, it’s insane. I have to remember what each one likes and doesn’t like and do them at the same time with the same passion and intensity. You become a multitasking pro—trust me. But at the same time, when it’s both, they again feed off each other and try to see who can make me c*m the hardest or quickest. So, I may be working double time, but I’m also climaxing twice as much, twice as hard. Win-win.”

“Okay, what about quality time? Like your date nights.”

“That’s easier. Whoever’s free is free. They both have jobs outside of the pack that keep them busy. Some nights, Xander is in his office late into the night, ironing out deals and contracts. It’s those times when it’s just me and Alexi. And vice versa. If they’re both free, we’ll sometimes all go out together or have a quiet movie night here at the house. You just have to be flexible and recognize when each one needs you.”

“Do they ever get jealous or feel like you favor one over the other?”

“Not yet, but I’m sure it may happen. And again, they respect each other and the relationships we have. Xander knows that Alexi is my husband, so he’s treated as just that: hugs, k****s, blowjobs in the pantry, whatever. And when it’s Xander’s time, and he has me cuffed to the bed, Alexi doesn’t interfere. Then something like ‘help me with my tie’ or ‘where are my cuff links,’ that’s first come, first served.”

She should seriously hold a conference on ways to successfully balance multiple lovers. Her experience was invaluable, and I was eating it up.

“This is information overload. It’s all such a delicate balance, every day. What if I screw it up, and one of them ends up hurt? Or both of them? Then I’m all by myself left with a child to raise.”

“First of all, you can’t think like that. And second, you won’t ever be alone. I don’t know how bears do it, but wolves are with their mate for life. There’s no ‘calling it quits,’ especially once you’ve been marked. You and Matt literally cannot live without each other.

If you don’t remember anything else that we talked about today, remember this: these are two different men with two different personalities. Matt is the sweetest and most loving and compassionate man I’ve ever known, my husbands included. Then you have Tyson. He’s big and brooding and dangerous, in a dark and sexy way.

Don’t ever compare them to each other. They aren’t the same; they’re polar opposites. If one does something, don’t expect the other to do it the same way. You’ll just disappoint them and yourself. Love them separately for who they are. Remember that, and you’ll rock having two men in your life.”