Jax's X Game The Axelridge Series Book 2
Chapter 29

(Chapter song ‘Numb' by Holly McNarland)

AUDREY

“How did he take it?”

“Um…he seemed alright.”

I sit in the hospital bed at Axelridge General and stare at the city through the window. My confession to Jax plays on my mind. I hope I did the right thing. If I’m being honest, it felt good to get it off my chest. I told Sophie years ago, but not telling Jax was something that haunted me during our whole separation. I didn’t really care if he hated me for it, I just wanted him to know.

“It's good you told him, Rey. He loves you. You need to be open and honest with the one you love or you’ll never feel right.” Sophie lays across the foot of my bed and props her head on her hand.

“Yes. Thank you…for…being a good friend.” I smile at her then play with my blanket.

“Rey! I love you. I wouldn’t have stuck around if I didn’t. You’re like my big sister.” She smiles.

“I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I can shift into Derek Hennesy.” I smirk.

Her face turns red and she covers it while rolling on her back, laughing. “Ok. Maybe it’s a perk.” She grins and I laugh.

“Who’s Derek Hennesy?”

We turn to the doorway and my air leaves me. Jax stands with his hands in his pockets as he eyes us both. His face is relaxed, but I can see the worry in his gorgeous eyes.

Sophie sits up. “Oh…um…” She turns more red. “Just a guy at school I liked once.” I smile at Sophie and she winks.

“You stayed in school?” He asks as he walks in slowly.

She nods. “Yeah. At least until grad then got out.”

He glances at me and I tick the corner of my lip up. Yes. I made sure Sophie had at least some education. We ran under assumed names, but I do believe I gave her a good life. Even if it was secluded.

“Is the war over?” Sophie asks.

Jax pulls up a chair and sits. “For the most part. We rounded up as many as we could. Phoenix is helping us with the dead and injured and Noah is trying to contain the PR nightmare, but all in all, we stopped them.”

“Good. You’re going to have to explain this to me because my head still hurts.” She smirks.

He chuckles. “I will. Let’s just get Audrey home first.” He turns his head to me. “You ready to come home with me?”

A smile grows on my lips and nod. “Yes.”

I glance at Sophie and she’s grinning ear to ear.

“Get packed.” He smiles.

****

Jax opens the door to the penthouse and walks in.

“MARKY!!”

Sophie runs past him to Marcus who’s standing in the living room.

“There's my little pitcher!!” He laughs.

She jumps on him and hugs his neck.

I walk in and drop my bag by the door. Jax walks to the kitchen and opens the fridge.

Sophie sits up in his arms. “I was worried about you. You don’t look too bad.”

“Ah…it’s gonna take more then some crazy wolves from another dimension to put me out.” He grins.

She grabs his cheeks and kisses him.

“Alright. Knock it off.” Jax growls as he hands out beers.

I chuckle. “I’m glad you’re OK, Marcus.”

He puts Sophie down and takes a beer. “I’m glad you’re OK. Nice take down of Vinnie. I think we all breathe easier now.”

“I was saving Jax. I would do it again.” I glance at him with a smile. He smiles back, but I can feel the tension between us.

Marcus crosses his arms. “So The Black Mace and a shape shifter.”

“Yep.” Jax says, popping the ‘p' before taking a drink.

“I know. I’m sorry. I had my reasons.” I say quietly.

“Hey, I can’t judge. I have a past too. It’s not as fabulous as yours, but it’s still baggage. I’m just glad you’re on our side.” He winks, chuckles and taps my arm.

“I am too.” I agree.

He wags a finger at Sophie. “And you. I hope you’re hanging up that white helmet.”

“Yes…she is.” I state.

“Rey, there’s a ton more bad guys. I’m a great sidekick.” Sophie argues.

“You were not meant to put the White Mace on, Sophie. It was supposed to only be once.” I cross my arms and arch a brow.

“But I proved I can kick ass. Come on, Rey.” She whines.

I shake my head. “No. You have a normal life now. It’s time you lived it. I don’t need a side kick.”

“But…” She throws a hand out at me.

“Eh, Soph.” Marcus starts as he turns to her. “Rey’s right. You need to get your life back and you can’t do that running the streets.”

“Marky.” She whines.

“Sophie, no.” Jax says in a deep voice.

She looks around at us all. “You guys suck.” She scowls and storms out.

Marcus looks at us. “I’ll talk to her.” Jax nods and he pushes past us. “Soph, wait!”

I stroll into the living room and sink into the couch.

“Speaking of lives…” Jax sighs as he sits beside me.

I roll the bottle in my palms. “I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“I know.” He looks straight ahead and takes a swig of his bottle. He rolls his head to me. “You get that this is a pretty big lie, right?”

I nod. “I’m aware, Jax. I’m telling you now because you deserved to know the truth.”

He looks down. “I deserved to know the truth 20 years ago, Rey. Who you are…I thought you trusted me. You should've known you could tell me.”

I put the bottle on the coffee table. “I couldn’t. I didn’t even want to be what I was. The only thing I wanted was to be a quiet 17 year old girl. I wanted to the leave my past behind me and never speak of it. If it wasn’t for Vinnie, I probably wouldn’t have told you.”

He nods. “So you would've lied to me the whole time if we stayed together.”

“If we’re being honest, yes.” I glance at him. “I guess eventually it would come out, but I’m so numb to fall out, I can’t say I’d be affected by it.”

“Wow.” He takes a swig. He turns his eyes to me. “What else are you keeping from me?”

I meet his eyes. “Nothing.”

“For some reason, I don’t believe that.” He arches a brow.

“There’s nothing, Jax. I’ve told you everything there is to know.” I look away and play with my hair a bit.

He replaces my eyes. “I know you well enough to know you’re lying. Tell me. You told me you wanted to lay everything out.”

My eyes heat as I look into his. “You won’t love me.” I choke.

“Let me decide that for myself.” He whispers.

I look away as I try to replace the right words to deliver that I know will make him see me as the disgusting creature I am.

“Rey…tell me…please.” He says softly.

A tear falls. “Remember I told you, Vinnie…had his way.” I lean on my knees and run my fingers through my hair.

“Yeah.”

I roll my tear filled eyes to his. “He was my fated.” I hitch.

His brows come together and he pulls back. “What…how…”

I tilt my head to him. “I was pregnant.”

Shock fills his face and he leans on his knees. His hands cover his lips as he stares into the room.

I swallow the lump and turn away. “It was the only way I knew. We never marked.”

He turns his head to me. “You never snapped?”

I shook my head. I take a quick sniff. “She looked just like him and I knew. I knew I couldn’t…”

“Couldn’t what, Rey?” He questions.

More tears falls. “I couldn’t keep her. I couldn’t be a mother to her. I was so full of…hate.” I look to the floor to hide my shame. “I…um…I took her to a hospital and left her there.” My heart breaks as I remember stealing into the night with her infant cries ringing in my ears. “I didn’t even give her a name.” I sob and cover my face.

Suddenly, I feel him grab me and bury me in his arms. I cry harder as I wrap my arms around him.

He holds my head. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.” He says in my neck.

“No. I’m sorry. I’m a horrible person.” My breath stutters as I hold him tighter.

He pushes me away and grabs my head. “You aren’t a horrible person. You cared enough to know you were too fucked up to give her a life. That takes fucking guts.” He stares into my eyes. “Don’t ever think you’re bad for that. In my book, you did right by her and don’t let anyone tell you different.”

I pull his hands off me and wipe my nose. “I understand. I tell myself that too, but a part of me thinks had I kept her, I might not be where I am now.”

“Beating yourself up isn’t the way to go, Rey. All you can do is pick up the pieces and move on. You can make your life better.” He leans to me. “I’m helping you.”

I turn to him and my lip trembles. “You will?”

He smiles a sweet smile. “I’m not going anywhere. Fated or not. You need me, Rey. I may be just a man, but you’re broken and I need to help you fix it. And, yes, I may be a chauvinist at times…”

I chuckle through my tears.

He raises my chin with his knuckle and my eyes meet his. “But I love you. All of you. Broken or not. Powerful Super bike babe or not.” He laughs and I laugh too. “I’m all in, Audrey. No matter what that moon says.”

My heart swells as his words soak in. I’ve done some egregious things in my life, it’s hard to believe he wants to accept it. I do think that when a scared 13 year old girl found me, I think it was a second chance to be the mother I was supposed to be. I cared for Sophie with all my heart even though the environment she was exposed to wasn’t ideal for her. It helped that she looks like Jax, too. I felt closer to him having her around. Not that I believed my daughter was evil for looking like her father, but my own mental scarring couldn’t get passed it. It was still the hardest decision I ever had to make. I guess that’s why it was so easy for me to pick up the Mace. Nothing will ever compare to giving up your child on the scale of horrible decisions. Nothing.

I wipe my cheeks and smile. “I’m all in, too.”

He grins and grabs my head. He moves my hair out of my face and stares into my eyes. “Now…is there anything else you need to tell me.”

I shake my head. “No. That’s everything.” I take a deep breath and let it out as I calm down.

His eyes study mine and a toothy grin forms on his lips. “I believe you.”

“I love you.” I whisper.

“I love you so much, Rey. So much it fucking hurts.” He engulfs my lips and his tongue caresses mine. The electric warmth of his lips fill me to my core. His arms embrace me and I feel so at home. My raging sea calms and I start to feel the pieces come together. This is what my life missed out on most. The love. I don’t know why Fate does what she does, but I have to believe it’s for a reason.

Whatever that reason is, I doubt I’ll ever know.