Julia Lelieveld and the battle with the underworld
~21~

In silence we drove to Rob’s house. Suddenly I realized that Rob’s car was still at school. Renzo. No, I couldn’t do this. And little by little I felt myself building a wall around me. I couldn’t give these feelings a chance. I couldn’t control myself. I was startled out of my thoughts as my door opened. I looked up and Sara looked at me concerned. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

Without showing any emotion I followed them into Rob’s big house. We went straight to the great room. Kate sat on the couch with a bandage on her head. She drank something warm. It was a strange scene. Everyone was still in their dress. Max sat next to Kate and, like her, drank from a large steaming cup. Leo and Sara sat on the couch with Max and Kate. I looked at them one by one. What was I doing here? I didn’t belong here. There were already four of them and I just don’t belong here. It wasn’t right. I just put them in danger. The door to my left opened and Rob stepped in with a large tray of four steaming cups. He put the tray down and sat down in one of the chairs. He looked at me and nodded to the chair on the other side of the couch and I obediently sat down. He looked at the entrance and looked at me confused. “Where’s Renzo?”

Without showing a single emotion, I shook my head. “Renzo won’t come.” He looked at me questioningly. “Julia?”

“He’s not coming, Rob,” I said forcefully.

“You’re still here,” he said affirmatively.

I nodded.

“What do you mean by that?” Leo asked Rob.

He sighed deeply and shook his head. “Sorry guys, but I didn’t tell you something and I shouldn’t have.”

“Rob, what’s going on?” Sara asked.

“Evil gave Julia an ultimatum early this week.”

They all looked at me startled.

“You mean you knew this attack was coming?” Max asked accusingly.

“No guys, we didn’t know that. It was my decision not to share this with you. We didn’t know this was going to happen.”

Leo looked at Rob. “What was the ultimatum?”

“That Julia would go to the underworld.”

I felt a tear roll down my cheek from the corner of my eye. Why hadn’t I? Then we wouldn’t have been attacked, Lucas’s father wouldn’t have died and Renzo would still have been here. I was so mad at myself. How could I have let this happen?

“How could you keep this up?” Sara said softly.

Even Sara gave me an angry look.

I’d rather go away. Run away from all the misery, but then? What should I do? My father was not there. Rob was my guardian. shit.

“Where have our attackers gone?” It was Kate. Her voice was weak but determined. “One minute they were in front of us and the next they were gone.”

I saw Rob look confused and he looked at us all for a moment. The others looked as confused as Rob and Kate. She brought that to me. Because I knew full well what had happened.

“Julia? What happened?” Rob asked.

“Julia!” Leo said just a little louder than he intended. I looked at him angrily.

“Do you want to know what happened? It’s all my fault. If I had gone right away, none of this would have happened.”

“What hadn’t happened?” Rob asked.

I shook my head.

“Evil killed Renzo and Lucas’ father. With a single movement of his hand his neck was broken.” When I said it, it played before my eyes again. And then Renzo. I heard a loud sob escape from my throat. “Then he took Renzo to the underworld. Renzo! It should have been me, not him.” Then everything got blurry. The tears kept coming, I lost myself. “Julia?” Max stood next to me. I shook my head. “No, I can’t do this.” And with those words I walked out of the room towards the stairs. Before I knew it I was standing in the bedroom I had slept in once before and closed the door behind me and sat on the bed crying until my tears were gone. After that all I could do was stare straight ahead. Every now and then I would hear them knock on my door and ask how I was doing. Or say that there was some food and drink at the door. But at that moment I couldn’t bring myself to face them. I was ashamed of my selfish behavior. Completely sedated, I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. Let the darkness, where I belong, to me.

I woke up and looked around me. I didn’t feel comfortable. Why was I startled awake? Suddenly it hit me. The numb feeling was gone and everything came back to life. All the bad feelings, my sore body.

I felt a lump rise in my throat. I couldn’t believe Renzo was gone. He was just taken, taken to the underworld. I can’t imagine what a hell it must be for him to be there. And the worst part is, it was all my fault. Evil took him so that I would come after him to free him. I can only enter the underworld by my own will. They can’t force me in, no, I have to make the decision myself. I had already offered to go. But no, I was late. Now Renzo had to pay for my decision.

But how on earth was I going to free him? I was sure they were only too willing to show me the way, but then I fell right into the trap. Then they had me and Renzo. No, that was not an option. I had to replace another way.

I tried to sort everything out in my head, but it didn’t work. My head was full of misery and questions. But the biggest question, once I got to the underworld, was how I could escape with Renzo.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek from the corner of my eye. I wiped it away with a trembling hand.

I heard someone walking towards the door of my room. Did this wake me up? Immediately I braced myself. I just didn’t know when it was safe anymore. After a hard bang on the door, it opened. I looked into Lucas’s confused eyes.

I was wary, would he blame me for his father’s death? I knew I did feel that way. If I hadn’t been there, his father wouldn’t have been killed now.

He looked intently at me, as if trying to read my mind. He shook his head and held up his hands as if surrendering.

“I’m not here to fight.”

I had never seen that look in his eyes before. He probably saw it in me that I was doubting myself, but perhaps also him.

“I’m serious Julia, I want the same as you.”

I felt the anger welling up inside me. Same as me?

“And what is that?” I was shocked by my own tone. There was hatred in it, but also intense sadness.

“Kill the one who killed my father and took Renzo.”

He looked at me with combativeness.

I could have known.

“Well, then we’re not on the same page. All I want is to get Renzo out of there alive.”

He didn’t say anything, just looked at me. He looked tormented, as if my words hurt him. For a moment he seemed hurt.

“When we get there we can go our own way.”

I looked at him confused. “Where do you want to go Lucas?”

“You want to free Renzo and I want to kill that bastard. Better to go there together than alone. That way we have a better chance of succeeding and surviving.”

I looked at him in disbelief. Surely he didn’t mean this? Me, traveling with him to the underworld?

I shook my head.

“How can I trust you?”

I saw sadness in his eyes, intense sadness.

His father was murdered before his eyes, if anyone can know what that feels like it’s me. Immediately I saw my mother in front of me. Without fighting it, the tears came. I just didn’t have the strength to hold up. I turned and looked out the window. Through my tears, the hazy stars cast a sad glow all over the room. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on thinking about something else. I couldn’t be weak now. At the moment I was not safe and I should not put myself in danger by my own emotions. I heard the wooden floor creak behind me and I immediately turned around. I saw that Lucas had walked a few steps towards me but had stopped the moment I turned around. He still had that intensely sad look.

“What are you doing?”

He seemed to think and straightened his back and walked back. When he looked back at me, his look had changed to emotionless. As if he had put on a mask to hide his real emotions.

“Think about it Julia. Together we are stronger. I’ll be in touch.” And with those words he turned and walked away.

I lowered myself onto the bed and buried my face in my hands. What should I do now?

I couldn’t ask Rob anything and the others would never let me go.

No, this just came down to me. At least?

I couldn’t go to the underworld with Lucas, could I? How did I know if he was telling the truth?

He has a point that we are stronger together. We can use each other. It won’t be an easy journey. A shiver ran down my spine at those thoughts.

I had only experienced possessed people, but according to Rob and Renzo there was much more than just possessed people. Much stronger and more dangerous. I didn’t even dare to think about it.

But I had to be strong. It had to! For Renzo.

I wasn’t going to wait for Lucas to contact me. I had to replace out if he really wanted to travel with me for the reason he said. I could use it well. He had a lot of knowledge and most importantly, he could feel them. He sensed if they had bad intentions.

I quickly jumped into the shower and put on clothes that I could fight in easily. I grabbed my backpack with the necessary things and walked out the door. I listened carefully as I walked to make sure I didn’t hear anyone walking nearby. And as I exerted myself I heard people above me.

I looked at my phone. It was 3 o’clock in the morning. I felt incredibly guilty and selfish for making this decision. But I couldn’t put them in needless danger. Not again. I thought about Kate, she had quite a head injury. I really wanted to see them, but I was afraid if I saw them I wouldn’t be able to lie to them. Because that’s what I had to do. I had to lie to get to Renzo. I focused on the fifth element, I walked over to everyone in the house and I heard each individual’s heartbeat. And each heartbeat sounded like a quiet regular rhythm, they were asleep.

I trusted my instinct and the fifth element. I wrote a short note apologizing for my selfish behavior and recklessness. That I would go after Renzo and that they shouldn’t follow me. I just hoped they would listen to me. A shiver ran through me, an uneasy feeling took over me. I knew this wasn’t right. That I made a decision that would haunt me for the rest of my life. I didn’t know what I was leaving here yet, but it wasn’t right.

Softly I grabbed my backpack and walked through the kitchen to the back door. Fortunately, this one was only on the hand lock. I turned the lock and opened the door as quietly as possible and I disappeared into the dark night. I didn’t have a bike so I decided to walk. At the start of the driveway, I paused to listen. Nothing, dead silence.

Okay, now what? How could I think I could do this? I didn’t even have my driver’s license, where was the underworld? How could I get there?

Probably all I had to do was ask and Evil would come and pick me up with pleasure. But that wasn’t smart. Then he was in control and I couldn’t let that happen. I lost the element of surprise.

As much as I hated it, I had to ask for help. Or at least accept a proposal that I thought I would never have to accept.

Lucas had changed lately, that’s for sure. And I thought after last night this was only amplified. I breathed in and out deeply and walked towards the park behind my house, he had to live there somewhere. I ran into him there the first day with his dog. But hey, where should I start?

I didn’t have to look far, when I rounded the bend I heard an engine start and it started driving next to me. I looked around and saw it was Lucas. Deftly he drove his motorcycle to the verge and stopped. Smoothly he got off his bike and took off his helmet. Immediately he ran his hand through his hair so that it stood on end. Probably automatic on his part. He looked at me intensely. I stared into his endlessly dark eyes. His emotions are visible. For a moment I was taken aback. I knew exactly how he felt. What it felt like when a parent was snatched from you with such violence. I felt a lump grow in my throat. Despite our past, this somehow brought us closer together. I took a hesitant step in his direction, I felt a tear slide down my cheek. After almost 10 months it still hurt so much. Lucas stood frozen with his arms limp along his long muscular body. He stood helplessly next to his motorcycle. The look in his eyes dispelled my hesitation and I walked up to him and hugged him. I grabbed him tight and laid my head on his chest where I heard his heart beating hard and fast. I closed my eyes and let my tears flow. Only then did I realize that I needed a pair of arms around me just as much as he needed. And as if he realized himself at that moment too, he put his strong arms around me tightly and laid his head on mine. I felt his hard back relax a little and heard his heartbeat slow down. We said nothing, this was enough for the moment. As weird as the situation was, right now we had each other. Being able to rely on each other to make the journey to the underworld. For a moment a shiver ran through my mind when I thought of the underworld, and immediately I thought of Renzo. How he was in the underworld now, how he was probably tortured. No, I didn’t want to think about this. I had to keep my head up, we were at the beginning of a completely new and dangerous journey that I would have to make with Lucas. Grateful that I wouldn’t endanger the other of the circle.

I felt Lucas wrap his arms around me even tighter and hold it like that for a moment, then take his head off my head. I followed his lead and looked at him. He removed his hand from my back and brought it to my face, holding my face for a moment and wiping my tears away with his thumb.

As if he suddenly realized what he was doing, how intimate this felt, he quickly took a step back. He looked a little embarrassed. It was a sweet, tender gesture, something he did out of instinct. He probably wasn’t used to that, showing his sensitive side. He had probably never seen or felt this side of himself before. For a moment he seemed taken aback. I stepped over to him and took his hand and squeezed it.

“Shall we go?” was all I said.

He looked straight at me, I saw his face calm down and he nodded. He took the extra helmet that was already hanging from his handlebars and handed it to me. Without another word, he put on his helmet and I followed suit. He sat down and held out his hand, I took it for support and sat right behind him. I gripped him tightly and we rode into the dark, still night. On our way to avenge Lucas’ vengeance and I to free Renzo from the hands of Evil.