Julia Lelieveld and the fifth element
~19~

Friday passed quickly. I couldn’t join gym class yet. When I put on my gym clothes, Tim noticed the bruises on my leg and wrist. I was allowed to use the stopwatch during the endurance run. The only plus about the bruises. I didn’t have to participate in the endurance run.

During the break, Eva was talking enthusiastically about the game on Saturday. She hoped she would be in the starting lineup. She asked if I would like to come over for dinner on Saturday after the game. I could promise right away, because Dad had already said last night that he was busy working the weekend and wouldn’t be around much.

Bas went to watch the match with his friends. He asked if I also wanted to come, after that we could all go to the Rondebal house to eat. Thinking that it would be good for me to have more contact outside school, I agreed as enthusiastically as possible. Hannah would be proud of me.

During dessert I wondered if I would see Lucas again. We only saw each other by chance, but when we saw each other it was good. I would love it if we really went out sometime. Get to know each other better.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Eva couldn’t stop talking about her first real match. Bas was talking to a friend about Saturday evening that they were planning to go out. Bas’s friend was called Eddie, he always sat at the dinner table with us. He was a nice boy. He had the same sense of humor as Bas. It was a little on the edge, but I loved it. Eddie was a slim boy, he had hip-framed glasses. It really was his trademark. I think his father or mother had foreign blood, Asian maybe. Because he had a characteristic appearance, I don’t know, but had the idea that there was something foreign in it. At least he looked nice. He had dark brown hair with a bit of curl. He had roughly combed it back with gel. At the end of the day, his hair came out a little and hung next to his face. He could almost put it behind his ears. I always thought it was funny. He looked cheerful when he talked to Bas about tomorrow night. Well that was going to be something, they would go wild.

I thought back to the last time I actually went out. It was before the accident. I went to a big nightclub in town with my friends. We had been drinking and dancing all night, which ended in a big kiss with an older handsome boy. Stupid really, but yes, under the influence of some alcohol and having fun all night, you were just in such a wonderful intoxication. The feeling of lust then just surfaced. Especially with all those beautiful people around you. Anyway, I’ve never regretted it.

Good thing I didn’t live here yet. I didn’t know what was in the water here, but a lot of beautiful people lived here. Or maybe I looked more at the people now, because I was new. Not everything was self-evident anymore.

In any case, I have been lucky to have so many lovely and beautiful people around me. And maybe it was my hormones too, I don’t know. I just let it go for a bit, see where it would take me. What was clear was that I got along better with the boys than the girls. Most girls saw me as some sort of threat as a newcomer, while the boys didn’t see it that way.

I could just deal with that and talk. Maybe that was the difference, that I spent more time with the boys.

I don’t know what I would be like now if I went out. I was always the happy girl who danced with everyone on the dance floor all night. I loved to dance, that’s why boys came up to me. Somehow they found my way of dancing attractive. And I liked dancing with different people. Everyone had their own dance style. I liked to mix our dance styles into a whole. Sometimes it turned out great and sometimes not so much. I wondered how I would behave now. Maybe the same. I just had to try to put everything out of my head and enjoy it. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done.

I was brought back to reality by the loud buzzer that rang through the dining room. The last few hours of Friday’s school were over in no time. Everyone was busy, looking forward to the weekend.

I made an appointment with Bas for tomorrow and said goodbye to the twins.

On the bike home I was a bit disappointed that I hadn’t seen Lucas again. I would have enjoyed talking to him. As with Daan, I felt at ease with him. Unfortunately, it would be a long time before I could talk to Daan again. Eva and Bas still hadn’t said anything about it. I couldn’t tell from them that their heads were elsewhere. Would they even know? Geez, what if they didn’t know? I’ll have to ask Hannah that before I say something completely wrong to Eva and Bas. I had sent another text message to Daan that morning to wish him luck. I don’t know if he had received it yet, because I hadn’t heard anything back.

I put the thoughts of Daan and Lucas out of my head for a while.

I just had to look at other guys too. It would be good for me to connect more with other people. So if I ran into another cute boy, I might just act like old Julia.

Once at home I made sure that the house was in order for the weekend and that the groceries were done, so I didn’t have much to do tomorrow. I was already doing some homework until I went to bed. I hadn’t spoken to Dad again.

The next morning Dad was home. He would just be home for a while and go back to work. Turns out I just missed him last night. Fortunately, he had made a long night for himself.

’Say Dad, I’m going to watch Eva’s game this afternoon and then eat at the Rondebal family. If it’s okay with you, of course,” I said quickly after.

He looked at me for a moment. “I’m glad you’re going to do something fun, I have to work anyway.”

He raised his shoulders. For the first time since we moved here, it seemed like he didn’t like going to work. I didn’t know whether to take that as a good or bad sign.

“Don’t you think it’s weird to see Hannah then?” Where did that suddenly come from?

“I don’t know, she’s quite nice. We will see.” Now I was the one who shrugged.

“Julia?” He looked a little uncomfortable.

“I’d like to be honest with you. It didn’t seem fair to me for you to go into therapy alone. I know I really need to work on myself too. So I made an appointment with Hannah for myself as well.” He looked away for a moment, he seemed ashamed of it. I was just proud of him. Of course Dad suffered under everything. He wasn’t the same as before the accident. Probably just like me.

I hugged him. “I’m proud of you daddy, it will do us both good.”

He gave me a big hug and said goodbye. Before he walked out the door he gave me money for the weekend.

I thought I would buy something for Eva and Bas’ parents as a thank you for dinner tonight. Geez, what was I supposed to buy? Maybe it would be helpful to buy some for next time so I could see what they liked first.

I went upstairs to change for this afternoon. I put on my dark blue skinny jeans with an ecru shirt with a deep v-neck. My curves were not what they had been because I had lost some weight, but luckily I still had some curves. Actually, I wanted to put on those few pounds again. The only thing I was still proud of were my breasts. It had been a long time since I had worn anything that showed off my feminine curves. I thought for a while whether it was possible. But why not? I was allowed to dress nicely again. At my old school everyone knew what had happened, but not here. Before I changed my mind I put it on quickly, over the shirt I wore a black blazer that I tied with a button under my breasts. Over my pants I wore my gray leather ankle boots. I looked at myself in the mirror, if I was honest I looked good. Maybe this was the right thing to do. It was supposed to be a new start four weeks ago, but I don’t think it was completely successful. Maybe it would work if I could be my old self again.

I put on mascara and a transparent lip gloss on my lips and my make-up was ready. I put some wax in my hair, so that it got a nice coarse stroke.

I grabbed the blue leather bag my mom gave me for my birthday last year. And I was done.

It was strange to see myself like this, I hadn’t worn these clothes after Mama’s death.

I heard my phone go off in my bag. Shit, it was always like this, I hardly ever got it on time. Just before he jumped to voicemail, I answered. In my haste, I hadn’t seen who was on the screen.

“With Julia.”

“Hey Julia, it’s Bas! Are you ready?”

“Hi Bas! Yes, I’m ready, why?”

“Well, we’ll be right by your house in a minute when we go to the game. You can get on the back, then you don’t have to go back on your bike alone tonight.”

“That’s very sweet of you, but how am I going to get home tonight?”

“I asked my mother to take you home tonight, and she agreed.”

I thought about it for a moment, it sounded very tempting. Then I wouldn’t have to cycle home alone in the dark and the cold tonight. On the other hand, it would be weird to be brought home by your therapist, correction, your psychiatrist. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, she was also the mother of Bas and Eva.

“Well, you know what, I’ll take that as a yes. And you don’t have a choice, because I’m already standing in front of your house.” And he hung up laughing. He put a smile on my face. I walked to the window overlooking the street. Sure enough, there he was, with three other boys. He looked at the front door, then saw me standing by the bedroom window. He waved and motioned for me to come. I quickly grabbed my coat and wrote a note to Dad that I had been given a ride and that Hannah would take me home tonight.

Bas stood there with his bicycle in his hands. Eddie was there too. I also knew the other two boys from school. They sometimes sat at the dinner table with us. One boy was called Victor if I remember correctly. He had blond hair and was as tall as Bas. He had a narrow face and a slender body. The other boy was Peet, he had light brown curls that were nicely tangled. He had a big smile on his happy face, I don’t think I’d ever seen him without a smile. They all said hello and I jumped on the back of Bas on his bike.

They explained that they had run a marathon on the video game console at Victor’s house and passed my house on the way to school.

On the way to school they talked about anything and everything. What a sense of humor those guys had. I had a great time with those guys. Never any whining. Once at school we looked for a place in the stands. Like last time it was very busy. Eva’s team played well again. No, I should have said that differently. Eva played well. I saw that the coach was very satisfied with their game. When Eva’s team reached the third set, there was thunderous applause from our side of the stands.

After congratulating everyone, we went to Bas’ house. Eva would come from volleyball with some girls when they were done showering.

I had to say that I got quite a sore ass on the back of the bike with Bas. Bas was only too happy that I sat on the back with him. The boys again joked and rambled. I liked it.

We arrived at the Rondebal house with a lot of laughter. We stepped into the kitchen, which already smelled delicious, and it made my stomach start to rumble automatically.

Bas looked at me and smiled. “Don’t you get anything to eat at home?” And he raised his eyebrows.

“No, that’s why I’m coming to eat with you, of course.” And I rolled my eyes. Bas answered me with a smile and put his hand lovingly on my shoulder. I looked at him for a moment and smiled back.

“So Mom, what kind of dinner did you make?” And he went to the adjoining dining room. I stood still for a moment. I think it would be weird to see Hannah here. I didn’t know if she had told Eva and Bas that I was in therapy with her. Not me in any case. On the other hand, of course she had her professional secrecy, so she shouldn’t even tell. But how would we react if we saw each other? Would she say hello and act like we already knew each other or not?

The other boys had already walked into the dining room as if they were at home.

I followed them hesitantly and saw that Hannah was setting the table. I had actually expected that there would be a cook or a maid, stupid really. I really watch too many movies.

“You’ll see Bas, please wait.”

Bas sighed deeply and looked back at me. “Oh Mom, of course you haven’t met Julia yet. Mama this is Julia, Julia this is my mother Hannah.” He gestured between us and I saw Hannah smile lovingly at me. I automatically smiled back at her. That smile reminded me a bit of my mother. My mother always smiled so lovingly at me.

“Hello Julia, nice to see you.” And she nodded at me because she had her hands full with the piles of plates that rest inside.

Grateful that she remained honest and acted as if we had never seen each other before, I also said hello to her. “Nice to see you too.”

“Bas, where is your sister?”

“Oh, she is coming soon. She still had to take a shower, Mia and Roos are coming too. They won.”

I saw Hannah’s face look proud and she continued to set the table.

Moments later, Eva and her teammates entered. Mia and Roos were friends of Eva. Now that Eva was also on the team, the friendship had become a lot closer. The volleyball club was a very close-knit group, as an outsider you could hardly intervene. Which made me hang out with the boys more. Which I didn’t mind. I thought it was really great that Eva had good friends. I’ve only just lived here. I was very lucky to be here with everyone. I really didn’t expect to be a part of it right away. Though it did feel that way. I noticed that I spent more time with Bas than with Eva. But of course that was because she was busy with her sport and her friends. I don’t know what they all do with training, but she was always working late, so she hardly had time to maintain any other contacts. So we had a nice chat during breaks and when allowed during class.

The food was delicious. Hannah had made a big pot of real Italian spaghetti, which I think you could feed an entire orphanage with. Eva and Bas’ father was not home yet. He had taken over an extra shift from a colleague who was ill. Daan was on his way abroad, or maybe already arrived and Sophie was with a friend.

After spending some time on the couch in front of the big television screen, we made plans for that evening.

Eva went bowling with the girls from volleyball. An outing that the trainer had arranged, because they had played so well. The boys asked me to the hippest nightclub in the area. Well, close. It was about a 45-minute drive, but then you had something, according to the boys. I promised myself I would enjoy tonight. That my new start was about to begin, so I promised with genuine enthusiasm. The boys really enjoyed having female company and ordered a taxi.

I couldn’t believe they didn’t have any girlfriends yet until Eva told me that the guys would meet some girls in the club they’d seen a few times before. That explained everything. I had to laugh to myself about it. The boys were like little kids looking forward to a ride in the bumper cars.

After dinner Eva, Roos and Mia went to school by bike where they had agreed with the volleyball team. I noticed that Eva had changed and updated her makeup. Maybe they’d go out for a drink after bowling. The boys were all fine that way and didn’t have to change. Which was not necessary, because all four looked nice. Eva had complimented me when we were clearing the table together. She said I looked nice. That did me good. It had been a long time since I’d heard that. The relationship between Hannah and me wasn’t weird at all. Hannah was a real mother at home, not a psychiatrist. So she treated me like one of her son and daughter’s friends, for which I was very grateful.

It might have been good for her to see me like this in private circumstances.

The boys actually wanted to play another game on the video game console, which I couldn’t understand because they’d been running a gaming marathon all day. They were totally into it. It was very laughable to watch them interact with each other while playing. They were real opponents. But as soon as they didn’t play against each other, they were best friends again. It reminded me of football players, on the field they scolded each other and after the game they were drinking a beer together. Typically men. It would be nice to be together like that. When you see girls together, there are always those complicated things involved, quite tiring.

After the boys had finished playing we said goodbye to Hannah and walked outside where the taxi was waiting. Victor said goodbye to us there, because he had an aunt and uncle’s anniversary party. Reluctantly, he got on his bike and quickly went home, because his parents had already called twice angrily that he was late. He clearly had no interest in it.

Eddie sat in the front and I sat in the back seat between Peet and Bas. Once we left the house I was very curious about the girlfriends of the men. So I decided to take the plunge and ask them.

“Say guys, I was wondering why you nice boys don’t have girlfriends, but I understood from Eva that you’re meeting your girlfriends there?”