King of the Seditious
Confessions

He could feel her frustration, knowing he was considering leaving.

“What?” She sat up behind him to demand. “Rushing off to your other lover so soon?”

He gritted his teeth. His eyes flicking over his shoulder to give her an icy blue look. “I am faithful to you.”

How quickly she’d returned to the former subject.

“You’re a killer.” She argued.

We both know that.

She said it like an accusation. As if that unconscionable behavior was evidence that he wasn’t loyal to her.

I suppose in her mind that makes some semblance of sense.

“A cold blooded one.” He agreed tonelessly.

“You’re ruthless and brutal.”

When necessary.

“Without blinking.”

“You never listen.”

Not when I have good reason not to.

“No, I don’t.”

“You do whatever you want.”

I wish I had such freedom.

He tossed her another look. Profile outlined starkly in the darkness. “I do nothing I want. I do what I must.” It was the one point he would argue aloud.

“Which is?”

Nothing I can tell you.

“Too complicated to explain.”

“Because I’m stupid?” She asked harshly.

His look turned chiding on her. Never stupid.

“Far from. Because I can’t articulate my thoughts. Which is exactly why you’ve begun harboring this hatred toward me.”

“I don’t hate you.” She said softly. “It’s your refusal to tell me your thoughts, feelings and to trust in me to disclose your plans, that makes me angry with you.”

“Anger, hatred.” He gestured dismissively. “Very little difference.”

Different levels of the same emotion.

“Much difference.” She argued. “Anger is momentary. Hatred is forever.”

“Not true.” He gave her the burn of his stare again. “My anger has seethed forever. And will likely go on for an eternity.”

Anger is what I do best.

“Would you ever let it go?”

“To be with you?”

“Yes…”

“In a heartbeat. But it wouldn’t be what you want. Not what you think. I’m an animal. I thrive on consuming other animals. I fight, I hunt, I kill. And I feel nothing while I’m doing it.”

“Do you feel something when you’re inside me?” She said softly.

Ouch.

He froze. This wasn’t a question I was prepared for.

“I feel everything when I’m inside you.”

“How do you mean?”

“How don’t I mean?” He countered. Sighing. “We’re resolving nothing. It ultimately comes down to your desire to hear me tell you my every thought, whim and plan. I can’t. I won’t. It’s not safe for you or anyone else if I do. There are many men that’d hurt you to know what I do. I can’t allow that.”

“Of course you can’t!”

I wasn’t finished.

“But I do want you!” Passion entered his voice as he pressed on vehemently. “I want you next to me, near me. Warm and welcoming when I’m here. I want to make meals with you. Dance with you behind doors and treat you as my queen. You either can accept what I offer, or you cannot.”

Make a choice.

Dimurah swallowed. Voice emerging in small pants, and he knew she was close to crying.

Don’t cry. He realized how harsh he’d sounded. I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. But he didn’t know how to convey it. So, he sat still. His hands tight along the top of his thighs to keep from touching her.

“I can’t!” She sobbed. Putting a hand over her mouth and ducking her head in hopes he wouldn’t catch that she cried.

I could never miss it.

“If you can’t then you can’t, Murah. I can’t make you. And I can’t change the way things are. But you hiring an army to keep me away from you won’t ease your pain.”

And it won’t work.

You’ll have to say the words.

She sobbed again. Her whole body jerking quietly. Her hands slid from her face to flop onto the coverlet.

“If you want me to leave you alone, I can’t promise I can. But I will do my best. But I miss talking with you. Miss your face.” He reached out a slim fingered hand and trailed his palm and fingertips over her features.

“What are you doing?” Her voice cracked.

“Trying to memorize them. In-case you ask me to stay away from you.” He rose from the bed. Making the rushes creak as they plumped again. He went to her bedroom door. Turning back as his hand landed on the handle. “I can’t stay out of Winter’s Haven though, Murah. No matter what you ask.”

“Why not?”

“Because if I do…They’ll hurt you.”

“Who?”

“My assassins.” He returned to stand over her. “They respect you because I demand they do. And I reward any disrespect to you with brutality. That’s what keeps them behaving in your alehouse. I can’t give you more than that.”

That’s why I took Joe’s hand.

“Don’t go.” She pleaded. Patting the rushes next to her. “Come warm me once more.”

He rounded on her. Boots whispering across the floor. “No, Murah. I won’t.”

“Why?” She was shocked.

“Because I know you. And you’ll use it as a reason to put on more armor against me. And though I can defer to your wishes. I won’t aid you in having the strength to stand by them. Your weakened defenses and affection to me are my hope. I won’t assist you in destroying them.”

“I hate that you’re so clever.”

“Most people do.” He sighed. Standing at the edge of her bed.

She reached out and grasped his hand. Pulling him onto her bed.

Surrendering he sat next to her again. Twisting to lean over her. His shoulders encompassing her smaller frame. He used his fingertips to trail her hairline and down her eyelids. Over the length of her nose and the swell of her lips to the curve of her chin. Then following the path again. Until he heard her fall into slumber. As she always does.

He rose and walked from her chamber. Closing the door lightly behind him.

Much to the shock and horror of Markus and Thomas. Who’d been sitting outside it. Playing cards by the light of several candles. Both of them leapt to their feet upon spotting him.

Markus openly stared jaw agape as Savage walked between them.

The cup of water slid from Thomas’ hand.

Savage caught it near his hip without sloshing a drop. Lifting it to plop it back in the boy’s hands. “She’s fine. She’s resting. Don’t bother her or I’ll kill you in your sleep.”

He walked out into the dumping rain and closed the front door behind him.

With them still staring at his back.