Knowing Jude
Chapter 26

I should apologise.

I've been telling that to myself since I left the supermarket, all through preparing dinner, through dinner, and now that I'm in my room about to sleep, it's the same song.

He was right, I was being too nosy. If he had been rude, then I had been rudely nosy. Who was I anyway, to say the two hadn't deserved his rudeness? It might have seemed odd to me for someone to behave that way towards a parent, but then again Mr. Walker hadn't been exactly warm towards his son. Maybe that's how they dealt with each other, no love lost, and there I was, being the nosy know-it-all.

Me, 11.32 pm: Hey.

That's how long it takes me to gather the courage to type out that single word. Two long hours. Knowing Jude, he is still awake.

And still mad?

My phone buzzes a minute later, and I check the text, heart in mouth.

Jude, 11.34 pm: Hey. Jo? It's Cole.

Oh. I feel myself deflate. Why is Cole texting back on Jude's phone? Does Jude not want to talk to me?

No need to be dramatic... I chastise myself.

I type back.

Me, 11.36 pm: Is Jude there? Can I talk to him?

Jude, 11.38 pm: He's busy right now, maybe tomorrow.

Busy? Now? With what?

See? Too many questions that don't concern you.

Me, 11.39 pm: Okay, night.

Jude, 11.40 pm: Night too.

I place my phone beside me and shove my face into my pillow, feeling a little depressed.

Cole didn't even attempt to sound chatty. Is he mad at me too? Maybe Jude told him how much of a nosy bitch I am? I can't keep losing friends.

I hold another debate in my head and replace myself grabbing my phone a while later.

Me, 12.02 am: Are you mad at me?

Cole, 12.03 am: What? No. Why?

Me, 12.04 am: Oh, okay. Is Jude still mad at me?

Cole, 12.04 am: Oh, you? I had no idea it was you he was mad at. What happened?

I was so sure he knew...

Me, 12.05 am: Just me being annoyingly nosy :(

Cole, 12.06 am: You got that from Nicki, or she from you? :)

Now there's the Cole I know.

Me, 12.06 am: Can't remember ^.^

Cole, 12.07 am: Haha, okay. Anyway, whatever it is, I'm sure Jude will be over it by tomorrow.

Me, 12.08 am: I wanted to say sorry.

Cole, 12.09 am: I'll let him know.

Me, 12.09 am: Thanks.

Putting my phone aside this time, I feel a little better.

Now I'm stuck wondering what Jude could be busy with in the middle of the night.

Guess I should stop that line of thought right there.

Jude: Still looking for a job?

I stare at my phone and reread the text, confused. Why is Jude texting me about a job?

I still haven't talked to him after being utterly judgmental yesterday, so this text is sort of coming out of nowhere.

Jude: Cat got your tongue?

I arch an eyebrow and look towards his place at his normal lunch table. He's right there, phone placed in front of him, conversing with a girl seated next to him. He reaches for his phone absently, gives it a look and turns back to her. I type back.

Me: No.

I look back at him, he's still talking to her. I type again.

Me: Sorry about yesterday. About what I said.

I let out my breath in a whoosh as if I've been holding it until I got the apology out of my system. He replies immediately.

Jude: Cool.

Sure? Ma Bea needs a waitress.

Ma Bea? I was so curious about the woman, but I never got to ask him about her.

Me: I now have my evenings covered, that's all I wanted.

I bite my lip as I send that off and await his reply. I hadn't liked having my evenings to myself, because I always ended up thinking depressing thoughts connected to Angie. I just wanted something to occupy my time, something that would keep me from spending too much time in my mind. I spend all of that time with Jude now, so I don't really have any more free time.

Jude: Okay.

My fingers hover above my cracked screen, but what else can I say? That 'okay' is definitely his way of ending the conversation. And all he said to my apology was 'cool'. Someone clears their throat beside my ear, and I turn to replace myself face to face with Simon. I scowl, knowing he has been there all along, peeking into my conversation. He lifts a dark eyebrow. "Jude?" His voice is speculative.

I shove him away from me. He settles in the seat next to mine, and only then do I notice Isaac sitting on his other side. He waves and I wave back, smiling.

I don't feel as good as I had thought I would after apologising.

Simon nudges me in the side. His eyes are trained on my face. "What's up?"

I shake my head and pick a sauce-drenched fry from my plate. "Nothing," I say and bite on it.

"Why is everybody so grumpy today?" he complains, turning to the food in front of him. "Meaning?" I ask.

As you reach the final pages, remember that 000005s.com is your destination for the complete story. Share the joy of reading with others and spread the word. The next chapter is just a visit away! "Have you seen Nicki today?" he asks.

I frown, realising I haven't. She isn't at the table either. "No, where's she?"

He scoffs. "Most probably brooding in the Art room."

"What's wrong?" I ask. Nicki isn't the brooding type.

Simon gives a long sigh, then shakes his head. "I don't know."

I have a feeling he isn't being completely honest with me. I nudge him. "Come on, tell me."

"I don't know, honestly. Ask her."

"Fine," I mutter, stuffing my mouth with food and looking at the time on my phone.

I could try and be a good friend for once.

Simon is right, Nicki is cooped up in the Art room. Doing nothing, just staring out the window. It's actually scary. Nicki doesn't do that. The Nicki I know doesn't just stay still in one place and do nothing. And she never skips lunch.

I approach quietly, taking in the room around me. It's neat. The Art teacher insists on orderliness, I have no idea how she gets along with someone like Nicki. Maybe because Nicki might be annoying and restless but then she's an annoying restless ball of sunshine and happiness.

Which is not the case right now.

I creep behind her because apparently, she hasn't noticed my presence. I stop right behind her, then stretch my hands and tickle her on her sides.

She jumps and turns away, her eyes wide as if she just got the scare of her life. "Fuck you," she curses, glaring.

I stick my tongue out at her. She's extremely ticklish.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, standing a couple paces away from me, as if afraid I'm going to attack again. Which I might if she doesn't lighten up soon.

"What are you doing here?" I throw the question back. "Why didn't you come to lunch?”

She shrugs. "Not hungry."

"Did you hear yourself?" I ask, frowning.

"What?" she asks.

"You're always hungry. So try another reason."

"Mum packed me lunch, I ate it here."

"That's another lie. The truth now, please."

She scrunches her face up. "I just wanted to be somewhere quiet for once. I need to think about my project," she says, turning to look out the window.

I almost buy that reason, but then why would she lie in the first place? "What's wrong?" I push.

I'm not sure anymore, what sort of friend I am. Am I pushing too hard? Am I not taking enough notice of what's happening around me? Should I already know what's going on? I always did, with Angie. But then Angie was my best friend, and I was her best friend.

While Nicki stands there silently giving all her attention to her nails, I try to replay the events of the last few days in my mind. And all I can see is a jovial, hyper Nicki.

Where do I get sweets? Sweets make her hyper. I should probably carry them with me for times like this. Or steal them off Jude.

If I ever get back the easy friendship with him.

As you reach the final pages, remember that 000005s.com is your destination for the complete story. Share the joy of reading with others and spread the word. The next chapter is just a visit away!

"Do you like someone?" I ask suddenly, looking up at her.

Her head jerks back, and she gives me a wide-eyed look. And an awkward laugh. "What? No!"

The awkward laugh is the giveaway. Nicki doesn't do awkward laughs.

Loud, boisterous, donkey-like, yes. No room for awkward.

I sigh in relief. Problem detected. "Who?"

She rolls her eyes. "I said no, Jo."

"Oh God, look at you, you're blushing!" I point out, stepping towards her.

She hides her face and moves away. "I'm not!"

"Do I guess?"

"No!" The word bursts out of her lips. "Don't. If you guess right I'll have to talk about it, and I don't want to do that."

My eyebrows rise so high. "So you do like someone."

"Yes," she accepts. "Shut up now, okay? It's so embarrassing."

"Embarrassing?"

Nicki stomps her feet on the floor. "Yes! I know I shouldn't like him."

I shake my head and cross over to her quickly. "You're spoiling this party, Nicki. You like someone."

I can't remember Nicki ever liking anyone, not for the years I've been close to her.

"No. I mean... It's just a crush. I hope. It's..." she trails off, her voice quivering.

Her voice quivering is a big red light whenever her mood is about to go completely south. I reach forward and hold her hand lightly.

"It's okay, there's nothing to worry about," I tell her softly, but the tears are already flowing.

"No, it's not," she claims. She hiccups, holding back a sob. "I can't...I...."

She stops trying and gives in to her tears. I hold her in my arms, knowing there isn't much I can do now. Maybe if I knew who this guy is. There's a name in my mind, but this is not the right time to bring it up. My hand moves over her short hair, feeling as if I can physically tear apart whatever and whoever hurts her. She clutches onto me, like a little child. I hate seeing her like this, and my heart aches for her. But there's some part of me that takes satisfaction in this, the fact that I have someone who can lean on me. I think it's a need to be needed, or something twisted like that. I'm not sure I like it. At the same time, it seems to fill a certain void inside me.

My thoughts are so messed up, I don't think I'm making sense to myself anymore.

Nicki finally calms down and pulls away. She wipes her tears away, a small smile appearing on her lips. "I'm sorry. I feel like a little kid. The feelings are too much too fast, I can't deal."

I smile back and pat her on the small of her back. "Letting out is good," I tell her. "Maybe now you can deal with it."

She shakes her head and laughs, a real one this time. "I can't. I never saw it coming."

"You never," I mutter.

She pushes at me playfully. "Oh please, it's been so long with you liking nobody else other than Jon, don't act like you are an expert in this."

"I learn from others' experiences, dear. If I relied on my own I'd be one dense mess right here," I tell her, winking.

She rolls her eyes and hooks our arms together. "I'm hungry. I need to eat."

Uh oh. I'm not sure how much of lunch hour is left, but I know a determined Nicki when I see one.