Knowing Jude
Chapter 42

Monday morning, walking through the school front doors is like walking into hell.

News has a way of getting around, and my incident on Saturday night sure did. A couple of extra ears beyond the door in the hallway when Jude and Nicki came along took care of that.

As if things aren't bad enough, I see Cole walking purposely towards me. It's the first time I'm seeing him after he acted all cool and unaffected after our friends walked in on us on Saturday night and I really don't know what to say to him. If anything, I don't want to be seen talking to him. The rumour mill in this school has the uncanny ability to spin and twist each little detail in every possible way. I clutch onto my bag and walk faster. Any contact with Cole would not be a good idea, especially not before I've gotten a chance to clear things up with Nicki.

I speed walk but then I hear running steps and a moment later a hand closes around my upper arm and I'm brought to a sudden halt. Cole appears in front of me.

"I need to talk to you."

I shake my head and try to pry his hand away. "Leave me alone!"

"No, we need to talk," he repeats, then he's pulling me with him.

I'm acutely aware of the gazes following us, accompanied by whispers.

"It was just a kiss, for heaven's sake," I hear Cole mutter.

Only it wasn't.

Everybody thinks I betrayed my friend. Which I did. Not that they care much about that, they're just glad to have fresh gossip to end the term on.

Then there's the little fact that kissing guys like Cole isn't something I've been up to during my four years here. Or any guys at all.

We pass by my locker. The light blue paint on it has been marred by big black block letters spelling 'hoe'. My chest gives a jolt and I falter in my steps but Cole pulls me right along. "That's lame and you know it," he says.

But I can't help but think of how I responded, quite willingly, to his kiss.

Things go downhill yet when we run into Jennifer. Or more like she sticks her heeled leg out and I trip, almost face planting into the floor but for Cole jerking me upright just in time. "Cut the shit, Jennifer," he snaps at her.

"Just a minute, Cole," she requests, her index finger rising. "I have a question for Jo over here. Quite the collection you've got, huh? Jude, Jax, and now Cole? What's the secret?"

I turn away and try to walk away. Nails dig into my arm. "You listen when I talk, bitch."

Some part of me doesn't want to believe what's happening right now. I never in a thousand years could have imagined my relationship with Jennifer getting to these extremes. She was the closest friend I had after Angie. However, after our little-okay, major-fall-out, I realised that maybe I hadn't held as much importance to her as she had to me. Or maybe she was right and I was too engaged with Angeline to see what was going on around me.

I jerk my arm away at the same time Cole makes the same effort to break me free. He doesn't lead us away immediately and I stand half hidden behind him as he faces up to her.

"Maybe we should talk about my collection instead, where you feature?"

Jen's eyes roll to the ceiling. "Oh please, does that sound like a secret to anyone?"

Cole tilts his head side to side. "Not really. But how about you should be the last one pointing a finger at Jo given you always wanted your best friend's boyfriend?" "Shut up, Cole."

My eyes widen slowly as I take in the new pissed off expression on Jen's face. I frown a little because... Which best friend, and which boyfriend are we talking about here? "Quite sad really, that even after she was gone you couldn't have him for yourself, yeah?"

I freeze.

"Fuck yourself, Cole," Jen spits.

"Oh, I think I'm fine. But you could use a good one, being hopelessly in love with someone who doesn't spare you a second glance doesn't look good on you."

I'm still speechless when Jen sneers and leaves, head tossed back as if in defiance of every little secret Cole just spilt.

Cole turns to me with a dashing smile. He claps his hands together as if getting rid of dust on them. He winks. "That was easy, yeah?"

I blink. "Were you talking about Jax?"

"Of course."

"She's in love with Jax?"

He leans down to my height, hands resting on his knees. In a mock whisper says, "Oh my God, Jo. Were you always so oblivious?"

I place a hand on his shoulder and push him back into the lockers. "Shut up."

He grins then takes my hand once more.

"So, did she like, make moves on him when Angie was still here?"

"Once or twice?"

"You're kidding me."

Cole finally opens a door and leads us into a dark storage room. He shuts the door and flips a switch, flooding the room in yellow light. "You wish. Jax won't touch her even when high like a kite. It drives her crazy." "High?"

"He's just in a bad place is all."

"He's doing drugs?"

He pegs me with a hard gaze. "People cope differently, Jo."

"That's not coping, it's running away. He told me he would..." I facepalm. "Oh fuck."

"He told you what?"

"That he would deal with it? That he would..." I trail off and watch him helplessly.

He backs into the door. "It really got him. Angie meant everything to him, and now she's gone."

I look around the room to replace a place to maybe sit down, but all that's lying around are dust-coated buckets, mops, and the table in the room is cluttered with ropes and various tools. I sigh. "And you'll just sit by and watch him get wasted?" He places a palm on his chest. "Do I look wasted?"

No, you look sinfully gorgeous, no wonder I kissed you when I shouldn't have.

"It's all about control," he says. He smiles guiltily. "Which I might have lost on Saturday night?"

Finally, the elephant in the room is getting the attention she deserves.

I shrug. "Makes two of us."

"You kissed me back."

"For three seconds."

I

He chooses this moment to sweep his tongue across his top lip, all the while keeping his eyes on mine.

hurry to talk before he can say something that might take us ten steps back. "Have you talked to Nicki?"

He shrugs. "No."

"Have you tried to talk to her?"

"No, have you?"

"No." Not after how things went down at home yesterday.

"You should, and tell her it was all me and you didn't plan to do it or stuff like that."

"Yeah, that sounds real effective, Cole. Tell her that her crush is interested in me instead."

"It's not your fault, so..." he trails off.

I fold my arms over my chest. I was waiting for something along the lines of; it's not like that at all, I was just wasted, I didn't mean to do it, it came out of nowhere. Not some sort of confession.

"She thinks I came after you, Cole. Will you at least clear that up with her?" I ask, desperate because after it became clear that my parents don't trust me, I'm hoping Nicki will believe I had absolutely no intention of getting Cole.

He paces away from the door and leans against the table so that we are now a few paces apart. "I don't owe her an explanation."

My eyes widen. "Of course you do!"

"Why? She's not my girlfriend."

"Are you kidding me?"

He runs his hand through his hair. "You're the one who has something to lose, Jo. Go do your explanation. I'm fine."

I take a step towards him. "I can't believe you. I'm on the verge of losing yet another friend because of you and you don't think it necessary for you to try and fix things."

"I don't think telling her I have feelings for you instead will fix things in any way."

"You're lying. I've seen you guys together, you like her."

He takes his bottom lip between his teeth and twists it, his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Why are you even trying to push her away? Any guy would be lucky to have a girl like that."

As you reach the final pages, remember that 000005s.com is your destination for the complete story. Share the joy of reading with others and spread the word. The next chapter is just a visit away! His gaze lifts to me. "And would she be lucky to be with a guy like me?"

"Are you kidding me?" I gape.

Here's a guy; hot, sweet, absolutely gorgeous-let's kindly ignore bad-in short, the perfect checklist for any girl out there still ignoring bad-asking me whether a girl would be lucky to have him. "I'm not good for her. You of all people should know that."

"Are you telling me if you guys got together, you would intentionally hurt her?"

"What? No, I... I mean... Most probably. I'm not like Jude, Jo. I don't strive to be good."

"Jude strives to be good?"

His eyebrows rise. "Can't you tell?"

"Well, he does seem to be awfully focused."

"Jude cares about some stuff to some extent. I don't."

There's a loud knock on the door, then it's slowly pushed open. Jude's blond head appears with his eyes shut tight. "You guys are decent, right?"

"Fuck you Jude."

"Fuck you bro."

Cole and I share a glance, then a laugh.

Jude walks into the room and shuts the door behind him.

I perk up, recalling my other greater problems caused by a sibling sent from somewhere far away from heaven. "I need to talk to you."

Jude sighs. "Don't worry, you don't need to explain snogging my best friend behind my back."

"I wouldn't bother, don't worry. I need to talk to you about something else."

"And I need to talk to you," he says, pointing at Cole. "Where were you yesterday?"

Cole simply shrugs.

"I have no problem with you liking her," Jude says. "Or whatever it is," he adds flippantly.

"He doesn't like me," I tell him.

"Oh, so you guys were going to do a one-night kind of thing on Saturday?"

"He was just trying to get away from some guys who were coming down the hallway," I explain, looking back at Cole.

Jude turns to him too. "What guys? I was coming down the hallway too when you guys got into that room. I didn't see any person of interest. It was just me and Nicki and we ran into Manuel and some other guys." "He said you didn't know about them?"

"Oh my God, shut up Jo!" Cole snaps, giving me a death glare.

Too bad for him, I'm used to those by now.

"What's she talking about?"

"Nothing," Cole evades. "I took her into that room because I... You were right, I mixed stuff that night."

Jude shakes his head, looking disappointed. "I told you E and alcohol is not cool at all."

Cole replies with a shrug.

Well, that's a comforting thought, kissing back a guy who on his part was only driven by some aphrodisiac pills.

"That's a comforting thought, Cole."

My voice comes out a little broken. It's as if it's finally sinking that every relationship I thought I had around me is crashing.

"Calm down," Jude says, holding out a hand to stop me from leaving. "He's bluffing. If all he wanted was some girl to take care of his horny ass, I'm sure he and Marvel would have gotten busy way before we got there." I'm assuming Marvel is the yellow-haired girl.

"I don't really care," I say and make a move towards the door.

"Tell me about those guys he was avoiding?" Jude requests, casting a sideways glance at Cole.

As you reach the final pages, remember that 000005s.com is your destination for the complete story. Share the joy of reading with others and spread the word. The next chapter is just a visit away! "It's none of your business," Cole retorts.

"I think it is. Is it Manuel? I didn't think you had a reason to be avoiding him."

"Who's Manuel?"

My question is ignored as Jude focuses on Cole. "I mean, we don't deal with him anymore, right?"

"You don't."

Jude's brow rises, and he takes a step toward Cole. "Are you telling me"

"I didn't want to involve you, okay? You actually want to do something with your life and I just... I really don't care."

"What the fuck are you talking about? What's going on with you and him?"

Cole straightens his posture. "What do you think?"

"Are you insane? Manuel is a no-go zone, that guy is pure trouble."

"I can handle

"

"Him? Fucking hell, are you out of your mind?" Jude's voice raises. "You're fucking kidding me. And you were avoiding him? So you've already messed up?"

Cole steps forward until their faces are only a few inches apart. "You know what, you're going to leave me alone on this."

He then walks past Jude, pulls the door open and disappears into the hallway, slamming the door behind him. I'm about to say something when Jude rears at an empty bucket, kicking and sending it rolling under the table, colourful phrases leaving his lips.

I'm guessing that whoever Manuel is, Jude doesn't like him much.

"Oh, so you guys fight too."

"Not about him being a stupid little shit."

I wasn't really expecting a reply, let alone the little speech that follows.

"I might do a lot of shit things, but I know my limits. He fucking showed me control. I owe him as much as my life, and now he's going down the very road he pulled me off? How the fuck does that make sense?"

"Who's Manuel?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Probably."

A moment of silence follows, in which he messes up his hair, kicks the wall, and curses under his breath.

He looks at me "You know, he has been looking for an excuse to do that for a long time, guess he finally found it."

I frown. "Who? Do what?"

"Cole. To get with you."

"He didn't get with me," I point out.

"Only because I interrupted."

"It was getting to an end even before you came into the room."

"But you kissed him back, right? That's why you looked so guilty when Nicki showed up."

I shrug. "I didn't mean to."

"It's what happens when you're attracted to someone." He shrugs. "You return their affections."

"I'm not attracted to Cole."

He leans against the wall. "Tell me another joke."

"I'm serious! He's hot and all but I don't get butterflies when I see him." I look down at the floor. "It was just... Nice." I shrug. "I felt less lonely. Pathetic, I know, but it was nice."

"So you liked it."

I look back up to replace his blue eyes burning into me with a naked intensity that makes my heartbeat double. He looks away instantly like he's been caught doing something forbidden.

"Wait, don't answer that. Gotta go."

I stop him before he can leave.

"No, wait, I need you to do something for me."