Lady Dhampir
Chapter 104

The young duchess was baffled, but at the same time, she blushed from hearing those words. Something in her heart warmed up like a little flame. She smiled a bit, imagining her baby self and a much younger Prince Rayan. She wished she had a way to remember, but she was just way too young back then. Rayan was the one with the fond memories, and he smiled gently, rubbing the back of her hands with his thumbs.

"You were... your parents' little moon. Your mother called you that, her little moon. She said you were as unpredictable and beautiful, and it was rather true." Milena chuckled.

"How was she? My mother?"

"You were glued to her all the time... And she absolutely loved you. You were the most precious gem in her eyes. She was always worried, too, as you fell sick very often. She was very protective of you, she'd never leave you alone or even with a maid. Even your nanny didn't come to the Royal Palace, your mom always said she was enough."

"... Was I really so sick? No one told me that."

Rayan nodded, still looking at her hands and her ring.

"Yes. I think it mostly had to do with the fact they were clueless about your needs as a baby Dhampir. You often had fevers or an upset stomach. You slept at random hours, too, and you cried a lot because you were tired. You even bit your brother a few times." Milena grimaced. She remembered the struggle the De Crescent had gone through when she came back to the Manor, years ago. It had been an issue back then, too. Although, since Milena was older, she could express her needs by herself. This was probably what had made things more difficult when she was a baby, unable to speak or do anything but cry to say she was uncomfortable. Strangely, Milena felt a bit sorry for her mother. It must have been a struggle for Elizia, to raise a baby dhampir when no one knew anything about her kind. Her poor mom had probably spent many restless nights to try and comply with her child's needs...

"It wasn't your fault, though," said Rayan, seeing her upset expression.

He took her chin between his fingers and raised it gently.

"Your mother never blamed you for all of that, Milena. You were just a baby with some extra needs. Elizia never, ever complained about it. All she had was love and worry for you. She was afraid you'd grow up to be weak or sick your whole life. Sometimes, you were so sick she was afraid you were not going t make it."

Milena nodded. Though her mother probably hadn't been the only one in history to care for a child with special needs, she couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for that. She took a deep breath, chasing those thoughts later. She could always ask Valentin or Sofia, her former nanny, about it later.

"So, we really were... close? As children?"

"As much as children our age could be," he chuckled. "You probably saved me many times without knowing it, though. Sometimes, I felt utterly depressed by my situation. There was the pressure of being a Prince, and my mother, unable to love me as she should... Yet, I think I made it through many times because you were there."

"But I was just... a baby..."

"When you weren't sick, you smiled and giggled a lot," he said. "Our baby Duchess de Crescent was the cutest."

Milena blushed a bit, though she couldn't look away as he kept talking.

"It was... like a breath of fresh air whenever you and your mom came. For a while, I was able to forget all about my troubles just by looking at you. You're so full of energy and bubbly, it made me even sadder whenever I heard you were sick. Whenever I felt down, I could always play a bit with you. You actually never went to sleep in the evening, so once I woke up, I'd go to see you first thing if your mother was in the Palace. I skipped so many classes just to go and watch you, even the maids kept the secret. They even started calling you my little fiancé at one point."

Milena found that little fore-shadowing cute. She tried to imagine herself, the little baby on her mother's lap, while the young Prince would come to see her. It must have been the good days for the House De Crescent, when the Lady was still alive and the children growing happily.

The Prince put a frown on.

"One day, you fell very sick... I couldn't see you for several days, as your mother kept you home. You had a very bad fever, and there was a lot of snowstorms at that time, people didn't travel all the way to the Royal Castle unless it was urgent. I couldn't see you or Lady Elizia for a few days... It made me even more depressed than usual. My mother was also upset because I was closer to her friend than her. She suddenly got interested in my studies, but it only made me work harder to please her. I don't think she knows... she knew I was overworking for my age. One night, I passed out. I had been writing like crazy in the dark, with only one candle on my desk. I don't know if I was too tired or I didn't feel it because of my skin... The candle had fallen on my documents." Milena's eyes grew wide as she realized the truth. She stared at his scar, worried about what he was about to say next. Her lip twitched, but she f****d herself to say it, as Rayan had taken a darker expression. "You mean... your scar..."

He nodded slowly.

"I woke up to the maids screaming. Strangely, I hadn't felt the burn. The flames had devoured half my face before I even knew what was going on. It takes a lot to burn a vampire, you know. Yet, I couldn't even feel the heat, I just... It actually felt like ice was applied on my face."

Milena was shocked. How exhausted must he have been, to not even feel he was burning? How long had the fire taken, for him to be scarred so deeply? The scar was taking a third of his face, and she could imagine where the flames had gone from. The area under his left eye was the darkest, and it extended in circles around that. She took a deep breath, and raised her hand, her fingers gently touching the borders of his scar.

She began at his chin, right below his lower lip. It had taken just the corner of his mouth, but somehow spared his lips. She kept going up, above his lip, where half his nose was burnt. She went up the bridge of his nose, to his eyebrow. There, it was more scarce, lighter too. As if the flames had just licked some parts of his forehead without getting too deep. A part of his eyebrow was gone, and Milena followed to his temple. There, the scar extended to his scalp. Maybe because his hair couldn't regrow properly, Rayan kept it cut very short on the sides. Her fingers went further, to the last lines past his ear. A bit of his ear was cut, too, but it hadn't kept him from getting it pierced. Then, the line was going down below his ear, to follow the jawline. Rayan was letting her do that without flinching. Somehow, Milena's hand was the most agreeable thing on his burnt skin. He resumed talking just when she still had her fingers on his jaw and kept stroking it lightly.

"Father was furious... They called the Royal Doctors, but as expected, whatever would heal was tied to my vampire skin. There was nothing to do about it. While we waited to see if I'd heal or not, my parents fought like never before."

Milena frowned. How selfish of them... Even more so if Rayan knew of their struggles, when he should at least have been spared of that. It explained why his scar didn't have a regular burnt line, but more like various stains, going from a light pink to a dark red on his face. In her eyes, there was something somewhat beautiful and mesmerizing about it. Instead of flames, it looked like several feathers put on top of one another.

The Prince raised his hand, taking hers and applying it even more firmly against his skin. Rayan took a deep breath like this, and closed his eyes, as if to feel it even more deeply.

"I only had one concern all this time... Whether you'd be scared of me or not. If you had cried when you had seen me like this, I think it could have broken me."

"...Do you mean I didn't?"

"No. You weren't scared at all. On the contrary, when you saw me, you just... squealed. You were happy to see me once you recognized me. I remember this moment so clearly. Your mother put you on my bed, and you climbed up to me, all excited. I remember, that was the first time in my life I cried and laughed at the same time."

"Rayan..."

Hearing that broke her heart. She had no idea how much she had meant to him until then. Milena felt like crying herself, and had to hold it back. She felt her throat tighten, but the Prince kept going with a smile on his lips.

"Everything changed for me after that. I realized my mother who had barely come to visit me wasn't worth all the efforts I was putting. If she wanted me to go with second place, I would. My scar came with that realization that there was no use in my trying to be perfect. Instead of becoming perfect for these people, I realized there were people who found me perfect already. Like you."

Milena smiled softly, trying to ignore that she was really about to cry. She took a deep breath, and wiped that tear on the corner of her eye.

"So your... scar isn't related to the incident with my mom?"

Rayan suddenly frowned.

"Yes, and no... After what had happened, my parents went back to fighting again, even more than before. Your mom tried to stop them and to preserve me from it. My mother suddenly got annoyed at her, saying she was taking my attention from her, trying to replace her as my mother." "It doesn't make any sense!"

"No, it doesn't. But my mother was starting to see her flaws as a mother and she had to blame in on someone else, I suppose. It was in her nature, she could never admit when she was wrong... For a while, she even banned Lady Elizia from coming to the Royal Castle, out of anger. Your mother had no choice but to complain, and I didn't get to see you two for a few days... but my Father and yours learned about it eventually. Moreover, I was depressed without you and your mother, and my Father scolded my mother even more for abusing her power."

Milena had no idea about all this until then. How would she have reacted to Queen Lyriana, if she had known? Would their relationship had gotten better? She had always found the Queen very cold towards her, even more so as she grew up.

"When Lady Elizia and you finally came back to see me, my mother walked on us. We were in one of the gardens that evening, playing in the snow since both our healths were good, for once. You loved to play in the snow, too...."

Milena nodded. That was still true today. She had no idea she loved snow since she was so young. She took her eyes to the window, where it was snowing slightly. Even if Rayan said there was snow, that day it probably wasn't as cold as now. It would have been too cold for them to play outside in the evening...

Rayan took a deep breath, suddenly looking upset. Here came the hardest part, and he held on to Milena's hands even tighter as he kept talking.

"My mother got furious when she saw the three of us, saying your mom was ridiculing her. Lady Elizia wasn't one to stand there and get insulted, though. I think she had enough after all of this, too, and the fact that we were here was probably even worse. She fought right back at my mother, calling her selfish and spiteful. There was the biggest fight I had ever heard between them. You started crying because of all the yelling, and Lady Elizia got even madder."

She could feel the anger in his tone. Milena knew Rayan kept his mother for responsible in this whole incident... In this fight between their mothers. How could their friendship had turned so wrong?

"Since you were crying, your mom took you to get you back inside, but my mother wasn't stopping. I remember asking her to stop, and she even got mad at me for taking Elizia's side. Finally, my father arrived. Some maids had told him about the fight, and he took my mother inside to scold her. We could still hear them yelling, but the first thing your mom did was to turn to me and apologize. She didn't want me to hear all that... I don't know what came over me back then. I asked her if I could hold you, because I was sorry to you too."

Milena smiled faintly, imagining a young Rayan holding her. He must have been too young, though.

"I... I remember your mother putting you on my lap, and then, I heard the gunshot." "What?"

Rayan nodded slowly, his eyes burning with anger at that moment.

"I didn't even realize what was going on. I saw your mother fall, very slowly, and I turned my head to the side. After that, I felt someone hit me very hard. I thought I had been shot too, somehow. Then, it's a complete black hole." "What? You're kidding!" Exclaimed Milena, furious. "That's it?"

"Trust me, I was even more furious than you when I woke up. They told me whoever had shot your mother had knocked me out for hours. I had a large bruise on my temple to attest that... And you were gone. You were missing. You have no idea how much despair I felt when I heard them say that."

The young Duchess suddenly stood up, furious. Milena couldn't even tell how mad she was. She was frustrated, annoyed, sad, so much she couldn't contain herself. There were no words to voice her inner turmoil right now.

"So that's it! You were the only witness and there's nothing else you know! Why couldn't you have told me all that earlier?" She said, exasperated. "I thought you might have a clue or something about what happened to my mom and me!"

"Milena, if I had any clue, there's nothing I wouldn't have given to your father to replace you!" He exclaimed, standing up too. "I was the one who was there, you have no idea how many times your father or mine interrogated me!"

That explained why the Duke couldn't seem to like Rayan. He was the last one to have seen the Duchess alive, and yet he hadn't been able to help at all with her search. Milena felt the frustration so bad right then, she wanted to scream. Rayan walked up to her, but she was so furious, he was smart not to touch her; She turned to him, tears in her eyes.

"Why didn't you told me all of this before!"

"....I was afraid of your reaction, Milena. I... You couldn't remember anything, but I did, and I wasn't sure how you'd see me after that. I was partially responsible for your mother's death. I just didn't want to... to bring that up too soon. Not when we were barely learning to trust each other again."

"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you are right now?" She said. "You were a child, Rayan, there's no way I would have held it against you! I am not that petty! You're the one who wrecked my trust by using my mother's death as a carrot to marry you!" Her sentence hit Rayan as if she had just slapped him. He stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, but then, he shook his head, angry.

"No, Milena, I would have never dared to do that. Not to you, or to Elizia's memory. It's true I didn't want to tell you my intentions, but that was not meant to force you to marry me. I wouldn't ever do such a thing to you. I just didn't know if I could trust you yet, or if you could trust me. I needed to rebuild that trust between us before I said anything."

"You're a f*****g liar," she said, crying. "You're really such a..."

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to make you cry, Milena, I swear. I..."

"I am not crying because of you!" She retorted, annoyed. "I am crying because I thought I'd finally get new clues about my mother's death, and this is all I get! I thought you'd have something, maybe..."

She let out a long frustrated sigh, and covered her eyes with her hands, ashamed to be crying like this. Next to her, the Prince sighed too. He was utterly sorry for her, but he did feel a bit relieved she wasn't holding it against him. Rayan came to wrap her in his arms and kissed her forehead gently. Milena didn't push him away, wish meant he was allowed to.

He sighed and grabbed her wrist to stop her from hiding her tears. She resisted, but eventually gave in.

"Milena, stop crying. I promise I'll help you replace clues about Elizia. We will replace the answers together. I promise."

"You'd better make it up to me," she said. "Promise you'll never lie to me again."

"I didn't..."

"Rayan De Solar, I swear my father is next door and it'll take two words to cancel that engagement."

He let out a long sigh.

"Alright, my lady... I promise."