Lady Dhampir
Chapter 211

Just like each time she recognized her husband's handwriting, Milena's heart missed a beat before beating a little faster. She almost felt guilty for the relief she was experiencing, but Eugenie wouldn't blame her for needing some comfort right now. In fact, her sister-in-law gently escorted her back to the couch before Milena's trembling fingers broke that familiar seal and quickly opened the envelope. Unlike usual, Rayan's letter was terribly short, and visibly written in a hurry. Milena had read each one of his letters at least a hundred times, to the point she could notice the smallest tremor in his hand, pick up on the faintest clue of how tired he was while he wrote those words.

My Queen,

I know these words of comfort will never arrive soon enough in your hands, and will never be able to replace how tightly I want to hug you right now, but I ought to try and send them anyway.

I cannot imagine the tragic times you and your family are living right now, but I hope you know, your husband is thinking of you and your endless bravery each minute, each second. I know my princess is a flower that blooms in the coldest winter, in the cruelest world. If it can alleviate your burden a little, I have kept Lucian by my side since, and made sure he was alright. Your brother is as resilient as the rest of his family, and I promise I will do my best to protect him. I know you might resent me for not protecting your family, and I am most sorry about that. I failed you, like I have failed so many of my men in this war. I am growing sick of those battles, of all the pain and death, and I only keep going with the end in mind, each and every day. I promise I will end this war the soonest I can, and come home to you. To our children, to our family.

Please stay strong.

All the love I have is for you.

Rayan.

As usual, Milena read the letter twice more before letting out a faint sigh.

He had obviously written this as soon and as quickly as he had been able to. She took a deep breath, trying to clear her mind. Unlike what he thought, she didn't resent him, not even a little. Milena knew her husband already had way too much to shoulder by himself. Not just her brothers, but hundreds of people were dying or surviving every day under his orders. As good of a commander as he was, Rayan couldn't possibly personally oversee the actions and decisions of each soldier. It was every man for himself, when the battle began. Everything was left to split-second decisions that could save one's life, or condemn it. Perhaps it would have been easier for Milena to hate the Giants instead, those creatures she knew little of, didn't understand and would probably never get to. But even them, she didn't care much about. She had learned long ago that hatred and resentment were poison to the heart, not remedy. And she certainly could never come to blame or hate her husband. If she began holding any resentment in her heart, even just a drop, it would accumulate with each mistake he made, and someday, poison her heart into something wretched, torn and ugly.

Instead, she was just grateful for those by her side right now, and those who thought of her from afar. She knew Rayan had probably rushed to his quill and ink as soon as he had learned, as soon as he had thought of her pain. Milena was also certain, in her heart, that from where he stood, Lucian was silently thinking of her, of their family. This was how strong their bond was. She didn't really need to hear from her younger brother, as long as he was alright, as long as he kept the fire within.

She silently closed the letter, her heart just a little bit less heavy, and turned to her sister-in-law who had been patiently waiting to the side. The atmosphere had completely changed from before, as if the business meeting had been replaced by their familial grief. "Thank you, Eugenie."

"There isn't much to thank me for," she shook her head. "I only relayed your husband's letter... and I'm grateful he wrote a note to me, as well. He promised he'd have Val's body sent back as soon as he could."

Milena was a bit shocked to hear Eugenie mention her brother's body almost so... casually, like this. It took her a second to calmly realize that she probably didn't sound too sad, either. Since this morning, she had been running around, directing business and military meetings and going from one place to another. She smiled bitterly. Indeed, life didn't give her any extra time to grieve. She had to squeeze her loss in the midst of so many things, try to replace some comfort where she could and cry behind closed doors. That's how she silently came to scorn herself for judging Eugenie's attitude. How dare she assess her sister-in-law's grief, when she herself was reluctant to show her grief? Milena was even known as the cold-hearted princess to many, she had made her stone-face her trademark. Not only that, but she couldn't even begin to imagine what her sister-in-law was going through, and what she wasn't showing. Eugenie very likely had her own way of processing her grief, and whatever it was, Milena silently swore she'd never make that mistake of judging someone by their expression ever again. Perhaps better than anyone else, she could understand a woman's need to silence her emotions, and put on a glass mask.

She gently put her hand on Eugenie's, noticing how, for once, it was colder than hers.

"...How have you been?" She asked as softly as she could.

Eugenie didn't seem surprised by her question, but she took a few seconds to answer, as if she was deeply evaluating her feelings at that moment.

"I'm... doing alright, I think," she muttered. "I think I am processing this all... very slowly. It's not like I had completely ignored this was a possibility, and your brother and I had talked about it, several times. For now, my priority is this family. My son first of all, and this family."

She took another deep breath, and her lower lip twitched a bit. Not only that, but Milena noticed how Eugenie f****d herself to swallow, several times, that knot she could probably feel. The Duchess was doing an admirable job of maintaining her dignity. "I know what his will was, and I want to respect it. For now, I just... I just want to do my best. I think that's what keeps me going. I do not want to have any regrets once this is all over, and I do not want to see myself fall, or make mistakes."

The two women stared at each other for a while, almost surprised with how matching their feelings were at that very moment. Milena even softly smiled at her sister-in-law. It wasn't a smile of happiness, but the smile of someone who had found a soul echoing theirs, someone who could genuinely understand their feelings.

"...You don't have to be so hard on yourself," muttered Raphael, leaning forward as he stood on the couch, on the other side of the table.

"I'm not being too hard," replied Eugenie. "I'm just keeping myself going the way I can, and the way I can is by doing the next right thing I know to do. If I stop everything and start wailing, I'll regret it. I'll regret that I couldn't be stronger and act a little bit tougher to do what could be done."

"I understand," said Milena.

The two young women held hands a bit more tightly, glad they had found someone who could sincerely, deeply understand their feelings.

On the other side, Raphael sighed and shook his head.

"The De Crescent women just don't know how to give up," he muttered for himself. "Oh, well, fine. I guess I can't afford to whine too much either, then. Millie, I'll get working on what we talked about. To be honest, with so many people on the battlefront, the Society is not as active, but fewer members means it's easier to spread the word."

"Thank you, Raphael," nodded Milena. "That's all I need for now. I also spoke up at the military council this morning, so I'm going to need all the help I can get for this..."

Briefly, she detailed the plan she had exposed this morning to her brother and sister-in-law. Both were visibly impressed and remained mute until she was done explaining her idea. Then, they exchanged a worried glance. Raphael sighed and leaned back, so Eugenie was the one to turn to her.

"I think it is a grand idea, Milena, but I'm a bit scared it will..."

"Widen the target on my back? I know. Don't worry, I have thought about it. Practically, the more people we get involved, the easier it will be. I need to give the impression that I am the owner of the project, but not irreplaceable, and not the only one managing this. This way it will be harder for anyone to take it from us or try to keep it from becoming real. The one issue that can happen is an opposite force growing, but even if it happens, they won't have the amount of supporters we can get from the vampire side, nor our new blood trade. In fact, now is the best time to launch it. We just need to..."

"Throw the hook and see how many nobles bite," finished Raphael. "I get it, but I agree with Eugenie, Milena, you're about to show a very large cake to a lot of hungry people..."

"Can you stop triggering my cravings?" Sighed Milena.

"You should eat something!" Said Eugenie. "Come on, I'll ask Digory to prepare something for you and we can discuss this more in detail over some tea. I could use some, I'm dehydrated as hell after all this..."

As the Duchess stood up, Raphael and Milena exchanged a glance, a bit surprised. Rarely had they seen Eugenie let her vocabulary slip like that! Still, the Princess smiled a bit, glad that her family was doing alright after all this. Perhaps things would be a bit harder once the body was retrieved, and everything would feel a bit more real. For now though, this was plenty enough. Milena was glad she had made the decision to move back there temporarily. In fact, Valentin's death was almost too good of an excuse to come back to the De Crescent Manor for a few days. It was almost as if he was helping her a bit from above...

"I'll go see Father first," muttered Milena, standing back up with Dinah's help. "I want to greet him first..."

"Are you sure? He has been a bit..." Grimaced her brother. "He might be sleeping, too."

"I just want to see for my own eyes how he's doing. I'll be quick."

No one said anything to hold her back, so Milena made her way out of the room, while Eugenie called for their butler. Having seen her sister-in-law, Milena felt a bit more at peace. At least, everything wouldn't have to rest on her shoulders. She could still entrust Eugenie with the Manor and their family, and Raphael would support both of them as much as he could, as always. She felt grateful their family was small, but close. The De Crescent family had been on the brink of extinction, down to one family line, until her mother had been blessed with four children. Milena smiled, caressing her tummy. At least, the next generation was safe for now...

While thinking about her children, she felt sorry for her nephew. Antonin would never meet his dad... The baby boy was much too young to even understand why his mom was sad, or to imagine the troubles their family would go through. Milena hoped he'd grow strong and resilient, too, so he could one day shoulder his own generation. Her children, and Rowe. Milena had never realized how important the next generation's future was until now, but it was making her even more eager to ensure all of theirs... The area around her father's chambers was definitely much gloomier than anywhere else in the Manor. There were fewer servants, and those who were here were among the oldest staff they had, too, those who had known the Duke for years. One of the male servants bowed deeply to her as she arrived in front of the bedroom's doors.

"Is my father awake?" She asked with a frown.

"We aren't sure, my Lady. The Master hasn't let us enter for quite a while."

"...When did Father eat last?"

"At dawn yesterday, he had fresh blood."

Milena nodded. At least her father had been fed before he had heard of the news... She took several deep breaths, almost a bit scared about what, and who, she was going to replace inside. In recent years, her father had slowly turned from this protective, strong paternal figure into more of a man, crippled by the tragedies that had hit them one after another. Yet right now, she needed her father, the Duke.

She slowly and carefully stepped inside, immediately shaken up by the darkness. It was cold, too, as one of the windows was left open. Milena sighed, and walked up to it, slowly closing it to prevent any more cold wind from coming in. Then, she turned around, and found him in the darkness. Her night vision couldn't be compared to a vampire's, but she didn't need that. Her father's familiar large figure could be seen in his usual seat, behind his desk. He had visibly fallen asleep right there, his body leaning on the side, his chin resting in the fold of his thick coat.

Milena walked up to him, trying to figure out his traits in the darkness. She knew her father still suffered every day from his burns. Rayan had once told her those were the worst kind of pain a vampire could experience. They were numb to many things, but heat. That was one of the only things they were slower to heal from than humans, and their skin didn't grow back either. Which explained the terrible scars on her husband's face, and her father's agony every day. As she approached the desk, she could see his medication waiting next to the long-extinguished candle.

Milena gently took his hand to not wake him up too rudely, caressing the back of his hand. She liked her father's hands. They were large, calloused, and cold as stone.

"...Millie?"

"Hi, Dad," she gently whispered.

She heard him sigh faintly, and he turned his hand to hold hers.

"... How are you?" She asked.

"I should be the one to ask you that..."

"You sound worse than I am, Dad. You fell asleep while working..."

He shook his head, still looking somewhat tired. Milena felt her heart break a little upon witnessing her father's melancholic gaze. The Duke De Crescent had lost a bit of that red glow in his eyes that would make his enemies tremble in fear when she was young. In here, in the darkness of their own home, he could let go of this facade and just be a man, heartbroken by the loss of his son.

"...I feel sorry for your mother," he suddenly muttered. "I am failing her..."

"Dad, you can't say that," muttered Milena. "Mom would be even madder to hear your nonsense..."

"I should have gone in Valentin's stead. I already almost lost you once, and it wasn't enough of a lesson. I sent two of my sons to their death, Milena, while I decided to stay back here like some coward."

"But we needed you here, we still do. Dad, you know Valentin had made his decision long ago, and we all agreed to it."

"I shouldn't have. Your brother was braver than me, and he did this to protect me, his father. I should be the one to protect you all."

"Stop saying things like that! We aren't children anymore, we aren't defenseless either. We... We are already parents to our own children, or almost! This is the prime of our generation, Dad, you can't always keep us behind locked doors and shield us from absolutely everything! There are four of us, too... And you know this was important to them. Both to Val and Lucian, to do their duty as knights, as our family's sons."

Milena took a deep breath, and leaned forward to hug her father. She rarely let herself go to such gestures, but right now, she felt they both needed it.

"...I am angry, too. I am sad, tired, and angry. But you can't give up now, Dad. We need you, we really need you. I need my dad to help me out, and Raphael needs you, too. Your grandchildren need you... You're right. Mom and Great-grandmother would be furious to see you like this. You can't keep doing that. If you feel guilty, then please, use that anger against our enemies, not yourself. We need you... please. I need you, Dad."