I swirl the straw around in my glass of Sprite, wishing I was anywhere but here.

What was I thinking?

I press my lips together to stop the sigh from escaping, and remind myself why I’m here.

I’m here because I told myself I wouldn’t give up replaceing a date for Elouise’s wedding.

I’m here because I want a boyfriend, someone to share my life with.

I’m here because I want to move forward.

But I’m miserable because the man across from me isn’t Axel.

Axel.

My date is still talking about fishing. Seriously, I thought the profile pic of him with a fish was just that thing guys do, not his entire personality. But apparently it is.

Tuning him out, I think about the man that I wish was sitting across from me. The burly, quiet, tattooed man, who has more in common with the Big Bad Wolf than any sort of fox. Silver or otherwise.

I lift a hand from my glass and rub at my chest.

I shouldn’t have worn Axel’s sweatshirt this week. I should’ve burned it. Or at least washed it. But when I finally made it home Monday – after my mortifying Tropical Contraceptive Adventure – I went straight to my room, grabbed the hoodie, and curled up on my bed with the soft Axel scented material pulled up over my head.

There’s no reasonable explanation for how soothing it was for me. But who am I to argue with the Universe and her witchy ways?

So I didn’t question it. I just started using his shirt as a blanket.

Then I started wearing it around the house.

And today I just wore it to work.

Sure, it’s big. Humongous even. But people buy oversized clothing all the time, and no one questioned me.

And if I wasn’t on this stupid-ass date, I’d be wearing it right now.

Except I am here, and I promised myself I would try.

But I couldn’t bring myself to wear something that revealed a lot of skin, so I chose this almost turtleneck tank. It’s ultra form-fitting so I figured that made up for the lack of neckline and tucked into my high-waisted navy pants I thought I looked pretty damn good.

Then I sat down across from Fish Guy and was reminded that this outfit shows all my bulges as soon as I sit. So now I’m slightly hunched over, scooted in as close to the table as I can get, hoping to cover my belly rolls, while pretending that I’m not bored to tears.

I take another sip of my Sprite.

If ever there was a situation that called for alcohol, this is it. But I need to keep my wits about me so I don’t do anything stupid tonight. Like ask Fishy for a ride home. Or reactivate my other dating app so I can message Brian and ask if Axel is busy tonight. Which is precisely why I canceled that account and signed up on a new site.

I thought coming to the same place was a good idea. Like it could act as some sort of control group for my dates. But being here just makes me think of Axel.

And the way those blue eyes would bore into me.

And the way he pressed his lips-

“Excuse me.”

A voice jolts me out of my daydream and I look up to see a familiar server standing next to our table with a tray.

One glance at my date tells me he’s no longer talking and is now busy on his phone.

Texting? Working? Who cares?

Turning my attention to the server, I realize she isn’t the one that’s been helping us tonight, but she’s the one who served me the last time I was here.

“Um, yes?” I ask, my voice uncertain.

Her smile is sly, and I feel my embarrassment rise knowing that she recognizes me too.

“The gentleman at the bar sent this over to you,” she states.

I’m about to ask what she’s talking about, but she’s already lowering a steaming white mug down to the table.

What-

I watch as she sets it on the surface directly in front of me.

Coffee?

My mouth goes dry.

Is…?

Could it be…?

The server walks away before I’m able to form an actual question.

“You ordered coffee?” my date asks, judgment clear in his tone.

I swallow and nod, not sure how else to answer.

Slowly, I raise my eyes from the mug. Only I don’t look at the man sitting across from me, I let my gaze travel past him and to the long bar situated not more than 20 feet away. Could Axel really be here? Is it possible he’s been this close, and I didn’t know? That I didn’t feel him?

My heart starts to beat wildly, my eyes skipping from one seated form to the next.

But it’s not him.

None of them are him.

Panic starts to crawl up my spine.

What if I missed him?

Or am I reading the message wrong?

Could he have sent this coffee as a fuck you for going out with another man.

I’m already pushing my chair back from the table – prepared to sprint to the parking lot in search of him – when motion at the edge of my vision halts me.

On the far side of the bar, moving towards the back hallway, is a man.

A large, lumbering man, with shoulders wide enough to hide behind and hair that’s showing just enough grey.

“Where are you going?” my date calls after me as I stand. But I don’t reply. I can’t.

My pulse is thundering in my eardrums as I quicken my pace, tracing Axel’s footsteps.

Ahead of me, he turns down the hall that I know leads to the bathrooms.

He has to know I’m following. He wants me to follow.

Right?

Self-doubt creeps into my mind and I slow as I reach the turn. But I don’t let myself stop. Not now. Not after a week of wishing I could see him just one more time.

My hands press against my stomach, holding the butterflies in, as I round the corner.

I expect to see him further down the hall, but he’s right here.

Right freaking here. Standing in front of me. Looking me straight in the eyes.

“Baby Doll.” His gravel filled voice is just as perfect as I remember.

“Axel.” I breathe out his name.

I want to say more, but I can’t think of anything that fits the magnitude of relief I feel at seeing him.

Axel takes a step towards me and I replace myself stopping.

“You shouldn’t be here. Not with him.” He takes another step.

“No?” I ask, barely audible.

Axel shakes his head. “You don’t need a boy like that.”

“What do I need?”

“You need a man.” Axel inhales through his nose, his huge chest expanding further with the action. “You need me.”

My retreat is subconscious – primal – but before I can take another step away, Axel grips my shoulders and steps into me, turning us until my back is pressed against the wall and his body is brushing against my front.

“I thought-” I start but cut myself off, my mind racing.

“You thought what, Maddie?” He slides a little closer, my breasts pressing into the bottom of his ribcage.

My lips roll together before I try to admit the truth, “I thought you didn’t-” I still can’t finish the statement.

Another inch closer, and my already hard nipples strain against my bra, wishing there was no fabric at all between us.

“You feel safe with me.” He says it like an accusation. “You fed me.” He leans in, our lips just an inch apart. “You made yourself come by rubbing that hot little slit all over my dick.”

My lungs forget how to pull in air as memories of that night flash through my brain. Me on my back. Axel above me. My hands trapped under his large palm. The way his hardness felt, right where I needed him most.

His breath ghosts across my lips as one of his hands slides up my arm until it’s cradling the back of my head. It’s a possessive move, but also protective, putting himself literally between me and the concrete wall at my back.

My pulse kicks up another notch and then I hear his ragged inhale before he says a sentence that wrecks me.

“You fucking hugged me.”

My eyes sting.

My throat feels tight.

Axel says it like me hugging him was monumental.

And my heart clenches, because it was monumental for me too.

His face turns until his lips are brushing my cheek. “And I want more. Of everything.”

He’s so imposing. Taking up all the space around me that I should feel trapped. Vulnerable. Something. But all I feel is his presence.

“Tell me,” Axel demands. “Tell me you feel this too.”

My hands finally break free of the spell holding them prisoner, and I reach up to hook my arms around the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

“I feel it, too.” Emboldened, I stretch up onto my tippy toes until my lips are against his ear. “And I want to do more than… rub myself… all over your dick.”

I falter on repeating his words back to him, not able to utter the word slit out loud. But I know I accomplished my desired effect when Axel’s body tenses against mine.

There’s just something about him that makes me feel bold. Maybe it’s like he said, and I just feel safe with him. And maybe that’s all I was missing before.

A light feeling sweeps through my body, and I feel more… hope, than I’ve ever felt before.

A low groan rolls out of Axel’s chest and into my own. “Fuck, Baby.” His hips press forward, and I feel his hardened length pressing into my belly. “I’ll give you more. I’ll give you whatever the fuck you want.” His cock digs harder into my softness. “I’ll give you whatever you can fucking take.”

A low keening sound leaves my lips, causing Axel to drop his forehead into the crook of my neck.

“Tell me you didn’t drive here.” The hand that was still on my shoulder drops to my waist. His fingers gripping me, digging into my side. “Fuck, I don’t care if you did. We can come get your car later.”

“Uh,” I can’t pay attention to his words with him so close like this. “What?”

He straightens until we’re able to look at each other. “Your car, Baby. It’s staying here.”

I shake my head.

“Yes,” He replies.

“But…” I start to say, and he cuts me off.

“Don’t ar-” he halts mid-word, his hands sliding up my body until he’s framing my face. “You can always argue with me. I won’t get mad. But right now, about this, I’m not changing my mind. I’m not letting you out of my sight.” His thumbs brush over my cheeks. “Not until I’ve gotten you home and buried myself in that sweet little pussy.”

He…

I’m hyperventilating.

Is this hyperventilating?

“You remembered,” I whisper.

The fact that he remembered I don’t like to argue floors me more than his dirty words do. When I thought about the next morning, I was so embarrassed that I’d said anything. But he was so nice about it even then…

I feel my eyes start to shimmer. “I can’t believe you remembered.”

“I remember every word you said.”

He says it so simply. So matter of fact. And that’s all the convincing I need.

I blink rapidly and swallow against the growing tightness in my throat. “Take me home.”

The fingers holding my face flex the smallest amount as he leans in, “I want to kiss you.” His deep voice admitting that is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. “But if I start,” his thumb moves until it’s brushing against the corner of my mouth, “I won’t stop. And I’m not gonna have our first time be in a bar bathroom.”

“Better drive fast then.” I turn my head on the last word and suck his thumb into my mouth.

Axel groans, leaning all his weight into me.

It’s hard to draw breath with his heavy body against mine. And I love it.

“Naughty Girl,” he growls, pushing his thumb deeper into my mouth.

My lips circle the digit, and my tongue boldly licks the tip.

Hands still holding my face, Axel turns my head further to the side.

Warm breath blows against my ear a moment before his words do. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about stretching your pretty cheeks while your lips wrap just like that around cock.”

Flames course through my body and I swear I can feel the dampness building between my thighs.

I groan around his thumb, sucking it harder.

Fuck, Maddie.” His voice is strangled as his hips grind into me. “You’re so fucking hot for it, aren’t you?” I can feel his cock twitch against my belly. “Are you wet for me, Baby Doll?”

Slowly, Axel starts to withdraw his thumb, pausing to hook it around the edge of my mouth.

My entire body is tingling.

Every. Single. Inch.

I’ve literally never been more turned on in my life and I’m fully clothed, in the back hall of a mediocre bar, with a man almost twice my age tugging on the side of my mouth like a caught fish.

“Maddie…?” the new voice trails off.

I didn’t realize my eyes had closed until they pop back open, to replace my actual date two feet away and staring at me in shock.

My face was already flushed with desire, but now I’m blushing for a whole different reason.

With Axel’s finger still tugging on the side of my mouth, I part my lips to speak. But Axel cuts me off by pushing his thumb back inside my mouth.

I watch Fish Guy’s eyes widen even more as he watches the movement. But Axel shifts his big body in front of mine, blocking the other man’s view.

“Sorry, but this one’s mine.” Axel keeps his eyes on the other man as his thumb finally pulls all the way out of my mouth, his hand dragging down my neck. The damp pad of his thumb leaving a trail of shivers in its wake.

“Umm…” my date leans to the side, trying to get a look at me. “Maddie? Are you okay?”

I have to swallow to replace my voice, “Yep!”

Releasing me completely, Axel turns until he’s facing Fish Guy.

A head taller, nearly twice as wide, and in a defensive stance, Axel does not look like a man to be fucked with.

“I appreciate you asking that.” Axel surprises me with that statement. I was expecting him to tell the guy to beat it. “That hers?” He asks, pointing to a small bag in Fish Guy’s hands.

My date nods and holds out the purse that I’d forgotten all about and had left sitting on the table. I try to tell him thank you as I take it, but just end up mouthing the words.

Axel holds out his hand and, looking confused, my date takes it out of habit. I pretend to not notice that it’s the same hand that was just in my mouth.

As they shake, Axel honest-to-god thanks him. “Thanks for looking out for her. But sorry, it was never gonna work for you two.”

Fish Guy nods a little, looking very unsure about Axel’s intentions. But Axel doesn’t say more, just drops the guy’s hand before he wraps an arm around my shoulder and walks us out of the back hall towards the exit.

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