Leo Rossi: The Rise of a True Alpha (The Rossi Legacies Book 2)
Precious Bonds Chapter 4

KAREENA.

I look over at the glowing blue numbers of my digital clock beside the bed. Turning onto my side, the bed creaks a little.

The rustle of the bedding is loud in the silence of the night. I sigh softly as I stare at the time. It's nearly two in the morning...

Jax had left over an hour ago, but I'm unable to get him out of my mind. He's handsome and I can't deny that he has this sexy vibe going for him.

That's Jax though. He makes sexy look easy; he can pull off formal wear as well as casual, and what really gets to me is how no matter what he does, he looks effortlessly good doing it. Unlike me, I'm a mess the majority of the time.

I roll onto my back smacking the duvet in frustration.

Why am I even thinking about him? Because his words are getting to me... the way he gets into my personal space so damn casually and doesn't even seem to realise what he's doing to me.

But he's just being himself and... even if he's flirting a little... it doesn't mean anything... right?

I sit up, shaking out the rumpled duvet before dropping back onto the cushions with an oomph.

Why is he always on my mind at night? Honestly, I just want to sleep!

Goddess...

I suddenly sit up again, my heart hammering as I look around the magnolia walls of my bedroom, my gaze stopping on the large white wardrobes opposite me. I stare at my reflection in the mirrors on the wardrobe doors. Something hits me with a damning blow.

When have my late-night thoughts that were once plagued with memories of Shane, shifted from him to Jax?

Just the thought makes my heart squeeze as guilt rips through me.

Is that all my love was?

Tears sting my eyes that are now pitch black as I kick the duvet off and cross the room, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

My heart's pounding as I pull my top down from my shoulder and look at Shane's mark that is now tattooed over my shoulder; it consists of a shield which covers my shoulder.

It has a sword upon it with an intricate hilt. In front of the shield is a wolf standing protectively.

Shane... the shield of defence...

He was ready to protect everyone, and he died a true warrior..

I brush my fingers down my tattoo. Right beneath it, I had his name tattooed too.

I look at Jax's mark on my neck. It's darker than Shane's was. It consists of a thicket of trees, black with hues of dark green, and through the trees, you can see the dark silhouette of a wolf with yellow eyes peering out from between the trees. Jax... also a defender, but one who is ready to attack and kill for anyone...

What would you think, Shane?

My eyes well with tears, and I drop to the floor, staring at my reflection.

Why did you have to go?

Why is it in his presence I don't remember you as often anymore? What do I do?

Questions he'll never answer...

I ball my hands into fists, rocking myself gently when I feel my wolf's presence intensely at the forefront of my mind and suddenly a memory from long ago hits me with such clarity, I feel a shiver run down my spine. My wolf. She's making me remember a memory from long ago...

'I'm scared you'll get hurt, babe. Life comes with risks, darling.

I know... but I never want to lose you, Shane...

'If the day comes and I don't return to you... move on Rina, for me. I don't want your life stopping with mine!

Don't say that! Nothing is going to happen to you. Do you understand me?'

I'm just saying if it does-'

'There's no if!'

'Ok, ok, come here... but still, I want you to know that - alright? Live on.

I gasp as I return to the present, my heart hammering.

He had answered that question. He wanted me to move on. Everyone has said it and I know it too, but I have remained in denial.

Then all I need is to allow myself to do so...

But is there even anything there? From Jax's side?

Who knows... I just need to stop being so closed off... I mean, I have improved, and I am being more open.

Maybe I shouldn't overthink it and just be myself and not hold back.

To live in the future...

I stand up and switch the light on and look around my room, a room that was ours - mine and Shane's.

Maybe the time has come to change things around...

Brushing my tears away, I think fondly of some of the moments in this room.

It's always going to be a special part of me, but to move on, not for another but for myself, this is something I need to do.

I grab a scrunchie and tie my hair back before I leave the room. Slowly I peek in on Shane, who is happily asleep in his cot, before closing the door and getting to work.

It's a three-bedroom house and although this is the biggest room in the house, I think I have an idea.

Four hours later, I stand back, hands on hips. I'm a little sleepy, a little sweaty but a little satisfied too.

I look around at the upturned rooms. I know it's impulsive, but I think it's time to transform my old bedroom into a gorgeous home library. I've managed to bring the shelves I had in the downstairs study upstairs, and I've set them up against the wall on the same side as the door.

I'll display some of Shane's pictures here...

Looking over, the wardrobes are fitted so I won't be able to move them, but if I replace them with shelves...

I pull them open and look at Shane's clothes, my heart squeezing as I run my fingers along them.

I take one out, inhaling it before I hug it to my chest tightly.

I'll always love you. A single tear trickles down my cheek, but through it I smile gently.

You will always be a part of me.

I open the suitcase I had placed on the bed and begin to fold Shane's clothes into them. There's only a suitcase worth since he went through so many clothes fast.

After all, shifting, training and work cost a lot of clothes.

Once I'm done, I go through his watches and a few pieces of jewellery he owned. Placing them all in a box, I put it aside. There are plenty of shoes, but I think I can donate those.

I then take my own clothes and carry them into the guest room. I think I'll need to build an ensuite over the garage... but for now, it'll do.

I open the wardrobe, freezing when I look at the few outfits of Jax's that are hanging here. Clothes he's left behind when he has stayed over...

I push them to one side and hang my own up.

What am I doing?

Slowly, I back away from the wardrobe and turn away, not wanting to lose focus on what I'm doing.

Shane's and my room will always be a safe place, a place to keep the memories of ours intact.

Now where was I?

The desk, I think that'll fit nicely in this room. That way I can make the downstairs study into a playroom for Shane.

I head downstairs. Glancing out the window, I notice the first ray of dawn seeping through.

Hmm, I better try to get an hour or two of sleep in before Shane wakes up.

Deciding I'll get a nap in after I move the desk upstairs, I empty the drawers quickly and lift it slightly to assess the weight.

It's heavy, made of solid wood with iron-capped corners.

Not an issue to lift, but something that is nearly six feet in width won't be easy to manoeuvre up the stairs.

Should I hold out and get the boys to do it tomorrow?

The urge to try to just do it gets the better of me and I drag it out of the room before lifting it onto the bottom step, grunting with the effort, as I brace myself.

It's big...

I lift it onto the second step, taking care as I balance it one step at a time.

I'm almost at the top with just four steps left, when a sudden agonising pain rushes through me and I am unable to hold on. Stumbling, I lose my hold and fall backwards with the desk barrelling down on top of me.

I raise my arms to shield my face and chest as the desk slams right into me; the corner slamming into my waist.

A scream escapes me as the agonising pain I'm in increases tenfold and my entire body screams with burning pain.

Shane! Did I scare him? I still, trying to calm my pounding heart, not caring for the pain as I listen for any sound.

There's no crying, and I gasp in relief. He's asleep.

Groaning, I try to move the desk off me, looking down at the corner, which is crushed into my side.

The iron cap has come off, and the wood has splintered, causing a sharp jagged part to stab into my waist.

Blood is spreading across my top, and the strong smell fills my nose.

Oh shit.

It's quite deep... oh fuck, I'm going to have to make sure that no splinters are left inside...

I groan as I try to turn so I can push the heavy thing off when the corner digs deeper into me, forcing me to let go and take a breath.

I feel another wave of hot pain rushing through me.

Heat.

I should have known! Over the years, the gaps between the tell-tale signs and actual heat have gotten smaller and I'm certain at this rate before afternoon comes I'll probably be in full-blown heat. Oh fuck.