Little Hidden Darknesses
Ten:

My fingers trembled as I flicked through the keys in the cabinet. Room nr. 09. The room my mum had stayed in twenty years ago. I couldn’t believe it. Finally, I had adequate proof to verify her existence. To prove that she had been here, on the island, in the very space I roamed now.

Of course the room ought have been cleaned, renovated and aired out after so long, but a part of me – more than just a part – urged to see it. To breathe in the remnants of her aura.

Not that I believed in auras and such.

Room nr. 07. Room nr. 08. Room nr. 10. I growled under my breath. Where the hell was room nr. 09’s key? Nobody had stayed in there since my mum – not that I could tell from the guest book, anyway – and someone ought to have gone in there at least once in the past twenty years. Perhaps the room didn’t exist anymore. Perhaps it was submerged in fog, and Mrs. Perez had tossed away the key. Damn this town and its ridiculous beliefs.

Why couldn’t anything around here be simple for once?

I slammed my hand on the empty spot in the cupboard. It vibrated on the wall, rattling the keys.

“Ease up the force, will you?” came a voice from the corridor left of the desk. It was soon accompanied by a red, sweaty-looking Alejandro with a toolbox propped under his left arm. I flinched, not because he frightened me, but because of how silently he walked.

Okay, maybe he did frighten me.

“What did the cupboard ever do to you?” he asked as he wiped his forehead under his fringe.

I slammed it shut and spun, frustration wringing my brows together. “Where’s the key to room nr. 09?”

Alejandro seemed taken aback by my question. He put the toolbox on the desk with a thump, then asked, “Room nr. 09? No one’s stayed in there for ages. What do you need it for?”

“I was, well, scanning the guest book like you mum said,” I began, “only to come across something.”

“What kind of something?”

I fled toward the desk and pushed the guest book toward him, my index finger pressed to my mum’s entry. “Piper Vinsant. My mum. She stayed in that room twenty years ago.”

“Wow. Twenty years ago?” Alejandro ran his hand through his damp and shaggy tresses. I recognised hesitation in his voice, in the way he bit his lower lip and frowned a little.

“Alejandro,” I said and turned toward him, “please, I know it’s unlikely to prove anything, but I have to see it. Maybe she engraved something on the wall. Maybe if I could just sit on the bed …” Maybe what? What did I hope to replace in an old and dusty motel room?

Contain yourself, Eira. Be realistic.

“Fine,” Alejandro agreed after another moment of staring at the guestbook. “I guess there’s no harm in checking out an empty room. If it’s dirty, though, it’ll be added to your workload.”

“Great,” I almost yelled, then grabbed his upper arm with so much force, he jerked with surprise. I immediately withdrew my hand, however, my cheeks warm. “About checking out the room, of course. Not the extra work.” A pause. “But thank you. I’ll make it quick.”

Alejandro opened the topmost drawer of the desk and took out a jangling ring of keys. He twirled it around his finger as if to impress me, then took a deep breath and crossed the reception to the door. “Yea, you better make it quick. Old Henry’s helping my mother with fuse box right now, but I bet he’ll want to take a shower once it’s fixed. You’ll have to be done with his room by then.”

“Shit,” I said, though more to myself. With everything that had happened, I entirely forgot I was still on the job. But the job didn’t matter now. It did, but not as much as the room.

“You got that right,” Alejandro teased me. He opened the door and let me exit first before padding after me across the deck. “I’m thinking we should’ve checked your references.”

When I didn’t react, he jostled me in the ribs. I forced a grin for the sake of social conduct, then went back to blankly staring ahead of me. For some reason, I felt nervous.

Excited, but in the way that sent prickles up your arms and turned your stomach inside out.

Room nr. 09 lay at the far end of the deck by the forest, a type of murkiness surrounding it. Not a shadow, exactly, but a sense of abandonment. Of neglect and dilapidation. A series of roots crept up the walls, into the rain pipe and on their way to the roof – almost as if the forest had decided to claim the room. Luckily the fog hadn’t followed yet.

“Oh, yea. There’s something I wanted to ask you,” I said to dislodge the knot in my throat. It didn’t work, and perhaps made it worse. “What’s with those weird dates in the guest book?”

“Weird dates?” Alejandro asked. He strolled with his head down, his fingers flipping through the ring of keys. For a moment I though he might walk into a post, but he swerved around it at the last moment, barely even flinching. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

I searched his face for any amount of amuse, any sign that he might be pulling my leg, but came up clean. “You’re kidding, right?” I said. “It says Henry checked in a whole century ago.”

Only now did Alejandro laugh, though it was more in surprise rather than admitting to a prank. “Really?” he said, still flipping, still not looking up. “The book says that?”

“Well, it’s not something you easily miss.”

“Yea, I suppose not. Sorry to disappoint, though, but I’m pretty sure Henry’s only stayed here a few years. I suppose my mother must’ve written it down as a joke or something. Not that she ever makes jokes.” We reached room nr. 09 just as Alejandro found the key.

The bright red door seemed more worn than the others, like it hadn’t been touched in all that time.

“You need a moment?” asked Alejandro with the key raised to the lock. He looked at me in such a way, I felt compelled to outwardly compose myself. Could he see the nervousness on my face? The way my knees wobbled? I couldn’t tell. Heck, I couldn’t even breathe.

In. Out. In. Out.

I replied with a nod and he put the key in the lock. Compose yourself, Eira. It’s just a room. An empty room.

The lock clicked as Alejandro turned the key. He reached for the handle and opened the door, slowly, letting it creak. A muskiness smacked me in the face as I entered, and I blinked until my eyes adjusted. It was no need, though, as Alejandro flipped the switch on the wall and the ceiling light set ablaze. It flickered for a moment, then cast the room in yellow.

In. Out. In. Out.

I stepped forward, right into a sticky cobweb, and yelped. Alejandro merely laughed and cleared them away. My cheeks once again started to sear, however the warmth immediately vanished when I looked about the room. Not so abandoned as we thought.

“Wow,” was all Alejandro said.

Atop the bed sat an open backpack surrounded by a hoodie, hat and scarf. A pile of brochures lay on the dresser table, along with old sandwich containers and empty water bottles. I saw a pair of trainers by the foot of the bed, still with a pair of socks stuffed into them.

“Are you sure no one is staying in here?” I started to ask, but then decided the answer for myself.

By the looks of it – the array of spiderwebs, musky smell and dust floating all over the place – no one had come in or out of here for a long time. Then, another thought crossed my mind.

“Alejandro,” I started to say.

“Uh huh?” he replied, although somewhat distantly. I turned to watch him, still outside the room, but looking in as if he knew something I didn’t. As if he saw something I didn’t.

“I think we should check the bathroom.”

“What? W – Why?”

“Don’t you see? All this stuff has to belong to someone. And if it’s all still here, it means the person ...” I couldn’t even bring myself to finish. “There might be a … you know … body …”

This made Alejandro frown. His mouth twitched and I expected him to scoff, but he quickly corrected it and said, “You think whoever squatted in this room is in the bathroom?”

A pause in which he swallowed.

“Dead?”

I nodded. “I’ve watched a lot of crime dramas.” As if that qualified me for a situation like this.

“Alright,” Alejandro said with a sigh. “I hope you’re wrong, though. I really hope you’re wrong.”

The two of us shuffled across the room to the bathroom. I for some reason winced every time a floorboard creaked, even though it was just the two of us. My heart leapt into my throat, making me feel sick. What was I thinking? I didn’t want to replace a dead body in a tub.

Who would?

Luckily, Alejandro held me back in order to enter first. He took a breath and held it in his cheeks, half resembling a chipmunk as he did so. Then, he kicked open the bathroom door and entered. A gasp escaped his lips, followed by, “Eira, don’t come in here.”

But I had to.

I veered around the corner, my eyes already wide and a scream ready to be released.

The bathroom was empty. Well, the tub was full of cockroaches, but no dead bodies of any kind.

“What the hell, Alejandro? Don’t ever do that again!” I shouted, slapping the back of his head. He grabbed my wrist and brought it to his chest, a smiled stretching from ear to ear.

“Come on,” he protested, “tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing?”

I let him hold me for a moment before I playfully wrenched away. “Ha, I’d never sink as low.” Then, I spun – making sure I whipped my ponytail – and strutted back into the room.

The first thing I approached was the bag on the bed. I picked up the hoodie and opened it, surprised to see a school’s emblem on the front. I found a plaid skirt and stockings inside the bag, along with several textbooks and a notebook with a name on the front.

Piper Vinsant. All of this was hers.

I choked silently, gagged on the many emotions, thoughts, memories and conclusions that raced through my mind. Before I could stop myself, I pressed the hoodie against my chest, burying my nose in it. I took the deepest whiff possible, just to smell her again.

But it didn’t smell the same.

The fabric had an aged mouldiness to it, like wet carton. Nothing like the mum I used to know.

“This was my mum’s,” I said when Alejandro came to stand next to me. The distance in my voice surprised even myself. I couldn’t bring it back, no matter how hard I tried.

Alejandro pried the hoodie from my grip. “Your mother’s?” he asked as he studied the emblem. “Mmm ... I’ve got a hoodie just like this. It seems Evermist High’s uniform hasn’t changed in some time.” When he held it up, his eyes dimmed and he drifted off. Just for a moment though, before he coughed and tossed the hoodie on the bed, somewhat jittery now.

I kept my eyes on him, even as I made for to the dresser, for the pile of brochures atop it.

“I found ones just like these in my mum’s closet. She’s been gathering them for as long as I could remember.” I picked up a few on London, all crinkly and folded in places. Red circles surrounded the local attractions, the same attractions she had made me visit every year since I was five. I never understood her fascination, her desire to stare up at a clocktower.

I did it anyway, though. To make her happy.

A sad smile crept around my mouth as I put back the brochures. It seemed even as young girl, my mum desired to travel the world. Too bad she never made it further than Scotland.

I spotted two crinkled pieces of paper in the bin next to the dressing table, two pieces that begged to be read. My knees cracked when I bent down and grabbed the first one. I opened it up and read it aloud, “Don’s Ferries, +44 02 3217. Sunday, July 16th, 23:00. Plymouth, England.” I squeezed down on the paper. “Do you know what this means, Alejandro?”

Only I spoke on before he could answer, “This is the ferry that transported her off the island.”

“Yea, that’s great. The real question is, though, why didn’t anyone clean this room?” Alejandro responded, not really paying me much attention. He traced his index finger along the dusty windowsill, then blew on it. “I mean, twenty years. What about when your mother checked out?”

I tuned him out as he rambled on, instead focussing my attention on the second piece of paper. Before I could take it from the bin, though, my eyes caught something metallic by the foot of the desk. A key. The missing key from the cupboard, to be precise.

“I don’t think she ever checked out,” I declared as I came upright with the key in my hand.

Alejandro approached to take it from me. Our fingers touched when he did, except no spark ran between us. In fact, his skin had a chill to it. “Why wouldn’t she have checked out? And why leave her stuff?”

“I think my mum didn’t have much time. If you ask me, it looks like she ran away from here.”

“Ran away? Why would she have done that?”

I worked my jaw as I thought about it, then I shrugged. “It must have something to do with the letter she left. With the oh-so-secretive apology. That’s all I can possibly think of.”

“Wait, I’m lost. What letter, and what apology?”

“Oh, right. You know that letter I told you about, the one that led me here, to the island?”

Alejandro nodded.

“Well, it contained an apology from my mum. I don’t know what for, but she said something along the lines of she couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Do what?” Alejandro asked, even though I already told him I didn’t know. I could tell he was far away, entranced still. He raised the key again, his hand trembling and his eyes waxy. I watched him walk around the room like this, all the way to the bed where he sat down.

“Everything okay?” I asked as I bent down and took the second crinkled paper from the bin.

Alejandro nodded and put away the key. “Y – Yea. I think the dust in here is making my head groggy.”

While I still wasn’t convinced, I decided not to pry. Instead, I flattened the paper and scanned it. Despite what I thought, it wasn’t another draft of the ferry’s information, but a note.

To a young man.

“Listen to this,” I said, then paced toward the bed as I read it out loud.

My Love,

I would’ve liked to tell you this in person, but I’m afraid my heart would break if I did. I’m leaving. Tonight.

I don’t know whether you’ll even get this, but when and if you do, I’m afraid you’ll already have forgotten me. I guess it’s good. Better that way. You need to forget about me. Forget about the two of us.

If, indeed, you’re wondering why I picked up and left so suddenly, just know it had nothing to do with you. In fact, you were the only thing that kept me from leaving sooner. I don’t know what will happen with my family after I’m gone, but please take care of yourself. Please, just stay safe.

I hope to start a new life in England. Not too far away, but still far enough from this wretched island. Maybe I’ll even start a family. Raise a child. It might not be with you, but you’ll always stay in my heart.

Maybe we’ll see each other again someday.

All my love,

Piper

My voice croaked as I read the closing words. I couldn’t believe it. Did my mum leave behind the love of her life? And all because of something she did? If anything, this proved why the Vinsants hated me. Whatever my mum did, whatever made her leave, had to be serious.

I closed my hand into a fist, crumpling the paper, and looked up at Alejandro on the bed. Strangely enough, he seemed more shocked than me. Not just shocked, but taken aback a great deal. In fact, his eyes had gone pink and teary, and his mouth hung open a little.

“Alejandro,” I asked with hesitation, “what’s the matter?”

When after several seconds he still didn’t respond, I snapped my fingers in front of his face. He rapidly blinked, a single tear skidding down his cheek before he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “Oh,” he said, “yes, I’m fine. Like I said, all this dust must be triggering my allergies.”

“You were crying,” I declared, perhaps too accusingly. And this made him respond with irritation.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Eira,” he snapped. “Why would I be crying?”

“I don’t know, you tell me. Do you know something I don’t? Like who my mum wrote this to?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t.” Alejandro stared at me with such a concrete expression, I couldn’t help but believe him. He seemed back to his old self now. Well, mostly. “At least you’ve now got proof. Your mother stayed in this room. She lived on the island before moving away.”

I opened the note again and skimmed it once over. “Yea, I guess you’re right. But who’s this secret lover of hers? And, well, do you think he ever got the note after she ran away?”

Alejandro shrugged. “Maybe he was the one to throw it in the bin. I know I would’ve.” His attention briefly veered off again, but then he added, “He must’ve been heartbroken.”

“Yea,” was all I said. “None of this makes any sense, though. Why doesn’t anyone in town remember my mum?”