Staying away from Olivia has been hard since the camping trip.

While she’s awake and aware anyway.

I usually slip into her room when she’s asleep to lie with her, walk with her to practice from afar, or watch her on my one remaining camera that points right at her bed. Sometimes I think she’s left it there intentionally. She wants me to watch her, to see the way she touches herself night after night. It’s like an addiction now, watching the way her fingers slip between her thighs, her red-painted nails circling her clit while she stares right at the lens.

I want to fuck her. So damn badly.

The decision to step back wasn’t my own. I mean, it was, but it also wasn’t. If it was fully up to me, I’d grab her in front of our parents and show them just how unlike siblings we can be.

I don’t want distance from Olivia, not in the slightest. But it’s for the best. I’m losing myself—even my friends have been concerned. Mason texts me more often to meet up on our bikes, and asks me constantly how I’m feeling and if I’m going to off myself.

Obviously not—imagine leaving this world without Olivia?

She’d need to be dead already for me to willingly leave this earth.

The thing is, the moment I realized I had to put myself first was when Dad found me losing my shit that night of the camping weekend. I passed out from lack of oxygen, woke up a few minutes later, and we sat in silence in the woodland for hours. He didn’t tell Mom because he knows she’d want me to do the therapy and medication crap again. Dad knows I hate it, that I’d never stick it out. It would be a waste of their money and everyone’s time.

Dad asked me what happened to trigger the attack, but as has been the case for months, I couldn’t answer. Even signing to him would’ve made me look weaker than I already am. He has an idea of how messed up I am from when I was younger. My diagnosis solidified that I wasn’t mentally wired the same way as the rest of the Vize family. Still, they kept me under their wing despite being afraid of me, of the dark thoughts I’d get.

Honestly, I have no idea why they didn’t throw me back into the system.

I certainly deserved it.

I’m the son they never wanted, and they’re all stuck with me. I think Dad is starting to catch on to the way I am with Olivia. That he was right when we were younger. The obsession I have with everything about her is unhealthy and wrong.

I’ve noticed him watching us a lot since the camping trip, and he definitely knows something is up. Me and Olivia don’t communicate—I only look at her when she isn’t looking, and I don’t follow her around like a lost puppy anymore.

Even if he does replace out my true feelings, there’s nothing he can do.

They can dope me up with meds, force me into an institution, try to cleanse me of my fucking sins. I’ll still be living and breathing for my sister, waiting for her to choose me. It’s been too long since I was so damn close to touching her, kissing her, claiming her, and I’m dying to communicate with her, but this is more fun.

She’s in the bathtub right now while I lie on my back on her bed. Usually, when her music stops, I’ll leave before she comes out or slip under her bed and vanish when she’s fallen asleep.

Keeping my balcony doors locked, knowing when she’s having a nightmare and seeking me out yet ignoring her, has been hard. But when she does pass out, I’m always sliding into her room and watching her sleep.

It’s kind of creepy.

My friends would have my balls if they knew what was going on in my mind.

My eyes fall on the glass of water filled with ice sitting beside her bed. The little frozen cubes are nearly gone. I decide to make myself useful and change it while my sister takes forever in the tub.

When I’m in the kitchen emptying the glass, Mom walks in and huffs, “You left the garage door open again, and there are marks on the driveway from the wheels of your bike. Do you ever listen?”

I ignore her. Her voice grates on my nerves—like nails on a chalkboard.

She opens the medicine cabinet and grabs a bottle of pills, taking two out. “I usually only have one, but I need to be in a deep sleep for the next twelve hours. Don’t ask me for anything until I resurface.”

Is she drunk or something? When do I go to her for anything?

She swallows the pills with water, her eyes focusing on me, narrowing as if she wants to talk to me more, to ask me something, but then she rolls her eyes and puts the glass into the sink and walks out.

An idea comes to the forefront of my brain at my mom’s words. Her pills. The idea is depraved and wrong, but I don’t know how much control I have left. If I don’t do this, I might have to kiss Olivia while she’s awake, and it might ruin everything if she pushes me away or even fucking slaps me for attempting to kiss her.

But if she’s asleep…

I could kiss her, and she couldn’t tell me no.

It might stop my obsession. Stop the craving for my little sister. Scratch the itch to stick my dick in someone I grew up with as a sibling.

I pop four tablets in then a fifth, leaving them to sit until they’re fully dissolved. Stirring with a spoon, I add in a few ice cubes, the smallest amount of orange juice to hide the medical taste, then head upstairs to Olivia’s bedroom.

Thankfully, she’s still not out of the bathroom, so I place the glass where it was, hurrying into her closet when I hear her music stop.

Her footsteps might as well be on my chest.

A towel around her, she rubs a second one into her hair. There are little droplets leftover from the shower making wet trails down her skin, and my mouth waters, my breaths heavy through my nose.

She takes forever to dry her hair, my throat closing as the towel wrapped around her body drops to her feet. Her breasts, her pussy, her fucking body.

Fuck.

Sadly, she pulls on a nightdress, my entertainment keeping me awake as she practices one of her routines in the mirror before she calls Abbi, tells her to meet her tomorrow at the mall, then downs the glass in one go, making the remaining ice cubes hit her teeth.

Her nose crinkles with a grimace, and she glances down at the empty glass. She licks her lips, then goes into her bathroom to rinse the glass and set it aside.

It’s done. Pretty soon—in minutes even—Olivia will lose consciousness.

My cock shouldn’t be hard. Nothing has happened, yet it’s standing at attention, nearly nudging the closet door open. Maybe I should be honest and tell her she’s mine instead of drugging her into a sleep for my own enjoyment?

I shrug to myself. Too late.

I stare at the clock opposite where I’m hiding. The arms seem to be taking forever to make their way across the face, and tick by tick, Olivia’s breathing grows heavy as she bundles herself under the duvet.

I should feel bad. I should feel disgraced with myself for drugging my sister, but there’s only so much control I can have until it snaps. I’m not a good guy—never have been. I’m an asshole, controlling, and I don’t deserve the life I have. I’m certain I should be locked up in a psych ward or something.

I think, by the way my excitement is growing the less lucid she becomes, I’ve definitely snapped and dropped off the cliff with no return to reality.

The door creaks open, and I leave my hiding spot, moving to the side of her bed before slowly lowering to my knees. I’m nervous. I’ve never been so nervous in my life. Because I can do what I want, but I have no idea where to start.

Olivia’s face is sweet and relaxed. Beautiful. Stunning. Breathtaking.

Anyone would be lucky to call her their wife, mother of their children, the person they get to grow old with.

Her chest rises and falls with each breath she pulls into her lungs. Her lips are so full, and I want to kiss them. I want to hear her gasp against my mouth as I devour her, to feast on her tongue and trap her bottom lip between my teeth. I’d rather she was aware that it was me, that she could watch me as I slid down her body to taste her, but this will do.

Dad’s voice is in my head, telling me to stay away from Olivia. He’s never really trusted me around her. Ever. And he isn’t wrong—but now she’s just turned eighteen, me about to turn twenty, the innocence is gone, and I know exactly what I want.

I adored my sister. She was, or is, my anchor. She’s the only person in the world I want to communicate with or care about. But I don’t want to cuddle her and talk and act like I don’t want her. I want every inch of her more than I need air.

It’s not right, but I don’t give a fuck. I’m well aware that it’s not allowed, that my dick shouldn’t twitch and harden at the thought of sticking my cock between her tits until I paint them with my cum.

I slowly pull down the blanket, my breaths catching in my throat when her soft, delicate skin comes into new.

Olivia’s nightdress has ridden up to her hips. She’s intentionally been wearing less and less clothing to bed, and I can’t say I have any complaints. She could be completely naked and I’d still need more. Watching her naked, showering and even pleasuring herself isn’t enough. I need to be the cause of those fucking beautiful moans.

I’ve never touched a girl before—never felt the need or wanted to. But I want to touch my sister so badly that I can’t stop myself as I pull the blanket completely off her and stare at her bare legs; at those perfect damn thighs that I want wrapped around me as I drive into her hard enough to smack the headboard off the wall.

The desire is too much. I let my fingertip drag over her collarbone, hooking under the strap of her nightdress and pulling it down off her shoulder. The curve of her breast appears, then her pink nipple, and a thud hits my balls. A pulse. My dick is struggling in my boxers, especially when the pad of my thumb circles her nipple, making it pebble.

It’s still not enough. I pull down the other side, both breasts free, and shift myself onto the mattress, between her legs, and pull the nightdress completely off her. Her panties are plain, white and innocent, and I remove them too, my tongue swiping at my lips as soon as my eyes land on her pussy.

I glance up at her face, still asleep, and keep my gaze on her as I press my thumb to her clit. If she wakes, she can slap me, and I’ll apologize. Her brows knit together a little, furrowing deeper as I apply pressure, slowly circling around the sensitive area.

The fact she isn’t waking up and yelling at me has me smirking and circling again, learning the feel, the physiology of her most private part.

I use both thumbs to spread her pussy lips, seeing how pink and pretty she is, then lower my face so I’m an inch from her and inhale.

Better than fucking drugs, or the adrenaline I get on my bike, or when I drive my fist into some asshole’s face. Her cunt is my new favorite toy.

I run my thumbs up the sides of her pussy, parting the flesh around her clit, opening her more for me.

Circling her with my thumb again, I slide my finger down to her entrance, keeping my eyes on her as I feel how wet she is despite being asleep. A little whimper escapes as I ease a finger in, my lips parting as I study how warm she is inside, just as perfect as her exterior.

I huff out a deep breath, needing to free my cock, then stroke it as I push my finger in deeper.

My hands are much larger than her own. Will this hurt her? I know when a girl loses her virginity, it can hurt, make them bleed, but will a finger cause her pain?

I pull my finger out to make sure there’s no blood, but it’s just wet.

Gulping, squeezing my dick as I stroke from base to tip, I suck my finger into my mouth, my eyes rolling on a silent hum. She tastes like heaven.

I bend her knees then push her thighs apart and tug down my boxers, kicking them to the floor, my shirt joining them. If she’s naked, it’s only fair that I am too.

I ease two fingers inside her, pausing as her body tenses, unable to blink or move or anything. She tightens around my fingers for a second, getting even wetter.

Wake up, little sister, I say in my head. Wake up and see what your big brother is doing to you. Feel how much you want him with his fingers buried in your cunt.

I should fuck her. Be her first. If I fill her with my cum and keep it in there, she might fall pregnant. Then she’d be stuck with me.

It’s three in the morning. Mom is out cold from her sleeping pills, Dad is working on an appeal case that’s all over the news, and the staff are all off. No one can catch me violating my sister as I lower myself over her body, burying my nose into her hair and inhaling.

Addictive. I inhale deeper, making sure I don’t crush her small frame as my cock presses to where my fingers are easing in and out. Slow. Shallow, not even to my first knuckle. Wet. Growing tighter with each thrust.

My other hand rests in her hair, and I close my eyes, my cock thickening with how delicate and soft she is. I push two fingers deeper and pause when her hips rock upwards, taking my fingers to the knuckle. Whatever she thinks her dream is, she’s trapped, keeping her asleep.

Part of me wants her to wake up and beg for more, to moan my name and admit her feelings. Though I’m not sure how she’d react if she woke up to me on top of her, my dick thrusting against her thigh, my fingers deep inside her, making her whimper even more.

She did grind her perfect little ass against me, then chickened out when I tried to put her hand down my boxers. She confuses me. I know my little sister has a crush on me; that all these dates that Mom sets her up on are pointless.

Pointless because she won’t marry any of them. I’ll make sure of it.

My Olivia groans in her sleep again as I remove my fingers, sucking them clean.

I hike her knee to my hip and slide the underside of my dick against her pussy. And fuck, she’s soaking, and from Mason’s over-the-top detail about all the people he’s fucked, and from basic common sense, I know it’s a good sign that her body is moving absently, that her breathing is stilted.

I think I’m doing it right, and the way her hips lift, chasing the smoothness of my dick, I know my unconscious girl enjoys it. Such a twisted little sister chasing her brother’s cock while he practices on her.

She won’t even remember in the morning as I bury my nose in her hair and thrust harder between her legs. I won’t push my dick inside, even as my precum-covered head slips against her entrance. I want Olivia to be aware of who’s inside her when we lose our virginities together.

My spine twists with the sensation. At each light thrust and inhalation of her scent, my heart speeds up, and I feel my balls tingling, my dick throbbing and thickening. I’m covered in her arousal, my precum all over her pussy.

The sounds she makes against my ear makes my dick pulse and harden even more as I dry-fuck her sleeping body.

I kiss her throat, half wishing she’d wake up and accept what we are. The other half of me wants her to stay asleep and not ruin this. She’d say that we were siblings and that it’s wrong.

I capture her earlobe and suck on it lightly as I keep dragging my cock between her legs, needing more, needing to know what it’s like to actually fuck her, to have the warm flesh of her pussy wrapped around my cock, but I hold back.

I hear her phone buzzing on the bedside table. I’m so damn close to release. When another buzz comes, I stop, panting, and curiosity wins on the third message. I lean over and put in the passcode—my date of birth. It unlocks, and I frown at the messages from the asshole I attacked a while ago.

Adam: What time are you coming to my parents’ house tomorrow?

Adam: I don’t want to cancel and annoy our parents. How do we get out of this?

Adam: Or we could pretend again? I’ll make sure my maid doesn’t overhear us this time.

I grit my teeth and glare at my sister. Then I delete the messages and toss her phone back onto the table. She’s going on a date tomorrow? Does she like this guy? He’s a potential suitor for my sister now because of me. But if she likes him…

I lean over her again, fisting my dick as I perch my elbow against the pillow beside her head. Her lips are parted. I’ve thought about kissing those lips for far too long—but now I’m pissed, and the idea of someone else kissing her makes me want to hurt her.

Positioning my dick so my swollen head is right against her soaked entrance, I snatch her bottom lip between my teeth, sinking them in until she flinches then soothing the flesh with my tongue.

I regret it as soon as I do it, so I close my eyes and press my lips fully to hers. Her still, statue-like mouth is unmoving as I inhale deeply and take her chin, angling her head to kiss her harder.

I silently hum as I slip my tongue between her lips. She’s not kissing me back, but that’s okay. I hike her knee further up my hip as I keep feasting on her mouth, careful not to push into her and cause her any damage.

Firstly because she’s never had sex, and also because I don’t exactly have an average-sized dick.

Does she even know I’m pierced? Mason got it done, so I went with him, and it was the worst pain imaginable, especially at that age. But now it’s all healed, I’m a virgin with a pierced dick and an obsession with my sister, and I’m still going to argue that I’m not going to go to therapy or take any medication.

It’ll be fine. As soon as she realizes and chooses me, I’ll be normal.

Her cheeks are flushed, and I nearly die as she rocks against me, the tip nearly inside her. I pull back a few inches, my forehead to hers, and bring the head of my dick to her entrance again.

Fuck, I want her to be mine so badly. How do I stop this dating bullshit? Olivia is mine. The sooner Mom realizes that, the better.

I kiss her again, forcing my tongue in until I feel hers, my balls pulling tighter. My lungs burn, and I need to thrust so fucking much, but I hold back, even as my dick gets harder and starts to throb.

I’ve come to the thought of Olivia millions of times. From watching footage, pictures, or being physically near her while she touches herself. I’ve coated my hand, my duvet, my shower wall. But now, as I keep kissing Olivia, and her tongue reacts, moving against mine, I falter as she starts to tense beneath me. Her back arches, and she releases a moan loud enough to wake the dead as her cunt throbs against the head of my dick.

I release so hard, I need to sink my teeth into her lip again as I pulse, my cum painting her pretty little pussy.

Just to add to the pressure behind my eyes, I slip my hand between us, pushing two fingers in, needing some of my cum to be inside her. I gather more and push it in, until I’m satisfied.

She’s going on a date tomorrow with my cum inside her virgin cunt.

I pull away from her, my breaths heavy as I get to my feet and tuck my dick away, my heart racing. I run my hand through my hair then grab my phone, snap a picture of Olivia, and send it to my laptop. I’ll store it with the other images I have of her asleep, naked, eating, dancing, and when she’s smiling. If anyone found the shit I have on there, they’d think I was a creep and stalking my own sibling. And I guess, in a way, I am.

After taking one last look at her body, I don’t bother cleaning my mess as I put her panties and nightdress back on, already planning what I’ll do to her tomorrow night.

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