Love and Chaos Series
His Forbidden Mate Chapter 41

Xavier's words were comforting. Knowing he'd be on my side and root for my decision made me feel happy, yet I couldn't sleep as I went to bed. I couldn't stop thinking about Kailani or where she could be. I hoped and prayed she was safe and, though my guilt I missed her. It had been less than a day, but I missed her. Her laughter, her silly and witty remarks, her voice. I missed staring at her and getting lost in her eyes. I missed the smile and the way she said my name.

lingered, I knew I wouldn't be able to replace her.

I missed everything about her.

The ray of sun flickered over my face and my eyes opened to see the dawning of the day. I needed to start my day with a clear head and after my meditation; I started getting ready.

I marched downstairs and found Xavier and Mia at the dining table, about to have breakfast.

Their heads lifted to acknowledge my presence. "You look like shit. Did you even get any sleep last night?" Xavier raised a brow.

"A few hours. Thanks for caring." I bit back at him and he raised both hands in surrender.

"You're going out." Mia's eyes sparked with interest.

I nodded. "I need to meet Father at his estate before I leave for Lurds."

"Why?" Xavier's brow rose.

"I can't do what he wants, and he needs to know that. I need to replace my own way and create my own path." I replied.

"Do you need me to come with you?"

A smile came into my face and didn't leave, "And leave your lovely wife at the table, eating by herself? I'm not that cruel."

He sighed, "Fine, will you come to the Palace when you're done?"

I shook my head. "I'll leave for Lurds from our father's estate."

"So we won't see you in a while?"

I pressed my lips together, then shrugged. "I don't think my place is in the capital anymore. At least not now, anyway." I spoke. I knew Kailani would never take my offer of abandoning her parlour to come live with me in the capital. I could compromise and stay with her instead. She was worth it.

Mia rose from her seat and made her way over to me. She threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "I will miss you,"

I hugged back. "I will miss you, too."

"Take care of yourself."

"I will do that. Congratulations once again for your two years as husband and wife." I bow my head.

"Thank you."

...

My carriage came to a stop at Robb Ainsworth's estate and I dragged a deep breath before stepping out of the carriage and heading inside. My father had asked me to come and speak about the future yesterday. I did not have the courage to say what I needed to say then, but I did now and would say it, damning the consequences.

"It's nice of you to join us," Robb spoke as he stepped into the living area where he sat deliberating with an older priest.

"Good morning, father, good morning, your eminence." I bowed my head to both men before stepping further into the room where Robb always had his spiritual meetings. I stepped towards the table where they all sat and also took my seat.

"Have you given a thought to what we have spoken about these past few days?" he spoke, his eyes travelling over to me at the table.

"I haven't, but I don't think there's been enough time to even think through the decision."

"Some of the best decisions were made in the smallest time frame."

I wasn't sure that the saying was correct, but I listened because I felt there was more.

"I also invited Lady Shewa over to today's discussion. I saw you two together yesterday and thought it would be best to do so. You spoke about your union being a punishment, and I'm trying to make sure it's anything but a punishment to you and her."" I cleared my throat and placed my hands on the table before me. "Father, I understand your intentions are noble for the kingdom, but I think I already found myself a mate who completes me in every way."

"And unless they can bring allies and gear their loyalty towards the coming war, they are not the best mates for you. Edward you've always been the smart and calculating one, you know I'm right." he barely finished his words when the door opened and my head turned around to see Lady Shewa stepping into the living area, adorned in a silver gown that complimented her eyes. I didn't expect to see her. After last night's encounter and learning about my stand in all of this, I felt confused why she accepted my father's offer to come today.

"Lady Shewa!" father called out, rising from his seat and approaching her with open arms.

She flashed him a warm smile before diverting her attention to my father. "Your grace." She curtseyed humbly before they hugged.

"I'm glad you came."

"I wouldn't have missed it for anything in the world, father." She answered, then turned her gaze to the priest, "Your eminence." She bowed, her eyes staying on the priest for a while before moving to me. "My prince, it's a pleasure to see you once again." The pleasure wasn't mutual. I didn't want her here. I came to speak to my father about the woman I loved and my plans to take her as a wife and mate someday. Lady Black's presence would not only hinder me, but it would also make me out as the villain if I continued.

"My Lady," I nodded, acknowledging her presence but doing nothing more than that. If Robb felt the tension, he said nothing.

"Lady Shewa, please sit," he ushered her into a seat on a chair around the table. She obediently did as she was told and sat.

"Son, sit." Robb beckoned, but I didn't. I couldn't. I didn't plan to sit today, and I didn't come here to speak about any future union that didn't involve Kailani.

"I can't, father," I spoke, rising and taking a step back, and that made Robb raise a brow at me.

"Edward...?"

"I didn't come here to sit and talk, father. I came to tell you something important to me and my future and I'd appreciate we speak somewhere private." I said and walked away to the inner chamber where no one was.

Robb rose, and I heard him apologise on my behalf to Lady Shewa and followed me in. He stepped into the inner chamber with a disapproving look on his face. "I do not appreciate your level of disrespect before our guest."

"You didn't have to bring her father, you know my stand," I argued, my disappointment obvious.

"I know nothing. I saw you kiss her last night at the banquet."

"That was a mistake, but it further confirmed what I already know. That I do not want to be with her."

"Your brother also felt the same way when he married Mia, but they are happier than ever. If given a chance, the alpha king would have made his whore the queen, and that would have been the greatest mistake. I made sure that didn't happen, and that's what I am doing now, securing your future."

Hearing him equate what I had with Kailani to what my brother once had had with Zara stirred up anger within me. Kailani and Zara were not the same. One was a master manipulator, and the other was selfless and stood up for what she believed. Kailani might have wronged me in the past, but she made up for it and the more I got to know who she was, the harder I fell.

"My future is perfectly fine and I am not making the same mistake brother made with Zara. Lady Kailani completes me in ways lady Shewa never will." I spoke with much conviction.

He took a step towards me, "We come second, the kingdom comes first, always."

"My happiness is just as important as the kingdom."

A frown settled on his face at my response. He never thought in a million years I'd be the one rebelling against sacrifice and responsibility, and I didn't think I would either. "That is a selfish mindset."

"I'd rather be selfish than marry someone I'd never love. Someone who would be miserable because of me. Someone I'd abandon on her sick bed because I can't stand our union." at this point I was no longer talking about myself, I was talking about what I witnessed as a child growing up.

"Sacrifice has to be made." He said.

"Mother lived a miserable life because of the sacrifice. She hoped you'd someday love her, but you never did, not even on her dying bed did you come to show compassion. To this day, your first son hates you because of that. I do not want a future where my wife would cry herself to sleep because I would not bring myself to love her. I'd never forgive myself. I like to believe the moon goddess wouldn't be so cruel to do that to me." I turned and headed for the door. "Where are you going?" he demanded.

I halted but didn't turn around to face him. "Where I belong. I believe I can be happy and still keep the kingdom first. I know you don't know that because you do not even know your own son."

"You will not get my blessing if you go ahead with your rebellious plan."

"I know that." I pushed the door open and walked out.