Love and Chaos Series
The Alpha King’s Ugly Bride Chapter 62

Two things crossed Xavier's mind when he took Mia to bed. One, there will be a lot of change from now and two, there would be no going back. He didn't want to go back, not when he stared at her and saw the much need and desire she had for him. She was so responsive and he needed her. He needed to have her, feel her walls around him, clenching him hard, pulling him along with her until they were both spent.

Taking her would consummate their union and seal their bond as husband and wife. It also meant she would become his Luna, and he asked himself if he was ready for that, if he could trust her.

There had always been something he could trust in them and even now, behind her lustful gaze, it showed.

He could trust himself with her. And so he did, surrendering and reaping nothing but satisfaction.

He collapse on the bed, "Catch your breath. I still want more." His raspy voice informed her, and she didn't object.

He took her again, and it was a wild and mind-shattering adventure filled with pleasure and longing. She gave him as much as he gave her, and his release once again knocked the air out of him.

He laid beside her. His eyes fixed on the ceiling as he thought about what they had done while he dragged a few quick breaths to steady his raging heartbeat.

Falling from the height for the second time tonight was complete bliss, and it was worth the wait. He didn't want to jump to conclusions here and now, but he wanted to believe they could become more. His feelings weren't mere desire for her body, they were affections, care, and they felt genuine. Deep in his soul, he felt the connection that told him she belonged to him and also that he belonged to her. A connection he felt for none other.

He glanced at her and wondered if she knew what they had done, if she felt it too. He had given himself to her, and she had done the same, but it was more than just the physical exchange.

The consummation of their union had also created a bond between them, one they would never be able to break. She now had access to his mind and thoughts, just like he always had to hers. She could also now see his vulnerability and weaknesses and those things he could easily hide away before. He didn't know if she would be ready to deal with all that or if she would pretend like they never exist.

With Mia, he didn't quite know where he stood. There was so much complexity in her he didn't replace in another. Lately, her mind has been filled with different thoughts and deciphering it was almost a nightmare. Yet, it kept him curious and wanting more, and now he was drowning in her and not wanting to be saved.

Her lashes rested against her upper cheek as she stayed still, but her uneven heartbeat told him she wasn't sleeping. Not yet. She just didn't want to acknowledge his presence in bed with her.

Why did that thought hurt?

Why was he jumping to a conclusion?

He shut it down.

He wanted to cradle her closer, to feel the softness and heat coming from her body as she pressed against him. He wanted it and he'd do anything just to have it all.

"Oh, this feels so much better than expected."

He heard her thoughts, and he smiled to himself, knowing the feeling was mutual, but she continued.

"It's still not safe enough to trust, not after everything."

And this broke his heart.

She didn't trust him. She didn't feel safe with him, and he couldn't blame her. He gave her the reason to feel that way, and he was delusional to think she would forget so easily.

They had gone through a lot since being married. He had gotten to know her, and she had gotten to know him, at least parts of him. She understood him better than many people now and she had also been supportive of his recovery and healing, and he was grateful. He was getting better from the man he used to be. She could probably see that, but that didn't erase the many scars he had left. He was cruel, and he hurt her more than once and his recovery still didn't change all the horrible things he had done to her in the past.

He could barely stand the thought of how he once was with her.

That part of him will hunt him for the longest time.

Mia was the woman of his dreams and he may never have her because of the sins of the past.

There was no certainty she'd want to see him when she woke. She was already pretending to sleep just to avoid his presence.

Maybe to her, this was a casual thing and nothing more. It was more to him. He had connected with her in a way he couldn't go back from, but that wasn't important. She was important.

He rose from the bed and reached for his clothes. He wore them and glanced at her once more before exiting her chambers, and this time, she seemed to have fallen asleep.