Love Began with the First Meeting
Chapter 227 Agonizing When You Never Understand That I Pretend To Be Strong (Part Two)

Brian disregarded his wound. He couldn't even feel the pain. It was too insignificant to warrant his attention. But now, it began to hurt, because when he looked at Molly, he saw sorrow and disgust in her tired eyes. Maybe she was trying to hide these emotions, but he could detect them. He did not understand if she was sneering at him or at herself and her bitter past. The wound hurt, the heart hurt too. He felt as if his heart was being gripped by something stronger than his rationality. He frowned at his own lack of control over his emotions.

"Can't you quietly follow my commands for just a few days?" Brian asked firmly with annoyance laced in his voice, his anger concealed. Hearing his calm words, Molly felt a wave of cold rise from the bottom of her feet and it overwhelmed her. She found no emotion on his face and there was nothing but indifference in his eyes. Before she could reply, Brian continued, "Is it bad that I treat you a little better? When I show you a little mercy, you forget your identity and place, and you forget what you are supposed to do here, right?" Due to her throat, she could not speak a word in return. She bit her lips even harder, making the blood creep into her mouth. She felt the taste of rust enveloping her mouth as endless sadness and bitterness haunted her. Her lips curled into a pitiful smile, coldness unfolded on her face, as though it was telling the world her tragic stories of the past and the current dilemma she was in. She gazed at Brian. She pretended to be calm and nonchalant. But her clutched hands started quivering which quickly revealed her real feelings. A gush of emotions overwhelmed her.

'I will never forget that I am just a pastime toy for you, who belongs only to you. But, even as a toy, I am still a human with thoughts and feelings. I have a family too, like any other. I want to see them as well. I want to be with them. I am only twenty years old. I am obviously scared and lonely. I am not strong or brave enough to overcome all these horrible experiences so easily. I am just a vulnerable girl who desires the shelter of my parent's home when I get hurt. I also want to cry out about my pitiful state to them, to tell them about everything I have suffered through and I want to get all this sadness off my chest. Although I don't want my parents to worry about me, I still do want to see worry and care in my parents' eyes.'

Roaring emotions brimmed her heart. But, she could not say a word, partly because she could not speak now, but also because it was not necessary to say it. The only thing she could do was stare squarely at Brian with her brooding eyes, which indicated a great amount of sadness, unwillingness and grievance.

As a pathetic smile unfolded on her curled mouth, Molly felt a lump forming in her throat. She was being engulfed by self-pity. She wanted to refute what he had said, even wanted to accuse him of what he had done to her. She wanted a real and terrible quarrel with him, but it seemed impossible anymore. She was incapable of saying a word. She could not fight for herself or defend herself.

What was this nonsensical reason of vocal cords impairment caused by the inflamed tonsil?

She was not stupid. She was not a kid; she had common sense. Even if she didn't, she still watched TV. She must have become completely dumb. She was very sure that she was going to be dumb for the rest of her life. She would never be able to talk again. Even though she knew her cruel fact, she had to feign that she did not know it at all. All she could do was smile, and show how brave and strong she was. She kept trying to tell herself that she did not care. Aunt Shirley had said,"No matter what happens, we should move forward and press on ahead. The more effort we put in, more hopes we will have in the future. And finally, someday we will get a chance." But she had overestimated herself. Last night, she could not fall asleep and lay awake, tossing and turning. A sense of insecurity overwhelmed her. It incessantly got on her nerves, a feeling which she could not get rid of. She was anxious and scared to death, but she pretended that she had no idea about what was going on. Whenever the topic of her throat came, she had to put on a smile and act brave. The more she thought about her fate, the more sorrowful her smile turned out to be. Her beautiful eyes, her pitiful smile and the immense pain in her face were all in a torturous mix in front of Brian.

Molly clutched her fists harder as her emotions roamed wildly inside her. Her well-groomed and neat fingernails were pressed painfully into the skin of her delicate palms. Her hands hurt as the nails sunk into her flesh painfully; there was physical pain along with the mental stress. She somehow managed to keep her composure. She wanted to be brave and strong in front of Brian.

Brian's inky eyes were fixated on Molly. His eyes were like two mysterious cursed black diamonds which hid great power. It revealed all of Molly's concealed secrets. He could read the emotions behind her eyes. As soon as he looked at her, he was able to figure out her mixed and complex feelings. She was hesitant and confused about whether she should escape or stay, she was afraid about what would happen to her next, she was tenacious to face the fact that she might never talk again for the rest of her life. Besides all that, there was an undeniable grudge towards him because of his bullying, his arrogance and his indifference towards her suffering.

Her emotions couldn't be hidden from Brian's keen eyes. The more he read her eyes, the deeper his own eyes looked; his eyes were like a deep and profound well which reflected the bright moon at night, after witnessing the vicissitudes of the life of the people on the land, whereas it barely just sighed for their joys and sadness, their partings and reunions. Besides having such beautifully mysterious and attractive sight, he looked at Molly arrogantly, in a way which said he wanted to conquer and occupy her. But at the same time, he was also at a loss. He had no idea whether he should continue to show love to her.

"I have a rational reason for preventing you from meeting Steven," Brian frowned slightly and said. He was kind of surprised by Molly's reaction. However, he was not very raged about it. Maybe it was only because of his empathy for her, which might have been elicited by the sorrow exuded from her eyes. Brian had almost forgotten that there was no place for 'empathy' and 'mercy' in his life. As a man who had grown up in XK Intelligence Agency, an organization which had forever existed without any warmness or kindness, and known for its cruelty, he should never show any of those weak emotions to others. He was supposed to be cold, nonchalant and arrogant. 00000