Love Began with the First Meeting -
Chapter 732 The Farewell (Part Six)
Eric turned to his uncle. But before he could continue, his uncle lifted up his hand, stopping him. "Not all things in this world have happy endings. Sometimes, loosing something is also the part of the growing process." he said in a level and calm voice. Eric didn't say anything; he didn't want to go against his uncle, but he also didn't want Molly to leave. He wished that there were some way to make her stay. As the wailing from the group continued, he sighed and closed his eyes, turning his face away from them, not wanting to watch the group in their suffering.
After a while, Molly pulled back from Mark and Shirley. Wiping the tears on her face, she pulled out the divorce papers out of her purse, which she had already signed. She set them on her lap and then turned her attention to the diamond ring that adorned her marriage finger. She tugged on it, pulling it off of her finger, leaving her finger naked and bare like her heart. It seemed funny to her that once, the ring that symbolized their marriage and love now brought her extreme sadness. Now she needed to discard her once cherished diamond ring, which she had ever valued since the day that she and Brian made their vows and were proclaimed husband and wife. Once she had pulled the ring off of her finger, she set it aside, along with the divorce papers, on her bedside table, then she looked around the room blearily, her eyes seeming to be in a daze still. She smirked, more to herself than anyone else, and let out a very brief laugh.
'It's so ironic how my life has turned out! Five whole years I spent married to him. Five whole years I've wasted on hating him, resenting him, and now look! Five years ago, we fell in love with each other one snowy evening, and today, the snow is the same snow, and the people, me and Brian, are the same people. The exact same! But only there's no love anymore. It's disappeared as though it never existed in the first place. Now I am no one to him. No one. I'm just like any other ordinary girl to him... maybe I'm revolting to him, disgusting. I'm not any different than the other girls who would crawl all over him, the kind of girl he despised.' Molly closed her eyes. It was all so unbelievable and insane and depressing to her.
Five whole years have passed, spending mostly in misunderstanding and resentment. Looking back at her life, she found that she hadn't really considered his point of view.
A wave of nausea overwhelmed her as the realization of her selfishness set in. How could she ever earn back his love when it was nowhere to be found? How could she have thought to win back his heart? She knew that even if she kept on living, these feelings of sadness, resentment, and depression would not easily leave her heart. How then could she go on? Those feelings would follow her until the day she died and made her live a living hell.
'Maybe this is my fate,' she thought as she tried to rationalize everything. 'Maybe God is punishing me for hurting the one I've loved the most because of my own foolishness.'
She turned her gaze on the divorce papers and focused on the dotted line where Brian had signed. The handwriting was all too familiar and comforting and even appealing to her. She would do anything to see anything of his words, but she never imaged that it would come as a form of a signature on divorce papers. Molly heaved a sigh as tears started to come out from her eyes and trickle down her cheeks. She was numb and stiff and there was a small smile of self-deprecation on her face, and with tears still flowing out from her swelled eyes, she stared ahead, spacing out in a trance-like state.
"Mommy..." Mark tugged lightly on Molly's sleeve. "It's getting dark outside..."
His voice pulled Molly from her thoughts. She looked at him and then out at the window. The sky was grey with just a speck of light as the sun was nearly set, floating just above the western horizon. Turning back to her son, she took a breath before speaking to him in a quiet and tender voice, "have you packed up your things, Mark?"
Mark nodded and stared up at her with eyes full of worry. Touched by his warmth, sensibility, and concern, she smiled and rubbed the top of his back lovingly. "Okay, let's go," she said.
They both got up, ready to head out and leave the house for good.
Before they left the room, Molly could not help from setting her eyes on the ring that was on the divorce papers one last time. She had spent the whole day looking for it among the garbage that had amassed at the hotel backyard. She had to disregard the horrifying smell and other unspeakable pieces of trash in order to replace her diamond ring. She couldn't have been able to forgive herself if she could not replace it. Even though Brian abandoned all thoughts and feelings that he had had when he put it on her finger that day, she wanted to return the ring to him.
She took a deep breath and turned away from the ring, not wanting to turn back on her decision. She took Mark's hand and led her out of the room. "Let's go, Mark," she told him. No one stopped them as they walked to the elevators with their luggage briskly and hurriedly as though they were running from something disastrous.
Everyone was there, stood in the corridor of the hotel, wanting to see them off. Richie, Shirley, Eric, even Spark and Manny were all there except for Brian, the person she needed to see the most. She had hoped that they would say their farewells to each other once and for all.
Spark spoke, unable to contain his sorrow for them. "Mol, can I accompany you downstairs? Or at least help with your luggage?" he spoke in a soft voice that was full of concern.
Molly thought for a moment, then shook her head, turning to him. "No thank you. We're good," she told him. After a short pause, she explained, "We really wanted to leave and make our departure from this place on our own. Now that I have decided to go, I don't want to have anything to do with the past and with this place. Do you understand?" she asked, her voice quiet and trembling, full of pain as she fought back her tears.
Spark sighed and closed his eyes, controlling himself. Then he opened his eyes again and tried to look into her eyes. He understood full well what she meant, and that she needed to be left alone to leave as she wished. Even so, he wanted to be with her, if only for a few minutes.
Molly did not want to stay a minute longer. Every minute she spent, every look she took intensified her pain even deeper. She felt as if she was standing on the verge of an abyss, and she felt like in another minute, she would fall down and collapse into the dark, bottomless hole and would be unable to come back to life again. She glanced around at the crowd of people who had gathered to see her and Mark off. Her eyes found Shirley and Richie. "Dad, Mom," she called to them, her legs feeble and her voice weak. "Allow me to say this one last time... thank you so much for your love and support for all of my years here, living with you and your family... and thank you for giving birth to Brian. Because of him, I learned what love is and I got to have so many good memories..." She stopped, not being able to finish. Her feeble heart would not let her.
"Little Molly..." Unable to contain her emotions, Shirley ran up to her and wrapped her up in her arms. Her tears started pouring out of her eyes as she spoke to her, "No, Molly, I don't want this to be the last time you call me Mom.... I want you calling me Mom always, forever. I love you so much."
Molly bit her lips, trying to fight back her tears. She didn't notice that her teeth were about to pierce through her skin and make it bleed; she was too overwhelmed with emotion.
Seeing that Molly was in so much distress already, Richie stepped forward and set a hand gently on his wife's back, rubbing it slowly. "Why don't we let them go?" he asked softly. "Let's let them go without any sad memories of us. Let's not make her remember your suffering."0000000☐☐☐☐
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