Love Me in the Dark
16. Suppressed

RIVER

It had been years since I last played guitar, and it felt good to hold it again. As soon as I started picking a few chords, it felt like I had never stopped-those chords, the feelings, the thrill of listening to my voice and melody. When I enjoyed playing and singing for him, Krew had decided to call it a night-he cut the fun.

I couldn't and wouldn't argue with him when he said he had a lot of things to do tomorrow. It wasn't a surprise. He always had, considering he was running a billion-dollar empire on his own. Since I was not anymore his employee, it was a disadvantage on my end-I had no more idea about his schedules, and I couldn't exploit his hospitality than I already had.

I met his gaze and was about to say something when he already shook his head as if he just read my mind.

"You'll get paid. You will receive the same amount you signed in your paycheck."

"This is not the job I want. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love playing, but I want a proper job. It feels like I'm cheating if I receive my paycheck for doing nothing and just for singing and playing for you. I could do this for free. All you have to do is ask."

"Don't worry you'll do more than that." He winked at me. I thought I just died. I couldn't believe I felt like a teenager when Krew was around. "I just don't want you to be jobless while you're here, waiting for this issue to be over."

"Any news?" I wanted to know the progress. Since he fired me, I hadn't heard any updates from him.

"It will be over soon." He rose from the bed, staring at me with those unreadable dark eyes again. He rebuilt his walls up. Just like that, as if he had his own switch. "Can't wait to get out of here?" More likely, I don't know what our relationship holds when this thing ends? Does this thing between us have to end as well? Whatever is there.

"It's not like that, but I missed Journey, and I was so excited to help her plan her wedding before this happened. I missed my job and my life outside your kingdom. I can't stay here for too long and be your burden."

"I'll pretend that I did not hear that."

"About our kingdom part?" I rolled my eyes.

"You would never be a burden, River. Don't worry I have a plan on how to end this quickly. I received news from our family Pl yesterday, but I can't tell you the details until he got concrete evidence to put your ex in jail or issue him a restraining order."

I sighed and nodded. "Thank you."

"You don't have to. Glad to help, and I want to prove to you that you reached out to the right person." He had to say that, and it melted my heart into butter in a hot pan. "Now get some rest."

"You won't stay?" Oops. Why did I have to ask? Of course, he wasn't going to stay. We may kiss, but it didn't mean we were dating. Experimenting, remember? It was just a kiss between two consenting adults who enjoyed each other very much. Gah, who could I have fooled? Only myself.

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"I get it. That kiss is just a kiss, and it won't happen again.”

He sighed, smiled warmly at me. "I didn't regret kissing you. I enjoyed it, and I knew you felt something too, but once I stay here—”

"Don't continue and make me more embarrassed." I rubbed my face with my hands as I felt the burn on my cheeks.

"You don't have to feel that way. I'd like to kiss you again. In fact, I'm planning on doing it before I walk out of this room." He drew a deep sigh and crawled back to bed. "I'm not forcing you into something before we discuss this."

Now I perceived something that I might not be going to like, or I was not ready to deal with it. "I was only asking. I didn't mean to rush something. I'm not that kind of woman, you know. It doesn't mean we kissed, we can do something else, duh." Oh, god. I should really stop talking right now.

"We talked about it earlier, River, and I haven't changed my mind, but I'd like to talk to you about us before move forward." He joined me inside the blanket and slid his left arm under my head. With his bicep supporting my neck, he stretched out behind me and tucked his leg above mine. His right arm rested on my waist.

Closing my eyes, I listened to the thundering of my heartbeat for a few minutes. How could I get some sleep like this when I knew Krew was here with me, our bodies pressed together, generating so much heat between us.

"Get some sleep now, River." It was an order. His breathing stirred my hair, his nose nuzzling against the bare nape of my neck.

I released a shaky sigh and bit my bottom lip. I almost moaned out a load of how it felt so good to be cuddled in his arms. I pulled out my hand inside the blanket, placing it above his. Behind me, Krew stiffened, did a groan as I interlaced my fingers with his, but neither he pulled away.

"Good night," I murmured.

"Night."

I tried not to make his presence a big deal. Besides, this was what I wanted, but my heart hadn't been normal a bit, and it wasn't mine the only thing I felt I could feel his own heartbeat against my back, and so as his crotch-his growing erection poking my butt.

Shamelessly, I flexed my back, grinding, searching for a little friction.

Krew stiffened again, squeezing my hand with his long fingers. "River," he warned roughly into my ear. His warm breaths fanned over the sensitive skin on my neck, lighting fire all over my nerves, causing a moan to slip from my lips. "You're not making it easy for me."

"Krew." I pushed my ass back, gaining a thundering roar from his chest.

"Not tonight, baby." He just denied me. My face and my skin got even hotter. At this time, I was embarrassed.

I sighed desperately. I had no idea what came into me when I was the one who said that I was not the kind of woman. I guessed it would be beyond awkward after we fucked each other, we stayed on the safe roof and pretended it never happened.

"I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this."

"It's okay. I'm not usually like this either. Suppressing my needs, I mean."

My mouth was dry as the desert. "If it makes you feel better. It is the first time I initiated sex."

"Then I make sure I would be the last you could initiate sex. But tonight is not the right time, River. The next opportunity I got, I would be the one to seduce you into bed with me. I make sure you'd never forget our first time together. Don't ever feel bad about showing me what you want."

"You made me already feel better." I turn over, slipped my arm around his waist, tucked my head under his chin as I snuggled against his solid body. He was wearing a shirt, but I could feel the heat radiating from him. I could feel the restraint vibrating deep from him. His heart was a jackhammer. I still felt relief that we both felt the same.

I would say I was impressed. I'd never met a man who denied himself what he wanted. Or maybe I wasn't what he wanted. No, he wanted me. I could feel it. He said it himself. He only had self-control stronger than the Great Wall.

"River, don't overthink."

"I'm not." I inhaled deeply, keeping his scent in my lungs until I couldn't hold it any longer.

Krew was not huge and bulky but ripped with muscles and strength, and I couldn't feel an ounce of fat in his body. He felt delicious, hot, and pure maleness wrapped all around me. And he smelled so good, so addicting, so mind-altering.

I could stay in his arms forever.