Love that heals
Chapter 23 I miss her

Ashutosh:

Rudrani slept calmly on the bed. I stared at her whole night. Her eyes were swollen, and face was tear stained. I cursed myself for forgetting the discrimination which she faced from her birth. She needs love, and mom too said that Rudrani could be healed only with love.

Before my marriage, I discussed with mom, dad, psychologist, and surgeon who treated her to know how to make her normal. Mom told me many times I should stop commanding her which may hurt her. This commanding nature became my habit from a long time, and though I control many times for Rudrani, sometimes I fail.

I ruined everything within a fraction of seconds. I should start again from the beginning. I couldn't sleep the whole night. Rudrani woke up early in the morning and resumed her studies. I was in my works, and she completed her works. I tried to talk but of no use. Mom called us for breakfast. I didn't want to eat anything, but mom may get doubt if I refuse to have breakfast as I already didn't have my dinner.

Rudrani served breakfast for me as she does every day. I know she didn't want mom or dad to know the conflict arose between us. I took a bite, and I felt the taste worst.

"Who cooked this mom? This is horrible to eat. Humans cannot eat this. Does the cook forgot how to make pasta? It's not even boiled properly," I said and pushed away the plate to go but stopped seeing tears in Rudrani's eyes. Why is she crying? I didn't say anything to her. Did I do anything wrong again?

"Rudrani, don't cry beta. You cooked it well, and we liked it," dad said to her.

"Rudrani, I think Ashu is in a bad mood. You don't be upset with him," mom said.

Damn it. Is it cooked by Rudrani? Why is my fate this bad? Now she hates me more for insulting her before everyone. I turned towards her.

"I.... Am.. Sorry, Rudrani. I didn't mean it. I am upset, and I don't know why but...." I said feeling guilty.

She went off to the room leaving the food. I sat silently and finished having it. It tastes good now. Why does it taste horrible before? Pasta was cooked well. I cursed myself for being stupid. Maybe my worst mood affected the taste of the food. After breakfast, I went to Rudrani. She got ready and took her handbag to go. She is going without breakfast just because of my stupidity.

"Rudrani, please wait," I said.

She stopped though I didn't expect that she will stop.

"I am sorry, I don't know that pasta was prepared by you. I didn't mean to hurt you," I said.

"If you complete your words, I will leave," she said without even turning towards me.

"Please have your breakfast," I requested.

"My hunger was already dead. Please stop acting as if you care for me because I am not expecting anything from you. I know well to take care of myself, and I am habituated to it."

"Ok, can you give me the honor of dropping you at your college at least?" I said sarcastically with irritation. I am sure this girl makes me lose my patience.

She glared at me. Thank God, at least now she looked at me.

"No thanks, I can go," she said.

"Enough, I will drop you, that's it," I said.

"You are no one to me, and I no need to respect your words or care for your feelings," she said harshly.

I didn't say anything and left the house as I didn't want to create more mess. How to convince my wife? I should plan something for her to reduce her anger. She has right to be angry with me, but when she says I am no one to her, it hurts a lot.

I started my car and went to the outskirts of the city. I stopped the car near my farmhouse and spent in the garden thinking how to convince her. After some time, I drove off to return home. In a midway, I noticed Rudrani with someone. I stopped the car and saw them. She was laughing and was happy. Someone stood beside her near the panipuri stand. I clutched my fist.

When will she be this happy with me? How can I make Rudrani laugh like this? Is it possible for me to become a reason behind her genuine happiness? Rudrani, I miss you, my love. Please forgive me once. I can't bear you ignoring me. Maybe she too felt the same way when I was with Artika. It's hurting. Am I wrong? I was not intended to hurt my love, but I think I broke her already broken heart. From her birth to till today, no one made her feel that she is special and their priority. I too have done the same. I thought about Artika, but I didn't think about my wife who faced worst situations in life more than Artika. Only her mental strength helped her to survive till now. How do I forget this fact and her past? When someone is depressed and in deep pain, even a little avoidance and a small word will have the ability to kill them completely.

I observed her and enjoyed her laughing session. She looked beautiful while laughing and spark in her eyes making me mesmerized. I think I should thank this Sanjay for making her laugh. I guess he is her childhood friend Sanjay. They had panipuri and moved to his car. I stopped the car near her. I opened the car door. Rudrani looked at me and then at Sanjay.

"Ashu, it's.... He...," she stammered.

Why is she stammering? I don't know. I got down from the car.

"Is he your friend Sanjay, sweetheart?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"Glad to meet you Mr. Sanjay. Welcome to our India. I hope everyone will be like you and will return to India after higher studies than settling abroad. I loved it," I said and shook hands with him. "Thank you. By the way, who are you?" Sanjay asked.

I looked at Rudrani, but she didn't reply anything. My girl was still angry with me.

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"I am Rudrani's husband, Ashutosh."

"Oh glad to meet you brother. Till now Rudrani was talking about you," Sanjay said, and I looked at Rudrani.

"No, I mean I was just saying about our marriage and how you are compelled to marry me," Rudrani said.

Did I ever say that I was forced to marry her? Rudrani, you are frustrating me, and frankly, you have never seen real Ashutosh in me till now. I hope I won't lose my patience.

"Sometimes our heart compels us to do few things, and our marriage is one among them, my love," I answered.

"Shall we go?" I asked, and she nodded.

I know she will agree because my wife doesn't like to insult me before others. She got into the car, and I started the car. After coming to a little distance, Rudrani asked me to stop the vehicle. I stopped the car, and she got down. "What happened love? Why did you get down?"

"I don't want your help Mr. Ashutosh. It's better for you to focus on your life. I just got into your car because I didn't want to insult you before my friend though you can insult me so easily before Artika," she said and stopped an auto. She left in the auto while I was staring at her. At night, I waited for her. She returned home.

"I am sorry, Rudrani. Please forgive me," I said as soon as she entered into our room.

She ignored me and got fresh up. She came back and sat on the chair to study.

"Rudrani, please talk to me," I pleaded.

"What will you do if I ask you to leave the room when I am with another guy in the bedroom? Are you going to move silently?"

I fumed with anger listening to her question but closed my idiotic mouth because I understood words once spoken can't be taken back.

"I think you got my point. So please stop troubling me," she said.

"Rudrani, please I love you. I can't live without you."

"Please don't remember me that obsessed lover who attacked me with acid. Your behavior reminds me of that idiot."

God, this girl is not leaving any chance to hurt me.

"Rudrani, your words are hurting me. Okay fine, I crossed my limits, but now I am bowing before you. Please forgive me and cool down. I will do whatever you say as compensation for hurting you," I said genuinely holding my ears. "Prove me that you love me," she said.

I smirked.

"Are you going to keep the same condition as Artika kept to show my love? I have no problem, and I am ready at any time," I said hiding my smirk.

She glared at me.

"You are really crazy," she said.

"I know it, but you don't know that I am crazy about you," I said.

"How should I believe you? I feel Artika is your priority over me. You are making me feel insecure," she said with tears.

"Don't cry now. Tell me how should I prove?" I asked.

"It's up to you, Mr. Ashutosh. By the way, nothing happened between you and Artika, isn't it?"

"I sware my love. Really I don't have such guts to behave so with any girl other than you. I know what will you do if I behave so," I said pouting.

"Keep in mind; I should never see you close to Artika. Otherwise, I won't forgive you ever," she warned me, and I nodded like a good kid.

"Shall I kiss you once?" I asked as I wanted to kiss her from the moment I saw her tear stained face. I want to take her into my arms and console her explaining why I behaved with her in that way yesterday.

"I didn't forgive you yet and until I forgive you, you should never touch me and must sleep on the couch," she ordered me.

I nodded planning something in my mind to surprise her. I should execute my plan soon and bring her back to me. What if she feels Sanjay is better than me? He even made her laugh where I always make her cry unknowingly. However, I don't think my Rudrani will fall for another person though she is angry with me. She is my love and my wife. I know she won't do such things.

Ashu, be careful and convince your wife fast before that Sanjay snatch her from you, my mind advised me. God, please help me to prove that I love her and what all I want is to keep her happy.