Lust Of The Alpha Phoenix Mountain Series Book 7
Chapter 16

I sit at my desk. My head laying in one hand and a glass full of brandy in the other. I pound it back as the memories of what I did come rushing back.

I remember everything. So clearly, it’s like I wasn’t sick when I did them.

I remember the kidnappings, holding her hostage. I remember Ryan and even breaking out of my restraints in my cell and turning into an out of control monster as I destroyed it.

I remember every horrible threat and word I said. Fuck, I wish I could wipe my brain clean.

But I was sick. Just not by Lainey. She got hurt because of my damn genetics. An overactive adrenal gland sent me onto such a tailspin, I turned into a psycho freak.

I held someone against her will for months and got my best friend killed. How fucked up is that? How the hell do I make up for that?

I was running everything I said to Lainey in my mind when there was a soft knock at the door.

I look up and it was the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

I sat up and my face fell. “Ryan.” I breathe.

He gives a little wave and walks in.

I get up and walk to him.

I stand in front of him and stare. The image of his dead body still fresh in my brain.

I slowly shake my head. I look at him, not blinking. “I’m so sorry, man.”

He rubs his neck. “I know. It’s wasn’t totally your fault.” He mumbles.

“I’m going to make it up to you. I don’t know how, but I will. I promise.” I scrub a hand down my face and rub my nape.

He taps my chest. “You found the cure for the pack. That’s OK. I feel better already.” He gives a little smile.

I smile too. “Yeah. I guess that’s a good thing.”

He leans to me. “As long as you’re no longer locking chick’s in the basement, we’re square.”

I look at him and pull in my top lip. I grab his jacket and pull him to me in a hug and he hugs me back. “I’m so goddamn sorry.”

“I know.” He whispers as he claps my back.

He pushes me back. “So, uh. I’m going to put out a press release for the pool. Then a sign up for those who want the shot.”

“Good. That’s great.” I smile.

“If this works, we should start some sort of campaign to try and get people to move to Severn Station.” He suggests.

I nod. “I’ll come up with something.

“Ok…I’ll see you at home.” He waves and leaves.

He may have forgiving me, but it’ll be a long time before I forgive myself.

After apologizing to Lainey, I had one more stop.

I look into the open double doors and wave. “Uh…hey.”

“Hey!”

I look around the big council table as the faces I threatened to kill over a week ago, look back at me.

I push up my shirt sleeves and stuff my hands in my pockets.

I stand there, swallowing my guilt and glance at all their faces. “I…uh…I’m…” I chew on my lips.

“We get it, man. It wasn’t your fault.” Ash says.

I nod. “I just…I know…I’m sorry.” I tilt my head and shake it as I look at them with a pained face.

My cheeks heat. My remorse is completely out there. I hate being this vulnerable around other Alphas, but I have to.

Zander walks to me. “Really. Hunter. It’s OK. You’re better now. Everything is as it should be. We’re willing to move on. So should you.”

I nod and hang my head.

He slaps my back. “Take your seat.” He smiles.

I walk to my seat beside Peter and sit down.

Zander sits and leans forward. “So, things being as they are, I can pretty much guarantee we dodged the bullet here. We stopped Ash’s vision from partially coming true anyways. Now, we need to make sure the first part doesn’t.”

He stands and goes to a monitor. “With the help of Michael and Billy, we located six hives in this area. We start our hunt there. We made an agreement with Lainey that the Omegas in the hive are to be protected. She will identify them and we extract them as best we can.”

I shoot my hand up. “Lainey’s coming with us?”

Zander nods. “Yes, she’s helping us locate the hives. Is that a problem?”

“No…No…” I sit back and play with my pen.

I’m not sure if Lainey coming with us is a problem or not.

All I know is, when I saw her on the stairs, I know I had a hard time looking away. The only thing I think is it’s residual feelings from my episode. They aren’t real. They can’t be real.

The only thing that is real is the guilt I’m harboring. Now, I have to work with her. This isn’t going to be good.

Zander talked more about the games which woke Brody up.

“When do we get the qualifier results?” He asks.

Ricky turns to him. “In the next month. Everyone’s just finishing up and the Falcon Ridge team will bring them all down to us. They’ll get settled in the city and everyone else will follow. Which reminds me, I may have to ask some of you to open your pack houses up to some of the competitors. So far, all the hotels are booked.”

We all nod in agreement. “We can do that.” I say.

“This is going to be so great!” Brody grins.

Darcy leans back. “Calm down iron head.” He chuckles.

“This is going to be epic! You want me to calm down?” He laughs.

Darcy scoffs. “You don’t know who’s going to be here, bud. I wouldn’t be too cocky.”

He leans back and smirks. “There isn’t anyone in this alliance that can knock me off my game. They would have to be more hard-core than me.”

Darcy shakes his head.

“Ok. We’ll talk more when the games get closer. Let’s just get ready to kill some vamps.” Ricky smirks.

We stand up and all walk out. Ash stops me in the hall.

“Hunt.” He grabs my arm.

I turn. “What?”

He rubs his neck behind his head. “I just want to say, I’m glad you’re better and not getting with that vamp. I was seriously worried for a while.”

“Don’t worry, ok. Lainey is the farthest thing from my mind.” I smile.

I turn away and my smile fades. Not in anger, but of concern.

I lied just now. Lainey is the only thing in my mind right now. I’m not sure why, but she is.

Even though I don’t feel like an obsessed asshole, I still feel something.

I'm not exactly sure what that is right now, but I can’t seem to get her eyes, her skin or the taste of her lips out of my head.

But that’s crazy, right? Of all the lines to cross, Lainey would be a big one. It’s impossible. Zander said it. We’re physically incompatible. Not natural. Not even close. It’s basically a moral sin where we both come from. If I actually entertained my feelings, no one would accept it.

I spent the last year sick, but now I’m questioning how sick I actually was. How much was the chemical imbalance and how much was my heart?

I shake my head as I walk the halls. No. I can’t. I can’t even consider it. It’s not right. Not normal. If I give in to my thoughts, I definitely am sick.

As I enter the science unit, my air left my lungs.

The guards were escorting her this way.

My heart sped up as I looked into her beautiful face. My eyes softened as they floated around her body.

Her expression was not happy to see me, but it doesn’t stop this thing that I’m feeling. This little emotion in me that says for a quick second that I could cross that line if she allowed it.

I watch her head upstairs and I’m bumped out of my thoughts by someone walking by.

I continue up to my office, chewing on my cheek and thinking about what Ash and the others said. It’s not acceptable. It’s dangerous. If I was religious, it would be a blasphemy.

So why to I feel like I still want her?

If the pool cured me, why do I still feel the way I do. What’s wrong with me?

I’ll have to stop by Ricky’s lab later. Somethings still wrong with me.

****

That night, I spent most of it, laying awake.

Trying to figure out why this is happening.

It can’t be the universe. It doesn’t work like that.

A shifter and a vamp? No.

I flip over on my stomach and sleep finally found me.

Soon, I’m dreaming of kissing her. Feeling her body on mine. Making love to her and hearing her moan my name.

In my dream, she bites my shoulder as I thrust into her. My blood covers her lips and we kiss.

I feel everything. Her wetness. Our heat.

It felt so wrong, but it was absolute heaven. The only heaven I wanted.

She screams my name and I shoot up in bed. Absolutely riled up.

I try to calm myself and scrub a hand down my face as I blow out a breath.

My dick is hard as stone and I have only one choice. I lay down and jerk myself to the dream that’s fresh in my mind.

Her soft touch on my face. Her sounds in my ear.

I think about how her soft breasts feel in my hands. The taste of her neck. The feel of her pussy wrapped around my dick.

I think about her legs wrapped around me as I give her my entire length. I feel her come on me. Her pussy squeezing me.

I feel my balls pull up and I watch as I come all over my stomach.

I throw my head back and huff out breaths. “Fuck.” I pant. I put a hand on my head. “What the fuck?” My chest heaves as I look out my window to the moon.

I need these feelings gone. I can’t be having these thoughts.

I clean up and finally get some real sleep.

I need help. I am sick.